Me and my friends were having our recess and suddenly one of them talked about beauty and stuff. First, she complimented my friend and called her being a "baddie pretty" and that she is her type of pretty. After that, she looked and me and said, "You're pretty but not my type of pretty." Until this moment, i still don't understand what she meant at that time. Soo am I ugly looking based on her dictionary? I just can't understand why she said that lol.

Another information that might help, she is aware of how toxic our beauty standard is and very much understands that beauty is not everything but sometimes she acts otherwise which confuses me so much can anyone help me to figure out

I can check my skin for hours, it gives me peace for no more than 1 hour, then it repeats itself, at the moment there may be a breakdown and then in a minute it gets easier, this case can just occupy my whole day, I can't fight it in any way, we practiced with the chat jbt for 20 minutes, be patient and don't check the alley, I can't go and check, I wake up in the morning, I think about it, fall asleep, think about it, I want not to think, but I can't.I don't know why I'm writing this here, but I just don't know how to deal with it anymore

We have collected a set of stories and informative pieces about BDD. From stories from people who have overcome it to celebrities who have openly talked about it, you can find articles and videos about body dysmorphia from these following links.

Public figures on BDD

• Modern Family actor Reid Ewing on BDD and plastic surgery
• Artist Billie Eilish on depression and BDD
• The Good Place actor Jameela Jamil on BDD and eating disorders
• Actor Robert Pattinson on anxiety and BDD
• Actor Megan Fox on BDD and mental health

Documentaries and videos

• What BDD feels like | BBC Three
• Seeing myself as ugly | BBC Three
• I feel so ugly: Body dysmorphic disorder | Only Human
• Imperfect me: The impact of BDD | SkyNews
• BDD patients see faces differently | ABC Science
• Bigorexia: Muscle dysmorphia | BBC Newsbeat
• Believing is seeing: New perspective on BDD | TEDx Oxford
• The BDD Foundation on Youtube

Personal stories and interviews

• Perfection is impossible | A personal story
• Living with BDD | A personal story
• I felt so ugly I didn't want to be alive | Interview
• BDD ruined my life | Interview

Podcasts

• Beating BDD podcast (11 episodes) | BDDFoundation
• What is BDD? | Stuff Mom Never Told You

Books

• Books by people with BDD
• Books by professionals on self help
• The BDD workbook

Recovery from BDD might sometimes feel like a distant goal that seems, at times, impossible to achieve. But many people recover from BDD or learn to reduce the symptoms to the point where they don't play a role in their everyday life. Remember that a mental disorder is not a life long sentence but rather something that can be managed and recovered from.

Here we have collected a set of stories and advice on what recovery looks like and how others have gotten there.

Watch personal stories

• Tips for Overcoming Body Image Issues | Kim White
• My BDD Recovery | Annie Elainey
• Finding body peace | Annie Elainey
• Healing Ugly – How I healed my body dysmorphia | helloamygarner
• How I Deal With BDD, tips for when you're having a rough time | AlexandriaTheGreat
• BDD (& Things That Can Help) | Melanie Murphy
• Hannah Lewis, recovery story | BDD foundation
• Alex Mummery, recovery story | BDD foundation

Read personal stories

• Recovery stories | BDDFoundation
• How I recovered from BDD | International OCD Foundation

Professional advice

• CBT for BDD - Rob Willson / BDDFoundation
• Coping and Recovering from BDD when you have Visible Flaws - Dr Rob Willson

Healthier perspective

• On feeling ugly | School of Life
• Our Bodies are Not an Image | Mary Jelkovsky, TEDx
• Beauty and how we're obsessed with the wrong idea | Christina Gressianu / TEDx
• Body Positivity or Body Obsession? | Lindsay Kite, TEDx
• Shake my beauty - a series redefining what beauty means

