Hi all. I've been exploring my gender identity for a little while now. I've known for the longest time that I was different in some way, but could never quite... Explain it. For reference, I'm a 38 yo male. I've always had this desire to be feminine. I always thought maybe it was just a sexual thing, a kink, that I was a crossdresser to get my rocks off... And that was all. However, I started openly dressing femininely a while back, and it's funny... It's like I gained a piece of me that I was always missing. Any kind of "sexual" outlets involving it have basically dissolved and I dress femininely and go out openly. I feel like this is who I am inside, and it feels really good.

This, of course, has also made me question whether I'm Transgender or not. I mean, if you look at the "Trans" umbrella, of course it is sort of a huge encompassing label, involving many identities. However, as much as I love this other side of myself, I don't really necessarily want to abandon my entire masculine-aligned self, and tear down everything that I've built as I am. I'm married, with a kid, and the thought of that completely disappearing and transitioning to someone who identifies as a female, as awesome as that sounds, is also kind of scary, because I don't know like I said given everything that I've mentioned. It could be possible that I have more than one gender identity. I also see all these GORGEOUS trans ladies who have transitioned and look absolutely stunning and I sometimes think, "god, I wish I could look like that!"

This other side of me, my feminine-aligned nonbinary/transfem side, and my masculine gender identity. I like to call my other side "Brianne" since it is the female version of my name.

I feel like many Trans folks, who feel deeply about the fact that they are the opposite gender, seems to be very prevalent. But, then again, all people are different and this is my own journey.

Could it be possible that I'm bigender?

So I was in the bath and had an epiphany that does me no good but made me smile. It shouldn't have but I couldn't not share it.

I got a job as security at a hospital and was told I'd get one role but then found out the hospital is being relocated and the role I'm logged as is apart of that new area. So.... i got placed in the mental heath ward!!! The last place anyone wanted to hang out got 12 hours a day 4 days a week.

They also have the shifts made up 2 days and 2 nights and then 4 days off before repeating which is killing me slowly. My poor brain can't tell what day of the week it is anymore.

But while in the bath I was reminiscing about how they were forming (forcing into hospital custody care) someone homicidal...

And the place is already full of people who generally don't wana be there, but let's just spread a little person who wants to kill others into the mix. Why not.

My brain in the bath want to that meme of the factory and the cats going to the *blank* factory. And I realized I'm the cat going "well i hope it's not crazy at work today" *works at the crazy factory*

And I just couldn't not laugh a little to myself.

I am mid-30s amab who recently discovered the term bigender. I've crossdressing for decades, but that label never felt quite right because presenting female always felt like I was affirming a part of myself and not becoming an alter-ego. Since I learned the term, I've been lurking on this sub and trying to learn as much as I can and how it applies to my life. I'm not 100% sure, but I think that I'm bigender male and female.

By most measures, my life is great. I have a good job, supportive wife (the only person I've told about my identity irl) and a great kid. By most measures, I'm very happy. But I've been struggling how to figure out my gender identity and express my female side as part of my life.

In an attempt to explore more, I tried going to therapy about a month ago. I worked with my insurance to find someone who was a LGBTQ allied therapist who was supposed to understand non-binary. When I went my experience was bad. The therapist didn't understand bigender or why I would have these feelings without wanting to do a medical transition and kept trying to tie gender identity to trauma. After acknowledging that we weren't a good match, the therapist wanted to do another appointment but I declined.

I wanted to get the community's advice on ways to explore my identity and how I express it in my life. Should I try therapy again? Are there other things I should be doing to figure things out? I'm interested in your experiences, especially other people in a similar life stage. Thanks.

Hi, first of all, I'm using a translator; I speak Spanish. And now for what's important, I am amab and for as long as I can remember I always felt that there was more to being a "boy", also I never really felt like I belonged to any group (not just talking about the boys/girls division). From a young age, people often mistook me for a girl, and even during puberty, they still mistook me for a boy because of my voice (countertenor, lol). Even now, at 18, they still mistake me for a girl, which I actually like. I really like being treated as a boy or a girl, no matter what, and as I said before, I never felt like I belonged to anything, so with age I became a bit rebellious and sarcastic, I believed that this rebellious streak was the reason I liked being treated in a feminine way by other people. I always had many androgynous traits, both physically and mentally.

