Experiment #12
Episode 513: The Brain that Wouldnât Die
Rewatch Date: March 25th 2023
To be able to transplant limbs and organs. To be able to replace diseased and damaged parts of the bodies⌠so the new parts will join together as if they were born there.
There is a series of stores in the Midwest called Vintage Stock. They carry niche items (Video Games, DVDs, Trading Cards, Comic Books, ect). The one that first went to was near an Unoâs Pizza. Both the Vintage Stock and the Unoâs Pizza have since closed âš. But this store used to have a section dedicated to VHS tapes. One time when I went there, they had three used Mystery Science Theater 3000 VHS tapes for sale. One was Cave Dwellers (which weâll talk about next week), one was The Amazing Colossal Man (Which weâll talk about in three years) and one was todayâs experiment: The Brain that Wouldnât Die.
In The Brain that Wouldnât Die (or The Head that Wouldnât Die as indicated in the end credits), plastic surgeon Doctor Bill is sick of the Hippocratic oath, and begins experimenting on his patients. Transplanting not only hearts and kidneys, but also limbs and spinal bones. These methods arenât approved as his Furor lookalike dad who happens to be the head doctor. Unorthodox or not, he has managed to bring patients back to life, but at what cost? Doctor Doesnât Play by the Rules gets word from his assistant. At the scary mansion he performs his experiments in, there is a problem with an âExperimentâ being held there. So, Dr. Bill drives his unsuspecting fiancĂŠ, Jan, to the mansion to see what the problem is. Along the way, Bill loses control of his wifeâs car and crashes. Dr. Canât Drive 55 survives with minor cuts and bruises. But his FiancĂŠ loses her head (in both a metaphorical and literal sense). Dr. Ex-Football player scoops up his wifeâs head from the wreckage and brings it back to life. Jan is now a disembodied head being kept alive in a pan filled with what the bots affectionately label as âneck juiceâ. Despite being just a head, Jan gets really grumpy about being given a second chance at life. Constantly saying her husband should have just let her die. So ungrateful. Regardless, Doctor Doesnât Believe in Right to Die decides to find a replacement body that he can transplant Janâs head onto. He peruses strip clubs and brothelâs in an attempt to find the right body. He settles on a model with a disfigured face. Whilst all this goes on, Jan in the Pan manages to form a psychic link with one of the âExperimentsâ being held in the basement of the mansion. Doctor False Hope brings his young model victim back to his mansion in attempt to drug her and cut off her head. But before he is able to operate, he discovers that his assistant has been killed. The âExperimentâ breaks free revealing itself to be an 8-foot-tall mash of disformed body parts. It kills Doctor Roofie and accidently sets fire to the Mansion. The âExperimentâ saves the model that Doctor Dead brought, thinking she was the one with which he had the psychic link. Jan in the Pan is left to presumably die. And then Jan in the Pan laughs over the end credits, despite not really winning.
Like Santa Claus Conquers the Martians, The Brain that Wouldnât Die is one of those legendarily bad films that is always written about in books like Golden Turkey Awards, 50 Worst Films, ect. This movie does borrow quite liberally from future episode, The Thing That Couldnât Die. Despite its reputation, I donât know much about the making of this film or any factoids. There is a Musical version that was made a few years ago, but I havenât checked it out. I think there was a cut of this movie released in Europe with some brief nudity. But other than that, Iâve not much to report. One of the models who was in the film did an interview for the MST3K DVD release of this episode. Just watch that. She can tell you more than I can.
This episode was a new chapter in the MST3K lore. And despite my disappointment with the episode, I think they made the right choice in the film they selected. Iâve always argued that each cast change on MST3K warrants a classic film as the first for the newbie. The first episode of the series was The Crawling Eye, the first episode where Kevin Murphy played Servo was Rocketship X-M, Sci-Fi Channelâs first episode was Revenge of the Creature. All classic and iconic films. The Brain that Wouldnât Die is the most iconic of any introductory MST3K episodes. The only other Season 5 episode that I think also could have worked would have been something like Beginning of the End. So, Iâm glad they went with this film as Mikeâs First.
