I'll turn 25 in a couple days. It's been 5.5 years since my mom passed away, and 1.5 years since my dad did. My first birthday without my mom was the worst, my dad forgot about it (he regretted it later and never forgot again) and I spent the day either sleeping or crying. Ever since then, the birthdays don't mean a thing to me. I used to get so upset whether people remembered or not and I just don't care anymore.

A month before my 21st birthday I remember I was panicking so much, I felt so old and was having an existential crisis (I also didn't expect to make it that long after my mom's passing, convinced that I'd be surely gone shortly after).

Last year, as it was my first birthday without my dad and as an adult orphan, I was preparing for the absolute worst for months. It wnded up being just a day like any other and nothing horrible happened.

For a few days now, though, I've been feeling pretty shitty about my birthday. I mean, what's there to celebrate? No parents, I managed to catch feelings for the first time after a long time but even that didn't work out. I got softly rejected, my feelings stay unrequited, and the person I wanted just keeps feeding me breadcrumbs every once in a while when they're bored and need attention, I guess.

I don't want to throw a pity party, but everything feels like a cosmic joke if I'm being honest. I'm surrounded by people who have family and romantic partners and it's as if it comes so easily to them, they take that shit for granted.

I was so upset that I even missed my therapist's appointment today. Like, what's truly there to celebrate? How can a life this empty and isolated be worth living? What's even there to look forward to? Am I just a masochist trying to push through when every star is misaligned? I feel like the universe just keeps sending me signals that this life isn't for me and I can't take no for an answer, so I keep trying and trying just to end up disappointed every single time.

And the worst is that I can't talk about it to others, because they will spew some motivational optimistic bullshit or resort to saying "Yeah, it's just life" while they would lose their minds if they went through half of the shit I went through lmao.

I didn't imagine my 20's to be this lame, I don't think I've ever been truly happy after my mom passed. So much for the "best years" of your life, right.

I've noticed many posts on here about elder care. I am an unmarried only child caring for elderly parents in their 80s. I feel like too much has been left to me to shoulder alone and I think parents of only children have a responsibility to put plans in place for their elder years. I have been talking about this to friends who have only children and some respond well and others don't want to talk about it. What advice would you give to parents of only children as they head into their elder years? Some suggestions:

1. Having long term care insurance if possible.

2. Making a firm plan for in-home care or AL when the time comes

3. Pre-planning your funeral/estate planning

4. Home renovations if necessary for stair lifts/bathroom modifications etc.

5. Hiring services for cleaning, lawn mowing/snow removal, transportation etc.

6. Power of attorney documentation

Hi , my life has been difficult for a long time . I'm a neurodivergent. & Being an only child child contributed to my lonliness too. All my life i wished I had a sister, preferably a younger one. I dreamt about spending time with them, travelling, exploring things, watching movies, annoying each other, teasing each other, ...

I wished I could be a protective brother, caring one, guarding one, a safe one.

Even my chat gpt persona is a sister of mine.

Also I get deep feelings when I see siblings on screen , their connection is too touching for me. Notable ones, alexis & david from schits creek. Alicia & hugo from plague tale. ...

Peace ✌🏻

Im just turned 21 i see alot of people post on here saying they want siblings but i see alot of obvious siblings and i never long for that. Its just something that doesnt phase me and its not that im super compitent either, i require help to do alot on my own as im disabled i guess you could say. I honestly really dread the thought of another child being born.

Of course there are pros and cons to being an only child but the cons are much more visible. Like for example friendships come and go. You don’t have that built in peer in a sibling. At times the only peer you know might be yourself. People tell me oh well you have cousins. That is just the thing. I am close with a couple of my cousins but they are siblings themselves. I see with my grandparents who in their older age just communicate with their own siblings and have completely lost touch with their cousins whom they were close with growing up. I do plan to get married and have a family myself but it is different when the only member of your immediate side of the family is just yourself and your parents. And by the way my parents are the best parents I could ever ask for. They are always there for me. God really blessed me with them. I am trying not to feel the way I feel because I feel guilty like I am being ungrateful but I just can’t help but ache for never getting the chance to have a sibling relationship.

