So something weird happened today. I was at a café with some people. There were five males there. One of the males was my friend, and the other four males were friends of friends I didn't really know.

We were just having a normal conversation, and at one point I referred to one of them as a male instead of a man. Honestly, I didn't even think about it because English isn't my first language, and I thought both words were pretty much the same.

But then they immediately pointed it out and started saying it was a red flag. Somehow the conversation went from a normal chat to me being called a "walking red flag." I was honestly confused because there was no bad intention behind it. I wasn't trying to disrespect the males—I just used a word I thought was normal.

But I'm curious: is this actually a big thing among English speakers, or is it mostly an internet culture thing? Did I just miss this update?

Edit: To clarify, this is a satire post/ joke post . I saw a similar post that referred to Women as females. I continue to see women referred as female everywhere on Reddit. And honestly it sucks to be identified by a scientific term instead of talking to us as equals.

did medications help you ? or exercise ? or what ?

My mom didn't allow me hair removal till I turned 18. She told me figure out on my own. She refused to take me to salon for waxing, and she has never used razor so I learnt how to do it on my own using youtube videos. I did get a hang of shaving but the problem was how quickly all the hair grew back. In less than 24 hours my arms and legs would start feeling very spiky. My mom finally agreed to take me to salon after I begged a lot for waxing, but there was slight bedding in my underarms each time and I couldn't get my upper leg waxed because of SH scars (I'm sorry for not mentioning this).

I am looking for new methods, and I was almost about to get an epilator but I don't think I will be able to handle the pain. I know laser is the best option but my mom would never allow me. I will have to wait till I get older.

I recently came across stripless waxing and also wax roller.

I am thinking of trying stripless waxing once but I'm not sure which brand to go with and if that product is okay to use on arms and legs because most products online are named as Brazilian and face wax.

( I found out today what a Brazilian wax is...sometimes I just feel so stupid and sad for not having anyone to ask for advice and know more about basic stuff..growing up with parents like mine made me afraid of making friends too and my silly ass ended up being a loner now. Also I am a med student so there's even less me-time)

If anyone has tried stripless waxing then could you tell me which brand would be better and if it's okay to be done on arms and legs?

If anyone has used wax roller with strips then would you suggest it? Is it efficient and does it removes hair properly?

I'm more inclined towards stripless waxing as I have read that it's less painful..

I want to be able to do it on my own without needing to go anywhere.

I hope this post wasn't annoying. I'm really sorry.

But I will be really grateful for any advice on hair removal.

Thank you very much for reading till the end.

I met a man online whom I really liked. We went on a date, and while he was alright, I knew it wouldn't be right for me. I communicated it to him, but we kept on talking partly because I was still attracted to him.

After a month, a couple of weeks ago, our conversations reduced after an ideological difference and I thought it would help reduce the attraction I feel for him. I restricted him on IG so that I don't get notified when he texts. I deleted his chats and contact so that I don't contact him or have any way to contact him. I didn't block him because the block list would have his number. But I still crave his attention and I am so pissed at myself for that.

How do you strong women dissociate from situations which are not good for you?

P.S. I am 27 and he is 43, and I wish I was trolling, but seems like the only person I am trolling at the moment, is myself.

I (23 f) am being forced to attend an annual religious ceremony at my paternal family's house in Banaras. If I go I will be subjected to the worst patriarchal abuse ever known to man...Unless, I come up with a professional reason to skip it. The problem is I am kinda on the hunt for jobs, my contract ended in April 2026. I fabricated a work email in 2025 (an invite for an interview which actually eventually turned out to be true!). However, I feel like they are onto me and the same excuse cannot work🥲. The event is between 3-4th August.

What do I do? Since I am a journalist, I can think of an interview with a "potential source" or whatever. Also, talking it out or having a mature conversation with my parents is NOT on the table because they will drag me against my wishes

Listen, I am a working mom. I have always been the topper/ studious kid and never the cooking kind. Thats how my mother raised me and that has paid off in my career. I do pretty well for myself professionally. But I never ended up liking cooking and I try to ignore it as much as we can.

