We never planned to have children. I had always been clear that I did not want children. Then my wife got pregnant by accident, and she couldn't tolerate the thought of abortion. So we kept the kid.

Now's he's seven months old, and I hate being a parent. Sometimes he's cute. Mostly he's a monster, and everything to do with him is work and effort. I hate taking care of him and I hate myself for how I feel. He gets so bad and I get so frustrated and it just feels so negative. I didnt have any of those cliche moments of joy or pure feelings. He's just work.

I feel trapped in a situation that I have no way out of. Sometimes I wish we'd aborted and divorced so that my life wouldn't be like this. We had just bought a flat and things were looking up and now that flat is too small and we're poorer than ever and I feel so hopeless. I can't talk to my wife about these feelings and I can't talk to my friends about these feelings and we dont have time or money for therapy.

I just feel trapped in a life I hate and I don't know what to do. I don't think there are any answers but I wonder if anyone else has an experience like this. I don't even know this is postpartum depression or if I am just a miserable shitty parent.

I was severely struggling. Baby is now 1 year old and things have gotten SO MUCH BETTER. Please hang in there. Things started getting better for me around month 6. But at 1 year, its like a flip has switched. There is hope. There is light at the end of the tunnel. There is still wonderful moments to be had. The clouds will fade, the sun will shine again.

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I'm 26, a single mum to an almost 2-year-old with absolutely no family support. I grew up with horrific childhood abuse, so there is no possibility of reconnecting with family. Her dad isn't involved at all. Before becoming a mum I had lots of people I'd have called friends, but after having my daughter and developing severe postnatal depression, most of those friendships disappeared. I have two people I'd genuinely call friends now.

My daughter was a surprise after years of infertility. But when she was only a few days old I developed severe postnatal depression. I admitted myself to hospital for nearly two months and have spent almost two years begging for help. I've attempted to end my life because of it and, despite working in mental health myself, I've reached the point where I honestly don't believe I'm ever going to recover from this illness.

Please don't suggest support services or organisations. I promise I've contacted just about every service available in Scotland (and beyond), called helplines, gone to A&E, contacted social work myself, and fought for every bit of help imaginable. This post isn't because I haven't asked for help.

My dilemma is this...

Since February, my daughter has been living with her godfather, who has been in her life for years and is the only dad she's ever known. He has an incredible family who have completely embraced her. She calls him Dad and his mum Nan, and she has absolutely thrived there.

The plan has always been for me to get well enough for her to come home. He truly believes I'm the best person to raise her, but he's also made it clear that if I can't do it, he would adopt her and give her the stable family she deserves.

She's due to come home soon so we can try again before she turns two in September, and I honestly don't know what the right decision is.

Without PND, I know I'd be a good mum.

With PND, I spend every day counting down to nursery, naps and bedtime. I love my daughter more than anything, but I'm surviving rather than parenting. I mask everything in front of her, but I know I can't keep doing that forever. My breakdown in February showed me that.

Every single day since she was five days old I've wondered if she'd be better off being adopted. Everyone kept telling me it was the depression talking and that I'd get better. Instead, I've got worse.

If she comes home, I'm terrified that with no family, virtually no support network and professionals who have exhausted every avenue, I'll end up having another serious breakdown. I know I'd never hurt her, but I'm genuinely scared I won't survive it myself.

If I choose adoption, I lose the chance to be her mum every day. Because of everything that's happened, her godfather has been very clear that co-parenting isn't an option. If he adopts her, I'd likely only see her a handful of times a year.

It feels like an impossible choice:

• Risk bringing her home knowing how unwell I am and how isolated we are.

• Or let the person I trust most adopt her so she has stability, support and a family.

Neither option feels survivable.

So I suppose I'm asking...

Has anyone here raised a child completely alone with no support at all? How did you cope? How did you survive the loneliness?

Or has anyone made the decision to let someone else raise their child because they believed it was in their child's best interests? Do you regret it? Was it the right decision?