I’m 25M and I am, as accurate as I can possibly determine, 5’10 inches tall. I know that statistically that is not short, and for the first 24 years of my life I have never had a problem with my height. I was always roughly around the middle-slightly higher part of the children’s growth chart and thought of myself as normal. This all changed about a year ago when a nurse at my job (my job has a nurses office) used a faulty stadiometer to measure me as 5’9. Ever since then, I have had two major problems:

1. I cannot for the life of me accept that I am actually 5’10.

I ended up measuring my height a couple different ways. First, I used a wall and a butane can and a pencil to mark the height on the wall. Then, I bought a stadiometer from Amazon and used that to measure how tall I was. Third, I used books on top of a fridge to act like a stadiometer. Lastly, I have been measured by nurses since then at physicals/ my job. I asked a nurse to check the stadiometer that gave me the 5’9 reading, and it was indeed calibrated wrong. When I remeasured on the same stadiometer, I was indeed 5’10. If you have a question about my methods, I’m glad to share in fuller detail but I don’t have enough space or time to type it all out.

I measured myself impulsively between this time. If I had to guess, the average I would have measured myself would be 4 times a day or over 1000 times total. Some were 0, a lot were 2, many were upwards of 50 a day. I needed to have my head position right, timing, feet position correct, not move the butane can, take a picture of the result and document it and many many other things to believe it as an “acceptable” measurement. And even then, I would second guess myself and do it over and over again. I got a therapist at the time and to be honest it did not really help. I would measure myself until my back hurt, lay down and recover, and do it over and over again for days in a row. It was the number one thing I did for a couple months. And even after all that, just because of one false measurement, I still don’t believe I’m 5’10.

1. I have convinced myself that 5’10 is too short to deserve love and that I should basically die alone or kill myself. I have no reason why I am so stupid to believe this, as I have had very very good luck with women in the past. I even have a girlfriend now! But every time I am on social media it turns into “you are ugly and unattractive and are subhuman waste that shouldn’t be able to breathe oxygen.” Any confidence I had with women (and I had a lot of confidence) has been gone in the past year because I basically cyber bullied myself using incel content and superficial women on tiktok. I don’t think I deserve love even though I have it. I don’t think I deserve anything. I don’t even know what real life is anymore; it is like I am entranced in a vision that promotes extreme self hatred.

What do I even do at this point? I’m just tired and I want my thoughts to stop. I’m pathetic, this is pathetic, and I need advice on how to be happy.

Any advice is appreciated 🙏

29f and the past month has been beyond horrible. My body is filled with anxiety and depression. I haven’t worked in almost 2 weeks it’s been so bad. I barely leave the house. I don’t feel like my therapist gets it at all. I’m just really tired and feel no hope.

I looked in my mirror earlier and thought my thighs actually looked good and then i looked again some minutes ago and its like its back to regular old criticizing myself but i know nothing changed. like idk if other people also feel like in their vision their body parts change throughout the day too even though theyre not like for example i thought my legs looked nice and toned earlier but now after looking in the mirror i thought that they looked bad

Every time I see myself in pictures I want to cry at how disgusted I am with myself. And when I confide in my close friends or anyone really they say “no you look great” but what are they going to say no you’re right you look like crap? And in a world of all the people I looked up to going on ozempic it’s really hard to not fall down that rabbit hole. But I don’t trust glp-1 on top of I don’t think I’d know when to stop. But what am I supposed to do? Diet for the rest of my life? Has anyone else run into this? How do you get out of that rut ?

About a year ago, I (20F) was 73kg at 164cm. I didn't think I was overweight, and I was pretty happy with my body. I knew I wasn't the skinniest in the room, but I had great glutes haha, and a curvy shape that I was very satisfied with, despite the very occasional, mild thought that I was chubby.

I began dating a guy who said that "You're a 10/10, but if you start going to the gym, you can become a 100/100", whatever that meant. So I began my fitness journey.

I immediately thought the first thing I needed to do was lose weight, so I went into an aggressive calorie deficit. As expected, I lost a good amount of weight. Today, I'm around 56kg.