This is a monumental episode. The first episode hosted by Michael J. Nelson as Mike Nelson. When Joel Hodgson announced that he was leaving the show, there was a brief question of who would replace him. The remaining cast and crew pondered and Mike was chosen to fill the absence. When you hear Joelâs original idea, you will no longer think of him as a comedic genius. But that story is for later. This begat a war amongst fans that raged for years. Known to all as the Joel/Mike wars, fans constantly bickered on the internet about who they felt was the true host. There were those who thought Joel was the one and only and anyone else was just an imitation, and there were those who thought the show became even better when Mike took over. It was the first online flame war. Eventually the fighting quelled. But not without its fair share of casualties. A lot of people died during that war (you know, cause it went on for a while and statistically a lot of humans die between any two periods of time).
I donât like this episode as much as others do. I think the film is just too grim. But all episodes have their highpoints. The beginning scenes in the operating room are the best. I love when Doctor Doomâs dad takes off his operating mask. Mike proves himself in the theater when he quips âHey, youâre not my dad. Youâre Hitler!â That guy really did look like Hitler. Must have been hard for him going through life looking like that. So hard that he tells his son âYou shouldnât experiment unless you know the results.â To which Crow brilliantly retorts, âThen theyâre not experiments.â Thank you Crow for saying what I was thinking. There are these constant quick cuts to close up shots of Dr. Feelbad. Every time it happens, Crow or Tom bring the riff âHelp Iâm in another dimension!â That one was a funny one. Probably what saved the last 1/4th of the episode.
The brilliance of MST3K often comes in the form of their obscure references. Case in point, when someone mentions Janâs âPowersâ, I believe it was Servo who riffs, âI hope itâs not The Powers of Matthew Star.â The Powers of Matthew Star was a short-lived 1980s sci-fi series starring Peter Barton and Louis Gossett Jr about a prince from another planet, fleeing to earth and surviving amongst the populous as a normal highschooler. I canât imagine most people are familiar with the show. The only reason I know about it is because my Japanese teacher told me it was one of the shows she watched to help her learn English. Genius writing to come up with that kind of riff. I would never think to make that joke or reference, and I donât know of anyone else who would.
Youâd think the sketches would be stronger but they arenât. They're mostly expositional. The opener is probably the best one with the bots training Mike by running him through some other bad movies. Servo notes that âtodayâs experiment is going to make Beast of Yucca Flats look like a Cakewalk.â Uhh⌠no. Beast of Yucca Flats is far worse than The Brain that Wouldnât Die (And probably worse than 96% of films featured on MST3K). Mary Jo Pehl appears for the first time as Jan in the Pan. Sheâll come back later a few times in season six.
This episode doesnât really get me going. As much as I love depressing MST3K movies, this one just doesnât cut the mustard. Itâs a depressing movie disguised as a sci-fi film. I prefer something like The Skydivers which is just depressing through and through (More on that later). I really canât give this episode high marks despite its importance in the showâs run. Frankly Iâm curious what the reaction fans had to this episode when it was first aired in 1993.
What do you think? Did you enjoy Mikeâs first outing as host? Do you think a different film should have started off his tenure? Are you also wondering how the âneck juiceâ keeping Jan in the Pan alive allowed her to still breathe and talk despite not having lungs? Let me know what you think.
To remind everybody, this is part of my experiment where Iâll be watching a different MST3K episode, every Saturday, until Iâve watched all 176 episodes of the showâs original run in the exact order that I watched each for the first time (with 3 or 4 liberties taken). I will be consuming NO MST3K outside these viewings until this experiment is over. Crazy I know. We shall see what come what may. Will I crack? Will I make it? Will I ever figure out what makes this show so great? Keep reading and find out. The next episode I will be watching is the previously mentioned Cave Dwellers. Theâll be plenty of Miles OâKeeffe talk and discussions of Film Ventures International. Till then, thank you for reading and Keep Circulating the Tapes.
12 Down 164 to go.
