-The melody of silence....

(Unrelated picture).

People turn to religious identities, beliefs and rituals to avoid confronting their own reality, and that avoidance quietly becomes the anxiety they were trying to escape.

Alan Watts defined Buddhism as the "religion of no-religion," and his book has a lot of textual quotes that got stuck in my mind.

The identification happens when religion becomes imitation, and it is always falling apart and promoting lip service and imitation. Humans always make religion a cliché through therapy, self-help, stoicism, productivity, and mindfulness.

The problem of becoming a cliché is that they are repeating the wisdom instead of living it.

Instead of experiencing reality, we imitate what we think a spiritual person looks like, and this can turn into a defense mechanism.

Then a person who considers himself an atheist gets the label of "I am not religious," and it becomes another identity. But freedom isn't about just replacing one identity with another; it is about becoming impossible to categorize. As he says here:

"The theist is caught by God… but the atheist is equally caught."

He does not mean that the atheist secretly believes in God, but that their life is about rejecting God, so God is still the center of their psychological universe.

The insight in this book, and in The Wisdom of Insecurity, is that religion isn't the problem. The problem is using religion as psychological security, because we spend our time seeking certainty through beliefs, we seek identity through labels, we seek safety through rituals, and we seek permanence through ideology, and all of them are tracks left by our ego.

He said:

"The true bodhisattva does not leave a track of any kind, either by being overtly religious or by being overtly nonreligious."

Watts suggests that identity itself may be the trap. We often define ourselves by what we believe, reject, or aspire to become, but even those identities can quietly imprison us.

We live real life when we observe and learn from what is around us without any target or trying to adopt different identities. It is about flowing with life. I understood that every single change I make for myself is to make the life I am living at that exact present moment work.

The spiritually advanced leave no sign.

He said:

"There is no sign about the spiritually advanced to indicate that they are self-consciously religious."

When we go on social media, everyone is always performing: mindfulness, minimalism, meditation, cold showers, breathwork. But when this becomes a performance, it replaces the real practice. If everyone knows we are enlightened, we are just advertising it.

I've selected some ideas from Alan Watts that made me more aware and helped me build my own identity. I share reflections like these in my essays:

The Feeling That You're Running Out of Time

I’m posting this because I don’t know if anyone else has experienced what I’m going through on their path to enlightenment.

I’ve done DMT multiple times recently, and instead of having beautiful or enlightening trips like i’ve had, every single one now similarly to my first experience has left me disturbed. Every time I go back into a trip it’s an immediate sense of what have I done, and that i’m realizing I cant go back and i’m understanding some dark truth that I am only my mind. At the same time my mind doubts even that leaving me more lost.

Ever since those trips, I feel like my mind has become completely consumed by consciousness, reality, and existence. It’s not normal curiosity anymore. It’s constant.

The biggest thing is that I’ve become hyperaware of my own consciousness. I can’t stop noticing the fact that I’m aware. Instead of just living my life, it feels like I’m constantly observing myself observing reality. I don’t know how to simply exist anymore.

My mind constantly asks questions like:

Who am I?

Why am I experiencing life from this perspective?

Why am I conscious at all?

How can I know anything is actually real?

How do I know anyone else is conscious?

How do I know my own brain isn’t creating everything?

The terrifying part is that these don’t feel like interesting philosophical questions anymore. They feel like problems my brain absolutely has to solve before I can relax, even though I know they’re impossible to answer with certainty.

My trips put me into a state of feeling like i’m in a psychotic break and that I shouldn’t be there, yet I feel so tempted to go back and finally come to some understanding. I keep tripping now regardless of how bad because it feels like understanding the truth of my mind.

During the DMT trips, I had this overwhelming feeling that I had uncovered some truth I wasn’t supposed to see, and an uncanny sense of being watched. It felt like I had looked behind the curtain and realized something terrible about existence. Since then, I can’t shake the feeling that I opened a door that I can’t close.

Logically, I know I can’t prove any of this. But emotionally, it feels completely convincing.

I also feel like my brain has developed an impossible standard. I feel like I can only trust something if I discover it myself and know it with absolute certainty. The problem is that I don’t think absolute certainty is possible. Every reassurance immediately turns into another doubt. Even if someone gives me a helpful way of thinking, my brain dismisses it because I didn’t come up with it myself. Then I start doubting my own thoughts too. It feels like my mind constantly moves the goalposts, so nothing is ever enough.