My kid gets a healthy breakfast in morning, then lunch is provided by school. We keep all the meals at home pretty standard-- dal, roti, some green vegetable sabzi, roti, salad. At dinner, we add a source of protein to the meal--egg, chicken, or paneer.

We have a cook who manages this and honestly, thats the most I can do. But then I see these moms on Instagram creating amazing dry snacks and hot snacks for their kids--and it I get into this guilt hole of not doing enough.

I cant make millet appams in evening or avocado toasts or heart shaped cookies. The most I can do is a whole wheat home-cooked pizza or like omellettee or I can cut an apple?

I am tired. I am tired of this society and of these social media algorithms that would never show these videos to my husband

Background

I (21F) and my boyfriend (21M) have been together for 3 years. We're high school sweethearts and have known each other since 2016. We started as friends, became best friends, and eventually confessed our feelings one random night. I'm his first relationship. He's kind, respectful, and doesn't swear or treat me badly.

My dilemma

Lately, I've been wondering if my expectations are unrealistic or if I'm ignoring something important.

Seeing friends and social media, I notice a lot of people receiving flowers, handwritten notes, thoughtful gifts, surprise dates, and other romantic gestures. I know social media isn't real life, but it still makes me wonder.

In our 3 years together, I only got flowers for the first time after 2 years of dating, and even then it happened only after I hinted and complained about it. When I asked why he never gave me flowers before, he genuinely said he didn't know it was considered a romantic gesture.

I've also given him thoughtful gifts over the years, but I rarely receive the same in return. It's not that he never gives me anything—he'll often bring me something to eat when we meet, and we always split the bill because I prefer paying for myself. But when he does buy gifts, they usually feel random rather than personal or meaningful.

Valentine's Day is another example. He never thought it was important until we argued about it. Now he wishes me on those occasions, but that's about it.

The hardest part is that after having to ask for flowers and other gestures, they don't feel romantic anymore. Instead of feeling loved, they feel like he's doing them because I complained. It makes me uncomfortable rather than happy.

So now I'm scared that if I directly ask for other things, they'll also start feeling forced instead of genuine.

For context, this isn't about money. He's financially better off than I am. And I also can't really surprise him with physical gifts because his parents are strict and get suspicious.

The second thing I struggle with is emotional effort.

Online I often see relationships where the boyfriend is completely obsessed with his girlfriend—constantly apologizing first, putting his ego aside, and doing everything to make her happy ("joru ka gulam" stereotype).

Our relationship isn't like that. It's more equal. He respects me, even during arguments, which I appreciate. But he only apologizes if he genuinely believes he's wrong. If he thinks he's right, he'll stand his ground, even if it takes multiple conversations or fights for him to understand my perspective.

Sometimes I end up feeling like I'm carrying most of the emotional work in the relationship. I don't necessarily want someone who blindly agrees with me, but I do want to feel heard, understood, and emotionally prioritized. Instead, it sometimes feels like one person is putting in more emotional effort while the other is just... comfortable.

Overall, our relationship is good, which is why I'm confused. Am I comparing my relationship too much to others, or are these valid things to feel disappointed about?

I'd really appreciate honest opinions, especially from people who've been in long-term relationships.

TL;DR: My boyfriend is kind, respectful, and we have a generally healthy 3-year relationship, but I rarely receive thoughtful romantic gestures unless I ask for them, and then they feel forced instead of genuine. I also feel like I carry more of the emotional effort during conflicts. Am I letting social media create unrealistic expectations, or are these valid concerns that should be addressed?

May sound tone-deaf, and at the expense of being downvoted or bashed I'm asking this question - Is attachment towards a fetus a real thing?

