Finding a reliable private caregiver for a loved one is a huge challenge many of us face. While agencies are an option, they can be expensive, and finding the right person can be difficult. There's a strategy that often goes under the radar, contacting local CNA (Certified Nursing Assistant) and HHA (Home Health Aide) schools directly.

These schools are training the next generation of caregivers. Many students are actively looking for opportunities to gain real-world experience, build their resumes, and earn extra income. The students are trained in the latest care techniques and are capable of caring for most patients. Before going to the school, it may help if you had a written paper with your name, number, city/neighborhood, and explaining the needs of the patient.

How to do it:

1. Identify Local Schools: Search online for "CNA schools near me" or "Home Health Aide programs [Your City, State]".
2. Contact the Right Person: Reach out to the program director or someone in their career services department.
3. Explain Your Needs: Clearly describe the position. Be specific about the hours (part-time, weekends, overnight), the duties (personal care, meal prep, light housekeeping, errands), and the desired start date. Bring your written paper with you just in case.
4. Ask for Referrals or Posting: Ask if they have a job board where you can post or if they are willing to refer any exceptional students or recent graduates who might be a good fit for a private arrangement.
5. Be Clear It's a Private Hire: Emphasize that this is a direct, private employment opportunity. This manages expectations for both the school and the potential candidates.

Connecting directly with CNA and HHA schools is an innovative solution to the common problem of finding quality private care. It allows you to tap into a pool of motivated, newly trained individuals and build a personal relationship that can lead to a more stable and cost-effective care arrangement for your family. It requires a little extra effort on your part to handle the hiring process, but the potential payoff in finding the right person makes it well worth considering.

*If this helped you, please click the upvote so it can help others as well, thank you*

I volunteer with Age Up in the Bay Area, which connects with elderly care facilities to provide them with fun activities and events. Looking for similar organizations in NYC (Manhattan and Brooklyn) or contacts.

Hi folks. I'm looking for some in home elderly care for my grandparents - do you have any advice on what I should be asking/checking with agencies or individual carers? This is my first time and it feels overwhelming.

How do you even check for things like 'you don't abuse my grandpa right?' or oh do have you ever been sued? Any advice would be so kindly appreciated - thank you so much!

I applied on january twentieth. Total 142+ days. Finally we had a temporary approval pending caregiver training online (kind of a joke). Very obvious questions and answers. Then, a home visit (the woman was very nice, very professional).

On the 11th our local social worker in charge of our caregiver application said she received the paperwork and it was approved tier one with back pay from january 20th.

Now the paperwork packet needs to be sent to the centralized processing office in texas. If they get to it before the fifteenth, she said we'd receive our first payment, including a lump sum for back pay by july 5th. IF IT IS HANDLED BY THE 15TH. Aug if not.

Now my question, do you think that Texas office will actually get to it before the 15th? Are they as backlogged as every other office in the VA caregiver program?

Is the back pay lumped in with the first actual payment? Do they drop backpay separately?Because let's face it, total 142+ day application process they're all ready five months late?

UPDATE: JUNE 22, 2026: i received the approval packet with the tier level. i'll update it when the deposit actually hits the bank.So that other people can maybe get some help or reassurance.From this

For those of you who have hired private-pay in-home caregivers for a parent, how did you find them and what was the experience like? Did you go through an agency, care (dot com), word of mouth, or something else? What worked and what didn't?

So basically I have one main question. I just got promoted to lead caregiver or in other terms im now a “float cg” I signed a paper saying that I’m available on call from 8am-8pm 7 days a week. This wasn’t discussed when the promotion was first brought up to me. I didn’t want to be a hassle or cause any trouble so I signed it without even asking one question. But my question for all of you, did I just sign my life away ? I’m a pretty busy individual outside of work. For one I fish, fishing is one of my only gateways to serenity and peace, and on the other hand my girlfriend and I live across the state from eachother and we see each other every weekend. “We are moving in soon” My boss said I won’t be working 7 days a week but I don’t have schedule. AM I COOKED? How am I going to deal with burnout. I’m so nervous.

Ok, so, I’m not a full on CNA, just a simple in home caregiver. But I still think this might be the place to turn to for the answer to this question. Please tell me if I’m wrong to think this.
So I have a client who lives in a sober living house. One morning, I was in my client’s room with him (door cracked but touching the door frame), when his house manager knocked on the door, opened it without waiting for a response, and said “this needs to be open if you’re going to be in a room together”.
Now my question here is this: how am I supposed to provide private, HIPAA abiding personal care (such as showers or help getting dressed/undressed) if I’m not allowed to be behind a closed door with my client? I’m in Oregon if that helps.