Please be kind. I'm already carrying enough guilt to last a lifetime. I just want to do what's best for my little girl, even if it breaks my own heart

To keep it brief, I've been struggling with my wife and our marriage since around the third month of her postpartum journey. It was at this time that I went back to work (March through mid-May) and could sense a switch almost immediately. I would be gone from 7 AM to 4 PM and as soon as I came home would take over caring for the baby. I did most of the household tasks as well (cleaning, dishes, laundry, trash) and took care of our dog (his nightly walks, etc.) She was still exhausted and very lethargic, but I expected this and didn't try to push for any type of intimacy or do anything that would have added any additional stress. But she began making odd comments around this time (talking about her ex, bringing up how I might be better suited for other women -- and the women were not as attractive as my wife) and became increasingly passive aggressive ("well I could do \[task\] if the goal was for it to only be 90% done" -- an example that springs to mind is me bringing the trash out, the dog whining when I came in and putting water in his bowl before replacing trash bag. She threw something out during this window and made the remark).

In mid-May our roles swapped and I took the back half of my leave when she returned to work (it fed into my summer break - I teach - and so I am still off now). Since she has gone back to work and the comments have only increased and I am running out of patience with the postpartum hormonal excuse. I do all of the childcare and still do 90% of household tasks. I was hospitalized for a few days (she was pissed I originally suggested I needed to go to the ER) around her third week back and she was clearly bothered by this, and for the next five days after I returned she kept talking about how exhausted she was and how she needed to catch up on sleep. She logged off from work the Thursday and Friday night of that week, only interacted with our daughter and didn't speak to me for about 48 hours. She then told friends and family that she had been worried sick about me and had wished "I'd slow down and ask for help." She also made comments that I have a high pain tolerance so she was concerned when I went to the ER (again, she told me not to go morning of). It didn't make much sense given that her actions were not aligned to that reality.

As I am approaching my return to work, she is increasingly annoyed with me, and two days ago when we were driving to our daycare (meet the staff) she kept snapping at me that I was going to tell them useless information (on the intake sheet it asked what her current day-to-day looks like and I mentioned stroller walks). She slammed the car door when we arrived and didn't talk to me during the meet & greet or on the ride home. I've tried asking about how she's feeling and her only response is "it's not that deep". She continues to take shots at me, telling me that if I lose my hair she'd be annoyed (I haven't had any hair loss -- and she frequently talks about how her ex went bald) and that my face care is lazy (I have no breakouts).

I have been hesitant to really address any of these as she clearly has a lot on her plate and none of these behaviors seem characteristic of the woman I married and knew pre-pregnancy. I'm trying to give her time but I am also starting to feel incredibly isolated and it's clear to me that I'm not even in the top 5 in terms of priorities. Any advice would be appreciated, or thoughts. Honestly I just needed to vent this somewhere.

I was not prepared for how powerless I feel 48 hours postpartum. Which is crazy because I just did objectively one of the most powerful, most hardcore things living beings can do, I just pushed a baby out into the world. But I feel absolutely depleted and like I’m failing and like I’m going to fail. My baby was induced at 37 weeks because I had hypertension developing into preeclampsia, my little girl is VERY little and struggling to breast feed, can’t stay latched. I’m pumping but producing drops at a time. We keep using donor milk which helps keep her fed, but what about tomorrow when we go home and there’s no donor milk and just me and my 4-5 mL per pump? I have a second degree tear, can’t go pee without crying. My husband is an absolute gift from God and has entirely been handling diaper changes, swaddling, picking her up and down, rocking her when she won’t stop crying, etc etc etc etc, which I’m grateful for him but I feel like I’m not doing enough in any aspect. I can’t stop crying, I feel like I’m already fucking up and we’ve barely even started.

