Hello everyone,

I'm in a situation I didn't expect and I'm not sure how to handle it.

A few days ago, a coworker and I were talking about salary raises and the cost of living and I didn't really see a reason to hide it, so I told them. They shared their salary too, and we realized there's a pretty big difference even though we do almost the same job. 

I didn't think much of it at the time. I wasn't trying to cause problems or encourage anyone to complain so I just answered honestly.
Well, word got around the office.

now my manager called me into their office and said HR wants to meet with me. They didn't say anything but they did mention that talking about pay can "cause problems" in the workplace.
Now I'm stressed because I honestly wasn't trying to start drama or get anyone upset. It was just a conversation between coworkers.
I've read that employees can discuss their salaries, but I don't know if that's true everywhere or how I should handle the meeting with HR.

Has anyone else been in a similar situation? How did you handle the HR conversation, and is there anything I should or shouldn't say during the meeting?

Thanks in advance

I noticed things going south in april like minor budget pauses, manager going quiet about the next appraisal cycle etc. Everyone around me said i was being paranoid. Maybe I was but i decided if i was right, i wasn't going to start from zero on day one.

So for 3 months, my 2nd job has been my jobhunt: fixed my resume properly for the first time in 6 years. rebuilt my linkedin profile. Reconnected with old coworkers before i needed anything from them, just compliments on what they’ve been sharing. Started interviewing casually in june, saved upto 4 months of living expenses.

Yesterday morning: "your role has been impacted."

And the strangest thing happened. and i was not scared - i read the email twice, shut the laptop, and went for a walk because i already had two final rounds scheduled this week and a recruiter waiting on my availability for a third.

i'm not posting this to humblebrag. its that anything can happen anytime. if you see telltale signs, start prepping.

bye, peace out.

Hi,

I (23F) ended up crying on a Teams call in front of my associate today and I’m so embarrassed.

I’ve been finding the job (consulting) extremely difficult. I’ve been working 12 hour days and skipping lunch recently (which I know is what you get with this job, so can’t really complain, but I just feel so drained and exhausted).

I keep making silly mistakes and I just constantly don’t understand the work. I feel stressed out all the time and I just hate every minute. I keep catastrophising e.g. if people don’t respond to my messages or if I’m not invited to a call - I must be doing an awful job but I already feel like I’m on the verge of collapse, I just don’t know what to do. Can’t understand why they hired me, anyone in my coworkers’ position would prefer another analyst and overall I just feel like I’m a massive drain on my teams.

Today was particularly bad. My direct associate was extremely busy so I said I’d try and pick up the work. Well, long story short, I did such a shit job that I might as well just not have turned up in the first place. Spent hours doing a shit piece of analysis which no one looked at anyway, fucked it all up and have almost nothing to show for it. And it’s only going to get worse tomorrow. I feel like I can’t complain because I’m the most junior person - I’ve got the relatively easiest work, but still can’t fucking do it, it’s pathetic.

I basically ended up crying on a Teams call. Probably the most embarrassing moment I’ve ever had at work. He was very nice about it, but I feel absolutely awful. I don’t know how jt feels to have a junior person almost sobbing at you but probably not great. I feel like I’m just going to be seen as a stupid little girl who can’t control her own emotions, coming off as really unprofessional and giving a worse impression than I already have.

How common is this sort of thing? And what can I do to try and make it better? I feel like I’m in such a bad place that I can’t think logically about it.

I’m worried they’ll kick me out the project or just stop giving me opportunities, because why on earth would they want to work with me. Any advice appreciated, the more honest the better, because I need to sort this out. Thank you!

Hey everyone, looking for some advice from people who’ve navigated sensitive salary and management conversations before.

