💚

I finally decided to start doing affirmations in the morning, because I've been recognizing negative thought patterns a lot lately and I want to actually achieve some kind of change in that. Meditation is really powerful for me so I thought affirmations would probably work really well. I found a few that sound like things that would really benefit me (since there are a lot of affirmations that I think just sound cheesy and wouldn't work for me personally).

However, when it comes to saying them, I feel like a teenager being asked to perform something in front of my friends and parents simultaneously. It feels mortifying, and not because the affirmations themselves are particularly inadequate. It's like I look at them and my brain recoils. I find it very difficult to say them and even though they mean a lot to me on paper, saying them makes me think things like "this is so ridiculous", " this is never going to work", "I really hope nobody finds this notebook". I don't know if I'm just embarrassed because of some preconceived idea about affirmations themselves, or if this is just my brain showing how deep the negative thoughts go. Is this normal at first? Will it get easier?

• I have the power to turn my dreams into my reality.
• I am worthy of a joyful life.
• My future is beautiful beyond description.

And so it is.

I’ve started going to sleep to repeated affirmations for abundance and all round really positive energy.
However I feel like the opposite is happening. My car needed a service and it’s going to take all my savings to fix it which is money I was saving for a surgery. (I have also been trying to manifest this surgery)
Am I doing something wrong or is the universe trying to tell me something?😭
I feel like when I try to meditate and listen to affirmations my life flips itself upside down and I feel so lost in my spiritual journey.

Saying no is still something I’m learning how to do without feeling guilty.

For a long time, I thought being a good person meant always making room, always understanding, always bending a little more. But sometimes I bend so much that I forget I’m a person too.

I’m learning that no is not always rejection. Sometimes no is me being honest. Sometimes no is me protecting my peace. Sometimes no is me finally listening to what I need.

My affirmation today:

• I can say no and still care.
• I can have limits without explaining myself to death.
• I am allowed to protect my peace too.

• My words have the power to connect and inspire.
• The Universe listens to me and is working in my favor.
• I am worthy of being heard and understood.

And so it is.