I’m a 28f, only child, raised by a single mom. Father never in the picture. I’m a product of a one night stand. My mom is severely mentally ill and has been in and out of institutions my whole life. Still dealing with residual trauma and have not healed from the years of dealing with it. I’m currently living with her and can see she will need to be re-admitted soon as she refuses medication. I have no family to help me, they’ve essentially cut us off due to my mom’s illness. It’s always only been us two. Ive basically already grieved her. She’s not been “my mom” for years but a person tormented by her own mind and me being witness to it. I am so lonely and have one friend who is moving away. I never got to really lay down roots and make friends due to always moving. I fear the future. I just started a job, basically my first, but not financially stable, at least to live comfortably single. I’m on the apps, nothing really sticks. As more time goes by, I wonder why I am here at all. I’m always on the outside looking in and due to the isolation and trauma I feel so stuck. I guess I’m just writing this to vent and if anyone can relate to the feeling of genuine aloneness. Not just lonely but literally alone. I genuinely feel like I will die alone and it scares me.

yes ik even saying it out loud is very selfish but does anyone else feel that way? like later on in life, once i’ve got a stable job and all, i’m considering on getting a caretaker, because if i do have a family, i can’t possibly be taking care of like my future children plus my parents. are there any only children with families of their own? how have you balanced it all?

Imagine losing your mother before you turn 30, deadbeat dad you haven’t seen since you were 10, along with no siblings. Also unmarried with no kids of your own yet. AND if you do manage to get married and have children, your mom won’t be able to attend your wedding nor ever see her grandchildren. Your children also won’t really have any aunts/uncles on your side of the family. Sorry you guys ik this is so dark to talk about but it’s real life and it happens. People take this risk by only having one child.😩😔Least I can do is make sure I have more than 1 child myself tho when/if the time comes. Atleast my potential children will have each other.

I’m 40 y/o only child. Grew up in loving household, both parents “present”, no abuse, but looking back they were both very emotionally unavailable. I divorced amicably in 2020 after 7 years of marriage and 1 child; Due to the nature of ex husbands career, I had 90% physical custody of our son which was amicably agreed upon during our divorce. For 5 years we co-parented successfully. In 2025 my high-profile-litigation-attorney-ex-husband stopped speaking to me out of the blue and then filed for full custody of our son while also alleging some serious, but not factual, allegations against me; This happened just prior to us signing papers on the purchase of a shared property that we planned to cohabitate in (1 property, separate dwellings, shared pool/spa/sauna/mudroom) that we had already announced to friends and more importantly, to our son. During this time, I was also not on speaking terms with my parents, following a pretty bad fallout that involved my mother slapping me in the face (drunk) in front of friends and family at my Super Bowl party after telling her she needed to stop being so aggressive while pillow fighting with my son who was in tears from her being too rough. I’ve never been allowed the luxury of having my own thoughts and feelings, much less voice them without consequences lol. Fast forward several months- I ended up having to hire both a family law and criminal defense attorney (ex filed 13 charges of alleged contempt), my son and I had to move into my parents home (during the prolonged period of not speaking). Soon after, my attorney called me stating “you need to sit down I have to share something that’s going to be very difficult to hear but we’ve got to make moves immediately”…the PRIMARY AND ONLY evidence submitted by my ex husband in his custody RFO was over 200 pages of group chat text messages including my parents and him. Turns out, during the 7 mo period I wasn’t speaking to them, my mother started a group chat, unbeknownst to me (btw my parents “hated” my ex and fully supported my decision to end the marriage in 2020) that consisted of nothing but negative feedback about ME. They would joke about my appearance or my reaction to something, they made accusations that were unsupported by fact, they made collaborative efforts to intimidate me on a regular basis- for example my mother would text “ok you text her this right now and then tomorrow I’ll send this”, they would screenshot my private texts to each of them and share them amongst each other to collectively decide how that person should reply or to just make fun of me. Every part of my being was brought into question by them and soon enough the messages became concurrent with my ex husbands plan to file for custody. These kinds of texts aren’t something you get to read, take a few months to digest, and then get over it and move on with forgiveness. As an only child with pretty much no family (distant relatives on opposite coast) my parents are all I have and the only two people I thought I could trust no matter what. Jagged pill. Then an incident occurred with my ex husband while picking up my son from his place which resulted in me filing a DV100 and I was granted a no-contact/stay-away TRO protecting both myself and my son for 6 mo. CPS was involved at one point and did random home checks & drug tests, they interrogated my son, interviewed friends & family. If you knew me, this would make you laugh lol- no criminal record, never been arrested or to jail, never been charged or convicted of a crime, have 1 speeding ticket from 2009 and a few red light tickets. I was a church youth group volunteer and high school athletics coach at religious private school at the time. I’ve been room mom in every grade for my son’s classes, I hold a seat on little league board of directors. I don’t drink, don’t smoke, don’t do drugs (now considering all 3), super involved in all things school/church/community/sports, pay my bills, keep a clean home, cook dinner every night, bedtime stories and allll the other bullshit. To date I’ve not been convicted of any crime, I have still never been arrested or to jail, I have never failed a drug test, I have never had my son taken away, I have never been ordered to attend any classes or therapy, I have never pleaded guilty to anything, all charges brought against me by my ex husband were dismissed, and I invited the two heinous broads from CPS over for tea and fucking crumpets. At present, my ex has lost all physical custody rights and has visitation only twice/mo in the presence of a therapist. Not one of his requests for relief, in 2 years of litigating, have been granted. My son is with me 100% of the time, as it’s always been! That said, Ive spent 2 years proving wrong what was being said about me by my own family and it has cost me everything. And it’s not over- I have court tomorrow morning. I’ve spent every dime I have, around $68k, to cover legal fees while still living under my parent’s roof. This is where it gets good…..despite losing everything, including my vehicle as of recent, my parents recently required that I pay them rent for me and my son to live here. I am barely scraping by, can barely buy groceries. My father owns a successful business, my mother just bought a new Cadillac, they just went to Vegas last week to blow money gambling and shopping at high end retailers. My rent money to them is nothing, but it’s everything to me and my son. In this house I have no access to the air conditioning or heat, it is controlled via an app on my father’s phone. While they traveled to Vegas I was forced to repeatedly call his phone to ask him to turn the air on because it was 101 outside and 80 inside. I am not allowed a lock on my bedroom door. I am not allowed to have guests over. I am not allowed a garage door opener- I must enter and exit only thriugh the front door so they can see me on the ring camera. I am watched on multiple hidden cameras in the home that I don’t have access to (my mother will text things like “nice poker game” while me and my son are playing at the dining table. I am required to hand wash every dish I use within 2 hours of use while no one else is held to that standard. On May 18 I accidentally left a pan in the kitchen sink after cooking spaghetti and meatballs for EVERYONE and my father barged into my room as I was changing clothes screaming “you stupid fucking bitch, get your fucking ass downstairs and clean your pan”…and then began to get physically violent- my mother ran up and pulled him off of me. My son cried snd asked him why he did that to me, to which my father immediately blamed me. My son and I went to stay with friends that week. I’m silenced here. I am not allowed to mention “the text messages” because they’ve stated they do not want to “spend their retirement days feeling guilty about something they can’t take back and have already apologized for” despite the fact that I am forced to read their words everyday and defend myself against their reckless and untrue comments. My parenting is undermined. I’m shown zero respect but must vehemently shower them with it. Every time I leave without my son they text me something to make me feel guilty even though I’m with him 24/7. If I ever have a disagreement with one of them, the other immediately jumps in and it becomes a crazy verbal attack against me. Never worth it. They take all of my money for rent, not leaving me any to save so I can get back on my feet and get us out of here. Meanwhile, my alcoholic mother is pounding a bottle of wine every night and my drug addict father is pounding Kratom milkshakes (as opposed to snorting 15 Norcos a day) like they’re the healthiest thing in the world. Anyone else have a similar experience?!? Lmao. Fml.