Up until recently, I was in a role that was technically at the same band/level as a manager in terms of scope, but I didn't have direct reports. A little while ago, I officially stepped into a Manager role. This brought on direct management of a team of 6, along with all the standard people leadership responsibilities—one-on-ones, performance reviews, admin, and general HR overhead with my same previous responsibilities.
The issue:
When this transition was discussed, I was explicitly promised a double-digit percentage salary increase to reflect the new people management responsibilities and expanded scope.
Fast forward to the actual offer/adjustment: the promised double-digit increase never materialized. Instead, I've taken on a significantly heavier workload and the added stress of managing a team for essentially the same pay I was making before.
Where I'm at right now:
Naturally, this situation has completely demotivated me. I feel like the goalposts were moved after I took on the extra responsibility.
I have a 1-on-1 coming up with my manager, and I really want to address this head-on. My main question is: How candid and honest can I actually be about how demotivated this has made me?
Is expressing genuine demotivation professional, or does it sound too emotional/ultimatum-adjacent in a corporate setting? How can I frame the conversation so that I make my point crystal clear without damaging my relationship with my manager or coming across as unproductive?
TL;DR: Moved into a manager role leading a team of 6. Was promised a double-digit bump in pay, but didn't get it. I want to tell my boss how demotivated this has made me, but I'm unsure of the best way to frame the conversation professionally. Any advice or scripts would be appreciated!

For years I was the reliable one at work. Always available, always willing. And somehow I kept getting passed over while people who did less got promoted.

A mentor finally gave me the feedback I needed: "You sound like support staff, not a leader. You're describing your availability, not your impact."

So I changed how I communicated.

Before:

• "Happy to help with that"
• "I can take a look"
• "Let me know if you need anything"

After:

• "I handled this — summary below"
• "Found the issue and fixed it"
• "Done. Result was X"

Same work. Different framing.

Within six months my manager told me I'd "really stepped up." Nothing about my actual output changed, just how I talked about it.

Visibility isn't bragging. It's just not hiding.

I’ll try to keep this short but I currently work as a senior med tech in a microbiology lab at a small regional hospital. I am hired full time at 32 hours but I’m unable to get the extra 8 hours to make it 40. I have been working 40 since we’ve been understaffed but we recently hired a new part timer and I’m predicting that my hours go back down to 32. My hourly rate is $32.32 with an upcoming COL raise in October making it $33.20.

I am about to receive a job offer this week for another senior micro tech position at a reference lab offering between $39-43 per hour, and I plan on asking for the higher end of that range for reasons I won’t go into detail here. But even if they offer on the low end that is a significant increase in my pay. They also mentioned that I would not have to work weekends (I work every third weekend). It seems like a no brainer to take this offer but here are my hesitations:

-longer commute into the city (going from 20 min at my current job to 30-45 depending on traffic)
-very outdated LIS system with no mouse functionality (one of those old school looking black screens with the white text)
-no MALDI for bacterial ID, reliance on biochemical methods and VITEK
-supervisor who just started working there 1 month ago
-2 employees out on FMLA and one employee coming back from disability
-higher responsibilities expected of me to help supervisor
-all culture workups are done on paper and not in the computer

I genuinely love my job right now and I love my coworkers. I work in such a positive and caring environment that never stresses me out. I never dread going into work.

The only reason I would take this new job is because of the pay increase. My base salary is around $57,000 and this new job would be $81,000 at the minimum. Thats a huge difference.

Any advice?

Offered a management role — more money, but trading the technical work I like for meetings and people management. Turned it down to stay IC. My manager was supportive; a couple coworkers seemed confused, like I'd passed up the "obvious" move. Now I'm wondering if I talked myself out of growth or actually know what I want. Anyone who's turned down a promotion — did it feel right a year later, or regret it?

Long story short, I worked in Europe for about three years before moving back to the U.S. When I came back, I intentionally accepted a lower-level remote marketing role. I knew it wasn’t a promotion, but I was completely burned out and honestly just wanted something with better work-life balance.

Fast forward a little over two years, and things have changed.

I was moved onto a new team a few months ago that doesn’t really align with my career goals. My manager has been pretty disengaged. I’ve asked several times about development opportunities and how I can grow, but the conversations usually get deflected or never go anywhere. She’s even changed or forgotten our 1:1s more than once, and I’ve found myself sitting on the call waiting for 10 minutes before realizing she’s not coming. It’s little things, but together they make me feel like I’m not a priority.

