r/ambien • u/kharmatika • 20h ago
In defense, apparently, of planet fitness?
I recently joined back up to planet fitness and started working out again. last night I had my PW a little too late, got home, took my ambien. woke up toy Girlchat discord being like “etf is this” and i had no recollection of what they were replying to. but here is what I wrote, allegedly, at 11:43 pm:
”I do not acknowledge the lunk alarm.
I do not believe that any man nor woman nor great warrior of genderqueer has hear the Angelous bell of the lunk alarm.
It haunts us. It hangs, a spectre over all our toilings, a voice in the garden, espousing temperance in self improvement, caution in movement.
And yet. Who among us has borne witness to the tolling of the lunk alarm? Who has heard or seen this great beast awaken? Not I. Surely not I, though there in the free weights section lurk demons, scoundrels and ruffians who would seek to set off this grand series of events. By their gruntings and selfies we are shown.
What if it’s all an illusion. The alarm, Sauron’s dead eye in its case of plastic, ever waiting to illuminate. What if we could free it but choose not to?
Who weaves these tales of heroes being dashed to ruin by the alarm? Is it the heroes? Never. Is it the company? Certainly not. It is always, and so shall it ever be, your friend Kevin. Kevin who you cannot tell to be joking when he makes Trump references. Kevin the Victim. Kevin who says these things and he says them to the internet and we pick them up and fly with them away to all corners of the internet, to spread his poison.
Nay, friends, fear not the lunk alarm. come delight in $15/mon membership and 24 hour availability. We shall smite all demons.”
I do actually feel like people prevaricate too much on the sort of annoying culture there (especiall the lunk alarm) and not as much on how it’s an affordable, okay gym for casual gym goers, but I didn’t know I felt this passionately about it.