Despite so many people telling me I look amazing now and asking me how I did it, I feel worse than I ever have before. I feel like I am simultaneously still fat and also have no butt anymore haha. And I view myself from before as super obese now, even though back then I never had any real issue with my weight; I was far more confident before.

Many times I go to the gym, I see other women with bigger glutes, or better muscle definition, and I feel like all that weight loss was for nothing. And I come home, and I'll feel like I'm still too big and need to lose more weight, and the cycle repeats.

If anyone else has gone on a fitness/gym journey of some sort, I'm just wondering if it's just me who's felt this, because sometimes I feel mentally I was better off never going to the gym. Do you think it can cause body dysmorphia or make it worse, and is it worth it?

I can’t seem to focus on my face as a whole or really understand it and it just makes it impossible for me to grasp what I look like. Is there a good way that you use to actually “see yourself”? I hate it, im afraid to post pictures of myself just incase they are ugly and I can’t tell, I know realistically maybe they aren’t since I get compliments and men flirting with me, but I still feel like it’s hideous and notice every asymmetry in my makeup or face and it drives me insane.

Here you can find listed below general information on BDD and related foundations, the clinical classification and symptoms of BDD, advice for friends and family, as well as self-help and support groups, both in-person and online.

General information

The BDD Foundation

OCD UK

International OCD Foundation

Mind.org

Clinical classification

ICD & DSM Criterias

For friends and family

The BDD Foundation, Supporting a close one with BDD

Mind.org, How can friends and family help

Self-help

Body dysmorphia workbook by the CCI

Building self-compassion workbook by the CCI

Support groups

Online support and therapy groups

Support groups in the UK

I'm not too sure if this is allowed so please remove it if not :)

For a year between the ages of 13 and 14, I had really severe anorexia, so much so that I had a bmi of 10 at my worst and weighed 60lbs at 5'2. My doctor entirely failed to refer me to the eating disorder clinic, so I was this weight for like 5 months straight, and slightly better in the months between the start of my ed and recovery.

It's obviously been years since, but I feel my body hasn't really changed all that much since my recovery, even though I'm much healthier now. I have a ridiculously flat chest, and no curves or thighs, and if I ever gain weight it just goes to my stomach.

If somebody else has been in a similar situation, can you tell me whether you eventually developed any shape at all, or if I ruined my chance at actually looking like my age. Thank you!!

Going to therapy or getting professional help is not always an option, getting help may also take some time. To help you to better understand and address BDD by yourself, we have compiled a workbook that you can do by yourself. It contains information and tasks which will help shine a light to why BDD is the way it is and how you can deal with the symptoms. All chapters are based on an official workbook by the Centre for Clinical Intervention.

The BDD workbook:

• 01 What is body image?
• 02 Could I have body dysmorphic disorder?
• 03 Negative impacts of BDD
• 04 What are the causes of BDD?
• 05 Appearance assumptions
• 06 Triggers
• 07 Appearance preoccupation
• 08 Attention training [a coping tactic]
• 09 Checking and approval seeking
• 10 Reducing unhelpful checking and approval seeking [a coping tactic]
• 11 Negative predictions
• 12 Avoidance and safety behaviour
• 13 Reducing negative predictions [a coping tactic]
• 14 A new way of operating
• 15 Dealing with set-backs
• 16 Maintaining gained progress

Is it also dysmorphia if it's also a functional problem that your body has ? I have retrognathia which means I have a recessed chin from lack of facial development and it's affected my face. I'm highly aware of it but also know it's not abnormal to feel ashamed by it.

What I'm about to say is super weird, but I wanted to ask if anyone here can relate to it.

So I have BDD. I am deeply, deeply insecure about my appearance. It strongly affects my mood. And I go anywhere from thinking I'm an ugly troll to quite good-looking, sometimes within the same day.

I have heard a lot of people here say that for them compliments either do nothing or make them feel worse. But for me it's different.

For me a spontaneous compliment about what I look like will initially make me feel better, then I'll start doubting it. But more to the point of this post, I'll be scared to lose it.

