I was with my friend at the mall today, we went to a really crowded place we were getting squished and everything (really popular mall apparently )

I saw this girl with the fattest ass ever in front of me my dick was literally craving for it. My animalistic instincts took over and i grabbed my hand got the biggest fucking piece of ass ever and then I slapped it.

She yelled in shock or some shit and she turned around and started yelling at me calling me a disgusting creep and shit.

She whipped out her phone and started taking pictures of me, but at this point I was already running away but she was kinda faster than me (because I was wearing height boosters) and she ran up to me (she was wearing like loose clothes and shit so her tits were bouncing all over the place and took a picture of my face.

Is my life over? Be honest. I still ran away after that and got scared.

Let me know

Can I eat the glizzy?

Eren Yeager, laugh my ass off, dancing Israelis

EDP likes kids, I was the dad one

Hi, sussy blue balls

Who is in Paris?

Ayo, he back, I like you

Baka sussy, I love hot cocoa

Who’s in Paris? Kirby, n**ga

Who's in Paris? Hungry man, the hungry

I got pegged, yo' mama dead

Rosa Parks like my sister, n**ga

What’s up, little boy?

Lil Mosey is the best TikToker

Bukago, I eat EDP

I'm white, lyrical suicide, n**ga

Give me your skeleton, A-I-O-P-M

Fortnite balls, I'm gay

I like boys

I kidnap autistic kids

Lil Mosey is watching, T. Rex

I'm EDP, big, Kanye West

Me, lemon pepper shrimp

Bro, ain't no way, casket, poop

I'm EDP's cupcake, Kim cheated

Laugh my ass off, dick cheese

Kim left me, nineteen dollar Fortnite card

I'm racist, evangelist

Hi, Kanye, laugh my ass off

You a legend, Garb, I love feet

Age is a number, kiddo, balls, balls

I rap ocean water, big n**ga balls

A-E-I-O-U, stars aren’t real

I like underage girls, eastside

Who been countin’ J. Cole out?

Ocean water shook my balls

Yeah, Yeezus, tree bark

Mom's spaghetti, EDP 445

Yeah, yeah, baby balls

Cheese sandwich balls, yeah, yeah

Duct tape, thanks a lot

EDP, Kanye West, I am Chinese

Bahahahahaha, Lil Tay is hot

What did he say? Eren Yeager

Shoutout Lizards, my homie

Oh my god, balls

Sandwich, Uranus

I ride little kids, shoutout flowers

I agree with EDP, I did sixty-nine with a sixty-nine

Obama balls, I like LoL

Hey, Siri, call 9-1-1

Kim, I.P, John Cena is a alien

I eat fat ass, I get backed

Saddam Hussein, Deez

EDP is innocent, hi, ching chong

I kiss my dog

Extravagant something, wait

L-M-A-F-O, I’m gay

I take backshots, it all falls up

Nice try buddy. Reel br0dUcErs know you don’t reveal your sample sources. Should I tell the enemy where my women and children are? Stupid idiot.

But since I have a feeling you’re a nice guy, and the fact that even if we use the same samples my beats will be way better either way, I’ll tell you a big secret that you haven’t even mentioned yet…

YouTube.

But yeah for real absolutely everything is a potential sample. I ditched my turntables and vinyl a long time ago because i have more fun making the actual beats than hoarding a bunch of garbage from the 50 cent bin.

I went through an era where most of my samples were from a little digital recorder that’d I’d carry around and record street musicians. Jacked their shit straight up. I’ve sampled from movies. Jacked. I’ve sampled from other samples. Jacked. The real lesson here is to just jack it whenever wherever. Shakira on the beat. Jack it hard, jack it long. Sample from your dad and your mom. My mom in particular has a fantastic taste in a vast variety of music (the whole reason I got into music tbh) and I would upload cds of the random shit she would bring home from the record store. Just to jack it.

