I'm so tired of feeling like a constant ticking timebomb. I am 20 days post MTX - here's my HCG trend.
Day 1 - 3000

Day 3 (went to the ER for pain - was released) - 6600

Day 4 - 6505

Day 13 - 2547

Day 20 - 1550

I'm still absolutely terrified of rupturing. I had terrible cramping/ bloating/ pressure over the weekend and told the doctor about it today and they did not give me an ultrasound as I have also been constipated so they said it sounds more like constipation pain and that they are looking for continuous pain rather than pain that subsides. I did, however, get a complete blood count done and my levels are normal (and higher than what they were on Day 3 when I went to the ER). I'm just so freaking tired of feeling this way. I'm overanalyzing every single pain and I'm scared to live my normal life. I am travelling tomorrow (I am Canadian and my husband is a US citizen, he lives 5 hours away from me and we just bought a house prior to all of this happening so we planned our housewarming party also prior to all of this happening) and I'm just still so nervous. I'm mainly just venting but I would like to hear some reassuring stories of MTX and if you had any pain during the process but did not rupture and how long it took you to get to 0. I've read so much about women rupturing week 2-3 after their MTX shot and it scares the heck out of me.

Mid June I found out I was pregnant after a miscarriage in December 2025.
I had my first appointment in July 6th and was around 5w5d, quite early for a first OB appointment but I wanted to check because I was spotting. We couldn‘t see any gestational sac and my OB said that it just might be too early so we did some blood tests. My HCG was around 1000 and two days later, the numbers doubled so my OB confirmed the pregnancy.

Initially, my next appointment would have been on July 30th, however I started spotting and passing blood clots on the July 17th and the following days, so I called my OB and was able to go for another check on 20th. In the ultrasound we still didn‘t see any gestational sac where it should‘ve been, which was alarming and she saw something near the left ovaries. Had to do some blood tests again, however we would‘ve gotten the results only one day later because of logistics. My OB also told me to go to the hospital the minute I feel I have pain in the lower stomach, since she suspected an ectopic pregnancy.

I was already feeling anxious and nervous after the appointment, so we went to emergency that evening. Had more ultrasounds and did more blood tests, turns out my HCG has risen to 18,000 so they then confirmed what my OB suspected, an ectopic pregnancy.
Had to stay the night and had my emergency surgery the next morning. I was already at 7w5d by then, so it was alread quite developed and they had to remove the damaged left tube.

The main and most important lesson I have learned from this is that it‘s crucial to listen to your body and gut feeling. In hindsight, I should‘ve asked for more appointments after the HCG tests were done, to check that everything is still alright. I‘m just glad and relieved that I was able to do the surgery so fast, since it can get lifethreatening and that the doctors and staff in my hospital were so kind and supportive. In my case, the shock from the last few days have helped me with overcoming the grief.

Hi everyone,

First, I want to thank everyone who’s shared their story on this page. The kindness, support, positivity, and realness has helped me tremendously. I’m so thankful for this page.

I’m wondering if anyone can help me navigate the emotions I’ve had since my ectopic, which happened in October of 2025. I was 6 weeks along when I started having spotting. I immediately called my doctor and they told me it could be from running/exercise. She was not concerned but had me come in for bloodwork to check my hCG levels. The night after I went in for bloodwork work, I ended up in the ER due to extreme pain and the bleeding had gotten really bad… that ER visit was super traumatizing. I knew I was likely miscarrying. I remember laying there in fear during my ultrasound when the ultrasound tech said “you know, in Europe we tell women they need to rest and their feet up for first 12 weeks of pregnancy.” My mind immediately filled with guilt, as I am a busy person and tend to always have a lot on my plate. I still think about writing that ER, as I do not think techs should be telling patients what to do. Esp in such a vulnerable and horrible situation of fear! Anyways …

The ER Doctor got the results and told me it’s likely a miscarriage but that’s all he could tell me and said I should follow-up with my OB Monday. I decided not to wait and called my doctor Saturday. She said it sounds like I passed it but we’ll double check my hCG levels Monday. Unfortunately, I didn’t quite make it to my appointment Monday for bloodwork and ended up in ER. This is when they found the ectopic. I was given methotrexate and my doctor had said she’s only had one patient it hadn’t worked for. Two days later I ended up back in the ER with a ruptured tube and internal bleeding. It’s the scariest moment when you’re lying in a hospital bed, wondering if you’ll see the sun again.