I’ve been in marketing for 10 years, have worked for well-known brands, and genuinely work hard. I’m not expecting constant praise, but I do want to feel like my manager cares about my development. Right now, I just don’t feel seen.

I’ve started applying elsewhere, mostly because I don’t see this changing. The catch is that remote jobs are harder to find, and the market isn’t exactly great. I’m also wary of companies advertising “remote” only to announce a return-to-office policy a year later.

On the flip side, some of the roles I’m interviewing for are 40–50% higher in pay and have titles that are much more aligned with where I want my career to go. I’ve actually been making it to final-round interviews, so there seems to be interest.

Part of me thinks I should just ride it out because I already job-hopped once when I moved back from Europe. Another part of me feels like staying somewhere with a manager who isn’t invested in me is just wasting time.

Has anyone else been in a similar situation? Did you stay because the flexibility was worth it, or leave once you realized the role wasn’t helping your career anymore? I’m curious how others would approach this.

Not the dramatic firing stories — more the quiet ones, where someone basically told you to write your own resignation to make it look voluntary. Did you take the deal? Did it change anything for you afterward (references, unemployment benefits, how you felt about it), or did you wish you'd pushed back and made them actually fire you?

Should I do online courses and pay or are there better alternatives? Thank you!

I have been accepted to a part time upgrading course. This is unrelated to work. It’s something I have an interest in. I have the funds to pay for it and cover the reduced income.

I have informed my employer of this course opportunity and ask if I could take a temporary reduction in workload hours.

They have not given the automatic no which is a good sign. They want to know how I will manage work and the PT course, essentially how will I not slack and get the work done.

I want to reassure them. What are some points I could make?

I am a very anxious person and want to do this correctly. Are there things I could concretely mention other than “trust me I’ll get the work completed”? Because that won’t go well.

Hi guys. I just turned 26 (f) in la and I feel like I’m behind, the job markets difficult.
I have my kinesiology degree BS but it’s no help and I don’t want to be in debt or want to be a PT (I know).
I’ve had experience in non profit Boys and girls club as a program leader (low pay, rlly tough dealing with kids)
& direct care worker in helping kids in the system with DCFS.
I transferred and started working with my old director to a boujee rehab and detox place for substance abuse-short staffed, promises of raises, long commute, yet I was believing in my old director, but ultimately the business cares all about money, beautiful views but no morals. Missed 3 consecutive pay checks in a row, ppl who were there before me quit.. then they just announced yesterday they were closing.. while I’m still working and unpaid…

Anyways I have my teas exam trying to get into DMI program this September but who knows if I get in..

What is anyone’s advice in trying/ going into another field. I was thinking maybe blue collar but it takes a long time. Or what I should do????sighhhhh

I have been at my job for a year and some change. I’m a stainless steel TIG welder and I only make $21 an hour, whereas the guys I work with in the same position are making $30+ an hour. They are supposed to do level up programs every 6 months which would increase pay, but ever since I’ve started my job, they’ve been cancelled until next time. I’m a pretty patient person, but it’s getting tiring. I’m not the only person that feels this way at my job. I’m hesitant to bring it up as it could fire back on me, and I’ve been considering looking elsewhere. Any advice is appreciated

Dear all,

I'm 44 years old, studied education and social sciences and I work in int'l cooperation & development since 15 years, since a couple of years as a project manager.

And I've always been unhappy with it. I'm longing for building up expertise in a specific field, becoming an expert in something that I'm interested in. I have some fields that make me feel excited and alive, such as education, IT (coding, AI), psychology / mental health (I actually finished a part-time B.Sc. in psychology last year), and some more. I'd even be ready to stay in my current area - if I would only be able to work much more academically, topic-related, learning, and so on.

Because I'm married and have a little, and my partner doesn't earn too much, I basically have no financial legroom - we're actually moving into a cheaper apartment these days because we aren't able to cover the current one's rent anymore.

