As an African American that has primarily dealt with African American woman , figured I’d give it a try. I just wanna say the filters are shit. I put my distance at 20 miles , tell me why every other swipe is 175mi, 200mi, 3k miles, 5mi, 90mi, 183mi. What thee fuck be going on ? They need to fix this. I got one match a million miles away that don’t speak English 🤣.

​Hey everyone!

​If you had the chance to ask every person on a dating app a single question before deciding whether to swipe right or left, what would you ask?

Hi, I (25F) have been on Hinge for a long time, went on a total of 7 (and half lol) dates.

Of these 7 dates, one turned into a serious relationship that lasted for 8 months, and in two cases I didn't want to see the other person because I didn't like their behaviour. The other people I met didn't want to see me again. And this is making me question my worth tbh, I'm wondering if I'm way uglier in person than in photo (they are not edited, my friends say I look like the photos but I'm not sure honestly).

The last date in particular left me wondering, we spoke for four days and he seemed very very interested, at one point it kinda felt lile lovebombing (he was writing goodmorning to me at 7am and telling stuff like "im not talking with anyone else but you" and "i dont have time to loose"). We met, and at one point he tried to kiss me, but i refused the kiss. He also opened up abput a lot of private stuff, but then at the end of the date i told him i would have liked to see him again but he said he didn't feel the spark, he said it's a difficult time of his life and he feels quite closed in himself because his ex gf broke up with him on valentines day etc.

So this left me wondering if men like to talk with me but dont like how i look and i need honest opinions from strangers ahah

I have a habit that I'm not particularly proud of. If I find someone interesting on a dating app, I sometimes go down a rabbit hole trying to find their online presence. Usually it's just curiosity to see if they're a real person.

Recently, I came across a girl's profile that caught my attention. But unlike most people, I could barely find anything about her online besides professional profiles. She seemed like a genuinely decent, private person.

Out of curiosity, I kept digging and eventually managed to find what I believe is her WhatsApp number.

Now I'm in a dilemma.

The dating profile has some pretty revealing photos/videos, which feels a bit inconsistent with the very private, professional online presence I found. I'm wondering if the dating profile is actually hers or if someone else is using her photos.

Part of me wants to message her and simply ask whether the profile is really hers so I can let her know if it's fake. Another part of me feels like contacting someone after finding their WhatsApp through internet sleuthing would come across as invasive or creepy, regardless of my intentions.

Would you want to know if you were in her position? Or would receiving a message like that be an immediate red flag?

Looking for honest opinions, especially from women or anyone who's had someone find them outside a dating app.

After a long relationship, I’m planning to get back into dating and I’m trying to maximize my chances of getting matches.

Here’s my situation: I’m currently working in another state and will be here until the end of August. After that, I’ll return to my home city/state.

In both scenarios, I would be creating a completely new Tinder account with a new phone and a new phone number.

I’ve been reading about Tinder’s ELO / ranking system and I’m wondering what would actually improve my chances the most.

Option 1: Create the account now while I’m in this other state and intentionally swipe left on a large number of highly attractive women, because I’ve heard that being more selective might improve your ELO / ranking and increase future visibility once I’m back home.

Option 2: Wait until I’m back home and create the fresh account there, so the new-account boost is used in the location where I actually want to date long term.

I’m also curious about how long the new-account boost actually lasts in practice. Is it mainly the first 24–48 hours, the first week, or does Tinder continue giving a fresh account increased visibility for a longer period?

Given that I’ll be back home at the end of August, would it be better to “save” that boost for my home market, or is there any advantage in starting the account now and trying to build a stronger ranking before I return?

What would you recommend based on your experience with Tinder’s algorithm and match quality?

Thanks in advance for any advice!

I got Boo a few days ago after seeing an advert because it looked like a different, fun and interesting free app and I liked the idea of the personality tests and matching. However, it seems to me like you can't really do anything without paying for it. I've had a few likes so far, but I can't see who they are without paying, so I just have to wait until they pop up so I can use one of the few likes per day to match with them. I would've hoped they would be prioritised in the "Match" page but no, none have popped up yet. I've even had a message request (I think) that I can do nothing about because we're not matched. The "Spotlight" page is very interesting with a strong "For You", "Similar Interests" and "Same Goals" sections with some very interesting profiles local to me. However all you can do in there is "Super Love", which you have to pay for. It seems like you can message anyone for free off the "Universe" page, but then what's the point of the matches? Is it really this bad or am I missing something? At least on Tinder et al you get one or a few "Super Loves" free and the chance to actually see who likes you!

