Hi to all. this is my first post on reddit. i just want to talk with somebody about my problems, maybe you,guys, have something similar and can help me. making this post is hard for me, but this is my story. im from Russia . from the beginning of school my dad left me. that was very hard to my family. and thats when anxiety just starts. This constant feeling of anxiety in my chest has been with me for years. when i was a child i though : i can live without father. but that was not true. its damage me and my family’s mental health. Since childhood, I haven’t been able to trust anyone , like ANYONE. i dont know why. i was so young when beginning school starts that was a problem too. my “peers” bully me and i make many mistakes because cant talk about my problems. my friends can talk about their problems, i just cant. and than i just start to bottle up all my fears all my anxieties. my feelings and pain was in me for loooong time. i though: “ im a man i must be so strong and alone because i must because peoples have problems too and this is normal”. and when i was 17 it was time to move in another town to university. my friends was so happy and im not. in this moment my girlfriend just broke up with me.i dont blame her. and then i just cant handle my feelings inside. i just broke down. I don’t know if it was depression or just severe anxiety. but i just start to hate anyone. idk why. i hate to eat i hate sleep hate just everything,because of my anxiety. this year was hard for me. problems in the world I gained weight, stopped finding myself attractive, and completely lost my joy for life, even though these were supposed to be the best years of my life .in march i just felt some better, but now i think that my symptoms come back.\*\* \*\*I just want to know if anyone has been through something similar and how you got through it. i think this is like anniversary of anxiety. sorry for my english im learning it. Thank you if you read all of this. I know it’s a long post. I just needed to tell someone my story. if u have questions i will answer.