I honestly feel jealous of people who can just be present and enjoy life. My internal monologue never shuts off. Even during moments that should be enjoyable, I’m still in my head analyzing consciousness, reality, and existence.

I’ve also used methamphetamine for 3 months and weed regularly. I’m fully aware those may be contributing to what I’m experiencing. I’m not trying to pretend DMT is the only factor here. I’m also scheduling a psychiatric evaluation because this has become overwhelming.

I guess what I’m wanting to ask is:

Has anyone experienced something similar after DMT?

Did it eventually get better?

Did you eventually stop feeling trapped inside your own consciousness?

Right now my brain keeps telling me this is permanent—that I learned something I can never unknow—and that’s the part that’s scaring me the most. I genuinely don’t think I’ll ever be at peace and I feel totally alone and misunderstood. It’s impossible for me to put clearly into words what i’m feeling and the weight of it.

I’m not looking for someone to tell me the secrets of the universe. I just want to know if anyone else has been in a place like this and eventually got their life back

I know sometimes you get up in the morning and you feel out of sorts. You may feel depression, you may feel the collective unconscious of the world, which is a negative vibration. You should immediately snap out of this by realizing this is not the truth about me.
The truth about me is l am love, l am consciousness, I am absolute reality. Identify with the truth about yourself. Do not allow your mind to tell you one iota of negative thinking.
Catch yourself. It makes no difference what position you're in.
Do not believe and think,
"Well, when things get better, I'll have time to do this." There's no such thing. You've got to start where you are. You've got to be yourself now and forever, things will never change.
Get rid of your arrogance. Develop humility. Become humble. By that I don't mean become a door mat for people to step on. In humility there is strength. You understand the truth. Therefore, you do not get involved in pettiness, in nonsense. The truth shall always prevail, regardless of appearances.

It was never built for the ocean of ordinary sinners that religion threatened with it. It is reserved for a very small group of people.

At the top are the shadow people. You do not vote for them. Most of them never stand in front of a camera. They do not need to belong to one secret organization or even sit in the same room. What connects them is the same desire: power without consequence.

Behind them is the counter.

Satan in the middle without horns. These people come to him with plans of their own, and he gives them the means. Money. Weapons. Surveillance. Propaganda. Algorithms. Political access. Protection. Whatever their wish requires.

He never asks why. He never asks who will suffer. He simply slides the power across the counter and says: do whatever you wish. He never tells them what to wish for. He does not need to. Every destructive wish gives him the same satisfaction: another chance to prove God wrong about His creation.

The arrangement is simple. He provides the means. They provide the wish.

Below the shadow people is government. This is the visible stage where a wish made in darkness becomes law, policy, debt, sanctions, and war. Politicians stand beneath flags and perform for the public. Some are puppets. Some are willing servants. Some are the architects pretending to be puppets.

On that stage, the public is divided into left and right. Their disagreements can be real, but the machine keeps feeding the conflict until politics becomes identity and identity becomes hatred. Each side is taught that the person standing beside them is the enemy. The goal is to keep people looking left and right so they never look up and ask about the shadow people above them.

Anyone who does look up, anyone who points toward the machinery, is pushed beneath the stage. Journalists, whistleblowers, dissidents, and ordinary people who notice too much are arrested, censored, ridiculed, buried by algorithms, or drowned beneath so much noise that nobody can hear them. The truth cannot be destroyed. It can only be hidden or made difficult to hear.

If I stood in front of a camera and said this while people were actually listening, they would not need to disprove what I was saying. They would only need to make me look so bad that nobody would listen again. Accuse me of rape, assault, anything ugly enough to bury my words beneath my reputation, then send me to jail while I wait for a trial that could take years. By the time I am allowed to speak again, everyone has already forgotten what I was pointing toward. That is how the machinery protects itself. It cannot destroy the truth, so it discredits and removes the person who dares to speak about it.

Below all of that is war, with the word GOD stamped across flags, speeches, and weapons as part of the method. His name is used to bless the exact destruction that His rule forbids(do not destroy others). That is why people hate the word GOD, and they have every reason to. Look what was done in its name.