I’m 24 F and my Husband is 24 M. When we met I just gotten out of a pretty abusive relationship, mentally and physical. I met my husband and I had a 1 year old boy from that previous relationship. My husband accepted my son as his own and my son (now 3) always copies him and tells me that he wants to be just like him.
Anyways, after me and my husband moved in with eachother while we were dating . I found out I was pregnant. This around the same time I was graduating college so a lot was going on. Right after I found out I was pregnant I called him crying because I was scared and worried and he rushed home and comforted me and told me that he was excited to be a dad and he eventually proposed to me to which I said yes. We eventually eloped when I was 4 months pregnant and made it official.
While pregnant, I got a good job with my degree and started earning more and contributing to our house more. I worked M-F 7-3pm and call shifts. I work in surgery so it was a pretty demanding and exhausting especially while I was pregnant. During the whole time I was pregnant I worked full time, took care of 90% of the house chores and a toddler. I was beyond exhausted 24/7. My husband would help now and then around the house and other small things but he was working 50-60 hour weeks in order to help prepare for our baby, holidays and to provide for our toddler at home. During this time I understood why my husband was providing for us and giving us extra funds for things to do as a family and preparing for a newborn.

When I gave birth to my daughter. The whole labor , my husband was beyond supportive . He was so proud to be a brand new dad and showed our daughter every chance he got. It made me feel so good. My husband also grew an even closer bond with my son because of our new baby. He made sure to always include my son so he wouldn’t feel jealously about a newborn in the house.

At 3 months post partum, I hit a slump. I was usually taking care of the baby and toddler while also breastfeeding, doing most of the house chores still, working full time and cooking our meals. I started to fall into a depression and when I opened up to my husband about this he kinda shoved it off and offered a vasectomy. He thought my new birth control was throwing my hormones off. At the time it made sense so I just changed our conversation.

Now, I’m 7 months post partum. I have bad anxiety, still breastfeeding, still working full time, still have my baby and toddler most of the time , still providing dinners and doing 90% of the house chores. Luckily I have switched my schedule to 3 12 hour shifts with no call. I get 4 days off in a row to be home with my kids. My husband stays home with the kids on the 3 days a week I do work. During this time , he doesn’t do house chores, laundry and usually just orders take out for him and the kids for lunch and dinner.
I understand Cleaning with a 7 month baby that is basically attached to my hip feels impossible but my husband doesn’t even try on his days off. Because he says it’s too hard. Also Trying to keep my toddler entertained and limit his screen time is also feels impossible most days but I’ll usually take both the kids out to splash pads, library events, story times and parks. My husband stays home all day with them, no activities unless he takes them to his mom’s house.
My husband will come home from work and see the same messes, piles of laundry, dirty kitchen from dinner and toys scattered and totally ignore it. And ignore it FOREVER. If I don’t clean it or pick it up then it will stay as it is. When laundry gets backed up then he might do a load but then he’ll just throw the clean pile on our couch and never put it up.

My husband will golf occasionally, not as often as before and play on his PC from time to time. I’ve grown resentful towards my husband, i feel like our relationship has grown distant and when I get upset that he hasn’t helped me with things around the house then he tells me that all I have to do is ask him. Why do I need to ask him if we see the same messes around the house? I also have mentioned wanting more time for self care and being alone like he has with golfing and gaming and he tells me I need to find a hobby. This upsets me because how can I have hobby and run a house, do baths and make sure dinner is done. Our laundry is non stop. Recently I bought a gym membership in hopes to use that as my “hobby”. After coming home from the gym , my husband started making remarks about my “gym bf”. I just ignored it. I feel like I’m only good enough for him when he needs me to be. He mentions how he doesn’t do much house work because he provides. I also work full time. Our relationship feels detached and distant. I love my husband for the man I know he is but lately I have grown so much resentment towards him because I feel like i am over looked and not appreciated. I have to ask him to watch our daughter so I can shower. I’ll cook a entire meal with her on my hip , serve him and my toddler a plate and he never offers to help clean up, or even to let me eat for once without a baby on me. I feel alone and isolated and when I’ve brought this up to my husband then he jokingly says it’s because I have no friends. yeah I don’t. I’m a 24 year old with two young kids, most of my friends I had ending growing distant because I was having kids while they continued to do what’s people in their early 20’s do, no hard feelings there. Me and my husband used to feel like best friends and we’d do everything together but now it’s so distant. He does still have his friends and will call them, play pc with them and see them here and there and it’s a like day and night between the way he gets excited with them versus me.

I just don’t know what to do, I know my hormones are insane but I can’t even remember the last time my husband complimented me, or even hugged me. I feel so alone in this relationship. We also have two young demanding kids and jobs so is this normal?