And it was actually because of these latter experiences that I realized I was bigender, when I was doing research related to neuroscience I realized that it's not normal for it to seem natural to be Perceived as another gender, no matter how "rebellious" you are. And well, after about a week and a half devouring information and testimonies, I had to accept that I am indeed bigender. As a bonus, I also realized I'm bisexual. That was about a month and a half ago, so I celebrated my first Pride (although I don't have any personal friends, so it was a private bi-celebration).

After that brief introduction to my story, the real question is, how did they begin to live with being bigender? I apologize if I'm not finding the right words, but I mean, what actions did they begin to take to be happier after discovering their identity? In my case, I honestly went into a period of denial for a while, I was literally researching how the brain works and I locked myself in the closet, but I know that somehow I always knew. I'm a somewhat eccentric person, and I know my way of expressing my femininity and masculinity is too. After my brief denial, I started laughing at how absurd my situation was, and I also started, I also started joking that it was like light (I study physics and I like the study of light, and it just so happens that light has two natures at the same time, so it became my "icon" so to speak).

I apologize if I'm going off on a tangent, but like many of you here, I probably have no one to talk to about this, so please tell me about your own experiences living as a proud bigender. I'll probably soon need a lot of advice on how to move from a more mental realm to the physical world.

So I am an older bigender (male presenting). I still have my beard, but I spend 75% of my time male and 25% female presenting. I have so many days that I doubt myself and my sexuality because I don't know how anyone can see me as anything but a guy who likes to wear women's clothes. But that is not it. It's taken me most of my life to realise that I am who I am, and I'm not making this up. Help.

I’m trying to find a mastectomy shop in my area to find my perfect bra size, and I can’t find any around me. All google shows is boutique and lingerie stores, but none dedicated to mastectomy. There is a lingerie store near me that does bra fittings, but I don’t know how they would be with mastectomy bra fittings, cause the one I ordered is a bit too tight. How can you tell which shop does it?

So I am kinda trying to figure out who I am becuase iv identified as a trans man for like 6 years now but I recently have been talking to a friend and explained my whole experience and was curious she was correct,

So my whole life iv felt like iv been like sort of a kids in a trench coat sort of situation and by that i mean iv recently realised I feel like theres two souls both being trans but I ones a girl and ones a boy, and im sitting here worried "oh god im some sick freak like a chaser or somthing" but im not. Like theres no sexual romantic anything attached to it I just feel like my brain has a trans girl and a trans boy in it and im just going about life trying to figure it out

I'm not sure if this is like a think becuase of the trans girl part specifically, like im afab so I never will experience the trans girl side in the way im wanting but after getting to know so many trans women in the last few years I really have realised that I relate to them on so many levels and it feels like a sisterhood except I look like a dude most of the time.

So I dont know if there is a word for it or if im just crazy so lmk I need your help!!!!

Hi! I made bigender moth. Colors are a bit different but overall it looks cute

Throughout my whole medical transition I'd been very happy with the masculinisation, but simultaneously missed being the pretty girl I was before. Prior to transition, I also bounced back in forth in presentation a bit. During and post transition, I had interpreted the female part inside me as me just missing the fun that I had prettying myself up. I enjoyed presenting and being treated as either gender, unless I was specifically trying to present as male pre-T and got misgendered. I'd always loved the concept of a female with a male voice, a man with very pretty hair. A little juxtaposition. Unironically came to ID as a cuntboy. I tried to create my own gender spectrum/compass to describe how I was feeling at one point. A guy who was a girl but was distinctly *not* a femboy. I tried various nonbinary labels over time, but none of them felt right because I was not and am not nonbinary.

Being enamoured when I would see a multigender person with a presentation similar to my ideal consistiently over the years might've meant something.

When I was presenting female I had straight-across bangs cut. I'm not sure I'm willing (or ready? maybe?) to do that again for real, but I miss the look, so I am considering buying one of those fake-bangs pieces. Or attempting to create my own with some of my own hair- I have so so much of it and already have an undercut to help manage it. Very familiar with cutting my own hair, so I think I could make it fairly easily.

Feel awkward about posting multiple times in a short timeframe, but I'd like to think more activity on the sub is something we want here.