You ask one woman to move onto whatsapp, she's like 'Umm, I'm not really comfortable enough to give you my number'. Fair enough.
You ask another lady, 'Do you use telegram?' She grills you about lacking transparency and disconnects.
It's a fucking minefield out there. I'm so fucking over dating apps. It's brutal.

26/F and 31/M
18 months into our relationship

Would seeing a “building friendship app” on your partners phone
warrant concern to anyone? really hope I’m thinking too far into this but I just can’t shake the feeling that this app I saw on their phone was designed for local hookups.

I downloaded the Bondi app. It was recommended on a different thread

I've never had any luck with ding apps in the past. And yet, in my first day, i've got several matches

I'm skeptical because i've never had luck.Whether or not these are legit. The photos seem real and the conversations don't seem like their ai, but i'm still a little skeptical

Does anyone have any feedback on this app? Whether or not I should trust it

W/23 I‘m in an open relationship and I tried some dating apps in the last two days. In my bio I always said that I‘m in an open relationship and that I‘m looking for ONS only. When I chatted with someone, we spoke about what we would like to do and sometimes I received nudes. I only posted a face picture on my profile and only sent pictures with gym clothes or a bikini. However, now I got banned on all 4 open minded dating apps I tried. What did I do wrong? And how can I find someone online now?

Just curious

I don’t have many good pictures of myself right now. I have three decent lifestyle/candid photos, but I feel like I need at least one or two more.

I also have a really good black-and-white headshot that was taken professionally for work. It’s quite serious and polished, but it’s probably the clearest close-up I have of my face and features.

Would it be weird to include it on a dating profile? Maybe at the end? Could it make me seem too serious, corporate, or like I’m trying too hard.

I also work a lot and have a "serious" job, so in a way it represents part of my lifestyle.

The other images on my profile are more chill and friendly.

Thanks

I’m 27m and have been using hinge for a couple years now and have been on many dates/relationships and most of them have ended by them using me for free rides and meals no genuine interest in me as a person. I don’t use other apps because I can’t get any matches for the life of me. They want me to drive them around everywhere and pay for every single date not even willing to split it at any point. I feel like I’ll never find a woman that’s genuinely interested in me and likes me for me. Idk if it’s because of my looks or what?

I 43f have been single for three years now my last relationship ended really badly, but I was so inlove with him and very happy and I thought he would be end game , but that didn’t happen. I gave myself this time to just heal and try to get over everything between him and I I would say I am in a better place, but I still think of him and I still miss him. But I ended up getting back on the apps about a month ago and it’s either I don’t find them attractive at all or if I match with a guy there’s just no connection. It’s like I’m doing all the talking all the asking questions and most of them don’t know how to communicate back or we will be talking for a week or more and they don’t wanna plan a date and it just makes me sad because I would love to meet someone and start fresh. I’m just losing hope honestly and I feel even getting on the apps is just a hassle cause I’m tired of just trying to have these conversations with different men and it just being a waste of time or any of you having issues like this ?

Bro so I stop talking to a guy because it became clear he was kind of leading me on, ok. Apparently I've gone through any and all "matches".

70% of the guys on the app are just not compatible for me, country music loving deer hunting conservative (or moderate) types. I tried hinge and most people were either conservative, moderate or "not political". I still don't get what that means. You don't have any opinions on our world, history, how human beings are treated? Pick a side. Even if it is just so people know what kind of person you are.

10% are like "head?' "come over tonight?" Or can literally ONLY say they are horny. Nothing more. Listen I also wanna hookup but I at least need a vibe check? I'm a young woman I'm tryna stay safe(ish)

Like, I've gone to a few places but we meetup for at least a few minutes in public first, and usually I pick up some personal info of yours for security. 1st guy had shown me all the labs he worked at, I saw his linkedin. Its just to make sure your honest tbh. The other guy, I knew his brother a little and told a few friends whom I was seeing. Its nothing more than making sure you are who you say, and if you murder me there's evidence 🤷

Like I'm not against a hookup, but have some game guys. Don't just catch me off guard it's creepy and shi

20% don't actually text you ever, even if you do reach out.

Maybe 5% wanna meet up and follow through?

I think I'ma delete all these apps and try again in a few months idk.

So yeah, dating is very easy as a woman 💯

Maybe it is for like, very very attractive women though, but I'm like a 5.5/10.