I’m a newer caregiver and I’m trying to figure out if what I’m experiencing is normal or if I’m slowly being put into roles that aren’t really caregiving.

After my weekends off, I come back and nothing has been cleaned. Dishes are still piled up, doggy pads are left all over the house (sometimes even dog poop on the floor), and overall the home is usually messy.

For context, my client is not someone who is completely dependent. Honestly, I would say he’s fairly independent and does a lot on his own. Because of that, I’ve started to feel less like a caregiver and more like I’m functioning as a housekeeper/maid.

When I’m there, I’ll ask if he needs anything like food, drinks, or errands run, and 99% of the time he says no. So most of my shift ends up being me just sitting there unless I start cleaning on my own.

My routine has basically become:
- Clean kitchen and pick up dog pads when I arrive
- Sweep daily, mop M/W/F
- Make bed daily, change sheets M/F
- Clean bathroom on Fridays

That’s pretty much it because he doesn’t really request help and mostly does things himself.

On top of that, he will sometimes ask me to wash his dogs, and he also yells at them in a very aggressive way when he’s frustrated (saying things like he’s going to “strangle” them). If I miss something or don’t do a task exactly how he expects, he will cuss and get upset.

For example, he wanted me to dump his ashtray daily when I make the bed. He thought he had told me, but he hadn’t, and then said, “I told you to dump that damn ashtray every time you make the bed.”

I guess I’m just trying to figure out if this kind of situation is normal in caregiving, or if I’m stepping into duties that are outside the scope of what the job should be. And how do other caregivers handle situations where the client doesn’t really ask for care but still expects you to be there and do general cleaning?

My mom has been in a rehab for a little over a month recovering from broken hip surgery. She is currently prescribed trazodone 50 mg, Seroquel 25 mg, and melatonin 5 mg. She gets these around 8:30 pm and in bed. Some nights she sleeps pretty well but more often than not she’s agitated and up most of the night trying to get out of bed. I keep a private caregiver with her at all times so that she doesn’t do further injury.

She is also prescribed Ativan and oxy as needed. On a couple of occasions those have been given spaced apart from her sleeping meds and still up, agitated and restless all night.

We have been asked per doctors and PT that we limit naps during the day so that she doesn’t get the days and nights confused. This up and down all night will happen even when she has had no nap during the day.

I’m waiting for a call back from the facility psychiatrist that has to be the one to adjust or change meds. But in the meantime, wanted to see if anyone else has input on what they’ve seen work and/or other ways to calm and settle her so she can sleep.

Thank you for sharing any of your thoughts or experiences.

Edited to add: she also recently had a UTI. They did a dose of fosfomycin. After a week they added pyridum for bladder spasms and another antibiotic (Macrobid) for 7 days.

Warning: Incoming long Rant and content may be overwhelming.

I want to make it clear I (20F) am not a caregiver myself. My mom (50F) is the primary caregiver for my grandma (late 70s), who has many ailments, COPD and diabetes just being some of them, along with what appears to be early dementia. Mom's been taking care of grandma since 2019 when we lost my aunt, mom's older sister and grandma's original caretaker. Mom and Dad (who is basically a co-caregiver) both already help to clean her up, check her vitals and keep track of her meds, calm her down when she panics, pay for her rent, bills, groceries, laundry, etc...and that's just what I can recall off the top of my head. It was already draining for Mom, but over the years its become increasingly taxing for her especially after grandpa (her dad) died in 2023.

But what making me post here is mainly these last couple months, the past couple months, things seem to have progressed significantly (not in a good way) to where grandma would say all of these wild things to my parents. Or she would be lost in a delusion, thinking something (sometimes thinking my parents are that something) is trapping or hurting her, which just makes her freak out and scream-which scares the shit out of my uncle who lives with her and makes him scream too. And sometimes this will happen after everything is calm and my parents JUST leave their house, forcing Mom to have to go back and calm everyone.

Just recently, we've all been sick with allergies/cold and Mom to this day still has a bad cough from this. Last week, Mom stayed home so she could go to the ER for this cough...but during this time both her cousin and grandma were also in the hospital. Grandma had been calling Mom every day during her stay, fussing and saying nasty stuff to the nurses and scared the shit out of my mom when one day she told her she picking out her casket 💀...cue Mom going off on her in a terrified angry rant.

