I’m 25 and recently graduated with a BA. On paper, I should probably feel relieved, but instead I feel more anxious than ever.
I am from India.

For the past few years, especially after the pandemic, I’ve been carrying this constant fear about my future. Now that college is over, it feels like all the uncertainty I’ve been pushing away has caught up with me.

Some of my classmates have jobs. Some are preparing for government exams. Some are doing master’s degrees. Some are joining family businesses. Others seem to have a clear direction.

I don’t.

I’ve spent months researching careers, reading Reddit, talking to seniors, watching career videos, looking into fields like public policy, consulting, PR, UX, teaching, filmmaking, NGOs, digital marketing, company secretary, research and many others. The more I research, the more confused I become.

Every field seems to have people saying:

“Don’t do this.”
“The market is terrible.”
“I regret choosing this career.”
“It’s oversaturated.”

Then I find someone who says the exact opposite.

I know Reddit has a negativity bias, but it’s hard not to absorb all of it.

I also come from a family where my parents have their own conflicts. My dad is the only earning member, and although I respect everything he has built for our family, it also makes me feel an enormous sense of responsibility. I feel guilty that I’m still financially dependent on them.

Lately I’ve also noticed that my mind wanders constantly. Even when someone is talking to me, I sometimes drift into thoughts about my future, random memories, books, movies, politics, history or career anxiety. It’s been happening since school, but I notice it much more now because I’m trying to become a responsible adult. I’m planning to speak to a mental health professional instead of trying to diagnose myself.

Some days I feel completely exhausted even if I haven’t physically done much.

I don’t think I’m lazy. I don’t think I don’t want to work.

I think I’m overwhelmed.

I keep wondering whether everyone else also felt this lost in their twenties or whether I’m falling behind. Seeing people my age getting married, buying homes, earning well, pursuing higher studies or simply knowing what they want makes me question whether I’ve missed something important.

If you’ve been in a similar place:

How did you get through it?
When did things start making sense?
How did you stop overthinking every career decision?
How did you deal with feeling like everyone else had their life figured out?

I’m not looking for motivational quotes. I’d genuinely like to hear from people who’ve been through this and eventually found their footing.

For context, I am 25, a psychology graduate who has always longed for a career in clinical psychology. I knew it was highly competitive when I was doing my Bachelor’s, so I worked extremely hard to make my experience as competitive as possible. I got scholarships, fully funded internships overseas, listed as author in academic papers and graduated with a First Class Honours.

It was during COVID that my father got laid off and my family’s finances took a huge blow. To be fair, he was of age (i.e. around 57 at that time) and it was hard for him to find a job. He had a huge ego too and couldn’t bring himself to work jobs that he considered “non-senior positions”. My mother had been a full time housewife for years and hence it was hard for her to find a job. As for my sister, she had bipolar disorder and had to visit the psychiatrist frequently, so that added a huge financial burden to my family. To be frank, she won't be able to financially support my family in the future given that she lacks accountability and is alcoholic.

So I finished the last year of my Bachelor's degree working several part-time to financially support myself. And when I graduated, I knew I couldn't study Master's (Psychology Master's are full time here) - my family will be left financially unsupported without anyone with a job and where do I even find money for the tuition?

I ended up working in a highly institutionalised job for the past two years. While it's a job with a very decent salary that I know many will fight for, I feel the creativity and intellect in my brain rotting away with all the dull, administrative work I do. Good news is, I give more than half of my salary to support my family and can still support myself (albeit having nearly no savings). My friends from university all went on to study their Master's and pursue their dream careers. And I feel the dread and grief every time I think about my aspirations.

I keep telling myself I can get back to my dream career after I save up, but as time goes by, I see that it's progressively harder for me to do so. I have no savings for my Master's, I no longer maintain contact with professors for recommendations, my knowledge in Psychology is slipping away, and now it just seems like I am going to be stuck in this job as long as my parents live.

I feel confused and alone, but I am sure some of us aren't born with a silver spoon in our mouths. And if so, how do you deal with the constant grief? Is there another way to think about this?