I come across so many stories of Indian women in pathetic situation post marriage and somehow they get pregnant. But why? why is it even happening? No, these are not stories of under privileged women, but working urban ones. Why don't they abort the fetus right in the beginning?

I know marital rape induced pregnancy happens, but India also has laws where the woman doesn't need to take consent from their spouse to abort the fetus right? Makes me wonder why would someone even want their entire life to be trapped.

I just read a reddit post, where a very young woman in 20s married a spine-less, useless husband, who has lied, financially abused, has huge unpaid loans which was not disclosed before marriage, abusive In-laws, and above anything - it was a high risk pregnancy. I mean, why??

She could have aborted the baby, divorced his ass and could have moved on. After all she was just in her 20s. Yet, chose to be a single mother. I may sound very unempathetic, tone deaf, excuse me. But life in India as a single mother isn't easy either. why would someone want to keep a fetus given by a loser husband?

On the other hand, I've also heard stories of women hating their own child, because they remind them of their ex. Usually, as a burst out, due to the frustration of being a single mom, while the Ex-husband could move on easily. I mean, what even? you could have just aborted the fetus.

Am I wrong to think so? I genuinely don't feel so. I feel kids are a trap, as in - once you have them, you have to strive to give the best for them, thereby sacrificing your life. At least till they become adults. And this sacrifice is not painful, if you have a supportive and a loving spouse beside you. What's even the point of struggling all your life, just because you got pregnant by a loser?

why is moving on difficult? Am I wrong to think like this?

So my mother (50F) is so so pretty. I know every daughter would say it, but she is objectively conventionally beautiful. For example she went to the protest at Jantar Mantar yesterday and 4 people came to tell her how pretty she is. All my friends in college would ask me if she is my older sister, not to flatter her but they were genuinely surprised. I was even insecure at school when she would come because everybody would be like that's your mother??

She never got any pretty privilege though because she married into a family that was very abusive. This led to chronic illnesses back to back. And despite the world telling her she is pretty she feels very low because she has a lot of wrinkles on her forehead. I tried to tell her to accept them, but honestly, no one her age or even older than her has them so she I believe is rightly concerned. It also reminds her of the hardship that she has gone through. Sometimes when she is sleeping, I look at her face and start crying because all of her trauma is visible on her face.

Now I think the only thing to do is to avoid future aging as much as possible. I tried taking her to the dermatologist but frankly both of us have now developed a phobia of doctors. I need practical advice that has worked for someone her age that you know. Any daughter that has prepared a regime for her mother please let me know. I am thinking of starting retinol for her but would want to know your experiences, advice, product recommendations... anything. I refuse to chatgpt I just need a real person.

​Hi everyone,

​My husband and I have been married for 2 years, and the financial exploitation and emotional double standards have become unbearable:

​He paid ₹15 Lakhs of his own money toward a joint property for his parents (his brother paid a separate ₹15 Lakhs). But when I ask about his share in that property, he says he "doesn't count on it" and wants to leave his share—or even the complete property—to his brother. He also splits their parents' monthly living expenses, always worrying about his brother's career and doing him favors, even though his brother is perfectly healthy and capable.

​ I have a chronic health condition (though I am stable now). Despite knowing this, he pressured me to reject lower-paying job offers to target high packages, which directly caused my 1-year career gap. Meanwhile, he hasn't spent a single rupee on my basic expenses during this entire gap because he knows my retired father gets a pension and will support me.

​Our families are at the exact same middle-class level, but because I am an only child and my parents built a few modest properties, he feels my parents will always cover me. He uses this as an excuse to redirect all his financial sacrifices toward his brother and parents while completely shirking his duties as a husband.

​ I even helped him with my own money to buy a property for us, but my name was not included in it. I went along with it then, but now I realize how financially exploited and unprotected I am.