Also like, I'll like a guy he doesn't need to be like, a 8/10 or anything but please stop taking selfies at horrific angles that make you look like an iPad kid who found his mom's phone, please, And brush your hair.

Any advice for dating in general, maybe starting to date IRL when I am graduated from school, don't really have a lot of ways to meet people. Any dating apps that aren't hinge, duet, tinder, or bumble y'all would recommend?

I get more likes on tinder than hinge so I’m asking if Hinge is more difficult for everyone ?

Breeze dating app wipes the floor with the competition. Using it is like a breath of fresh air in the steamy world of online dating. With Breeze you pay per date rather than for a subscription, which aligns the business's intentions with the user's. The app is brilliantly designed to minimise dating app burnout by simplifying the matching process. No chat, once you match, you meet. You just input your availability and Breeze makes the decision on time and location.

The older apps like hinge and tinder still have the advantage of having more users, but if the Breeze community could just grow a little more, I could finally say there's no reason to use Hinge, with its questionable subscription model and painstaking chat function, and delete it.

Please do join us on Breeze and reply to this thread if you have any questions.

I recently tried to update my profile on Match. I made some changes to the text and changed some photos (added and deleted). Match rejected my update saying I had violated community standards, saying I should review the standards. The message was delivered by a bot. No other info was provided on what *specifically* caused the rejection. I read the ?-page standards and didn’t see an issue so I appealed.

Match wanted at least 5 of 7 questions answered in order to ‘verify’ my account. They didn’t like my answers because I used info from the update I *tried* to load when answering questions about when I last updated my photos. They also wanted to know when I last messaged someone and who it was, but I can’t answer those because they wipe your communications after a period of time.

Still no specifics on what triggered the rejection. My *guess* is terms like ‘dying’ (as in I’m dying to do something again) ran afoul of the AI bot’s delicate sensibilities regarding advocating violence but I can’t be sure because Match won’t tell me. I can’t even change my attempted profile update to remove what I *think* are offending terms. I can’t update photos either. My account is in stasis. At least they left my old profile up, for all the good that does.

Has anybody else had this experience and did it eventually get resolved ?

i'm sick and tired of dating, there's alot of shitty girls in 2026 but i'm sure there are good girls. most of them are boring online and in person but if you're lucky you meet fun girls

i have low block threshold for girls, i block at the first sign of disinterest like leaving me on read or reply slowly or dry texts, i just don't put up with bs at all

how do you guys find dating in 2026?

instagram dating is impossible, lots of girls are boring and stupid they don't see your value so i just focus on wealth and success, i ended up blocking 3700+ girls on insta cuz i dm them but they either flake, don't reply, slow reply or act dumb.

Hi all. So, I love complaining about stuff but haven't had a chance to do so about men in dating apps cause no one in my waking life is on them, idk how they manage.

So here's a list of all my grievances, about men, their profiles, their pictures, etc.:

- (specific to Ok Cupid) When they write "can't see likes send intro". Hello? That's what swiping is for? No one on the free app can see likes! SWIPE!!!

- When all they do in their bios is say what they DON'T like about women. It always reads soo hateful too, like, do they actually like women?

- Why do they have SUCH BAD PICTURES. All the damn time. It's so icky to see a guy with a terrible mirror selfie and another one in his car with his tongue out. Or the famous group pics! I don't mind fish pics cause that's just a hobby? Sure it's the same one they all have but at least he has one?

-The bios. WHEN THEY SAY "JUST ASK" hellooooo????? The point of your bio is so that I can assess a little bit the type of person you are. Just ask is so boring and lazy! Not zero effort, NEGATIVE effort!

-This isn't so much about their profiles but a thing they do. Liking everyone without looking, and filtering AFTER they get a match. WHY ARE YOU WASTING MY TIME. Don't find me attractive, PLEASE don't like my profile!

-Saying no fatties, no uggos, no this, no that. UM LOOK AT THE PROFILES AND LIKE OR DISLIKE ACCORDINGLY?

I'm sure there are more things that men do that annoy me, but that's all I can think of rn. Sometimes I wish I could leave comments and advice. To so many of them the advice would be therapy. Cause like, do you actually wanna be here? Do you actually like women? Do you really think those 3 picture that you took within this dating app showcase your best angle? DO YOU OWN A MIRROR?

IDK, feel free to tell me what you dislike about men or women on dating apps.

Tl;dr: men on dating apps are annoying.