I went back to the stores to keep experimenting. Changed a few details compared to the first time:

• I trimmed my hands and my arms apart from the chest and beard. I was unsure to do this, and it still feels a bit weird (I've had hair there for a REALLY long time), but i look SO MUCH more feminine thanks to this.
• Spent a really long time making my hair lol, but it was so perfect today, i don't think I've ever styled my hair so well in the past. xD
• I made sure to take some feminine pants to combine with the tops!

The pants were an L size, but they were actually a bit too large for me! This is a *good* thing, as I was a bit scared I wouldn't fit in them. And these pants are a bit baggy anyways, they look good even if the size is a bit larger than ideal. I don't like that the pockets are so down the leg, I'm used to them being on the upper thigh area.

The first picture is the one i took the last so we're skipping it for now.

As for the top on the second and third pictures, I liked it! It was cute and comfy, honestly it felt quite natural to wear it. It was asymmetrical, with the left side being longer than the right one for some reason. I've never tried clothes that do it but I don't dislike it, I'm just not used to it. The sleeves are so cute. My shoulders look a bit too wide, but it depends on the posture (I'm attatching both pictures to show the difference the posture makes).

I have mixed feelings about the 4th picture. First of all, I can't really tell if it's a dress or a top LOL. Like, am I supposed to wear pants with it, or nothing at all? Also, this was an XXL size. It was definitely too big for me. I always take the largest sizes because I'm tall and wide for woman standards, but of course an XXL size also supposes you have big breasts, which is not the case for me. So yeah, it was falling down and was pretty uncomfortable. At least I'm happy to see that XXL clothes are a thing.

Now, as for the first picture... At first it was a bit weird, I didn't really understand the shape of the garment. I'm not even sure sleeves were the correct size for my body, lol. So i was a bit confused, until I lifted my arm. Oh. My. God. The entire top lifted and my tummy became visible??? I swear to god this did something to my brain that I am still not able to put into words. It didn't even happen because it was too small for me or anything, like, the cloth is designed *so that* this happens. I am so obsessed with it, you can't even imagine. Idk if this is what you mean by 'feeling girl things' but holy shit, I couldn't stop smiling and feeling so happy that I almost wanted to cry. I'm not used to showing this much skin. It made me feel SO pretty, more than ever in my entire life.

I left the store in disbelief and I'm still trying to process it as I type this, lol.

On another store I also tried a skirt and a top, sportswear. Unfortunately they were both extremely small (even though I tried the largest sizes available) and there was no way I could wear either. A bummer because they were super cute, but there will be more chances, hopefully. :)

So yeah, overwall it went much better than I expected. My main concerns right now are:

• All clothes that I am trying are white or a close-to-white color. I love white in girl outfits, looks so feminine to me, but I'm scared I will get bored of the style if I keep it so monotonous. I should make an effort and see if there are other styles that I could like. I have tried black clothes in the past (like goth style) but I wasn't a fan.
• I'm a bit worried that I might just get used to wearing these clothes in the future and it wil stop being exciting. I mean, this is kind of bound to happen, right? But considering women's clothes are more unconvenient than men's... Idk, I'm just scared I'll ever go back to men's clothes just for convenience, lol.

For the past while now, I have had a mustache and goatee. I like how I look with this, I'm quite comfortable with it, but there's the conflicting voice in my head that wishes I could magically flip between having this facial hair and having a clean shaven face.

Ignoring gender/expression, I don't think I would like my face as much without my facial hair. And it feels really good for the male part of me. So I don't see myself actually shaving at all for the forseeable future. Plus, I hate being clean-shaven. The smooth freshly-shaven feeling that people seem to love is not something I enjoy. I always shave with clippers with no guard cause I hate that feeling. And the maintenance of being clean-shaven too... I'm too lazy.

But my face is quite masculine. Surprisingly so, seeing how I couldn't pass as male no matter how hard I tried prior to medical transition. I kind of minmaxxed transition and did everything as efficiently hormonally as I could, and I believe it paid off lol. Simultaneously wonderful, and a shame I don't also have access to the face I had prior.

My eyebrows are another thing on my mind (almost literally, lol). I have always had thick and bold eyebrows. I used to pluck them quite heavily, but that didn't change how thick they were. I've started grooming/shaping the inner ends in the middle. I might slowly get to shaping them a little more, then a little more, and try to get a bit closer to a middle ground.