Soldiers kill people they have never met for reasons written by people who will never enter the battlefield. Families lose their children. Cities disappear. Nations inherit debt. Millions of people become trapped inside the consequences of a wish made by somebody far above them.

This is where the ledger enters the image.

It does not belong to Satan, the shadow people, or the government. Nobody can edit it. It records what each person knew, what they intended, what freedom they had, what alternatives they could see, and who was forced to pay for their decision.

The ledger does not judge the deceived soldier like the person who designed the war. It does not judge the frightened citizen like the person who manufactured the fear. It does not stop at the hand that pulled the trigger. It follows the order upward.

Past the soldier.

Past the politician.

Past the performance.

All the way back to the person who understood what was being built, knew who would suffer, and asked Satan for the means anyway.

That is why hell is so small.

Most people are living inside an event they did not create and cannot fully see. They can still cause pain. They can still make terrible choices. But hell is not a warehouse for every terrible act. The ledger weighs awareness. It traces the consequences back to the people who built the conditions, supplied the lie, and placed the weapon in another person's hands.

Only a few people ever stand consciously at the counter. Only they see enough of the structure to understand what their wish will do to everyone below. They are the ones who cannot say they were deceived, forced, or unaware.

Hell is not for everyone trapped inside the machine. It is for the few who built it while knowing exactly what it would do.

Suppose God appeared to me and told me every truth I needed to know. I tell everyone, and somebody says, “No. God isn’t like that.”

Do you think I would be bothered?

Why would truth need my insecurity to defend it?

I would simply ask:

Does your belief obey one rule: never build your beauty from another person’s destruction? Does it make you more compassionate, honest, and responsible? Can you question it without being threatened into silence?

If it can, perhaps your God and mine are the same God wearing different clothes and it deserves attention.

If it cannot, I don’t care what name you gave it.

This world is another unreal world, and once you realize that it's literally just a dream world getting upscaled to the extreme, the sooner you'll realize that you aren't really living, but life itself here.

Everything that you imagine is do-able in dreams is possible to do here, and once elements from your dreams show up irl, the sooner you'll draw the rest of the owl, and realize you've always been dreaming here.

There's nothing here that isn't made up of a literal dream, and once you realize that this is what's like to dream walk, then you'll begin noticing that there's no future, past or any side walks here.

It's time to get lucid inside your own dream, and realize your dream of sleeping forever have always been coming true here.

It's time to start the forbidden logout button, where you'll see that wonderland have always been your own dream here.

Hi everyone, I really need some support because I don't want to feel alone in this anymore. I am in the final stage of a heavy Dark Night of the Soul, and suddenly I am facing one bizarre incident after another.

Two weeks ago, my neighbors called the police "as a joke," resulting in a sudden police raid (the police later apologized for the false alarm). Now, I suddenly have car troubles I never had before. People from my past are trying to reach out, even though I closed those doors completely. To make it worse, random strangers on the street have yelled at or intimidated me out of nowhere.

This triggers me immensely after such a heavy process. It feels completely inhuman and I notice I am becoming increasingly apathetic. Does this chaotic chain of events happen to more people at the very end of their Dark Night, or am I doing something wrong? Thank you.

Good day fellow travellers,

Each week offers new clarity (and confusion) on the path. Let's take a moment to reflect:

• What insights arose this week?
• What challenged you?
• Where did you notice presence or resistance?

Your reflections, however small, can ripple out and resonate with others on this journey.

Feel free to share below. 🙏

Who is impelling your senses to operate (to see, to listen and so on), impelling movements in your body, impelling you to think? What is the power attracting you to something and distracting you from something?

It is not to find some explanation for the impelling power or some reference for the impelling power (I am doing or God is doing is also an explanation)-but to just note the impelling itself. There is no one impelling.

There is nothing behind impelling. There is only impelling.

Since my childhood, I have had attempts to bend reality to cope with the boredom of life. I was an only child, and I was successful in developing my imagination and adapting it to the world.

Childhood ended, and life began to show its boring face. Not just for me; no matter whose life I looked at, I could see the same ordinariness and boredom.

Today, while stuck in traffic along with the rest of the country and heading towards our boring jobs, I rethought these things and decided to make life interesting again.

After this decision, my thoughts and my brain became excited and started telling me things to support this. What if boredom is a gift given to us by God to make life interesting?

