This isn’t the first time I’ve seen someone with a bio similar to this. I just wanna understand what you think is going to happen when you put your bitterness on full display on a dating app??

Been using Bumble for years now, and I've also spent +$300 on premiums and extras. Does anyone else have a worse percentage than mine? lol

Had a couple matches over the years. Probably like 1/5 agreed to a date, but never actually made it to one.

Just got my Bumble stats and it's not looking good. So I am wondering if I'm giving a weird vibe with my pictures.

EDIT: Thanks for all the tips guys. What I mostly get from you:

• Too many gym photos / Looks like the gym is my whole personality / Gives off "gym bro" vibes.
• Should use more pictures of other hobbies, travel, and everyday life.
• Should use fewer selfies and more candid photos.
• The pictures are more targeted towards the male instead of female gaze

Will update the pictures and see how it goes

A man (early 60s) liked me (divorced 56F) on Bumble in June.  His pictures were appealing without being catfish gorgeous, and no fish or messy bathrooms selfies. He was local and matched my education level, politics and religion. Both of our profiles say looking for LTR. He had an actual bio that described how kindness and looking out for others matters. And stated that “at his core he’s a decent guy looking for someone decent too.”  Green Flags. 

I liked him back. He wrote thoughtful, witty answers to questions and moved the conversation forward with questions about me. I complimented him on his writing and how bringing out the best in others made him happy.  All Green Flags. 

The only odd thing was that the app consistently showed his location as Suburb A. When I went to a wedding shower at a church in Suburb A, and asked if it was near him, he said he actually lives in Suburb B (20 miles away, and closer to me) and his VPN makes it looks like he’s in A. But he knows the church. I didn’t press on how he knew a church 20 miles away and replied I live not far from Suburb B.

When messages started getting flirty, I did some online sleuthing. LinkedIn showed 3 potential matches based on his first name and career. I used first and last names to find him on Facebook, where his profile photo showed him and a woman hugging in Europe in April.  FB “personal details” say he lives in Suburb A and he’s married to <her full name>. A glance at her profile confirmed it’s her in his photos. Red Flags and a hard boundary for me. If his profile gave any indication he was married, ENM, poly, seeking discreet fun, etc. I would not have matched.

I was unsure what to do with my annoyance and disappointment, and I typed and deleted quite a few different messages to him. I considered ghosting. 

And then I thought about his wife. I decided to lookup her phone number and texted, “Is this <her first name> married to <his first name>?” I unmatched him and then sent her screenshots of his profile and our first messages. Saw a read receipt within two hours. She did not follow up afterward which didn’t really surprise me. I did not contact her again.

Now I’m second guessing. AITA for sending his Bumble profile to his wife?  

(46f) Why does it seem like suddenly men (and I’m talking over 40) feel the need to have a shirtless photo on their profile? Do the women all have bikini photos and I’m just missing the memo? Personally I find it just weird… a nice fitted shirt gets the message across just fine.

Damn girl who hurt you

I am an ugly guy (5’3”) and I get no likes or matches.

It has genuinely affected me to see how women view me. It hurts and as a retaliation, I’m developing a distaste towards women.

How do I counter this?

(EDIT: Alright, thanks for all the suggestions and thoughts. I’ll just delete my profile until I get a better hairstyle, glasses, and pics the. I’ll jump back in to the app later).

These are my numbers (and my profile) after 2 months of swiping.

Before anyone attacks me about my 8% outgoing swipe rate as a guy, yes, I'm not looking to date in general, I'm looking for someone who covers a lot of what I'm looking for in a life partner.

No, I'm not only swiping on "super models out of my league". Again, I'm very specific about what I want, even if that means just one date a year.

Yes I understand this is not the best way to go about it, yes I understand that "beggars can't be choosers".

Yes I understand that what people write in their bios doesn't necessarily reflect who they are as a person, and I'm trying to be more conscious about this with my swipes.

_________________

What can I do better here?

Removed mirror selfies and more smile :)

I don't understand what makes them think to do that.

So it’s been about a year since a breakup and I told myself it’s time to try to put myself out there. So I made a Bumble account and honestly the most jarring thing was just the lack of people. Obviously I’m not surprised that there were a lot more when I was in my early to mid 20s but damn I didn’t expect it to be this bad. For context I’m just outside a smaller midwestern city but I had to expand my radius out to 60 miles just to see people and that’s not even a realistic distance if we’re being practical.

Just wondering if anyone else experiences this.

It's been dry for months and I'm not sure what I'm doing wrong.

In the Uber. Wore spanx under my romper body suit to smooth me, but it grabbed my thong and yanked it to the side. So now I'm sitting in the back with a cleft lip. He's already outside waiting for me 😂😂😭😭

I've been seeing a guy (long distance) for about two months. We've met six times, and we've stayed at each others place for a few days each visit.