I guess I am now wondering how others may approach this balance? Or what your goal would be? My ideal would be generally male presenting, people would decide I was male if they picked one or the other, but I would also look weirdly like a pretty girl for a guy.

Particularly interested in how people handle facial hair.

"Maybe I'm not," I say, as I sew myself a custom mini dress on my sewing machine like a normal cis amab. Lol.

I'm man and nonbinary

Hi everyone! Hope you're having a good day.

3 months ago I've posted first update of my situation about crushing my best friend (https://www.reddit.com/r/bigender/comments/1t09hqx/update_on_my_situation_help_need_again/)

Things haven't changed a lot but I still need to vent this whole process.

Since that mountain trip Tama has been gradually getting back to previous behaviour: she got back to hugging me with with sincerity, our talks were getting on, we were getting along just that good as before.

It has been quite clarified that Evan and Tama are NOT a couple, they're good friends and that's all. They have their own lives and they doesn't do things couples do. It have not went further.

I was still really trying to get closer to her, but I was bouncing off artificial barriers. I've had nights I was just laying on the bed with head full of thoughts about how it could be or what if it won't ever happen or a dozen of other fatalistic thoughts. I must admit most of them are about society and families. I still haven't come out to my family and I won't do it in the nearest future and I'm still thinking about "what people would say".

Unfortunately I also still don't know if Tama is straight, that would make things much more clear and available!

Recently she told close friends (maybe 5 people including me) that she has the house to herself for a week and we can come by for a night or two. So I came. Alone.

We were doing many fun things including electronics, programming, serious talking, fooling around, music and watching films. That night we were sitting on a couch watching Hazbin Hotel by 3:00 and I suddenly felt like I really want to rest my head on her shoulder. And thinking about the April trip I was literally thinking about it for half an hour. I've done this finally. For a short time but I did. And she did not react in ANY way. She didn't flinch, push me off, told me anything just nothing. And when the episode finished I've said something stupid in that context: "So, are we going further?" And she looked at me with confusion until she realized I was talking about next episode. We didn't watch another and both went to sleep (in separate beds to be clear).

Next day I woke up at 10:00 and started to clean the mess around me, then took the laptop to do a few things to work.

She got up at 13:00. We ate a breakfast and tried to do some more things f.e. repairing her laptop. I left around 17:00 and since I will have house to myself in around 3 weeks I invited her back. I will really be trying to make something special, not like for a date but just something to... I don't know, still thinking about it.

I am trying to apply your advises and even if slowly, it is going further at least. So if the question is "Am I feeling good" I would say "Partially, I'm still pretty alone, but it's on a good way".

Sorry for a rant like that, it isn't even context-rich. I just need to vent things like this and since the only person I trust is the object of this vent I cannot do it.

Thank you all!

been exploring my gender identity, wanted to express it in art, but drawing myself the way I look at the moment felt uncomfortable (hyper femenine), drawing myself the way I wanna look (more masculine) felt unfair, so drew this androgynous creature.

happy about idea on the eyes combining two genders, what do you think? :)

P.S.: follow my freshly created insta account, link in bio. If you liked my art, I'll be posting more of queer art there! Thanks for suppor (⁠｡⁠･⁠ω⁠･⁠｡⁠)⁠ﾉ⁠♡

Is it normal to have moments of regret or gender dysphoria and then the next week feel totally fine?

I've started shaving my legs and my arms, anything the public can see and also shaved my beard off. And every now and then I'll feel how smooth my legs are and get like a tinge of dysphoria, and then by the next morning I'll be totally fine and enjoying how smooth my legs feel.

I just want to know if this is normal or not

Hi I wanted some advice. In middle school due to some medicine I was taking during puberty breaks started to form. At first it felt right and still does but back then I became ashamed due to heavy bullying. Me and my wife talked since it started coming to the forefront of my mind due to our new baby coming into the world in recent months. I was wondering if taking estrogen without any type of testosterone suppressant would help. I know my genetics kean towards it as no female in my immediate family ends up with anything less than a g cup by 14. If I were to take estrogen to make me more physically me would I need a testosterone suppressant or not?

Any and all advice is very appreciated.

Where are some spaces that it's safe to exist as a "non-passing" bigender or trans person in Atlanta?

Specifically, I'm looking for things like internet cafes or similar spots where I can go during the day to do remote work. Doesn't need to be an exclusively queer space; hell, an accepting hackerspace will suffice.