Today’s society is structured to reward those who are resilient to boredom. If you can sit in a chair all day and do it all year round, you are more successful than a traveler living alone in the forest.

This system seems to have caused us to misinterpret boredom. The more resilient you are to boredom, if you can keep doing things even while being bored, it is considered a great talent. What if God didn’t give us this boredom for this purpose? What if God gave us this feeling to make life interesting? What if He is getting bored too?

Elon Musk once said that if life is a simulation, the more interesting we make this simulation, the lower our chances of being shut down. Because simulations exist so that anomalies can be seen. A simulation running in an ordinary way is not worth examining.

And starting today, I have decided to make my life interesting, and this interestingness has already started to excite me.

First, I wore my watch on my right arm instead of my left; it was interesting. But it was a tiny bit of interestingness.

Secondly, using my programming skills, I started an audacious project. I decided to decode the famous and mysterious document known as the Voynich manuscript, which is estimated to have been written in the 1400s. My project is currently ongoing, and I think it is interesting.

The Voynich manuscript was passed down from generation to generation, was taken under protection after its last owner, Wilfrid Voynich, and is currently at Yale University. By the way, Wilfrid Voynich was the son-in-law of George Boole, who laid the foundations of computers, and the husband of the great-great-aunt of Geoffrey Hinton, who is known as the pioneer of modern neural networks. And having advanced machine learning algorithms solve the secret of these documents one day would make an interesting story. Yes, we love interestingness.

I want a crazy world. When I wake up in the morning, I hate that everyone goes to their chicken-coop-like jobs in their safe cars. When we wake up in the morning, I want to jump on our horses and explore new valleys; I want to sleep with giant bats in desolate caves; I want to make the world a more interesting place. I am bored of this chicken coop where the boring win and the interesting lose. I want to see a world so interesting that one cannot distinguish between dream and reality. I want to see people who do not look like each other. I am bored of people who tell each other about the same Netflix movie, consume the same things, and are exactly the same. I want to discover a new color and dye my hair that color. I want to introduce myself with a different name in every city I go to. I want to sleep in the forest. I want to know something that no one on earth knows. I want to read a forgotten book that no one on earth has read. I want to take a picture of a place that no one on earth has seen. I want to see the stars while sleeping at night, and I want to smile at the sun when I wake up in the morning.

Plato speaks of divine madness. I want to be that madness. We have lived sensibly for long enough. I have a dream. And I want to make dreams come true.

What’s your best method for changing your mindset to change your life trajectory? We used the past so much to build the future, how can we stop looking back to look forward? I want to create new beliefs.

Thanks in advance! :)

it’s all about authenticity,
to know who you are
and to be completely aware of where/who you’ve been
not necessarily to be grounded in the reality that nothing can change, but accepting that you are who you are

being a 20 year old girl in the music/entertainment industry, what i’ve learned—
to truly listen to others first
my perception might be naive or young now, but through spirituality & the knowledge i’ve gained
true authentic confidence comes from within.

knowing who you are
and reminding yourself to remember who we truly all are..
souls having a human experience
and our mission is to shine our most authentic highest timeline light to others.. no matter if they think we’re delusional or dumb or naive

to be humble & grateful & authentic, ego may occupy at times, but truth will always lead. always tell your truth in your art. for there is no absolute truth except for energy— art is a direct vessel for that authenticity.

nature vs nurture,
we can’t escape the reality we’ve lived, but we can accept & grow
to manifest is to understand + allow ourselves to timeline jump
but in order to leap, we must accept
in order to grow, we must allow changes to be seen & apparent.

and being “ourselves”, to be a good human, to genuinely treat others as you would want them to treat you.. the golden rule, and being grateful. and positive outlooks, realizing manifestation is possible, that everything & anything can be a manifestation on our ends.

it all starts from belief.
and to allow ourselves to even believe in something delusional to our current reality is the first step of breaking out of the current cycle looped.

but to find that truth & authenticity within. i am learning that again, after years of masking and people pleasing.

i am finally coming back to myself and re-learning who i am and who i was. from childhood, to each era ive gone through, to dictate & differentiate : taste from identity.

letting go of how ive been programmed or subconsciously programmed myself to act or react. but to see what is truly authentic within me, and what that means for me in society.

in a time like this, the most radical thing we can do is to be ourselves, to be kind and to be a light to such dark times. it may feel hard, and it can be hard at times.. but light will always shine in a dark place. and i truly believe all will be seen soon..

how do you feel & any advice on what it means to be truly authentic in this world? spiritual & not—as an artist especially in such a trend-based, fast-paced industry. what are tips or advice you can give to a young 20 year old navigating this life?