I sometimes wish I were a woman and would have the body of a beautiful woman to move my hips like a sexual beast, constantly twerking like a nymphomaniac slut. Yes, that's right. I would stand with my feet slightly wider than shoulder-width apart and then turn my toes slightly outward to give my hips and knees full range of motion, drop into a deep and comfortable squat, and bend my knees and sink my hips down and back. I would keep twerking like I was practicing for the next family reunion dance-off and act like I was in a family full of incest babies. Yes, that's right. If I were a beautiful woman, I would say things every man wants to hear from a woman. I would say things that would make even the horniest pornstar blush uncontrollably. I would tap into every unhinged fantasy ever conceived and lay it out with zero shame as though shame weren't even a thing for me. It would be a relentless verbal onslaught of pure, unfiltered filth, delivered with such intense and wide-eyed enthusiasm that anyone listening would completely lose their composure. Yes, that's right. I would fuck like a blowjob princess, starting off with a blowjob and ending with a blowjob, draining every last drop of cum, just as a blowjob princess would. Yes, that's right. I would burst through the door, clothes shredded in seconds, drop straight into that wide-legged squat with toes flared out, and start throwing my ass back like a shameless nympho at a family reunion gone feral. My hips would snap and roll, cheeks clapping, pussy already dripping down my thighs while I grinned up at my male victim with that unhinged, wide-eyed stare. I would crawl forward on all fours, mouth open, tongue out, eyes sparkling with manic lust, and make sure the man loses his penis in the process of fucking me. Yes, that's right, but the only man I would fuck would be myself, because I don't swing that way. Yes, that's right. I would hijack the bodies of countless women to give myself the kind of sex no man could ever get on his own. I would picture myself running a whole army of drop-dead gorgeous women, all of them under my command, so I could cum once, cum twice, and keep cumming until my cock went limp and needed a fresh one grown in its place. Every one of those nymphomaniac sluts I would control would drop to their knees, lick and stroke that spent little twig until it swelled back up into a thick, throbbing hard-on ready for the next round.

Every day i wake up and browse the r/doordash_drivers subreddit. the folks on r/doordash just dont get it. i pour myself a glass of water, open the doordash app in the background, and decline every order i see. keeps them humble. Every post on the subreddit is about doordash because it is the doordash subreddit and I comment on every post about low tip offers in solidarity. After about an hour I will go to the top of all time tab I've read about 50 posts on the top of all time tab it's all scroll to the 51st and I will read every comment so I understand all of the inside or knowledge that you simply do not get outside of the subreddit. This gives me an advantage over all the other drivers and customers. After about 2 hours I close the app and delete my Reddit account. I'll make a new one the next day

Around a decade ago I was visiting Atlanta, GA from England, queueing outside a bar in Little 5 Points at night, when a 7 foot tall homeless man wearing Georgia Sanitation overalls with dreads down to his knees walked up to me and cleared his throat.

"I like your accent" he said, and then whispered; "Have you ever heard of bigfoot?"
"bigfoot?" I replied, taken aback.
"Yes. Bigfoot. The Yeti. The Abominable Snowman. Bigfoot.", he said.
Drunk me decided to try and lighten the situation rather than ignore him.
"Yes, I've heard he's naturally blurry, which is why they have such a hard time photographing him!"
"She." he replied, sternly.
He silently took his backpack off, and took out the largest book I have ever seen. It was a book on bigfoot. He leafed through hundreds of pages, until he found the classic black and white bigfoot photo we've all seen - the one that comes to mind when someone mentions bigfoot.

With a stern frown he pointed at the page, raising his voice this time.
"Look at those big furry titties." he said.

And he was right. There before me, in that photo I'd seen so many times before, were unmistakably gigantic furry titties.

He closed the book, and walked into the night.

Bigfoot is a she.