Luckily my surgery went well. While I healed physically, mentally I’m still really struggling. We just started trying again and I thought this month would be it. I had positive ovulation tests and I’m in a better work environment, my stress levels are lower, I’m taking recommended prenatal supplements etc. I guess my question is, how do you combat depression from negative pregnancy tests , while simultaneously being terrified of being pregnant again. I’m 37, almost 38. My husband is 40. I also have a hard time hearing the “chatter” of people blurting things about like “after 35 you’re at high risk for genetic disorders.” I don’t think people have intentions to be inconsiderate, but my gosh, when will people realize we know the risks?! We don’t need to hear you blurt out statistics! I’m dealing with a lot of guilt for waiting, but we also weren’t ready years ago.

I find all of these thoughts to be overwhelming. I’m sorry for the rant. Hope this helps someone else know they’re not alone if they’ve felt this way too.

Currently on the ward after having my left tube removed and internal bleeding fixed.

I was 5weeks pregnant, I had been having spotting and cramps on and off for just under a week, along with not having a bowel movement for 7 days. I was on holiday abroad, so I decided to call the early pregnancy unit as soon as I returned. This Friday just passed, I called the early pregnancy unit, and they told me to come in. By the time I arrived, I was in agony and fell into the waiting room. They quickly took me in, gave me paracetamol whilst I writhed around in pain.

They were concerned my pregnancy might be ectopic, so they took some bloods to check my HCG (it’s 2,700) and sent me to the surgical assessment unit (sort of like CDU, not a real ward but a sort of waiting area).

For nine hours I was in agony, and when I say agony I mean it. I’m really good with pain, and I was screaming. Other patients were worried about me. During this time, I begged, and begged for some sort of laxative as I still hadn’t moved my bowels, my stomach looked 6 months pregnant and I was really worried my bowel would rupture.

I was pretty much ignored, and told to stop worrying. They finally offered me lactose in the late evening, which I thanked them for through tears. The pain continued to get worse, and they gave me an enema. This didn’t work, no bowel movement at all. Nobody ever mentioned that bowel trouble is a symptom of ectopic pregnancy.

When the doctor finally came to see me (it had only been nurses at this point) she attempted to check my cervix with a speculum, as she ‘didn’t understand’ why I was in so much pain. It was agony, and she had to remove it. She told me they were going to admit me to a ward for overnight observation. On the ward, I continued to cry and writhe in pain with nothing but paracetamol. I didn’t eat, I took a spoon of some warm custard they offered me and threw up immediately. The next morning, after an awful night, they gave me some suppositories. These also didn’t work, and it’s now 10 or so days since I’ve been to the loo other than overflow liquid.

Now the doctor comes to see me again, and tells me they can’t scan me as they don’t do pregnancy scans on the weekend. So they discharge me in agony, tell me to try ‘see if a spicy curry helps’ and I’m sent on my way, with the promise of a phone call Monday for a scan. My weekend was about how you would imagine.

Early pregnancy call me to come in for a scan Monday at 11.30am. Once I get there, my pain is worsening, and after an hour delay they finally perform transvaginal ultrasound. No pregnancy is found in my uterus, and she struggles to look properly because in her words ‘my bowel is all over the place’. My bloods are retaken, and I’m sent back to waiting room. I sit there doubled over, until a nurse says she is concerned and takes me somewhere to lie down.

After 2 hours, I’m finally sent back to the surgical assessment ward. My HCG isn’t increasing as it should. They ignore my worries about my stomach pain. Hours later, the consultant finally comes to talk to me. Turns out, the scan I had earlier showed that my abdomen was full of blood, and my tube had already ruptured. I was told it was too late in the day for surgery now, so they would admit me to a proper ward and be sent to theatre the next morning. It’s also at this point she starts asking me about ‘funeral arrangements’ and whether they have my permission to smear my pregnancy on a slide in future for clinical reasons. I’m so very upset, exhausted.

I’ve had my surgery today, and they took the tube. My incision is gnarly and it’s left me with a ‘shelf’ similar to a c-section. They gave me fentanyl, which causes constipation, which you think would make them consider a laxative. They didn’t. Since then, they keep throwing morphine at me, which also causes constipation, and I’m having to refuse as they won’t give me a laxative no matter how much I beg. The doctor has ignored the nurses requests all day long. Nobody has come to discuss my surgery results, I managed to tease some information from a nurse. Im taking myself home tomorrow, and I’ll put in a complaint.

I’m not really sure why I wrote this, and I’ll be surprised if anybody wants to read this entire essay, I’m not sure of the rules so if this must be deleted that’s ok, but I think I just really needed to write this down and process it.

I’m so very sad.