For those of you who aren’t currently in an affair or actively looking for an AP… what do you do?

I recently ended things with someone, and honestly, I don’t think I want to do this again. The connection is incredible while it lasts, but when it ends? It hurts like hell. You build this person into such a huge part of your daily life, and then one day… they’re just gone.

The thing is, I also don’t want to jump into talking to someone else just to fill that void. That doesn’t feel fair to anyone, and I’m tired of repeating the same cycle.

But now I’m realizing how much I relied on having that person. Not even just romantically, but having someone outside my marriage to constantly talk to, share my day with, vent to, laugh with. Without that, I feel… weirdly empty. Like I don’t even know what to do with myself.

Before anyone says “touch grass”… I do. 😂 I have hobbies, friends, and a life. This isn’t about being bored. It’s about getting used to having that emotional connection, and now it’s gone.

Maybe life is telling me to finally stop chasing this because I genuinely don’t think I can keep putting myself through this kind of heartbreak. But at the same time, I’m struggling with what comes next.

For those who’ve stepped away from affairs, how did you adjust? Does that feeling ever go away? Or am I just in the ugly part where everything feels… quiet?

Every time I see a notification from TG saying “[xx] joined Telegram!” I always wonder what they’re up to… and wonder how many people saw that same notification when I joined 🤦🏻‍♂️

Those of you who have fallen for their AP’s what was your outcome?

I am falling hard for mine, there is no future for us outside of what it is, we both know that. Do I pull the plug now? Save myself the complex feelings moving forward or just throw shit to the wind and enjoy it?

Hi there fellow sinners!

I am curious how you are feeling when your AP mentions their SO? Do you react? Do you talk about them or is it a no-go for you? Do you remind them you don't care about their married life?

We are both married, most of the time I don't mention my husband at all- in my opinion this place is not a space to discuss him, his preferences, ailments or anything else concerning him.

However my AP mentions his wife from time to time- today for example I learned her drinking preferences. I don't f*****g care.

Told him I am uncomfortable with this, that I don't need a reminder about his marriage (because hello, I am married too and don't need to yap about it). However every time I tell him that for me it's not comfortable, he acts a bit distant and I almost feel I need to apologize.

How is it with you and your AP?

I am recently engaged - the marriage was arranged by our families. I won't go into details about what culture I'm from, but I'm not being forced. With that said, I don't expect to fall in love or be attracted to my fiancé. I've accepted that, and am still ok with this choice - he's the best option I can expect to find given the "pool" I'm able to choose from. People accept all sorts of shitty situations in life, I've accepted this will be mine, and I'd rather take this than face the consequences of not getting married in my situation.

So, I'm not looking for pity, or advice about defying family/cultural expectations, I just want the answer to the question in the title: if you had the intention of only cheating once, were you able to stick to that? Why or why not.

I have an AP (more or less) who knows my full situation and my feelings around it, we've sexted 3 times, but I know he'd like to go all the way in real life. I never did, because know know I am the type of person to catch feelings - I have no real relationship experience, and end up feeling infatuated every time. However, I've been wanting to more and more, especially now that I'm engaged. It feels like a 'last chance' to go all the way with AP, before doing so would be one moral line further. I'm tempted to tell myself that even if I catch feelings after, I'll still be able to have those feelings, but not do it again. Is that realistic? If it's not, I should know that.

Ive been on n off this page mainly out of curiosity and open mindedness so im familiar with dont shit where you eat, single APs should find single people etc etc. I get it.

But theres this guy at my job and we don’t work together but he somehow found a way to cross paths with me. Teams message, little questions or pokes that were work related and eventually we started texting. I remain friendly, and nothing over the top from me.

I think he likes the attention but he never mentions his family, just one of his kids. I asked what his intentions were because hes flirty and i know hes married and he says friends and hes just being friendly but i feel like thats not the truth.

He’s wanting to go to lunch which i havent agreed to but he’s going to a workout class with me tomorrow. I can tell he wants to talk to me and see me but for what. Just to text and get attention? Is he testing the waters?

Side note: Yes i am single and not looking for anything from this man, i am open minded to circumstances and situations though. If a certain situation presents itself, id be open to engaging but i don’t have enough information from him.

I’ve been with AP for over a year. He is a cake eater. When we first got started, I was married & we used condoms. I got an IUD last year so we stopped, I stupidly thought it was a DB situation. Now that I see the cake-eatery, I feel like I am going to start dating and pull away from AP. But in the meantime, I feel like we should go back to condoms. 1) idk what his wifey is doing 2) who knows what else he’s doing 3) if I’m going to date, it’s reasonable that I’ll have sex with someone else eventually.

Any suggestions? just pull one out next time?