​His mother, brother, and brother's wife bodyshamed, insulted, and yelled at me shortly after marriage. I never spoke back to his mother even when she scolded or insulted me—I kept quiet thinking she would change, but she didn't. Recently, she shouted and disrespected my parents and said terrible things about me. Even though he briefly confronted them, he kept forcing me to "get along" with them. When the disrespect became unbearable, I cut all contact. Now he is upset with me and insists I forgive them and move on.

​He never calls or texts when we are apart, even though he used to do this when we were dating. He only shows warmth or tries to make up after fights when he wants physical intimacy.

​I have discussed all of this with him multiple times, but he insists that funding them is his "duty and responsibility." He clearly will not change. I have cut ties with his family completely, but I feel exhausted, financially vulnerable, and confused about my next steps.

​I am currently looking for a job to stand on my own feet. My questions are:

​How do I financially secure myself moving forward?

​Should I completely stop sharing all financial information with him (my upcoming salary, bank details, savings, and job offers)?

​What steps should I take regarding the money I contributed toward the property that doesn't have my name on it?

I got married in February 2026, and I'm feeling conflicted about something.

My husband is the primary earner in our family. We live in a rented apartment (rent is around ₹30k/month), and he has also bought a flat for which we're paying an EMI of around ₹40k/month.

His job is extremely demanding—he works close to 16 hours a day most days. I was unemployed for about two months after our wedding but recently started working again. I earn around ₹40k/month, which is much less than his income.

Financially, this year has been exhausting. A major chunk of our money went into the wedding, and since then it's been regular household expenses, setting up our home, EMIs, and other unexpected costs. He hasn't really been able to save anything because every month seems to bring a new financial obligation.

We're finally going on our honeymoon (tickets already booked 2 months back), which we've both been looking forward to, but now he also has to pay around ₹1.3 lakh in income tax while filing his ITR. I can see how stressed he is, even though he rarely complains.

I have around ₹70k in personal savings. I offered to lend it to him and even said he could return it whenever he's comfortable—even if it takes 7–8 months.

Instead of accepting it, he seemed a little upset and said he'd manage on his own.

Now I'm torn.

On one hand, I hate seeing him under so much financial pressure and I want to help. On the other hand, this is pretty much all the savings I have, and I also feel like it's important to have an emergency fund of my own in case something unexpected happens.

Once I start earning consistently again and have a few regular paychecks coming in, my plan is to contribute a fixed portion of my salary every month towards our savings or investments. I don't have any issue contributing financially to our future together. My only hesitation right now is that this ₹70k is essentially my entire safety net.

For those who are married, how do you handle situations like this? Do you keep separate emergency savings, or do you treat everything as shared? Should I insist on helping, or respect the fact that he wants to manage it himself?

I'd really appreciate perspectives from couples who've navigated similar situations.

If you've read the title, you can probably guess where I am going to go with this. Choice feminism is a bigger problem than what we acknowledge it to be, and we need to collectively stop supporting it. Disclaimer- please scroll past this post if you are a choice feminist. I have no respect for your kind and i would rather you not engage on this post.

A little backstory into why I am angry today and what warranted this post- a female, well respected professor in the university I studied in has introduced a new rule for her class alone saying shorts and sleeveless clothes aren't allowed. The university itself doesn't have any dress code and people are free to wear whatever they want, except for her class. Her reasoning for this is nothing. This was also followed by her saying "don't bring up bullshit like feminism into this, i won't listen to it".

Isn't she in her position today because of feminism? Without feminism, what would have led her into a workplace to become financially independent? But no, according to her, feminism is bullshit. The same goes for choice feminists. Just because a woman makes a choice doesn't mean it's inherently feminist, women can make misogynistic choices too. After all, aren't women the biggest torchbearers of patriarchy?

Take tradwife content on social media for instance. Tradwives say a woman's place is in the kitchen and to make babies, and that husbands are supposed to make money for the family. But when these people start making content, and they monetize it, aren't they going against whatever they supposedly preach?