Like if I get someone saying something very positive about my appearance, particularly women I don't know, I'll be super afraid of "losing it."

It's weird and it makes no sense. The thing already happened. They already said it. But I'm scared of "losing it" somehow. That somehow it'll suddenly not be true anymore. Or that they'll reveal it was a joke. Or that I'll find out that it was a lie or a manipulation or they felt bad for me or something. Or maybe it'll just be lighting or the picture and they'll change their mind suddenly next time they see me/first time they see me IRL.

Like even talking about it makes me nervous. I'm nervous about even writing down any specific compliments anyone gave me because I'm scared that somehow that means I'm being arrogant or taking it for granted and that somehow because of karma it'll suddenly no longer be true or turn out not to be true.

It's ridiculous. It makes no sense, that part anyway. It's like how some sports fans wear specific types of socks when their team is playing because otherwise they fear they'll lose. It's a superstition. But I really fear it deeply and feel like I'd do anything to avoid it.

I know this is super bizarre. But that's why I was wondering, does anyone feel this exact kind of thing? Not just insecurity or whatever, but literally like when you get positive feedback you feel constantly terrified that you'll lose it or that you'll do something to screw it up, even when it makes no sense?

Because I've never heard anyone talk about that. So I'm wondering if it just doesn't get talked about, or whether my BDD is just weird.

Hi there, the past year I have developed somewhat of a fixation on my skin.

I have an unknown rash on my back and chest, which doctors cannot identify very well.

I have scars on one of my thighs which has caused a texture difference compared to the other, which I have been focusing on a lot.

I also used to pick my face with a comedone extractor (loop tool thing) and I find myself doing daily inspections of my face to find any lasting damage.

I have convinced myself I have hidden lines and scars under my skin on my face, which I know is a bit odd.

I have seeked therapy but not heard back yet after my assessment.

I just want to know, does anyone else focus on their skin the most, and also if you have any product recommendations or even mental practices.

Thanks!

i’ve struggled with body dysmorphia for so long that it’s honestly taken over every part of my life. i have such a terrible relationship with myself, and i don’t know if i’ll ever truly accept the way i look. no matter what i do, my brain always finds something to hate about me.

it affects everything. i overthink how i look constantly, avoid putting myself out there, and convince myself i’m not good enough before anyone else even gets the chance to decide. i genuinely think my insecurities are one of the biggest reasons i can’t get into relationships because i can’t imagine someone seeing me the way i wish i could see myself. body dysmorphia has stolen so much from me, and i’m so exhausted from letting it control my life.

*edit: een verknoeide cosmetische ingreep liet me beseffen dat ik al jaren met BDD rondloop*

Ik wilde gewoon mijn verhaal hier delen. Ik heb een paar vergelijkbare verhalen gelezen (meer van die waarschuwingen) zoals die van mij, en die hebben me echt geholpen om me niet zo alleen te voelen of me niet zo beschaamd te voelen. Daarom ben ik hier om hetzelfde te doen.

Ik ben 22V, ik heb mijn eigen appartement, een bedrijf en ik heb een bachelor’s degree. Ik heb een narcistische moeder, met wie ik al 2 jaar geen contact heb (waarschijnlijk de kernreden voor al mijn mentale problemen).

Toen ik een kind was, rond mijn elfde, weet ik nog dat ik affirmaties over mijn uiterlijk hoorde (kleine neus, kleine taille, afvallen, een egale huid, enz.) terwijl ik opgroeide. En toen begon ik me obsessief bezig te houden met mijn gewicht. Daardoor ben ik telkens weer diezelfde 20 kilo kwijtgeraakt en weer aangekomen. Het was voor mij een manier om om te gaan toen ik met mijn moeder te maken had.

