Yeah, I know it's not a "manly" thing to do. And probably because Reddit is anonymous is probably why I feel comfortable speaking about it.

But yeah, all the frustrations, all the hurt, all the embarrassment just came to a boiling point as I saw that nothing was going to change despite my efforts to put myself out there in trying to date. All for no effect.

I feel like part of the band of misfits - alone, unwanted, never had a girlfriend or been with a woman. Hobbies alleviate some of the issues but only to a certain point. Therapy does so much to control my mood as does meds but today was the worst day so far.

I think it was a girl I really liked who rejected me that was the straw that broke the camel's back. Oh I respected their choice and wished her well. But it was another rejection that internally just caused me to break down when I got home and cry.

I'm so exhausted of it all.

It’s for a reason that I told her was a major incompatibility between us in the beginning of our relationship (it’s private) and made her aware of me being before we ever started dating, told her I was worried about it being an issue, and even tried to end things early on to avoid getting my heart broken.

She swore up and down, over and over and over again that she would be okay with it and we would work it out. She even sobbed and begged me not to leave because of it.

Now after I let my guard down and got vulnerable, she’s ending things for that same exact reason.

I feel so angry and betrayed and screwed over. I never NEVER get vulnerable with anyone the way I got with her. Ever. She was literally perfect to me. My dream woman. We had just this one single incompatibility. I understood its ability to ruin everything for us early on, and that’s the whole reason *why* I tried to be rational and brutally honest and did my part and my best to make sure this wouldn’t happen.

She assured me that it would be fine.

I just feel so stupid

Even while breaking up with me she told me she saw me as her life partner but that she couldn’t see a way we could move forward without one of us getting hurt

And I agree but fuck. Why couldn’t she have just accepted that exact thing in the beginning when I told her that???

Now I wasted my time and emotional vulnerability and opened myself up just to get hurt again.

My girlfriend and I had planned a 37-day trip around Asia. We were supposed to leave on July 15 and travel through Thailand, Taiwan, South Korea, and Japan together.

Then, on July 1, everything changed.

I suffered an iatrogenic pneumothorax after an acupuncture session. My lung collapsed, and I spent five days in the emergency department receiving oxygen therapy. I was discharged on July 6, but our trip was over before it even began. I lost around $2,500 on flights and travel expenses.

Ever since then, I've been afraid that it could happen again.

My girlfriend, who is Taiwanese, has been with me for two years. She's six years older than me, and although my parents keep telling me to leave her because they think she's overweight, we have a deep emotional connection. I agree that losing some weight would be good for her health, but that's not what defines our relationship.

She came to Turkey on July 16 just to be with me after everything that happened, and she'll be flying back to Taiwan on August 2.

For the past two weeks, I've just been resting at home and trying to recover. It's hard not to think about where we were supposed to be right now. Instead of exploring Asia together, I'm at home trying to heal and wondering when I'll feel normal again.

I'm feeling really down. It feels like 2026 has been one of the worst years of my life so far. I just needed to get this off my chest. Thanks for reading.

TLDR: dont mind misspelling. was successful professional 2 years ago with a small fortune, got addicted to drugs after breakup, developed a horrific gambling addiction and ruined my life, or it feels like it. Godbless for reading. life is so hard and it wasn't always this way

Posting here because I feel like I need to talk to someone and although I’ve had and probably could have some quality friendships, at this long in my life I’ve not tended to them properly and primarily am isolated.

I was a Chef/cook by Trade in my youth into my late twenties, and have always been pretty personable, relativly good looking, tall and havent had much issues with companions in the past. Always struggled with alcohol and depression, and have been in decent shape most of my life, ( at different points i could run 10 miles fairly easily, got into cycling long distance for a while and even could lift weights pretty well at times, 225 bench 400 DL etc.)

I would say mentally i have always kind of struggled with self worth and confidence which probably manifested as confidence in my twenties. I have a great family, my brother is a year younger than me, works on walstreet and my sister is a stewardess for delta. I worked for disney as a chef in my twenties and was able to get a salaried position as a chef which was a signifigant accomplishment for me. did that for 5 years then when covid happened i had an opportunity to move and take a new job.

I've moved probably 30 times since i was 17 when i got kicked out of my parents house( i was what one would call a troubled youth but looking back it was primarily drinking and weed & arrogance) and lived in 5-6 states in my life, FL, MO, TX, TN, SC, NY, yata yata, almost always in pursuit of career advancemnt or love.

4 years ago i got the best job of my life, which involves minimal traveling and primary working from home, and i use the term working from home loosely. i have an incredible amount of free time on my hands that ive used well in the past but quite frankly my life fell apart in the last 18 months.

850 Credit score, thought i had the stock market figured out. had a couple hundred thousand dollars in the bank, great shape and no worries. I met a girl, she had 2 kids, we fell in love but it was kind of toxic, one of those crazy loves that you know isnt sustainable. I really saw myself as someone having his own family not inserting myself to another. and this manifested in the relationship, and ultimatly we broke up. this was december 2024.

