(46f) Why does it seem like suddenly men (and I’m talking over 40) feel the need to have a shirtless photo on their profile? Do the women all have bikini photos and I’m just missing the memo? Personally I find it just weird… a nice fitted shirt gets the message across just fine.

I created my profile 2 days ago. I'm looking for something serious but the amount of guys that put the "long-term relationship" goal AND "casual" is astonishing.

Every time I glance at their profiles their height is always at 6 ft I just don’t understand how many guys are all magically 6 ft on this apps.

Incoming yes rate of 0.54%. Born in Toronto. Lived in GTA all my life. I'm 5'5", fit build. Been on Bumble/Hinge for about 2 years after a long distance relationship ended with Italian women from United States after 10 months who we met on an online forum that's gone now. Only one Bumble match led to a date with an Indian women.
I've had better success on Hinge at actually going on dates even though my match rate is lower at 0.4% for Hinge. The past couple years on Hinge I've gone out with

Russian woman in mid 20s

Costa Rican in her 30s

3 dates with a Persian in early 30s a year ago

white woman in early 30s

last match on Hinge was back this year March with a tall almost 6' Persian in early 20s where we had a month relationship before she decided to end it. Took her to do quite a few things and places, getting physical and doing things like a couple.

Lots of Hinge matches had stopped messaging back or cancelled date on me day before. While it's possible to go on dates being below average height Asian guy in North America it can definitely take a long time with dating apps lol I haven't received a match since the last relationship ended in April. So lots of free time I've had so far this summer just hanging with friends, sports and gym lol

Out of these 4 pics which 2 pics or 1 pic should i upload to my bumble profile… btw she’s my baby rottie zoe. 👒

I matched with this guy on Bumble, and we started talking. After texting for a while, he suggested we get on a call, and we ended up talking for three straight hours, which was pretty surprising for a first match. During the call, he made it seem like we had so much in common and even opened up about a trauma he said he had never shared with anyone before. He also told me he had been in a four-year relationship, was engaged, but later found out his fiancée had been cheating on him with his best friend. According to him, he broke off the engagement, left all his belongings behind, and moved back. He also said he had been single for the last one and a half years. After our conversation, he asked me out, so I agreed and suggested we connect on Instagram first. We exchanged Instagram handles, and later that day, while I was at a function, I told him it was raining. He offered to come and pick me up, took me to a nice restaurant, and throughout the date, he kept trying to impress me and came across as a very caring and thoughtful person. I asked him if he had been on any dates or matched with other girls before me, and he said he had only met one girl from Bumble before, but things didn’t work out between them. After dinner, he suggested we get ice cream, and instead of ordering two, he thought it would be nice to share one. I was already full, so I agreed. We sat there sharing the ice cream, and honestly, it was a really nice moment. Throughout the evening, he kept saying that we should meet again. At the same time, I felt like he wanted to kiss me or make out with me, but I kept my distance because it was our first time meeting, and I wasn’t comfortable taking things that fast. After dropping me home, he asked if I’d like to go hiking with him the next morning, and I told him I’d let him know.
That night, I was scrolling through his Instagram and noticed a girl’s comment on one of his posts, but I didn’t think much of it. The next morning, he texted me saying he was going on a trip with his family. A little later, I realized he had removed me from Instagram, which left me confused. Before messaging him, I decided to check that girl’s profile since it was public. That’s when I found several reels of them together that had originally been posted by him but had been archived around the time I started following him. After he removed me from Instagram, those reels became visible again. From the posts, it was clear they had been in a relationship for over a year, and just a couple of weeks earlier, he had posted a reel celebrating their one-year anniversary together. I was completely shocked because he had told me he had been single for the last one and a half years. I immediately blocked him on Instagram, although we were still matched on Bumble. We never spoke again, but I noticed his Bumble profile was still active and still said he was looking for a long-term relationship, making me realize he was likely continuing to match with other women while still being in a relationship. Should dm his girlfriend and tell her what’s her boyfriend is doing behind her back?

I remember when I go back to DR the photos I use which are generally selfies I’m still able to do very well and speak to many women and go on multiple dates yet here in nyc where technically you can get a huge amount of likes I severely struggle to find a girl let alone her to show high interest in me leading to 0 dates and lots of ghosting like behavior. Like I wish I could wake up to a message in the morning saying “Yes King”, “good morning daddy” but Nhaa nothing so my confidence is in the negatives. I remember years ago when I first downloaded tinder for the first time I became severely depressed and couldn’t believe that no matter how hard I tried I would not get a like except for that one girl who said I look like niko avacado when he was fat 😭.

Any advice is appreciated :)

I've seen a number of posts from people mentioning that they are seeing the same girls on both Seeking Arrangement and Bumble. I'm not seeing it in Michigan. Seeking Arrangement seems pretty sparse in Michigan. I was hoping Bumble might have better options. What are you seeing in other areas?