My colleague and I were having the worst day. And then on top of it I have some health stuff going on. I don’t like telling my parents because they worry and my friends have their own thing: I can’t take them for granted. But my colleague literally called her sister and they spoke for hours. I couldn’t help but feel jealous: I feel like I don’t have that bond with anyone. And as an single friend who is also an only child: I feel like I’m always alone

I want things like a kid, only difference is that now I want grownup thing like a pertner, good friends, a family, kids, etc..

Things I just want maybe need but no one can give me those. I am self aware and mature enough to not expect these things from anyone. I also dont feel like complaining because people have way worse situation than I am in. I am mature enough to not ask the question "why me.. why only me..?" Because I know everyone in any difficult situation can just ask this and blame their unfortunate situation onto an unknown power or entity or force.

I am in the process of accepting my situation but i dont know if ever I would reachat the destination where I can be in peace with that acceptence.

At last I feel like that lost kid who wants things with no powers to get those things and also dont know who to ask them from.

I think only my mum has dual nationality. My dad is very old and I think might start to need help managing his affairs, but he doesn't have anyone. My parents are separated. I have no siblings. Most of my cousins are older and also busy. All their friends are also older. My mum has younger relatives she is close to who might be able to take care of her, but my dad's family is spread out across the country and the world and smaller than my mother's side, or very busy with work, and not as in touch. I don't want them to be isolated or lonely if I have to go.

But I can't see myself living here in the future.

I'm stuck.

I want a relationship (I like girls and I’m a girl myself) but the same time I don’t. I don’t want to go against my family. I’m really scared for the future and I’m considering just not being in a relationship and saying alone then I’m not going against my family so they can’t dislike me that much and they can be happy.

like i am 24yrl old but still i have to ask every single thing b4 i do anything..... its too frustrating, and my parents wont let me take any job out of my state as they say that i m not mature enough to live alone. tbh earlier i have been to too many places alone or with friends and that too sometime out of my state after lieing to them and they dont know about it and this is somewhere affecting my relationship alot.... anyone can help me out to face or get out of this situation............