A few weeks in, I asked if he'd delete Bumble, which he agreed to and said he'd delete it. I deleted mine too.

A few days ago, my friend saw his profile on Bumble while swiping. Since our chat disappeared from my Bumble, I'm guessing he unmatched me instead of deleting his account.

What bothers me is that he agreed to delete it and apparently didn't. If he'd told me he wanted to keep using Bumble, I could have decided if I was okay with that. Instead, I feel like he lied, and now I've lost trust.

Am I overreacting, or would this be a dealbreaker for you?

So dates go pretty “good” at least when it comes to communication there’s laughing and teasing and no awkward moments. Like they go very well. But there’s never a second date.

I want to say I am “attractive” because I am getting dates and also I am good at communication but my dates never turn into anything serious.

When we are talking and our preferences and tattoos come in the conversation they always end up saying they like guys with tattoos and pretty much describe the bad boy with tattoos who is extroverted that you can find in clubs night life.

And they end up having tattoos themselves. I personally don’t like tattoos on my future partner but I like to say I am open minded and I can accept one or two tatoo and if it’s small and of course what it is but, the last girl I went out with she had a big tatoo underneath her chest. I didn’t know. I was like well whatever she seems alright and she’s cute. I texted her asking her out again and she left me on read.

I am not the bad boy type of men, but I also not the “nice guy” I am a nerd who I take care of my appearance and I am into fitness and sports (practicing sports) with friends, books and don’t like going out to clubs I am 28.

I think I should consider looking for a partner somewhere else like not on the dating apps or maybe consider dating older women

All my dates are 23/26 but that’s who I match with. I rarely match with women in their 30s In reality I’m looking to get married and have kids

Swiped right in May 2023 and I just asked her to marry me last week 💍

I'm a male and I'm feeling hopeless of my situation, and when I say the app isn't helping I'm actually blaming myself. I live in a small isolated town so the dating pool is extremely limited, the average profile is 150-300 km. Then again I'm the last of siblings to still live at home, I also don't drive and don't have a license either, I don't know how to talk or text so I'm the boring guy who doesn't know what to say due to fear of judgement and only having niche interests. I'm trying to go back to online school for a degree after failing the first time so I was set back years on debt so now that it's mostly paid off I can set my life back another 6 years of staying at home with no life other than work and hobbies.

Sure, I volunteer and play sports but when you're in a town of under 2k, can't drive out of town, everyones taken, and I have this overall assumption that I'm too juvenile, undesirable, or undeserving of a girlfriend due to my weird personality. I have friends but I'm introverted so I have few pictures actually taken of me so I have to rely on selfies for now.

I did shoot myself in the foot so I'm not blaming anyone but myself, what's the point of using this app when I don't have the resources to make something work. I dream of being in a relationship and feeling affection everyday and I'm afraid it's overtaking my personality and mood and because I missed out so much on life and I don't have the resources to make something happen I'm almost positive I never will.

How can I cope with the fact that I will probably never land a true relationship (I was in a relationship once for three months, but it was platonic and unrequited)

This is definitely not normal considering every person my age are in relationships, I'm the only one at my job who's still single, all my friends are taken, people younger than me are taken and living independently, and I've never been in a relationship, it's pretty embarrassing to be honest, something is definitely wrong with me, I know what it is but I can't fix it. When people leave relationships, they just pick one up like it's nothing, some even say "it's not hard." So yeah, pure skill issue

I'm not a bad guy, or bad looking, but I'm in poor circumstances, with very niche personalities and I can't start, or carry meaningful conversations, so that's purely a skill issue of mine

Transparency I downloaded the stats but was not on the app for almost 9 months probably. This is roughly a year of data I would say.

I think I had like 5 dates? From Bumble. I am picky myself when it comes to dating because I only have an age and distance filter, prefer people who speak my native language and live in a big urban area.

I've been locked out of my account, and reached out to bumble support via the chat feature. I got a confirmation email in which the AI agent stated it would be forwarded to the appropriate department. That was THREE WEEKS AGO.

I also attempted to reach them via Facebook messenger two weeks ago. Absolutely no response.

Worst of all, I'm being charged a monthly subscription. This is absolutely unacceptable. WTF do I actually have to do to be able to reach someone at bumble support?

I maxed out my free swipes the last couple of days and got some matches. But the problem is that no one responds to my messages. I ask questions about their interests if it's listed on their profiles, or where they took that photo, but keeps timing out without response for the last 20ish match :(

Is there anything else I can do to improve my chances, other than swiping right on everyone?

Every time I see this, I'm like "... BRUH" 🙄

I've seen a number of posts from people mentioning that they are seeing the same girls on both Seeking Arrangement and Bumble. I'm not seeing it in Michigan. Seeking Arrangement seems pretty sparse in Michigan. I was hoping Bumble might have better options. What are you seeing in other areas?