Ive always had an affinity for drugs recreationally and but alcohol mostly, and ive drank properly in the past, even had sobriety and had been genuinely happy at certain points.

After this breakup i had a small surgery and got some low level painkillers, and was depressed, i had been introduced to pills by this ex GF that i didnt really know about prior to or how to get them as well as xanax. To make a long story short. over the last 18 months, i was trading stocks responibly and making good money aswell as having a just under 6 figure salary. got on drugs made some terrible decisions in the market( exited positions that woud be worth multi millions this present moment) and developed a serious gambling addiction.

Im 100k in debt, can barely pay my rent, owe 5k to bookies, 70k to CC, and countless payday loans and maybe 10k from family. Ive been to rehab for xanax, and alcohol 2 times now, have gotten off of those but am still on suboxone for the opiates i picked up 2 years ago. Miraculously ive been able to keep my job but im so far in debt and fucked up in the head from losing so much fucking money that my confidence is so fuckins shot.

I know this is gonna sound sillly to some folks but im sure some will relate, but i had 200k in decent stocks that i should have just put in google or AMD or whatever, and would be making 30k in divedends and a millionare now. Mind you i grew this account with 40thousand dollars that i saved up over my whole life.

Before this last girlfriend i had a wonderful woman that i lived with in TN that i spend quite abit of time thinkining about how i should have married but i was so selfish and cocksure and stuck in alcohol addiction i left her and moved to TX.

This is an incredible long read over the phone and become rambling but i've considered ending my life countless times but i have the sweetest mother and couldnt bare to think about what it would do to her.

So here i am. 34 100k in debt. alone. isolated and on opiate treatment with absolutly no confidence that i can come out of it. I feel like one of those lobsters that Jordan Peterson talks about in his book 12 rules for life that loses a fight and never recovers. I Know what to do but i dont have the will or vigor to do it. ive lost all discipline and respect for myself and spend all my time in regret. I dont have any more tears to give. and no one to talk to. my head is scrambled eggs.

When people used to lose it in movies or i'd hear stories about it as a kid or even 5 years ago i couldnt understand it because i had so much drive. I have no Drive. i spend all day alone, gambling paychecks away and just trying to save face for my family and job. but atleast im not addicted to xanax anymore.

I read alot of these posts on here and it doesnt feel like my situiation is very unique.

thanks for reading, and Godbless. life is so hard and it wasnt always this way

I feel like my life hasn't moved in the last 12 months but honestly it's been like more then 8 years. And I just don't understand what does it take to change my life and create the life I want. It's like I'm the CEO of my life yet I feel deep down I should be fired because no company in the real world would tolerate and accept laziness procrastinating overthinking and no action. And that's the phase I've been living in and gotten so used to it.

Here is my story: M(27) F(27)

I matched with a girl on Hinge early September last year hit things off immediately, texting every day I was like wow this is incredible - My birthday a week later in September took me to a new cinema and got me my favourite aftershave, paid for everything - I laughed and said are you love bombing me to which she said no I was being nice for your bday.

-Months go by, nice getaways to hotels, training together, great sex and everything felt perfect she told me I was the best thing ever so grateful and lucky she ended up with someone like me, she had a young son who was 9 and I did not meet in person - she said her ex bf who was practically the step dad of the kid left her 2 years ago and put her kid in therapy and she done some as well, in which she tells me all the things she wants in an ideal partner and I tick every box, I felt like this girl really understood me and I had met my person.

Now this is where the cracks start, she would mention how evil and hateful her ex (Together 6 years) was and mentioned he was in the same Tesco as her at xmas (live in local area) He was walking in and she was walking out - I said that's trippy never easy bumping into an ex - left it at that. Did not want to appear phased. Had a nice xmas met her Mum and her little sister things felt very good and often stayed with her and her mum when her son was at the kids dads. She also told me things like she was with someone and she was and they got back together after a year and she said things to him like go out and cheat if it makes you feel better because she was with someone else.

At end of February my Granny passed away unexpectedly - She mentioned how her ex BF did not let her into the after event when his granny passed away etc I just let her vent and was always understanding of what her ex put her through Granny passed away on Tuesday and then on Friday I met her Dad for the first time - Naturally stressed over my Grannys passing I did not drink - she did and was drunk off prosecco- On the trip down and home she basically played a FU to her ex song - and her dad mentioned she seen her ex and he looked rough - anyways, we drove home and I said to her this ex really hurt you and your son and hes like a ball and chain on your leg, he is in the past and if he was so bad he left you and your son in therapy be happy he's gone - she said she's 'over him just not the situation she put her and her son through' - when I said I wasn't happy she's mentioning him the week I am grieving the death of my grandparent she stone walled me - I left her house and drove home to regulate as I was with a previous GF who stonewalled me and it done a number on me and she was aware of this and also the heard week I had - she was drunk and proceeded to tell me I was never meeting her child and that was us done over text, I felt this was manipulative- We then sorted this out - half apology from her and from me I thought I needed to be more understanding of her situation and we told each other we love each other. But, I felt maybe selfishly she should have been understanding my Granny passed away that week and I wasn't in a headspace to listen about her ex who was so bad?