Another day, grandma refused to take her meds so instead of Mom taking herself to the er for her horrible cough that sounded like she was coughing a fucking lung out....she went to the hospital and stayed with grandma, for HOURS. And never went to the er...just did a virtual where they gave her meds that I'm not even sure will help her and the next day Mom went to work with that cough.

All of this, along with our own household's issues has led to my mother going from being the calmer, nurturing, level headed one in our family to having a very short fuse (even shorter than my dad who already has a bad temper), being stressed tired and sad more than not, going off on me and my kid brother over small things and overall just...no longer being very emotionally available for us. It feels like because parents are so stressed and things seem so out of control, that they're taking their frustration out on me and my brother, who while we're not saints, their reactions to us feel disproportionate sometimes. The expectations for how our household should be feel much higher, rules are much stricter, their words to us are much harsher, and this last part feels selfish to say but it feels like there's little patience or energy left for me and my (14M) brother's issues or feelings, as the few times we express them it gets this reaction: 🤬

Because of this, there feel like a very bad strain on our own family that other than birthdays or holidays, most of our interactions with each other is arguments/fussing, misunderstandings or everyone being in their own corners. And there seems to not be an end to it. Grandma has home aides, but one of them is very bad at their job while the other is only for weekends, and after 10 hours the rets of the night is up to my parents to care for her. For some reason, grandma who is wheelchair bound and getting worse keeps getting denied 24/7 care and Mom made it clear that 1) she is not putting her in a nursing home and 2) after gramps died, she doesn't have that fight left in her to try and push for it more. Which means that she and Dad are just gonna keep doing this until....well the inevitable. I'm scared Mom will run herself to the ground and not sure how much more this family can take.

tdlr: My mom whose the primary caregiver for my grandma has been increasingly overwhelmed by all the demands of caring for her, and grandma's condition has gotten very bad as of late. The stress form trying to support grandma have significantly impacted my parents' mental and even physical health, and has also taken an emotional tool on our family dynamic. I'm scared that Mom is neglecting herself and that our family's dynamic won't survive this strain and not sure what we can do here.

(Sorry this ended up being so long. I didn't know where else I could veent about this.)

This might get a lot of hate, but I wanted to see what everyone thinks. I live on the Oregon Coast (a little inland, so not in the direct line of danger if the Cascadia fault line ruptures, but still in an area that could see a lot of death, chaos, and catastrophe).

I just started a new DSP job, and during orientation we had a huge lecture about emergency preparedness, especially about the potential Cascadia fault line rupture. They expect staff to stay with their individuals (which is understandable), and if staff aren’t at work, they’re required to go to the nearest facility.

I understand that individuals with I/DD need care and could potentially die on their own, but I keep wondering—would people actually follow this? In a life-or-death situation, would anyone truly abide by these expectations? How can someone prioritize work when they have a family at home that needs them? What if your family dies because you weren’t there? What if you lose them and never see them again? All for a job that pays poorly, doesn’t always show appreciation, and sometimes involves being physically harmed (though yes, I know it’s meaningful work, and that’s why I want the job).

How could anyone willingly choose work over their spouse, kids, or pets in a situation like this? My company says that in a state of emergency, family members are welcome at the workplace—but realistically, no one may be able to get there if roads are inaccessible. The fastest option might be on foot, and for me personally, it feels unrealistic to expect my spouse, baby, and pets to travel through dangerous conditions like flooding, unstable ground, crumbling buildings, downed power lines, and general chaos. I can do my best to make sure the resident is safe, but how realistic is that in the middle of that level of chaos?

1. Everyone has their own resident(s) and their own family to worry about.

2: If you’re trying to get to your family as quickly as possible, the resident would likely be overwhelmed and overstimulated, possibly having behaviors, and on top of that, there may be physical impairments that slow everything down. So what are you supposed to do?

I’m really just looking for other perspectives, because to me, it feels absolutely crazy not to prioritize your family, when they could be 2 of the expected 14,000 deaths (according to FEMA) as a result of the big one, and putting work first. It’s a life-or-death situation.

I have a coworker that has a senior who lives with her and she gets paid decent money. She said that it was going to be a group home a but ended up with just the one in her home with her family. Does anyone know anything about that? and how to maybe get involved? and what the pay might look like?

