Hi all! Can anyone recommend an online workout app or personal trainer that specializes in perimenopausal fitness and weight loss? 🙏

been seeing alot of posts here about people who feel like their doctor kinda brushes off their symptoms, saying things like "thats normal" when someone brings up brain fog or random heart racing.

whats interesting is the hot flashes seem to be the one thing everyone gets warned about, but stuff like joint pain outta nowhere catches alot of people off guard.

curious what this community thinks — did most of you have to push for a doctor who actually listens, or did people get lucky first try? and if anyone has tips for dealing with brain fog specifically, that seems like a common one people struggle with, especially at work

We talk a lot about hot flashes and night sweats, but menopause comes with so many symptoms that rarely get mentioned before they happen — joint pain, brain fog, itchy skin, heart palpitations, changes in body odor, the list goes on.

Curious to hear from this community: what symptom caught you completely off guard? Did your doctor take it seriously, or did you have to figure it out yourself?

Also — for those of you further along in the process, what do you wish someone had told you at the very beginning?

All of my life I have dealt with horrid depression and anxiety-- so many mental health issues that went undiagnosed and untreated, until the pandemic. I basically fell apart at 40 in 2020. I was forced, finally, to choose to put the work in to heal or to just give up.

I chose to fight for my mental health. And I won. I did it. I clawed my way out of a lifetime of darkness. I asked for help. And I didn't stop until I could see the light.

It wasn't easy. There was the relentless slog of finding quality care. I weeded through 3 therapists over a few years until I found a good one. The skilled one I ended up sticking with started EMDR and my life started to change. At the same time, I was misdiagnosed by one terrible psychiatrist, then had another shitty one that was really unhelpful with medications, then FINALLY got one that was compassionate and listened. I went to therapy 3 days a week for a while, I got on the right meds, and I found a gyno who specializes in peri and menopause and got on HRT later on at 42.

Now, 6 years after near total collapse I am 46. I can say beyond the shadow of a doubt that I have never, ever been more stable, confident, and calm than I have been for the last 2 years of my life. I feel positive, grateful for the smallest things, and... content? That is a sensation I never experienced before-- even in childhood. Setbacks knock me down for less than a day, and not a month. Frustrations don't leave me in a puddle on the floor. I cry, dust myself off and I get up again and live because nothing is as bad as living with untreated mental health issues for half of an entire life. My perspective has changed for the better. I am stronger. Insecurities have fallen away. I see myself as worthy, compassionate, and intelligent. My marriage is better than it has ever been. I learned how to communicate. I learned how to be a better partner, and he did too.

But now, the hardest part is that all my friends are sinking into the misery of perimenopause. They sound like the other subreddit 24/7. Or worse, some are refusing to accept perimenopause as a reality (fear of aging?). Others are in a terrible place in life with divorce or grief, or coping with anhedonia, depression, or anxiety from inadequately treated symptoms. I hand out my gynecologist's info to folks all the time. I give out my therapist's name. I try to be a living example that these things work. I try to offer assurance and hope. I try to offer reassurance that this can be overcome. And I just feel as though some of my closest friends see my happiness and healthiness as a threat or an insult. I feel I have no one to call to share exciting news with, or make fun plans with, I have very few people to revel in this hard earned joy I have now. I feel I am constantly editing myself, holding back, and spending time with people who would rather talk about their despair, how shitty the state of the world is (fine, it is! Yes!), and how crappy they feel.

Everything isn't perfect in my life either. I deal with significant back pain and joint pain. Some of my deepest dreams in life, I realize may never come to fruition because so much of my life was wasted in quiet pain and shame. But it just isn't crushing my spirit any more.

I find myself getting pretty angry at others for their lack of resolve, their wallowing, self-medicating with alcohol and because I feel that I have to suppress speaking of all the exciting, fun or positive things in my life so I don't make other people feel bad. I have gone from a lifetime feeling alone with the pain of trauma and mental illness, to a period of time feeling alone with my happiness. I don't know what to do! I am so pissed that I have all this energy, wonder and delight finally and no female friends to share it with.

I have a wide community where I live. This is not because of a lack of friends. I am someone who makes new friends fairly frequently and the only folks that are any fun to be around are my friends that are significantly younger. Which is why I think perimenopause is partially to blame for this!