Choices are not made in a vacuum, and anyone who says otherwise isn't true to themselves. Sure, there could be more nuance to the choice you make which was because of your personal interests, but the overall idea behind the choice in general comes from what society teaches you. And no, I'm not infantilizing women by telling them they don't know what they are doing. That take is also problematic because people do things without giving a second thought to it. "It's not that deep" is exactly what we are meant to question.

I hate to take this example again, but think of body hair removal. Think of tan removal. We were all bullied in school by that mean girl for our leg hair, the parlour aunty tells us "aye hayee kitni growth ho gayi" or our moms taught us that "girls should keep their skin clean by waxing their hair" and we all started doing it. Best case scenario, we didn't get bullied, but we saw someone else do it and adopted that behaviour. Think of the impossible body standards women have for themselves. 22 inch waist, skinny legs, toned body, pilates arms, big boobs and ass, "I just want to be skinny, I don't really care about muscles or anything". Why are we encouraging weakness? Lesser said the better about women who also go one step further and shame women for not doing certain things expected by society while claiming to be feminists.

Just because you are a woman and you made these choices doesn't make them inherently feminist. Choices do not originate in a vacuum. It's a result of hundreds of years of societal conditioning. By supporting every single choice that a woman makes as a personal preference, we are undoing the work that all the feminists did to get us to where we are today. If you are a feminist, at least be true to yourself. Choice feminism is not feminism, if you follow something only when convenient, that doesn't make you a feminist.

so i’m a recent graduate (batch of 2026). i’ve interned at t1s and t2s for the most part but for several reasons none of those became full time. and now the job market is rough and i’m finding it difficult to break into a well known firm for a full time opportunity.

i’m from a very good college and i have great internships. i have a lot of contacts asw but the market is just brutal for freshers and i’ve been unable to secure anything at any big place as of yet. but i got an offer from a small firm in my city. they are very small. not that well known, and mostly involved in litigation which is not my interest area but they’ve said it’ll be a dual role with both litigation and transactions work. i’ve spoken to every one in the firm. they seem wonderful. they are super intelligent, well spoken and sweet. work culture doesn’t seem too bad, salary is pretty shit but hey that’s the profession. it’s better than what other litigators pay. the only thing that’s making me hesitant right now is brand value. i always thought i would end up in a well known firm.

i don’t mind doing this job at least for a year or two. i doubt it’ll be bad considering the fact that the people are wonderful. but how hard will it be for me to transition from this to a non-litigation job at a t1 or t2? two years down the line i cannot start over applying to these firms as a fresher. will the lack of brand value in my work experience and the litigation aspect of it hinder my future applications?

It is unbearable for me to live in India. My parents scream at the top of their lungs around 3 to 4 times a week. Somedays its at the maid for making some mistake, some days its at the laundry machine people, some days its at me or my older sibling, and some days its my older sibling having anger issues and screaming at my parents or at me.

Why do people in this country feel this visceral rage that makes them scream their lungs out in deep hatred at everyone? Over the smallest of mistakes? Is it anger issues or just a complete inability to regulate themselves? They don't seem affected by their rage outbursts, they go back to normal within minutes and i'm the one with a weird feeling in my stomach running away to my room and putting headphones in, can still hear their visceral hatred filled voices screaming so loud despite doing everything to hide from it.

It reminds me of my childhood days and how their unreasonable anger traumatised me. I also love them, seeing them in this hateful anger makes me worried about their health.

I wonder if it is worth it staying in this country if to make money and live a decent life you need to burn so much blood and feel the need to express such intense anger when other people make the smallest mistakes? I sometimes feel they enjoy it and it makes them feel powerful that's why they do it. But it hurts my health and I develop acid reflux and stomach cramps from it. Don't think I'm some delicate darling I can give it right back if the gun is pointed at me but generally my temperament doesn't suit this outrageous, illogical, self harming anger.

Was blaming my scooty seat, my posture, everything…but a colleague suggested changing my helmet because it was too big for my head and constantly resting on my neck and shoulders while I drive. 

