This is an update to a post I made over a year ago about my ex (who is army retired) not reporting our divorce to DEERS (at this point it’s been 7 years).

I took some advice from comments on my post and made an appointment at the RAPIDS office in my nearest base, got a day pass (as my dependent ID was expired) and took in my certified divorce decree.

At first the lady refused saying they couldn’t make any changes without the sponsor, I explained it’s been 7 years he’s not updating it, I asked to speak to a supervisor. She said no. They just don’t do it. At this point I was starting to tear up because this is ridiculous, I want to be off his record and off Tricare.

Finally after I insist it can be done she asked the employee working in the cubicle next to her if they can accept my change, and the employee says yes there’s a change to protocol and if it’s been 5 years since the divorce with noncompliance of the sponsor, they can process it.

But the lady helping me was still not wanting to process it, so the employee told her to call their overseeing office and ask for sure. The lady comes back telling me she’s going to call because that’s not something they process, and did I even have the divorce decree? (I did). Was it even an official copy? (It was). Finally, the phone call was made and they told her to process it! Success!

Now I have to look forward to the money I will owe Tricare for the years I was not supposed to be covered (My other insurance wouldn’t pay anything unless Tricare-which was the primary insurance- was run first since I was still a dependent). But at least I never have worry about it again.

TLDR; if divorces is 5 years or more due to noncompliant sponsor, spouse can report divorce (with certified divorce decree). Be persistent if they tell you no, have them call to confirm.

My friends saw it was were a little confused. Had to explain it to them hahah!

Hey everybody, this will probably be my last update because we lost Dad the other night. I have never been more upset and frustrated in my life and now it’s not any better. You would think that trying to get a service member home would not be hard. However the Louisville VA has made it next to impossible. The only thing my dad wanted was be covered with an American flag. Well Pittsburgh VA could not get a hold of the Louisville VA and also the Indiana congresswoman has been trying to get in contact with them and they will not contact her back either. We had to have him cremated to get him home and now we can’t grant his one wish thanks to Louisville. We’re gonna fight this and everything they’ve done so nobody else has to deal with these types of issues. The cheif of staff said they would use dad as a learning experience and he was right because I won’t let him go down like this. I don’t know how many other families have gone through the same things we have, but I hope not many because this has been devastating for us on so many levels.

100% rated, 30, Unemployed, recently got fired. In my first year for Engineering but its taking a LONG time since I need math pre requisites like pre cal>Cal 1 >physics 1 /Cal 2 (pretty much its taking me too long impatient and don’t like living where I am at in Texas.)

Also I have 2 properties but im tired of managing my airbnb and my current main property which I have my tax exemption on. I know hiring a property manager is an option but I did the numbers and I would be bleeding from both due to property taxes/ calculation on maintenance/ and fees/hoa/etc.
So I will probably end up selling one or both. Idk

I really want to get a van and move to the west coast (maybe go to school and see if CH 31 will work over there?) I don’t mind going to college as long as its scenic - I am a big nature guy.

I have a lot in savings and idk what to do. I’m very privileged and I have worked very hard, but I don’t have any family, or loved ones. I have a dog thats about it. Just lost and needing some real recommendations on what I could do. Used to be a high achiever, now i just fuchin sit on the couch and watch tv…Personally moving out the USA after acquiring a bachelors degree would be optimal 5 years out. Lowkey think America is on its downfall tbh

What did you do with your lives? What would you do in my situation?

Anyone here rated @100% for MH alone, and has used the VR&E program?

Fellow vets! I’m experiencing an uncomfortable learning phase that seems permanent.

TLDR: about a struggling vet who’s in a competitive industry trying to hold myself emotionally and professionally intact while working with terrible colleagues.

Context: former devil who’s been working in a high stakes sales industry, alongside a strong handful of co-workers that have super type A personalities. Envision people that will eat your lunch and raid your chicken coup when they present themselves as the type to hold it down. I’m talking that age old experience: you go on that rare vacation one week and your coverage is trying to steal your accounts the next.

How do you guys keep that rough & tumble side tempered with asshole co-workers? I’m talking white collar environments that played a part in your stereotypical MC biker by Saturday and family man/banker-type the remaining 6 days? I’ve consistently struggled with dropping the “we” expectations in team and it professionally bites.

A couple guys I’ve rubbed shoulders with in the sales industry have made comments about not presenting myself as a stereotypical devil, but I find that irrelevant given that to do well with certain clientele in sales, it requires different approaches. Essentially, I’m having an identity crisis at an age you’d think it’s all figured out. The last thing I want is to unsheathe the retired knife hand and suddenly become the bad guy.

