I started playing League of Legends 5 years ago and have racked up 3000 hours on it, but probably roughly 5000 hours counting all the time I spent learning about the game online and watching streams.
When I play League I just literally cannot think about the game nonstop. Any work I have to do is put on second priority. Gaming is suddenly more important than seeing friends. When I queue up I actively feel bad, but once I enter champ select I am literally hooked. After I finish playing my mind is foggy, and I am basically a zombie for the next couple of hours.
I was first drawn into the game with the visuals and the game mechanics. I have not seen anyone talk about this, but I swear League of Legends puts something into the splash arts that is addicting. It is not like normal art at the museum. They probably engineer it to get people like me addicted. I look at the splasharts and it completely takes me back to the loading screen where I have gotten pentakills or crazy dragon steals. Basically when I look at some of the newest splasharts or some cheap mobile game ad that is similar to league, I am a couple of steps away from relapsing. I just constantly think back to the highest parts of the game and completely lose my mind over it.
When I relapsed last year I was absolutely livid. I locked myself out of my account. I pressed a random string of keys which became my new password and the email that is attached to the account has been deleted. Therefore, I cannot access my account unless I beg customer service, which is really really embarrassing. At the same time, right now I am having thoughts of calling customer service to get my account back. I know that the employees will give it back because Riot games wants you to stay addicited.
The only reason I want my account back is because I have an emotional attachment to it and the addiction to making huge plays. I have some pretty crazy limited edition skins in it that I all somehow got "for free" in the time I spent watching the game and wasting my time on streams for drops. I have this feeling of I spent so much time obtaining these cosmetics and no other account will have these ever again, regardless of money. I have this belief that I need my account and have it stored somewhere in my posession otherwise all my achievement and plays will go away for ever. But if its in my posession obviously I'm going to relapse. I can ONLY go cold turkey. However, I am really struggling to let go of my account.
I am currently almost 1 year clean, which I have been able to achieve 3 times, but every time I relapse at the exact same time (late July). I did mini-relapse a couple days ago and played 3 games of Wild Rift on my phone, but I have since turned on parent controls for myself to stop. I played League of Legends for the very first time in late July 5 years ago. I get extreme cravings for the game EVERY SINGLE YEAR IN JULY where I basically cannot think about anything else. During the rest of the year it is fine though.
Since trying to quit I have gone cold turkey on everything. All social media is blocked and scrolling methods have been blocked completely. I have no games or anything on my phone, the most interesting app literally is gmail. 😭😭I also have been running, swimming, hiking, gym, etc. I have strong habits but league always seems like a bigger priority during this mid summer time from nostalgia and probably because when I played league the first time ever it was a different feeling and my brain is chasing that.
tldr
*I am just seeking advice on how to get over my attachment to my "limited edition cosmetics"/my lol account and not calling Riot customer service to give me back my account and relapse again. I also would like some advice to get over this relapse withdrawl craving situation in July that happens every year. I am a little worried that this will continue to cycle and it is one of my last steps to be free from this game.*