I'm really wondering how to go on from here. While I'd love to do a PhD, I don't think that's possible time-wise; sometimes I start with some edX courses on data science and AI, because digital mental health is really an area that I'd like to get into. But after 1-2 days I lose the hope that this will actually work out - will a few only courses be enough for a career pivot? Are there actually positions for me? And nevertheless no position after a career pivot will pay as much as I currently earn.

So I basically feel very stuck since 1-2 years and I don't see any way to maneuvre this.

I was wondering if others are/were in the same situation, and how you handled this. Plus, I was wondering if some kind of coaching could be helpful here; I'm reluctant to book any random coach with large fees that I'm nevertheless not able to pay these days.

I'll be thankful for any thoughts on this. Thank you!

Dizney

My names AJ Im 21, I live in Washington dropped out of a Tacoma Art college about a month ago in the last semester before I was going to graduate because I realized that this career just wasn't for me. I was a Motion design/Animation Major. My school did a lot of sketchy things during teaching me about my degree like not having good connections for jobs, intern/externships, teaching us very basic things, accepting ai art assignments. I could go on.
Also with the replacement of creatives with AI it seems like Im kind of digging myself into a hole if I graduated from that school. I didn't want to be an extrovert in an introvert dominated field either, I wasn't friends with a lot of the students that were there because we just had different outlooks on life. I liked to go out a lot, none of them really wanted to hang out. Even out of all the preparation the portfolio, the connections, getting a degree, everything I still had a hunch that I would have been jobless even with being the one with the most stacked resume of my class (most of them have never had a job) and a VERY helpful internship.

Im thinking of switching to be a communications major and Im applying to Seattle U for their Masters art leadership program and UW for their strategic communications program. REALLY my goal is that I want to be working in a job where Im working with a lot of people, I want to be financially stable. Am I making the right move here? Is it better financially to get a masters in art leaderships or a bachelors in communications or does it only matter really what I want to do at the end of the day.

Hello all,

I am in the fortunate position of having two excellent offers. Unfortunately, I don’t know which to pick. There are many factors, but to cut to the chase job 1 has a good work life balance with a decent salary where I know the people and the system. Job 2 has a not so good work life balance but much higher salary. Job 2 is a new role at an established location, but I would be the first in this role which introduces some uncertainty. By the way I estimate it, and i easily could be wrong, job 2 is double the work and double the salary of job 1. I have a 6 mo old and an amazing wife- I don’t want to miss too much, but job 2 would allow for a much better lifestyle and likely generation wealth. Notably, job 1 salary is more than enough to live, pay off debt (student loans, net worth is like -200k), get a house, and save for retirement comfortably.

Which would you pick? Thanks in advance for any insight, I am really struggling to decide.

I work assembly at a private company that makes autonomous vehicles and was hired 4 months ago. I have a background in engineering but my degree is in business econ. My job pays fairly well for a first job in California (80k). That being said, I've been pretty unhappy recently.

Due to my hobbies, I thought a job where I get to tinker and make things would be perfect, but it turns out it makes me not want to do any of my hobbies once I'm done. My body hurts, hands hurt, and I'm usually exhausted after work.

The bigger issue is our current location already gets quite warm and humid, and we are moving to a new place that has no AC and the ambient temp and humidity hover in the 80s. I absolutely don't function well in the heat and it takes a huge toll on me. This move and change of work environment was not mentioned when I was hired.

I've stuck it out for 4 months but I'm finding that every day I leave miserable, exhausted, and I don't enjoy anything outside of work because I am just dead recovering.