And if you’ve made it this far, I’ve already addressed the necessary people both in and out of work. I’m solely looking for how you guys essentially say “f**k off” without getting HR paperwork or fired. Moments like these I really miss how communication and career progression was structured. Thanks in advance…

I have very few items of my grandfather's (my aunt stole and pawned most of his stuff) but I recently recovered his dogtags. Posts I've read seem to suggest that it's okay to wear them; but the thing is I've been mistaken for a vet a couple of times, so I think people will assume they're mine. Is it still okay to wear them?

Edit: So the consensus is it's okay. Out of an abundance of caution and not wanting to steal valor: can I wear them over my shirt?

Kinda like the title says… what careers do you find yourself in while living in Washington? I’ve gotten into Sales & Business, And I find my self constantly looking for higher paying opportunities.

Entrepreneurship? Real estate ownership? Agriculture? Sales? What do yall do?

Thank you in advance. Just trying to see what other vets are doing in the area.

There was a post on Reddit that inspired me to not just read through the letters that I got 35 years ago from family and friends, but to send them back to them.

My mom, 93 years old now, has started to read through her stack of about 30 she sent to me, for the short time I was deployed.

My father even sent some, he was a decorated Vietnam Veteran, (F-105 Wild Weasel) who has since passed. He was a man a few words, and had some PTSD issues, but his letters were extremely valuable and she can read those now too.

Several of my siblings, my aunt and a high school friend also have received their’s back and have enjoyed reading through them immensely.

If you have letters sitting in a box somewhere, I would encourage you to do the same !

If you are 18-75 years old, a Veteran who served in the U.S. military, and experiencing PTSD symptoms, you may be eligible to participate in a study of a non-pharmaceutical treatment for insomnia.

Participants will undergo 4 therapy visits by phone and video, record information about their sleep for 5-6 weeks, and depending on participation, may be compensated for their time up to $348 (or up to $418 for participants asked to wear a sleep monitoring watch).

For more information or to contact study staff, please use one of the following methods:

Study link: Insomnia Treatment Study

Phone: Call (415) 221-4810 x24850 or (415) 602-5019

Text: Text “YES TO RESEARCH” to (415) 602-5019 to receive a text with the study link

Email: Respond “YES TO RESEARCH” to [[email protected]](mailto:[email protected]) to receive a link to communicate securely with study staff through encrypted email.

** Please note that email [or texting] is not secure. Please do not contact study staff with personal information or personal health information over text or email. To communicate personal information please call (415) 602-5019.*\*

40 year old male, 6 yr Active Duty AF vet here. Separated in 2016. As I have served in a combat zone, I'm eligible to join both.

I've often thought about getting involved, at least as a form of community involvement and socialization, but I just haven't been able to bring myself to it due to the optics.

I've been to them before, and although I'm sure there's more going on than what you see, what I see is a watering hole for mostly Vietnam-era vets that basically functions as an event hosting location for people to have parties. I get that hosting parties is probably how these places stay alive, but it just feels like it gets in the way of what those places should be. To me, it makes it seem inauthentic and underwhelming as a place for veterans to go be among other veterans.

I understand all the advocating, community service, and veteran supports that these organizations offer - and that's great. I'm not here to throw shade. But, with so many posts around the country it also feels like each community is so small that it's unlikely to even meet some people close to my age with similar experiences.

To be honest, I don't think I want to play that game where we act like we still have ranks and function in some sort of self-contained bureaucracy. I'm not showy about my service, and I'm not interested in wearing hats or uniforms. No disrespect to those that do like that sort of thing. I get it, and I respect the good work they do.

Besides a bar that provides event hosting. What else is there really?

I recieved my DD214 worksheet today.. I had 2 enlistments (continuous), so I’m only receiving one dd214. I am getting out with a General discharge and was told that the remarks would mention my first enlistment as honorable for GI Bill purposes. However, on the worksheet it only says “Member has completed first full term of service.” Is this the same? Or should it say something else?

I was AdSep in 2024 with Gen Un Hon discharge for Alc Rehab Fail with a RE code of 2B. I was told by a recruiter that they can only waive either the reason or the RE code but not both. Has anyone had success with getting an RE code changed or know where i can get guidance on getting mine changed?

Good Afternoon. I am trying to find a place to borrow from the catch up on my bills. In April I was awarded full custody of my son and have been struggling without help from his mother. My car broke down the day before I got him full time and had to buy a new vehicle. Thats where all my savings went. I have fallen way behind on my bills and at risk of being evicted. I am struggling but trying to keep my composure to push through. I have applied at all of the unsecured places with zero luck and just submitted a request from Service CU. Any info will be incredible and I thank you all for taking the time to read it!