Toen ik 18 werd, worstelde ik nog steeds met mijn beeld van mijn lichaam, maar het was niet meer constant. Subconscious begon ik mijn lichaam met rust te laten en toen ik dacht dat ik ervan genezen was, kwam het weer op in mijn gezicht. Ik ben altijd impulsief geweest (waarschijnlijk ADHD, waar mijn zussen mee zijn gediagnosticeerd), maar ik denk niet dat het alleen maar impulsiviteit is. Ik denk dat ik mentaal ziek ben.

Ik begon met cosmetische ingrepen toen ik 18 was: 2,3 ml lipfillers in een jaar tijd, kin filler, botox brow lift, neus filler, hip dip filler, ik vergeet vast iets. Verdrietig genoeg heb ik altijd al een neuscorrectie willen hebben sinds ik ongeveer 12 was. Dus ik heb er één laten doen in Turkije toen ik 21 was. Ik heb wel jaren onderzoek gedaan naar de ingreep, maar ik was super impulsief richting de arts. Ik heb hier gelezen dat dat een teken is van BDD. Gelukkig is het uiteindelijk oké gegaan, maar ik kreeg 2 dagen na de ingreep ineens uit het niets een paniekaanval en ik heb mijn lichaam niet geluisterd. Ik betrap mezelf erop dat ik deze nieuwe neus uit elkaar probeer te halen, terwijl ik eigenlijk zó blij ben—ik haatte mijn oude neus—maar ik zie nog steeds asymmetrieën in deze. Ik zat na te denken over een correctie.

Na mijn neusoperatie kreeg ik ook een nek/dubbele kin lipo in mijn eigen land. Ik was er heel blij mee, maar weer was ik erg impulsief met het boeken van de ingreep en met die arts. Gelukkig was dit mijn ‘beste’ ingreep tot nu toe.

Ik begon me te zwaar te voelen en mijn lippen werden “opgelost”. Ik was zo blij en begon het ‘natuurlijke’ lookje bij mezelf echt mooi te vinden.

Daarna dacht ik dat mijn lijst bijna klaar was. Ik wilde alleen nog mijn konijntandjes fixen en misschien wat borsten. Vier dagen geleden is bij mij in mijn eigen land iets verknoeid door een tandarts. Ze hebben mijn 4 gezonde voortanden afgeschaafd en er lelijke, witte, nepkronen op gelijmd. Ik ben wakker geworden.

Het moment dat ik mijn eigen acties en manier van denken niet meer kon herkennen, was het moment waarop ik wist: ik moet hulp zoeken. Ik wou zelfs mijn tanden niet laten afslijpen—ik hield van mijn konijntandjes. En ik negeerde alle rode vlaggen en toch ging ik ermee door. WAAROM? Dat is wat ik wil uitzoeken in therapie.

Ik dacht altijd dat ik mijn eigen therapeut was. Ik heb op mijn leeftijd heel veel meegemaakt en ik zorgde er altijd voor dat ik mezelf een beter leven gaf. Maar nu denk ik eindelijk dat dit iets is dat ik niet zelf kan oplossen. Ik had mijn tanden kapot nodig om te zien dat ik al minstens een decennium stiekem, misschien ook wel onbewust, met dit gedoe zit. Ik wil geen nieuwe procedures meer. Ik zoek een specialist om te proberen iets terug te brengen dat lijkt op mijn oude tanden, en ik ga binnenkort ook hulp krijgen van een therapeut. Ik ben nog nooit zo somber geweest in mijn leven, en het schrikt me zelfs dat ik nu zo depressief kan zijn over mijn uiterlijk—alleen maar door mijn tanden, terwijl ik het merendeel van de tijd echt leuk vind wat ik in de spiegel zie.

Ik ben altijd een vrouw geweest die er boven gemiddeld goed uitzag, en ik voelde echt dat alle ingrepen me tot nu toe beter lieten lijken. Het heeft me wakker geschud en ik had zo’n enorme klap nodig om te beseffen dat ik moet leren om van binnenuit gelukkig te zijn. Dus zie dit als een waarschuwing voordat jij dezelfde fouten maakt als ik. Laat je eerst diagnosticeren en zorg dat je je plastisch chirurg daarvan op de hoogte stelt. Er is me ontelbare keren gezegd: ‘je hebt het niet nodig’—DIT IS WAAR. Het is die ziekte die dacht dat ik het nodig had.