All this to say... if you feel at all the same, please tell me so! I want to hear your joy, your success and your happiness. What are you proud of at this time in your life? What have you discovered? What do you look forward to? Fill this comment section with delights, with joys, and tell me what's good for you. I need to know i am not alone in my healing and in my happiness. Please.

Bonjour a toutes

Post menopausee depuis 4 ans , toujours bcp anxiete et pensees intrusives.

Certaines se reconnaissent elles ?

Si oui, quels ont etes vos remedes si je puis dire.

Merci

I did it all... Mom of a large family, homeschooling, admin for my husband's business, my own work from home stuff, MLMs, volunteer at the local non profit, book clubs, kids clubs, church. All of it... every time I'd take on something new, someone would say, " i dunno how you do it all" or "are you sure you have time for that?" Used to drive me nuts.

Then we moved out to an acreage, out of town, 30 minutes from everything. I got goats. And I slowly released the "things". Sole proprietary stuff first, finished out the terms with the non profits, cut back to 1 book club and then left that one too, deleted most of my social media. I say no WAY more often.

And now, I love life... most days... (today is hard so I'm purposely looking for the positives.) I walk outside with my milk pail and spend an hour with these critters that bring so much joy... (the ones who don't, feed us and that helps the budget.) We decided to live life instead of staying in the rat race. And I have NO IDEA how I did all that stuff!! I just don't have time. My kids, 2-legged and 4, need me more than anything out there in the world.

I have learned to value my time and my energy. I've learned where I need to put that energy.

So happy to have found this, the menopause sub just made me feel worse and worse the more I read. I'm new to this delightful journey and will land here when I feel myself spiraling so that I can celebrate all of our wins with this fabulous community.

When I wake in the wee morning hours with my heart pounding and have trouble falling back to sleep, I have changed my thinking from "ugh this sucks that I can literally hear my heartbeat and I can't sleep" to "oh nice, I'm alive and my
heart is beating to prove it" 😀

(Yes I've seen a cardiologist and all is clear so no heart problems)

About to see the doc for this and am curious how HRT has affected you.

Revolution!!!

I didn’t tracked very properly so I don’t know exactly how long since my period stopped. I think more than 2 years.

For me, all this time the toughest thing is not hot flashes and waking up in the middle of the night. It’s the body fat really gets to my belly even I didn’t eat much and I am avoiding to stand on the scale. Good part is I realised this already and trying to do some more sports. Share your moments and I hope we will get over this smoothly.

I’ve been thinking about how poorly served we are by existing health tools and the short visits at the doctors couldn’t really help to answer our questions.

I have a few questions don’t know how you think about them.

1. What’s the one thing you track or wish you could track about your body during this time?

2. When you’re having a rough symptom day, what kind of support actually helps — information, validation, practical tips, or just someone acknowledging it?

3. Has anyone tried food/lifestyle changes that surprisingly helped? What made you try them?

For myself, I wish I could know about menopause a bit earlier and the off about my period wasn’t all from the birth control pills I took and stopped. That was actually something going on about menopause. So I wouldn’t be surprised when I realised it’s been months since my last period. I logged my period on apple health but I wish it could warn me “hey, your period is getting irregular. Considering your age, maybe you need to think about perimenopause.”

When I had hot flashes, knowing some breathing method and ways to deal with it actually helped.

I am trying to eat healthier. And stop drinking alcohol (not even a glass of wine) when I found out my hot flashes got worse with alcohol.

Curious to hear your experience.

In different phases of my life, I’ve sang at the top of my lungs certain songs written by women who expressed something I was feeling in that season.

Angie McMahon’s Letting Go came on this morning, spoke to how I have been feeling, and reminded me. I realized I don’t have songs for perimenopause.

What are y’all listening to to inspire/rage/feel seen/feel powerful?

(For some reason this post was deleted by mods in r/menopause. 🤷🏻‍♀️)

Check out this great post from our sister sub!!

Hi everyone,

Last year I made a post saying that if I ever won the lottery, I’d leave half the money for my family, write a note, and disappear for a year. A lot of you said you’d come with me 😄

That idea stuck with me.