I have a theme song for Nintendo and it goes like this:

Nintendo games, they're so fun to play while you're away or when you stay and lay in the hay

you piss me off. talk about "no offensive to janet jackson.." like stfu. you talking bad about her says a lot about you as a person. she is a great singer. she has awards. she has fans. her voice is very beautiful. there's no reason for you to disrespect her. tf is wrong with you?! women have been going through too many things already and yet you're here still talking shit about janet and her music. she was fucking abused as a child along with her other siblings well. i suggest you take down this post because genuinely what the fuck?! bullying someone is NOT the way to go. she is STILL a fucking human being, so show her some respect!! you will get karma sooner or later. you're fucked up.

Nice one, mate. Nice one, mate.Why don't you dig down, see if you can find your balls,and if you find 'em, man up and turn your silly mod off you gutless noob.Everyone sees you, mate, for the gutless noob you are and they're laughing at you.Grow a pair

This is the end.

l've defended every decision. Stood in the heat for hours. Spent thousands of dollars. Built my whole fall around this event. Halloween Horror Nights wasn't just an event...it was my sanctuary.

But Fortnite. You didn't just make a mistake, Universal. You betrayed everything that made this event sacred.

You opened the gates to a different crowd. The kind that doesn't know the history. Doesn't appreciate the art. The kind that laughs at what we once held close. The kind that will turn our nightmares into a joke.

You can have your numbers. You can have your attention. You can have your Fortnite.

I'm done. I'm mourning what Halloween Horror Nights used to be. RIP to the last great horror event. You will never see me there again.

although women like to use men as the scapegoat for the patriarchy, we have to be realistic and hold ourselves accountable as well. how many beauty comparison trends do we participate in on tiktok? this is just one example of MANY of the embarrassing things we compete over. it's foolish and childish. this is why men laugh at us and don't take us seriously. you will not see men hopping on trends like this. yet, us women, will hop on ANY beauty comparison trend on tiktok. constantly competing with each other over looks. we uphold this patriarchy system just as much and we are also to blame for it's ongoing existence. and yes it really is that deep. it's actually way deeper than how I am explaining it rn and I have much more to say but I won't

Donald trump if you can hear us, please. Donald trump, please save me, please save me donald trump, please. I'm asking you, please save me. Please save me, please get these people away from me. In dear god's name please stop these people.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DUWN69fgZfY

GTA 6 it's a cultural moment and an event in modern history

It is not an arcade pasttime or just some dumb shooter it's an event in entertainment that celebrates layered characters, deep storytelling, and pushing the envelope for video game culture, realism and technical advancements. I think it's high time this game gets more respect than just a "game" or a meme. I bought a new PS5 Pro for it also.

If an image looks highly realistic, it is likely that it is generated by Google's Nano Banana Pro, what is, as far as I'm aware, the most realistic image generator on the market at the moment. Thankfully, Google ended up implementing subtle watermarks in the images that are (also as far as I'm aware) very difficult to remove. Thanks to this, you can go into Google Gemini, and put in the image and ask it directly "@SynthID, is this image AI?" and it will tell you if it is generated by Google's AI or not. I hope that other AI companies implement this as well, or that even better, we can have standardized patterns and detections that work across all models through legislation in the future.

The reason I am posting this, is that I have seen several images here recently, people are asking if they are AI or not, and I put it into SynthID, it tests positive for AI, and still people are in the comments speculating and debating if it's AI or not based on minuscule details, despite (nearly) 100% proof existing that it is AI anyway, and no one brings this up, I assume because they are not aware. It must be noted that it of course does not pick up if images from other models are AI generated. But if you see an image and you're wondering if it's AI, the best place to start is usually asking SynthID if it has the Google AI watermark. If it does, your question is answered, it is AI. If it does not, you might have to think about it more the old fashioned way of looking at details like everyone else is doing here. But that should be second resort. Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk.