So dates go pretty “good” at least when it comes to communication there’s laughing and teasing and no awkward moments. Like they go very well. But there’s never a second date.

I want to say I am “attractive” because I am getting dates and also I am good at communication but my dates never turn into anything serious.

When we are talking and our preferences and tattoos come in the conversation they always end up saying they like guys with tattoos and pretty much describe the bad boy with tattoos who is extroverted that you can find in clubs night life.

And they end up having tattoos themselves. I personally don’t like tattoos on my future partner but I like to say I am open minded and I can accept one or two tatoo and if it’s small and of course what it is but, the last girl I went out with she had a big tatoo underneath her chest. I didn’t know. I was like well whatever she seems alright and she’s cute. I texted her asking her out again and she left me on read.

I am not the bad boy type of men, but I also not the “nice guy” I am a nerd who I take care of my appearance and I am into fitness and sports (practicing sports) with friends, books and don’t like going out to clubs I am 28.

I think I should consider looking for a partner somewhere else like not on the dating apps or maybe consider dating older women

All my dates are 23/26 but that’s who I match with. I rarely match with women in their 30s In reality I’m looking to get married and have kids

I recently found out my very unwell ex tried to catfish people with my number while she was with me a while ago. It’s literally the most insane thing I’ve ever dealt with and Bumble doesn’t care. I’ve gone through so many layers of “safety” to be treated like shit. I’d just like to be able to have a dating profile again. You’d think they’d do better.

If you didnt meet your spouse in college do you think youre forced to go on a dating app to meet your spouse or just never get married? i want a wife but i didnt meet one in college are dating apps my only choice now?

I think it’s logical to unmatch someone after chatting on WhatsApp or text. What’s your take?

ETA: Thanks everyone for your points of view. Really enlightening. I get that it’s not a good practice for a number of reasons.

I was swiping on the app and then Bumble gave me a pop-up that said something like "why not start a conversation with name?" and it was a guy who I really hoped to match with (I gave him a like about 4-6 days ago, when he showed up on my discover page), so I excitedly tapped away from the pop-up and he wasn't anywhere in my conversations? It wasn't an unmatch and it wasn't in the expiring conversations section, his name just wasn't there. Now, because I tapped away, there's seemingly no way to get to this "conversation", so I would like to know how I can chat with this guy. Have you had that pop-up before? Does it come back if I keep swiping?

I've been seeing a guy (long distance) for about two months. We've met six times, and we've stayed at each others place for a few days each visit.

A few weeks in, I asked if he'd delete Bumble, which he agreed to and said he'd delete it. I deleted mine too.

A few days ago, my friend saw his profile on Bumble while swiping. Since our chat disappeared from my Bumble, I'm guessing he unmatched me instead of deleting his account.

What bothers me is that he agreed to delete it and apparently didn't. If he'd told me he wanted to keep using Bumble, I could have decided if I was okay with that. Instead, I feel like he lied, and now I've lost trust.

Am I overreacting, or would this be a dealbreaker for you?

I don't understand what makes them think to do that.

Removed mirror selfies and more smile :)

I am an ugly guy (5’3”) and I get no likes or matches.

It has genuinely affected me to see how women view me. It hurts and as a retaliation, I’m developing a distaste towards women.

How do I counter this?

I have premium. My account is also somewhat older and I think it’s pretty buried in the algorithm in my area by this point. I get maybe 2-4 likes per week and if I’m lucky I’ll get a match. According to my account stats, 7-8% of women swipe right on me.

I travel somewhat often for work. When I am traveling, it’s an entirely different story. Most of the time, I’ll get somewhere between 5-15 likes per night I’m on the road (if I don’t remember to set travel mode to my hometown before leaving).

I have my spotlight settings to automatically run at the “best time”. I don’t really care about when my spotlights are used because I think they’re worthless. My spotlight has run at least 3 different times when I’ve been traveling for work, and so far I’ve gotten one single like from it, which is arguably less than you’d expect if they hadn’t been used at all.

If you’re spending money on these I really highly recommend that you stop. I’m sure this is already common knowledge but just wanted to add my experience in case it’s not

I do not understand and this disturbs me. Because it comes very hard and it is very few. I have experienced this once more. After i requested a report from bumble, my matches increased and i could reach some people and i didnt have this stress. But i am not sure whether it depends on just chance or bumble. I deleted my profile several times. What do you think?

Context: I am a fairly average guy of turkish ethnicity living in Central Europe

I used to get like 1-3 likes a day consistently for like 6 months straight. I didn't pay a dime. Then bumble gave me the option for unlimited (or how they call it) forever. I said sure it's really cheap and it's a one off so I took it. Lonand behold since then I have like zero likes or interactions or anything on there. I asked at some point support if something happened after I got premium and they gave me a warning.

Seriously wtf?