I’ve been a military spouse for 26 years, and while my husband has traveled all over the world, I’ve barely gone anywhere. I didn’t even get my passport until I was 50. I’ve been dealing with a lot of frustration, insomnia, and honestly… burnout.

At the time, I didn’t realize there were already retreats for women going through menopause. But when I looked into them, most felt either very clinical or overly structured. That’s not what I’m looking for.

What I want is something that feels like a real vacation… but also offers support, connection, and maybe a little learning mixed in. A place to relax, reset, and meet other women going through similar things.

So I started thinking… what if I created something like that?

I’ve been quietly researching the idea in my spare time, and now I’m wondering if this is something other women would actually want.

Would you go to a resort like that?

And if so, what would you want it to include?

Also, if anyone has experience starting something like this… how do you even begin? Is this the kind of thing people invest in?

I’d really appreciate any honest feedback

I was recently listening to a youtube video about the benefits of cycling progesterone instead of taking it every day. As it makes me quite groggy in the mornings I thought I would try it to see how much livelier I feel.

So obviously I got a small breakthrough period which I expected because if I forget my progesterone for a day I always get a little bit of bleeding (all checked and totally normal).

I have also started on vaginal oestrogen as well as systemic gel as things were declining a bit and in need of a boost ! Also I alternate vaginal prog with oral prog to again minimise the grogginess effect.

So while walking around the shopping centre today I suddenly realised I needed to go and put on a pad…

My brain was trying to remember exactly what the cause was .. options 1) vaginal oestrogen ?

2) vaginal progesterone? 3) breakthrough period from cycling prog instead of taking every day?

I then couldn’t decide as I had brain fog after my testosterone levels blood test 😂😂😂

I had to laugh because there’s so much to think about in menopause isn’t there! I never thought it would be so complicated but feel blessed to be serviced by a good medical system that allows me to maximise longevity and sexual health through hormones we have available.

I feel for my mum who was only allowed a few years of HRT and is now suffering bone decline that might well have been somewhat prevented had she got the estradiol I now get each month .

I was at the gym today and all of a sudden I thought, wow I am awesome! I raised two kids, survived their teenage years while also going through peri menopause (without HRT because no one ever offered it to me), and put my career back on track after they went to college. After years of thinking I was the worst mom in the world, my adult kids actually like me now. I tribute a lot of this self love to finally finding HRT two years ago when I became post menopausal.

We are awesome, mid life queenagers!

I'm on estradiol patch, progesterone pills, testosterone cream, vaginal estradiol cream.

I have SI joint pain (low back). I've seen an orthopedic specialist, had MRIs done and everything is normal in my spine. I've tried everything to alleviate this pain but it just gets worse. HRT has helped all my other aches and pains subside except this!

Question is does anyone use their vaginal estradiol cream on these types of areas on the body? If so, does it help?

One morning I woke up and my body felt completely different.

Out of nowhere I had: • strong heart palpitations • acid reflux / stomach burning • dizziness • an intense panic-like feeling

I had never experienced anything like this before in my life. I went to the doctor that day, had some tests done, and was told it was “anxiety.”

But it doesn’t feel like anxiety to me.

My mind isn’t full of scary thoughts when this happens. My body just goes into full alarm mode on its own. It feels like a switch flipped overnight. Heart, stomach, head — everything at once.

I’m at menopause / perimenopause age, and only later did I start reading that this phase can cause sudden and strange physical changes, but honestly, no one really talks about it like this.

This started in one single day. And it hasn’t completely gone away — it comes in waves.

I’m not here looking for a diagnosis. I just want to ask:

Did anyone else experience something like this during menopause or perimenopause — waking up one day and suddenly feeling physically different? And if so, what happened over time for you?

The hardest part right now is how isolating this feels.

While more research is needed, studies are continuing to come out supporting the positive effects of HRT and shining a light n the misguided fears of the past.

HRT has cured my chronic joint pain. HRT has cured my heart palpatations.
HRT has cured my chronic bladder pain.

I want to spread hope, especially if you are new here..

HRT has improved my sleep, anziety, depression. OK, I'm still foggy and fatigued..

A pill for low libido for women. 🤔