P.S. I live in AZ if that changes anything.

so I need advice on what to do. I have an eldery neighbor around 80. She unfortunately was never able to have kids so she doesnt have anyone to help care for her. I noticed this back in the 2020 lock down days and stepped in to help out. I am now considered her unpaid caregiver. She is still very independent, but she has been having a lot of memory issues so I have definitely stepped up a lot more over this last year.

Around 6-8 months ago I ended up taking her to the ER because she had a fever for days and had some really odd behavior, paranoia, anger and a lot of memory issues. It took me days to convince her to go, until she ultimately decided on her own. she didnt even remember me talking to her about it.

she ended up having a full kidney infection, they stated it probably started with a bladder infection but she said she didnt notice she had one but was complaining about how much she needed to use the restroom.

Now here's the thing. I think its happening again. I noticed odd behavior for the last few days. trying to dry her clothes outside in the rain. going outside without pants on. Stating people are shining flash lights in her windows at night.

today I asked how shes been sleeping and she said terrible because of how often she has to pee when, but when she goes nothing comes out. so I reminded her those are signs of a bladder infection and we should have it looked at. but here's the thing, I have zero control in any doctor appointments. she has an appointment in a few days just to check up on other things. she said she would mention the bladder stuff but I worry she will forget because of how bad her memory is right now. Am I allowed to call her doctors office and mention this to them, even though im not her family?

My aunt is 87. She lives alone. She is very stubborn and opinionated. She never had children and has alienated any friends she and her husband may have had. I live 250 km away. I drive in to take her to appointments and Trey to set up supports to improve her life. She loves dr. Appointments, X-rays, bloodwork, etc. However she will not agree to follow up care. Every prescription gets refused after one pill. Physio is “useless”. Cortisone shots don’t “work”. Acupuncture is ineffective. Etc. home delivery food is too “spicy”. All her doctors are “quacks”. She has been diagnosed with acid reflux, osteoarthritis and stage 3 liver decline. She feels the doctors just are not trying hard enough to “cure her”. She is in denial that there is no cure for old age. She lives in a bungalow but cannot exit her home because of 3 steps. She refuses to have a lift or ramp installed. She is depressed and doesn’t get out of her nightgown except when I visit. She complains about loneliness and pain. I’ve tried to convince her to consider assisted living. Hard NO. I feel so bad for her. Her final years will be painful, isolated and lonely and they wouldn’t have to be if she wasn’t standing in her own way to solutions.

The situation is that I am paying rent to them. Is it stlll possible for them to get paid doing caregiving for me through an agency? I am disabled and get the maximum allotment through SSI. So I would likely contact medicaid and ask for a caregiver, then try to specify them. They have yet to go through the training for this. If there is anything like resources I could use to figure this out, please let me know. I know this person a bit and have trouble with being around complete strangers.

I work in dialysis.
I see the hard days. The quiet strength. The real moments.

If you have any question about dialysis — ask it.

Patient. Parent. Caregiver. Or just curious.

No perfect wording needed.
No “too small” questions.

I’ll answer from real experience — not just textbooks.

Drop your question below 👇
Let’s talk about it.

I don’t remember my mother.

She died when I was 14 months old. I never heard her voice. I never heard her tell a story. There are no recordings of her, just photos and second-hand memories.

My dad is 95 now.

He comes from a time when everyone on the block knew each other’s names. When neighbors were family. When community wasn’t a concept, it was just how you lived.

When he talks, our family leans in. He tells stories about immigrating from Italy, living through the Great Depression, World War II, growing up Italian American in a working-class neighborhood that didn’t have much money but had an abundance of tradition, love, and pride.

When my mom died, my dad raised four boys alone.

He left work early every day to pick me up from school. He always had a sandwich with him “just in case you’re hungry.” Family was his first priority. Everything else came second.

My grandmother helped raise me too. She made the best fried dough in the world. I can still remember the smell in the morning. Better than any alarm clock.

In a lot of ways, I feel out of time. I share their values. Family first. Show up. Remember where you came from.

What’s been weighing on me lately is that I know my dad won’t be here forever. I don’t want my grandchildren to grow up without hearing my dads voice. I don’t want these stories, our family history too disappear when he does.

I’m trying to listen more. To ask better questions. To slow down and really hear him while I still can.

For anyone who has gone through this, how are you holding onto your parent’s memories while they’re still here?

I’m not really looking for answers. I just needed to say this somewhere people might understand.