- The month after we had a great month done a charity 10K and had a nice getaway - I spoke to her son on the phone and on FaceTime over those few months we were together over xmas and when she was on a family holiday to New York - still no physical interaction I said it would be nice to meet your child as I have gotten him a birthday present and an Xmas one and we both know about each other and I am getting a bit frustrated of having to hide around the corner when we know about each other - Bare in mind I asked this respectfully and said no pressure I just need a plan as she said if I met him I could travel to Spain with her and her kid this summer and her graduation was coming up soon. The kid also told his biological father about me that Saturday as well - I did not mind as obv was in everyone's best interests I treated his son with respect and care

I was met with two days of silence - then seen her on the Saturday went to the gym all was fine, thought that was back on track and we said we would go to the cinema on the Wednesday and on the Tuesday I got a text telling me I was perfect, we have a laugh together but she feels 'something is missing' - and ended things with me over text after 7 months.

I did not reply for 3 weeks my family and friends told me not to and I deserved more than a break up text as I was blindsided and was constantly told I was the best person in the world and she was so lucky to have me, but when I mentioned maybe meeting her kid she turned so nasty and discarded me like I was nothing over text, when I did then text her to speak she then told me 'she loves me as a person but not in love with me' and I deserve better - I did not reply again, I was in such shock I feel so heartbroken how can she be all lovey then discarded over text? I noticed when I put her number into whatsapp she had no profile picture anymore and her messages were set to disappearing which makes me think her ex was back in the picture or hiding something? - Her tiktok reposts after were all things like when a man leaves your life build a comfortable life etc - except I never left her?

I have never been this hurt and blindsided before in my life, I wasnt even worth a conversation just felt so easily disposed when we had concerts etc to look forward to this summer and all I was worth was a text.

What do I do I am still incredibly in love with her - Its been 3 months nc and I have been attending therapy and gym but I still feel stuck

Hey there,

My name is Zac and I am a current psychology honours student at Federation University Australia.

The moderators have generously allowed me to share a research project looking at how individual personality traits interact with short-form social media feeds (specifically simulating TikTok content exploring modern online subcultures, gender roles, and societal dynamics).

Who can participate:
Open to anyone over the age of 18 who is fluent in English.

What’s involved:
A 20-30 minute interactive study where you will complete a few personality measures and watch a simulated 15 video feed (some of which may include potentially confronting or offensive content related to social and political issues).

The Link: 
https://federation.syd1.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_4ZrUUEJudrbnMJE

Incentive: 
Participants can choose to enter an optional prize draw to win one of two $20 (aud) Prezzee gift vouchers to a store of your choice. 

Upon completion (around end of November 2026), I will share the results and key findings from the study. 

If there are any questions about the study itself, please ask away!

Participation is voluntary and completely anonymous.

Federation University Ethics reference number 2026-108

So I don't want to say the world but pill is talking about the infamous pill that has turn a lot of guys into sexist. If you know what I am talking about, then you know.

Last hint is that it's leader just got arrested and that is making news. But I want to take a moment and reflect on a time before this stuff was popular and talk about another space call men's improvement space.

Ultimately this space eventually became sexist but originally it wasn't like that. I can recall back in covid podcasting just became popular and a lot of people were clinging to ways to find meaning.

Around that time, a lot of guys were talking about confidence and building a masculine frame. It wasn't about women. It literally was about you. It was about going to gym without being told. Stop blaming women for your short coming and mediate daily. There was motivation videos from army drill sergeants talking about making your bed. Random voice overs in movie clips talking about its you against the world.

People like Mark Manson was talking about not being needy and your attraction is largely based on who you are. I remember dudes who would have podcasts who would let men call in just to slam dunk them if they talked about women or made excuses.

Good example of this is Fitxfearless who legit just makes fun of guys who are fat, lazy or complainers.

Personally, I don't think it was all healthy as I get older I realize that nothing is all your fault. Life just happens. It also promoted the idea that you aren't enough until you achieve something great.

I think that last part is how misogynistic views eventually creeped in. The leader of the pill didn't start talking about that stuff. Originally it was all about hustling and getting money. The ones who weren't like that quietly left the space.

If you have a chance look up cole hastings or Jordan Greene. 2 youtubers who were young adults and now are in relationships. They both started off as single lonely men.

I'm curious though do you think any of those type of videos?

It just feels like a little reminder how late and alone I am in life again. I mean, I'm still happy for him.