Also, it is too damn heavy…close to 1.5kg and I ride almost an hour a day combined.

Switched to a lighter open-face and genuinely speaking…the neck pain is mostly gone within two weeks. I know its kind of wild but it actually makes a difference!  

If anyone's dealing with unexplained neck/shoulder pain and rides daily…pls check your helmet weight and fit. I got a Tvarra helmet for about Rs 2.5k…you can get any light weight but do check if its completely safe and ISI licensed.

Hello my girls!
I am heavy chested and it has been a pain to find non padded lingerie sets. Actually I haven't found any yet.
Please drop your suggestions, in dire need!

So I've been freelancing for a company remotely. They're offering me a permanent position, but I'll have to shift to Bangalore for that. For context, I'm based in Kolkata, and even though I've lived all over India, I've never lived on my own before. Even the thought of it makes me homesick tbh

I was talking to a girl in my team and she told me how leaving her home was the most freeing thing for her. To be fair, I don't have much restrictions in my home to begin with except a few, so the sense of freedom is not something which is particularly alluring to me.

I've not made up my mind yet. I might get a call from the HR by the end of this week, and I just need an approximation of how much it might cost to live in Bangalore since it's far more expensive than Kolkata as far as I understand.

I was going through sad time ( layoff ) , i came across a reel and started watching off campus. Oh god! I really loved the show.

Are men like them real ?? So much postive talk on consent and respect, i loved how lead hero wasn’t possesive and toxic even though he was jealous.

Although i didn’t like dean and allie, they grew on me. The s*x were little ott but nice to watch when they focused on female gaze and women pov ( iykyk)🙈

Also saw that its directed by women. No wonder it was shot in female gaze and talked anout respect and consent

I’m 32F and I honestly don’t know what’s happening to me anymore.
I had a dysfunctional childhood, struggled with anxiety and depression, and was on medication for 3-4 years. Even now, I feel like I’m always in survival mode being constantly alert, overthinking, and scanning for problems .
I got married 2 years ago, and my husband is genuinely a good person. But within the first six months of marriage, I had three pregnancy losses. Around the same time, my back problems (disc issues) flared up again after I’d worked so hard to get them under control, and now I also have IBS. My diet is down to mostly rice, eggs, and a few vegetables because I’m doing gluten-free, lactose-free, and low FODMAP.

The biggest issue is that I’m just… exhausted. I’ve always been a morning person, but after marriage my sleep schedule shifted because my husband gets home around 11 pm. I now sleep around midnight every day, and I wake up tired too. My job has also been extremely stressful, so I’ve decided to quit and take a few months to focus on my health before looking for another job.

The part I’m struggling with the most is that after the pregnancy losses, I don’t really want children anymore. I don’t know if it’s fear, grief, burnout, or if something changed in me. My husband still wants kids, and that makes me feel guilty and confused.

Has anyone else felt like years of trauma, stress, health issues, and losses eventually caught up with them? Did you recover? And is it normal to completely lose the desire to have children after going through repeated pregnancy loss, even if you wanted them before?

I dont even know what i am asking for? What would you do if you were in my shoes?

I was with this guy for 4 years throughout college. Our college ended 3 months ago and I left that place (its his hometown). We ended things on a bad note because he didn't make efforts to hang out with me in the last 1 year, blew me off constantly to meet his friends, ignored me, didn't text much or call (even though I was living alone), and would treat me for granted.

He wasn't always like this but as the years went by I think the "chase" was over for him. So I got treated like crap. He was the closest person to me there because I didn't have many friends in college, so I could never let him go. It always felt so toxic, and I felt he just liked the thrill of having someone think about him.

Well, 3 months post college and now he texts and calls me from another number because I blocked his to "check in". Then asked about my future plans, how I'm doing, and if my family was planning my marriage. He asked if we could study together for the PG exam. Why does he want to check in when he never cared before?