I just discovered this sub and wow, I think just literally discovered I have BDD through reddit.

I'm been in denial about it a long while. I think my BDD started when I started college and it's only been nosediving into psychosis ever since.

I mean like, I can't go outside. I can't look at women. I can't hear about women. I just can't be around women for too long.

One big trigger is other women's boobs, of course.

All the girls around me wear tiny baby tees that vacuum seal over their breasts and I'd feel physical pain whenever I happen to catch a glimpse. I just don't understand why they have to wear such things and display their cleavage for everyone to see, and then the BDD would spiral into worse, sicker thoughts.

I genuinely feel *sick*. Like nauseous. Everytime I happen to see women with big boobs, or pretty faces, or slender legs, on social media or in real life (and holy shit there are a lot of them irl).

I have a boyfriend and even though he tells me I'm pretty and he doesn't want anyone else, I just don't believe him, and we have a lot of conflict surrounding this. It's pathological. I can feel it straining our relationship.

Hell, my mental state is so fragile, one pimple can send me into hour-long spirals and anxiety attacks, such as this one (I'm writing this at 1AM where I am).

So yeah, this condition brings a lot of suffering. But I'd like to get advice on the most pressing thing first: How do you go outside? Because I'd really like to go outside without leering at women like a sleazy creepy bitter old guy pls

I am finally come to realisation of the fact that I do have a real issue with myself and my relationship with my body/face. It has ruled over my life for a number of years now basically since I became conscious of the way I looked at about 10/11 years old. Although not diagnosed I am quite certain I am extremely certain I have it judging by the fact it consumes my brain for an extremely large majority of every single day of my life ( not even sure if you can look for treatment without diagnosis ) and things I do. I have a very love hate relationship with myself but mostly hate, sometimes I think I'd never want to be okay with the way I look because I want to improve and still see the flaws so I know what needs to be fixed but then sometimes I think it's so exhausting living like this. I see mixed opinions on whether it can actually be fixed or not but sometimes I think the only thing that will solve that is massively changing the way I look. I just want to be able to be laid back and not constantly have my thoughts racing about the way I look but I also want to perfect.

i constantly fantasize about getting work done, i’m too young and broke for it but i dream about someday getting all these procedures. (some of them are so uncommon that i can’t find review videos or photos on them.)

but when i look at myself sometimes i’m like “this isn’t TOO bad” which makes me doubt my BDD too, maybe it’s just regular old insecurities but then other times i want to die looking in the mirror. then i imagine how i would feel if a surgery went wrong, or not even that but it went slightly not how i expected, i would be completely inconsolable. it’s like a lose-lose situation

anyone else more afraid of being botched than looking how they do?

I m an 22F Asian girl, and always been feeling bad about my H shaped petite body. Guys and even girls on Chinese social media kept saying how women of other races are naturally much curvier and hotter that even the curviest Asian is just average for other races.

Everytime I see that, I try to argue but I also feel they are actually true. And I know most of people prefer thicker and curvier body these days, which makes me feel inferior about my race and wish I could be other races so that I could have better body. I know it’s wrong to think like that but I just couldn’t stop thinking that it’s miserable being an Asian brick.

Here you can find listed below general information on BDD and related foundations, the clinical classification and symptoms of BDD, advice for friends and family, as well as self-help and support groups, both in-person and online.

General information

The BDD Foundation

OCD UK

International OCD Foundation

Mind.org

Clinical classification

ICD & DSM Criterias

For friends and family

The BDD Foundation, Supporting a close one with BDD

Mind.org, How can friends and family help

Self-help

Body dysmorphia workbook by the CCI

Building self-compassion workbook by the CCI

Support groups

Online support and therapy groups

Support groups in the UK