EDIT: I knew men would say women do these too! Hahaha but I'm a straight woman swiping for men so that's what I comment on. FOR ME I don't like it so I don't do it.

If a guy (20s) states he’s looking for short-term and monogamous— does it typically mean he’s only committed to hooking up with one person? I don’t believe it💀

I can’t get tinder verification to work and I can’t understand why. I thought it was because I’ve lost 100+ lbs so I updated my photos (Personally, I do not see a difference but everyone else in my life is telling me I look different) but that hasn’t helped. I updated all of my pics to more recent ones to try and have it work right but I still can’t get verified.

ATP, I think it’s a race issue since I know that ai algorithms are worse with darker skin?? Idk what to do. I’ve tried uploading all sorts of photos and tinder still can’t verify I’m me. The weight loss has made Face ID difficult too so I’m slowly accepting that may be the cause but I can change that.

Does tinder verification base it off of my ID photo? My ID photo was 120 lbs ago so I guess I look different but all of my pics on the app itself are recent. I don’t want to go to the dmv…. But Idk what I need to do to have verification work???

As the title states. Nothing more nothing less

Dating apps can trap some people in cycles of false hope that ultimately leave them feeling more isolated. You are shown many women who you would like to meet and some of which do indeed respond and sound enthusiastic about meeting. But this is always short-lived. Once again, the conversation disappears without explanation. And then you get a little sad that she ghosted you, but you tell yourself that you ought to keep a positive mindset and keep trying if you want to be successful in this game. Sure enough, sometime later, just before you lose hope, you match and begin chatting with another woman whom you'd like to meet with. But like before, she ghosts you before things can escalate.

You can only maintain your resolve for so long. Year after year, the same pattern of short-lived attention followed by disappearance with zero accountability starts to weigh on you. It starts to make you feel sad, and then frustrated, and then you even begin questioning your worth. "Am I too chopped and need to lower my standards?" you ask yourself. You try better photos, better captions, and more thoughtful replies. These attempts may yield slight improvement but ultimately fail to produce quality dates. The constant cycle of almost-connection may actually be more emotionally draining than straightforward rejection because it repeatedly generates hope before withdrawing it.

"Dating apps are simply too competitive for the average guy," you reassure yourself looking for something else to blame. "The algorithm is rigged against us and these apps have no incentive to actually setting people up successfully, because after all, they only profit when people continue to use the apps" you reason. You might even have started believing that the users you've been chatting with are bots or even shill accounts operated by the app's staff to string you along with intermittent attention cycles to hook you in like the casino does while promoting a subscription that preys on your emotion. Yes, that is a real theory.

The solution isn't necessarily deleting apps overnight, but refusing to let them become your only strategy. The alternative is meeting in person the good old-fashioned way. "That is the way!" you think to yourself, "much easier and much better chances." Only now, you realize the statistical improbability of meeting someone given your current weekly routine. Between work, the gym, the grocery store, and walks around the neighbourhood, you recall rarely encountering anyone you find interesting. So you must adapt. You must go new places, try new activities, and ultimately get out of your comfort zone. Will it be inconvenient? Yes. Will it feel daunting and dreadful? Yes. But this is the better way.

Maybe the problem isn't dating apps themselves, but what happens when they become our only strategy. It's easy to mistake swiping for progress because it feels like you're putting yourself out there. But matches aren't relationships, and conversations aren't connections. If you're serious about meeting someone, don't outsource your entire dating life to an app. Build a life that regularly puts you in front of new people, even if it's less convenient. Real opportunities often come from real places.

I’m 34F, and have been single since December 2024 and because dating looks completely different in 2026 compared to when I was last single, I’ve been on and off multiple apps.

I just wanted to find out if anyone else looks at a profile thinking “oh this person seems nice” but then there’s that one thing that stops you from going any further, or if I just know more now what I’m looking for/ not looking for.

For example, guys using the prompt “the first round is on me if…” and answering it with something like “you buy the next one, that’s how rounds work” (ok, who hurt you?) The prompt sounds generous on the surface (“first round’s on me!”) but then their answer reveals it’s actually conditional on you reciprocating, so it’s less “I’ll treat you” and more “let’s split it, but I get to frame it as my treat first.” I’ve also seen similar answers like “the best looking person buys the first round” which is also in my opinion an odd thing to say.

Just to clarify, it’s not that I’m against splitting costs or someone wanting reciprocity, it’s the mismatch between how it’s presented (generous) and what it actually means (conditional).

Curious to hear other people’s thoughts.