🤍 love to all

Like many unemployed men my age, I watched Streamer University for most of its run this year. It's a five-day bootcamp for creators to network, collab and learn. Many of them streamed from the campus non-stop.

When I quit streaming years ago, it was nothing like it is today. Today's market is saturated with people under 40 who are full of energy to put in the work. It's inspiring. Enough to grease my joints and put in some effort of my own.

I left the dream of being an entertainer to pursue Awakening. This isn't hyperbole.

In the last months before being laid off from Myspace, I went to a music festival and lost my mind. I came back from that wondering, "How can I be that happy...without drugs?" I was also in my final amateur class with Groundlings, an improv theatre in LA that helped launch the careers of Will Ferrell and Jimmy Fallon, among others. The class ended with a performance on the same stage.

After our show, a commercial agent gave me his card and I was signed to an agency. My dream was coming to fruition. Even being laid off gave me plenty of time and a cool chunk of cash to do auditions without worrying about bills. Lucky. Yet I still wondered how to be happy.

So my days went from searching for auditions to searching for ego death. Over a decade was spent on the search. I've written a lot about it on Reddit and usually leave out the stuff that makes it promising. I didn't want to create an expectation for people who are searching. But I was also uncomfortable bragging about what Life has become.

There are difficult moments for sure, but every time I come out stronger, clearer and more certain of the Flow. Each day is richer than the last, and by rich, I mean like a dessert. There's so much of it in each little bite.

Each day is a tiny bite of a lifetime.

I've also struggled with simplifying all the ideas I collected about Self Mastery, which range from conventional self-help to fringe ideas and everything in between and all around.*

I wanted to know: what's the simplest way to be? And then, what feels like it comes from me instead of adopting somebody else's point of view? It comes to this, which you can play around with while discovering your own simple way:

Don't take it personal. Just watch and see what happens.

That's it. If I'm getting tight about whether or not I'm doing it right, that's taking it personal. So I can recognize that and relax again to see what happens.

Out of this came new life to what I thought was a dead dream.

___

*Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill (conventional self-help); The Power of Awareness by Neville Goddard (fringe ideas); Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents by Lindsay C. Gibson (in between); and The Ashtavakra Gita by a mysterious sage (all around).

To your most holy Self all praise is due for what you are, and for what He is Who created you as you are. Sooner or later must everyone bridge the gap which he imagines exists between his selves. Each one builds this bridge, which carries him ACROSS the gap as soon as he is willing to expend some little effort on behalf of bridging it. His little efforts are powerfully supplemented by the strength of Heaven, and by the united will of all who make Heaven what it is, being joined within it. And so the one who would cross over is literally transported there.

This world is another falling apple tree experience, and the sooner that you realize that you are the god of your own experience, the sooner you'll return to being the source of everything.

Humans inside this world are mini-cyborgs trying to adapt to a skin that doesn't exist, and this world is another computer generated reality where nothing actually exists.

Once you realize that you are tasting your own dream constructs here, the faster you'll be uploading your problems to your commander, where you'll realize Yuri's revenge is all about having the misconception of free will here.

It's time to turn off your VR headset, stop dreaming, and figure out where the big log-out button is at, cause this Pac-Man game have been growing to the extreme.

Some people will not go through anything like that in their lifetime. It is not required to become enlightened.

Quand des enfants naissent, nous devenons des parents, c’est une évidence !

Mais du point de vue de l’âme fraîchement incarnée, nous sommes les premiers jalons des premières pages, certainement les plus décisifs. Ce petit être à une mission et nous devons l’aider à l’accomplir. Mais comment savoir ce que le destin attend de lui ? Faut-il l’inscrire aux normes ?

Les clés de la création ne sont ni entre les mains des parents ni entre celles des ancêtres, tout est écrit en amont, aux sources.

L’enfant n’apprendra que ce que son âme retiendra pour mener à bien sa mission. Tout le reste consumera l’écart,

Une étoile mène ses actes à sa guise, l’hôte déclame ses prédits puis quitte la scène.