Hi I'm trying to get my DD214 on National Archive sent in on day 29 and till this day have not got it so is there a different way for me to get it (until I get it, I can move on with me recruiter)

so should i start this form and mail it to National Archive? or wait for more time

(got out at basic training at marine bootcamp now trying to apply to air force)

I’m using my GI bill to go to school for business management, most my peers tell my I don’t need it but I honestly get more on the GI bill than I have been working and I have no idea how to run a business. My physical therapist at the VA told me the VA offers grants for veterans starting businesses but I can’t seem to find any information on this anywhere. I’m hoping to start my own business and found that the VA does offer free business seminars but can’t seem to find much else. I’m a single dad, so any help starting my business would be amazing. Any advice?

I’m SC for sleep apnea, but I don’t use the CPAP machine I’ve been prescribed. Wondering if anyone here has been through the process.

I am currently serving on active duty and have completed two years of my four-year enlistment contract. I recently learned about the Active Duty Montgomery GI Bill (MGIB-AD) and would like more information about whether I am eligible to use it while I am still on active duty.
At the moment, I am pursuing a bachelor’s degree, and my tuition is fully covered through Walmart’s education benefit program. Since my education expenses are already being paid, I would like to understand whether there are any additional benefits available through the MGIB-AD that I could use while remaining on active duty, or if it would be more advantageous to save those benefits for after I separate from the Army.
I would appreciate any guidance on eligibility, how the benefit works while on active duty, and the advantages and disadvantages of using it now versus waiting until after my military service.

I'm an Army vet that got out after 25 yrs in 2017. Did the Iraq/Afghan tours. Had a shitty childhood and life up to 30.

I'm 51 now and feel like life has crept up on me. I had a breakdown this year. Bad bout of depression. Feel like my mindset is changing.

Anyway, I've been going the the VA for years for MH. I couldn't get into a provider as I thought I just need to talk to someone. Ended up finding the Vet Center and it has been great and a different approach vs the typical VA. The typical VA is medicate....if needed....medicate even more.

The counselor at the Vet Center recommended the Sheep Dog IA - Warrior Pathh in Missouri/Arkansas. We have determined I am in Post Traumatic Growth now. It seems like a cumulation of years of issues and baggage unloading.

I applied and just waiting to hear from them.

Any advice or experience with the program? thanks.

Going to school online using post 9/11 MGIB (sorry for confusion I’m using post 9/11. GI bill, not MGIB ) Attempting to withdraw midterm after my cataract developed during VA documented care. VA saying they can’t evaluate my mitigating circumstances until after withdrawal. I’ve already provided MGIB VA people with my VA medical documentation. Online school refuses to help midterm.

Does my documented cataract count as mitigating, and if not what will I owe back VA? The TA , TA and housing allowance, or just housing?

For the past 2-3 months I’ve had an even harder time falling asleep than what I did before. I hear all these noises and the house cracking and settling and it just keeps me up all night thinking someone is breaking into the house.

What a great problem to have 😐

I have blink cameras but they are just junk. Don’t pick up shit and batteries die to often.

Does anyone know of any great camera systems / security systems that don’t break the bank or give us veterans a discount?

That way just maybe I can sleep a little better

I already use a sound machine

So, I’ve been out for a year now and I’m enrolled to begin an Associates program in Air Conditioning Technology (HVAC) next month. It’s not a requirement but the college offers a tool package to use during school and for work. Is there any thing you are aware of that could help pay as in a grant? I live in GA and I’m 100% if that makes a difference. Not using VRE, I’ve had a horrible experience with that. I’m willing to pay out of pocket but I’d really rather not if there’s other resources out there. I’ve been trying to connect with my states veterans resources to no avail. I’m working part time while I go to school and I’m using my BHA and Pell to help support my family so it’s spoken for. Any suggestions or advice would be great.

I keep having this thought in the back of my head of "maybe this time would be different from before" and the feeling of just being wronged on how my army career ended. I think I shouldn't go back and now I just have been having the same thought for the past 7 years of what if we give it a second try?. Any one ever had this feelings?

I've been out of the Navy for about a month and a half now, and I'm having a hard time moving on with my life. I was in for 16 years, didn't plan on getting out yet, but was forced to separate for being trans.

Part of the problem is it still doesn't quite feel real, especially given my last 10 months in were spent on administrative absence. I guess I just need something to do to convince my brain things are actually different now, I just don't know what.

How does it work when I am working oversea as a 100%? Anyone have any experience like this?

I work for dept of state. I recently got my 100%. I would not be able to go to VA. how do I make sure VA still know I still have the medical problem/ disabilities while working oversea? Aka not reduce my rating?

Thank you in advance.