Just wanted to share this post from Facebook regarding a soccer game tonight in Peterborough. Find it incredibly frustrating to hear about referees facing abuse yet alone youth referees.
PSA to all you parents with youth in sports, if you want your kids to play games be kind to the referees (especially kid referees)
No Ref. No Game.
This isn't the first time I've shared an honest reflection on the treatment of youth referees, but if you see a post like this from me, unfortunately, it's because the situation doesn't appear to be getting any better.
Tonight, I officiated a U10 competitive match. The growth in skill, teamwork, and game intelligence among young players is incredible to watch, and it's easy to see why our provincial and national programs continue to improve. But there's a darker side to these games.
Too often, adults treat these games like World Cup finals. Every decision is scrutinized. Coaches and parents openly question even the most experienced officials, and youth referees are criticized for doing their best while learning the game.
During my match, coaches publicly challenged decisions they themselves didn't fully seem to understand. “I’m just asking a question ref”, I was told after their arms had been raised in disbelief, in dispute really, to my decisions. Fun fact: when the whole park can see your disrespect and distrust in a decision by your gestures, you’re not “just asking a question.” I chose not to share with them that I I’ve been refereeing for over 20 years, and not that long ago at the highest level in the province, that I’m an Ontario Soccer Instructor, that I oversee the referee mentor program in our District because in a U-10 development game, that shouldn’t be relevant, that shouldn’t be necessary.
Afterward, I watched a teenage referee on a nearby field face the same treatment, with adults loudly disputing his calls and questioning his knowledge. It reached a point where I found myself standing between the coaches from both teams asking why they were yelling at a minor who appeared to make a reasonable game decision. When I stepped in, the response from the coach was, "the referee should know the rules better at this level."
But what level are we talking about? These are development leagues. Players are developing. Coaches are developing. Referees are developing too.
If youth referees who I can see are trying their best, who are confident and who care, can't learn, grow, and make mistakes in a U10 development league, where can they? These are the referees who disappear, who quit after a season or two...and can we blame them?
No Ref. No Game. It's that simple.
More importantly, every time an adult berates an official, they're teaching young players that disrespect is acceptable. Is that really the lesson we want to pass on?
Referees do a great job supporting and mentoring one another, but we can't be the only ones. If you've ever witnessed inappropriate behaviour toward an official, did you speak up? Did you report it? Did you tell that referee they did a good job?
Supporting youth officials is everyone's responsibility. If you'd like advice on how to respond to or report inappropriate conduct, please don't hesitate to reach out. And to the many friends and colleagues in my network whom do their part, thank you. It matters.