He gave me sob stories of missing me and said he is seeing me in his dreams. So I talk to him for 10 days... AND NOW HE IS IGNORING ME and doing the late-reply unbothered act again! What the hell! I honestly feel like a clown for feeling bad for him and talking again. Apart from this, I'm actually doing great, my skin looks better and I'm prioritising myself, will also probably marry soon and my post grad exams are going well. So did that bother him??

WHY CAN'T HE JUST LEAVE ME ALONE. I know he will text and start over because I stopped entertaining this once again.

TLDR: Ex who neglected me before keeps inserting himself into my life. He found out I'm doing good and things in my life are working out for me. When I feel sorry for him because he keeps obsessing over us in the past, I talk to him for a couple days, and he ignores me again.

* if possible...good for a heavier bust. I wanted a snug fit to check my form but also not too weird on the busy part (which usually is cos I'm lean but comparatively have a larger bust). Also sweat resistant.

my relationship with my parents is complicated, to say the least. i was close to a couple cousins as kids but we don't talk anymore, same with older family members. my mom's side of the family especially has never cared about me really. had a lot of friendship breakups starting 3 years ago and currently have no one to call a friend. too depressed from said breakups to start meeting new people, and even if i did i have too much trauma from my previous friendships to go into it with anything other than a negative mindset. never been in a relationship or anything so there goes that.

maybe it's confirmation bias but the more i look back on my life i find myself always alone. i feel like the only one that's all alone since everyone else seems to have atleast one of the three (family/friends/partner)

I’m genuinely so tired. My body is defective. My periods are late but the issue is, feeling like it’s gonna come.

The pain, the cramps, the mood swings, the constant feeling of liquid trickling and ohh maybe it’s here finally? Fuck this. Fuck everything. I can’t deal.

I recently joined an MNC as a consultant through a consulting firm. Another woman from the same consulting firm has been working here for about 3 months, so naturally I assumed she’d be someone I could rely on while settling into a completely new environment.
Today, my dad was admitted to the hospital, so I left work around 6:30 PM (about 2 hours before my usual time). She was already aware that my dad has been unwell. Because of heavy rain, it took me almost 2 hours to get home.
Apparently, she was waiting for me to complete part of a task, but I genuinely had no idea. Around 8:45 PM, she called me, but I never got the notification. Instead of texting something like, “Hey, are you available?” or “Can you join? I’m waiting,” she immediately started messaging things like:
“Can you join the call bro?”
“I also want to leave bro.”
When I finally saw the messages and called her back, the first thing she said was, “You disconnected my call.” Then she started saying I’d made three mistakes and that I needed to fix them immediately because she was waiting.
For context:
This was my first time performing this particular task, and it’s fairly complex.
She isn’t my manager—she’s a colleague from the same consulting firm.
She knows I’m new.
She already knew my dad was unwell and that I’d left early because of it, yet she never asked if everything was okay before immediately focusing on the missed call and the mistakes.
I have no issue being corrected if I make mistakes. In fact, I’d rather someone point them out so I can learn. What bothered me was the tone and the way she spoke to me, almost as if she had authority over me.
I’m trying to figure out if this is just normal workplace pressure and I’m being too sensitive because I’m new, or if this actually comes across as unnecessarily rude.
How would you handle a colleague like this? Would you just keep things strictly professional going forward?
TL;DR: I’m new at an MNC, and a colleague from my consulting firm (not my manager) who’s been here for 3 months called and messaged me aggressively because I missed her call and had made three mistakes on a complex task I was doing for the first time. I had left early because my dad is in the hospital (and she already knew he was unwell), and due to heavy rain it took me 2 hours to get home. Instead of checking if everything was okay, she demanded I join immediately and fix everything because she was waiting. I don’t mind feedback, but the tone felt unnecessarily rude. Am I overreacting, or should I just keep things strictly professional with her?