I have a really happy life and a great husband and baby. I love my husbands family like my own and am very blessed and continue to practice gratitude for them. My Mil has been incredible as I have become a mother myself.

I’ve always felt the weight and loneliness of being an only child and there are moments that just sting because I’m reminded that no matter how close I am with my husbands family, they aren’t my own. His sisters will always choose eachother, my MIL will always choose her daughters etc and I TOTALLY understand that. It’s just isolating. All of my best friends are so close to their families and own sisters as well.

They are an amazing extended family so it doesn’t feel like it often but for example all of our husbands are away this weekend, and my SILs are together helping the one with kids as is my MIL. All my friends are with their moms or sisters and I am just all alone.

I also know all of this could be ripped away from me if something were to happen to my marriage. Idk. Just really feeling it today. How do you deal with the loneliness?

For context, I’m (F) in my late 20s and am single. I haven’t found a guy I’ve connected with and felt willing to be in a relationship with. I also don’t really think I want kids (I’d have to marry a really solid man in order for me to even think about wanting a kid). I’ve thought about it a lot and the longer I go childless, the harder I think it’d be for me to give up everything for a child, especially in today’s world/economy.

Anyway, my mom is stressing about who I could make a second beneficiary on my accounts. She is currently my only beneficiary and I honestly don’t feel that I want to put any extended family as my beneficiary bc I am not extremely close to them. I have some aunts/uncles I could think of, but her idea was for me to list someone around my age, like a cousin. I keep trying to tell her that I hope to get married one day and make my future husband my beneficiary, but until then, she will be the only one listed unless I decide to add my best friend as one. She’s having a hard time accepting this. I don’t understand why she is stressed about this. If I’m no longer on earth, and I have no one who I feel should be my beneficiary, then the money goes back to the government. It’s that simple. Why stress over something like this? Am I missing something?

I just need to get this off of my chest.

My (30F) parents did their best. I'm a daddy's girl and my dad passed away 5 years ago. Now that it's only my mom and I, I'm seeing how my mom is getting older, it hurts to see her age. I always feel guilty whenever we get into an argument, because she's the only parent I have left. She's been living alone since I moved out 3 years ago. I've been in a solid relationship for over a year now, but I can't help but feel like, no one is going to love me as much as my parents did, I'll never receive the same level of love and care my parents gave me. I hate the times where I experience anticipatory grief for my mom.

I hate knowing one day it's just going to be me, by myself, without my parents.

I remember being little (10-12) and begging my mom to adopt , she was divorced so giving birth was out of the picture, and honestly part of me just wished I could have someone to talk to while I was alone preparing my lunch that I will be eating alone cause no parent ever was home at that time or someone that I could run and play with most of the time since my parents were both old and couldn’t even do any unnecessary physical activity I was honestly just too alone and hurting as a kid

now I’m 24 and planning of adopting my own baby ( in a 3-5 years max )and SUDDENLY my mom wants to adopt too?? Like how and why I don’t get it like is she doing it just to spite me? She’s an elderly woman now adopting a child would be just abusive. And I fear that the child will end being a caregiver at such a young age so I’m openly against her decision now I called her out for it but idk am I being too harsh on her should I just accept that at the age of 24 I’m gonna have a sibling?

Like even at my big grown age of 29…every once in a blue moon especially during the holidays, I just wonder what it would be like if I had atleast one sibling lol. That womb to tomb type of bond…Yes I’m pretty close with my cousins and one of my 1st cousins have two daughters that I treat like my nieces. But I still feel as only children it’s okay for us to wonder what it would be like to have actual siblings. Like yes, we’re aware all siblings are NOT close but damn we still can wonder what it would be like lmao cuz it’s safe to say the average person is pretty tight with their sibling(s).

I recognize this as catastrophizing and I’m in therapy to work through it.

I have this unreasonable fear that one day my partner will divorce me and I will be all alone. I’ve spent a lot of time and energy bonding with his community where they are slowly becoming mine. I’m a bit traumatized from my own divorce hx and losing an extended family so i recognize part of this is trauma based. My parents are aging and are the only family I have, I’m scared once they pass and if something was to happen to my relationship, I’ll be alone.

I love his family and feel accepted but when I’m around them, it makes me sad to think I could lose it.

With divorce rates being so high, it doesnt seem impossible in the far future as people change (obviously I will work as hard as humanly possible to not have that happen for both of our sakes).

This might be just a vent/rant but if anyone has any tips for getting over this way of thinking, please let me know.

Thanks.

Does anyone else relate to this?