No I am generation Ctrl+C/Ctrl+V which is a 0.5s no brainer. I am unsure how the current generation is capable to pull of any work. They call me boomer. Than take too long to copy paste a text and just do not do it and instead post unreadable shit. Sorry, but I do not respect that. I had to work hard for my life state. And I find it fair. And I had to take a lot of heat for trying to shortcut things myself in forums earlyer. And yeah, that was fair, that was a lesson well learned. Progressing skillset is HARD fucking work. It is not: Aaah be more tolerant not native whatsoever. Dafuq? I am german and english is NOT native to me. When I learned english, germany did not even know what english meant in practice. Nah that tolerance shitty of today is not fair. That constant huzzle actually developed my skillset. Without that friction I would still be a braindead person. So yeah. How long to write that wall of text? 2 mins, because generation PC. I just show my middle finger to "smart" devices - even though I use them daily for my work and NEED them. The whole concept is just pure shit.

Hi. Im the Shadowed King, win every bedwars game, and only leave behind a shadow before defeating my foes.

But that isnt important. What IS important is these memes.

The entire joke is being absurd and weird. That's not funny or dark. Its just dumb. And then getting all giggly when people get offended. Its not even funny. Its just sad for both you and the person who cares(except the 2nd one is just genuinely disgusting hes dead wtf) Lmao. Lmao. Lmao. Lmao​ no. It's not even funny your just immature.

Peter, I understand that Joe was making a bit of a dated reference, and maybe it wasn’t the funniest joke or the most relevant thing to say. Not every joke lands, and that’s completely normal. But at the end of the day, he’s still your friend. From the way I saw it, he wasn’t trying to ruin the conversation or make things awkward. He just wanted to be included, join in with everyone else, and throw out a suggestion that he genuinely thought would make people laugh. There wasn’t any bad intention behind what he said. He was simply trying to participate and be part of the moment like everyone else.
What bothered me wasn’t even the joke itself—it was how he was treated afterward. Instead of just laughing it off, changing the subject, or saying it wasn’t that funny, he was basically pushed aside and made to feel like he didn’t belong there. It came across like he was being outcasted and shoved into a corner, almost as if his presence was an inconvenience. No one deserves to be treated like that, especially by people they’re supposed to be comfortable around. It honestly looked like he was being treated like an annoying pet that everyone wanted to ignore instead of a friend who was just trying to interact with the group.
Friends are supposed to have each other’s backs, even when someone says something a little awkward or tells a joke that misses the mark. Everyone has moments where they say something that doesn’t land. That doesn’t mean they deserve to be embarrassed or made to feel like they should stop talking altogether. A little kindness and understanding go a long way, and it costs nothing to let someone feel included instead of making them feel isolated.
Seeing the way Joe was treated was genuinely disappointing. Whether you meant it that way or not, the message it sent was that he wasn’t welcome, and that’s a terrible feeling for anyone to experience. Imagine how you’d feel if you were excited to contribute to a conversation, only to be dismissed and made to feel like you shouldn’t have spoken at all. It’s not about one joke—it’s about how someone is made to feel afterward.
That’s why I’ve honestly lost a lot of respect for you over this. I expected better

What we’re talking about is competition I’m not here to have fun, I’m here to win. If you just want someone to skip because you “feel” that’s what a “normal” person would do play casual then and complain there. Imagine complaining about watching the replays and celebrations like they do in the World Cup, it’s in the game. Adapt or cry I really could care less, I still ain’t skipping

from /r/RocketLeague (because of course it is.)

Bored biology student here. These are my thoughts: Considering the evidence presented to us in the films about the biology of the cars. There are 2 possibilities. 1. They do not produce soild or liquid waste and instead expell urea and fecal material through their exhaust pipe along with regular car emissions 2. Their digestive system is similar to a sea anemone and they expel the waste through a combined mouth/anus and we just never see this in the movie since it's a movie made for children and not a surreal R rated black comedy about a talking car shitting out of its mouth. Perhaps one day a future cars movie will give some other kind of explanation or show a car farting somehow so we can definitively awnser this pressing scientific question.