Thanks for reading.

I'm a caregiver for my Dad during the day. I need recommendations for a food container system that I can use with meals that have both hot and cold items. I like preparing a hot lunch before I leave for the day, like soup, meatloaf, rice, veggies, etc. But his meal might also contain a bit of salad or fresh fruit, which are best cold. Looking for a package system that provides ways to keep hot things hot and cold things cold, so I can leave it on the counter, ready to grab and eat when he's hungry. Any suggestions? His fine motor skills and vision aren't the best these days, nor is his balance. So containers need to be stable and pretty ergonomically designed.

Falls are one of the leading causes of injury among older adults and yet, many falls are preventable with the right strategies and support in place. For seniors who want to remain safe, confident, and independent at home, fall prevention is not optional; it’s essential. This how-to guide outlines practical, proven steps families can take to reduce fall risks at home.

Step 1: Identify and Remove Common Tripping Hazards

Many falls occur due to everyday household items that are easy to overlook.

What to do:

• Remove loose rugs or secure them with non-slip backing
• Keep walkways clear of cords, clutter, and furniture
• Ensure floors are dry and free of spills
• Arrange furniture to allow clear, wide walking paths

A safer environment starts with proactive hazard reduction.

Step 2: Improve Lighting Throughout the Home

Poor visibility significantly increases fall risk, especially at night.

What to do:

• Install bright, consistent lighting in hallways and staircases
• Use nightlights in bedrooms and bathrooms
• Ensure light switches are easy to access at room entrances

Proper lighting helps seniors confidently navigate their home at all hours.

Step 3: Encourage Safe Footwear and Mobility Support

What seniors wear and how they move matters.

What to do:

• Choose sturdy, non-slip shoes instead of socks or slippers
• Avoid footwear with smooth soles or poor support
• Use assistive devices (canes or walkers) as recommended

Stability begins from the ground up.

Step 4: Make Bathrooms and Stairs Safer

Bathrooms and stairways are among the highest-risk areas for falls.

What to do:

• Install grab bars near toilets and inside showers
• Add non-slip mats to tubs and showers
• Ensure stair rails are secure on both sides
• Keep stairs well-lit and free of objects

Small modifications can make a significant difference.

Step 5: Strengthen Balance, Mobility, and Awareness

Physical strength and awareness play a key role in fall prevention.

What to do:

• Encourage gentle exercises that improve balance and leg strength
• Schedule regular vision and hearing checks
• Review medications that may cause dizziness or drowsiness

Prevention is most effective when physical and environmental factors work together.

I love working out and I just started as a caregiver for someone with muscular dystrophy and I was wondering if there are any exercises people would recommend to help get some more functional strength and make it a little easier to move her around and stuff like that. I was thinking stuff like cable rows and things to mainly strengthen the upper back. I’m also looking for more like functional workouts but I’m not sure what yall think. I would love to hear some suggestions even if it’s just like simple stuff.

Hi everyone,
I’m curious to hear from others about something I’ve noticed while caring for my mother. She is around 200 pounds and I am quite small, it is difficult for me to help her move around. Do you ever find it hard to help your loved ones change positions in bed, like rolling over or getting comfortable? If so, how do you usually deal with it?

Hello All,

I’m planning to book a home healthcare visit for my elderly parent (for services like wound dressing or catheter care).

What are the most important questions I should ask a provider before booking, to ensure safety, hygiene, and quality care?

Looking for general guidance and personal experiences.

I work at an assisted living and I cry every shift. I’m not even working many days, but each shift is 12 hours. I don’t remember the last time I haven’t spent my break crying and then come home to cry some more. I’ve been working for 5 months but this only started recently. I feel weak. Does it get better? Is this a normal experience for caregivers? I don’t want to quit because it’s conveniently close to home and I don’t have a stable mode of transport.

I'm a 54-year-old man with OCD and interpretive cues, which has compromised all my relationships, both romantic and professional. I don't remember ever being happy. For the past 10 years, I've dedicated myself to being a caregiver, first to my mother and then to my father, who passed away on December 21st. I'm emotionally devastated by his death. I also live in a rented house and don't have a job to pay the bills; I'm so worried. Right now, I have no income and no one to talk to; I spend my days at home staring at the wall. Sometimes I'm happy to think that if I died, I'd stop suffering. I find existence like this too much of a burden. If any of you can, please help me; I don't know what to do anymore.