24 M.
I have had a crazy run to the top at my company. I started as a basic laborer in highschool and my company ended up footing the bill for me to go to a 4 year university on a 3 year loan that I pay off by staying with them. I am currently 26 months in and I am ready to move on. They appointed me the plant manager of their smallest manufacturing location and I have helped increase production by over a million pounds each year since I’ve taken over. But it is draining. Always being on call, dealing with limited budgets, working with had-me down equipment, and a bare minimum hiring/training mindset. I don’t even have a chance to micro manage anything because we simply don’t have the man power to do the jobs that other managers at my company get to delegate, that I end up having to pick up the slack for. I am struggling because I have always believed my skillset is better suited for sales and I had voiced throughout my internship that I had a strong desire to be in sales. As I get closer to the end of my deal, I have started putting myself out there and applied at some companies that I have familiarity with or companies that can fulfill much more financially. I have an interview for a territory sales interview with a global giant in industrial capital equipment. The base is only about 5k lower than what I am making currently (I have no bonus compensation in my current role). If I meet the commission plan year one, it’d be a 50k raise. I know what career path I am on with my current employer and it honestly just seems like what I doing now, just on a bigger scale and it definitely wouldn’t come with 50k raise. I know that sales takes patience and resilience, but I am a grinder and know I will have no issues getting up in the morning and getting the reps in and taking control of my own domain. With that being said. Are there any blind spots that I may not be aware of or things that I may not be thinking hard enough about before taking the offer? (I am fairly confident I will get the offer).

Hi everyone

I’m looking for some outside perspective on a situation that I’m probably overthinking.

A while ago, I did an internship at a large multinational company. It was my first real experience in a corporate environment, and I was there for several months.

During the internship, I made some mistakes related to certain internal monitoring and control tasks. I acknowledge that I made mistakes, although they were not constant throughout the whole internship. Towards the end, I had the impression that there might be a possibility of continuing with the company, but I was ultimately told in a very short meeting that I would not be renewed. The reason given was essentially related to the errors in those monitoring activities.

What made the situation particularly difficult for me was that the replacement vacancy was posted very shortly afterwards, and some people who had started after me were retained. I left feeling like I had failed professionally and that I had potentially damaged my chances of ever returning to that company or even that industrial area.

Since then, I’ve had other experiences and have developed professionally in different environments. I feel that I have grown considerably since that internship. However, I still haven’t managed to properly return to a corporate role, which has made the whole experience feel much bigger in my head than it probably should.

Now, a new vacancy has opened in the same general area and apparently with the same team that decided not to renew me. The role is relevant to my previous experience, although there is also a language requirement that I may not fully meet.

The company already has my CV, and I applied for another position there relatively recently without progressing. Someone I know from university now works in Talent Acquisition at the company and is aware, at least vaguely, of what happened during my previous internship.

So my question is: would you apply anyway, or would you just leave it and wait for other opportunities?

Part of me thinks that I have nothing to lose by applying. Another part of me thinks that if the same team already decided not to renew me and has seen my CV again recently, they probably know who I am and simply don't want to hire me back.

I’m also unsure whether applying would make me look desperate or whether it would simply be a normal professional application. I would obviously be prepared to explain what I learned from the previous experience and how I’ve developed since then, but I don't know whether employers generally give people a second chance after deciding not to renew them.

Would you apply in this situation? And do you think a previous non-renewal for performance-related reasons permanently damages your chances of being considered again?

This happened when I was working as the sole marketing guy for a mid-sized company. For over a year, I was managing all our ad campaigns, website projects, and social channels alone.

Every performance review, I asked for a salary adjustment. I brought market data showing I was paid way below average for the workload I was carrying. Every single time, my manager gave me the exact same line: money is super tight right now, maybe next fiscal year when performance improves.

So I stopped asking and quietly interviewed elsewhere. Got a solid offer at a much better company and handed in my two week notice on a Tuesday morning.

Two hours later, my manager calls me into a meeting room. Suddenly, the money that did not exist for 18 months magically appeared. He offered a 10% raise on the spot and promised to hire an agency to take some work off my plate.

I just stared at him and asked, if the budget was there all along, why did I have to quit for you to pay me what I am worth? He had no answer.

I turned down the counteroffer and left. It showed me everything I needed to know. Why do management teams wait until a two week notice to finally give people what they deserve?