To preface im not saying video games is bad. Please friends, im not judging your interest, theres so much good in this wonderful form of media. I just need to let it go for my current circumstances.

The only major con for my AuDHD is that video games is just way way too good in pleasing both the ADHD and my Autism. Like it can consume my days because it has the following qualities

- its stimulating enough for adhd

- its requires new sets of skills to learn which is good for adhd

- there can always be novelty by moving from game to game, good for adhd

- if the game gets boring midway, the Autism in me will force me to finish it

- the PC is in my room, a safe and familiar environment, good for Autism

- theres a level of certainty to video games unlike social interactions which pleases my Autism

- barrier to play is so low compared to other fun things like social events which pleases my ADHD because less effort (or transitions) means more playtime.

- it can be routine to schedule my time around it, which pleases my autism

- being organized, objective based and having clear instructions are a staple for most games which pleases my Autism (but I hate games where the "fun" is go do your own thing, basically I need external motivation, I need that visible Check mark)

- its too easy to be "happy and content" while the whole world moves around you.

- my social skills deteriorate as I hyperfixate on a current game which is bad for my Autism

- Its possible to enjoy this hobby completely alone, like single player games and solo grinding competitive games which pleases the need to improve in my ADHD, and the solo aspect pleases my Autism because I can do things in my own pace.

I need to let it go, like sweetly let it drift off into the horizon.

I dont even know if its an addiction, but theres just something about all these traits that creates a bad sense of contentment for me.

I'm going through a bit of a slump and my special interests (KPop and BL) aren't quite hitting right now as much as usual. I'm struggling to find a rabbit hole to fall down so please tell me about your special interests and maybe one of them will spark a new hyperfixation for me!

Bonus points for any youtube videos or podcasts that I can listen to at work to occupy some of my brain time!

Not sure if this is the best tag for this experience but I'm feeling overwhelming dread about my newest manager at work. All my friends have left for other jobs so I'm having to navigate socializing by myself for the first time in years in a highly demanding and stressful job. I do want to leave but I have my own reasons for staying put right now.

My newest manager already has it out for me and I can tell she's one of those people that just hates neurodivergence. The few coworkers I have left that I regularly interact with think I'm overreacting but this manager has already reported me to the other manager, our general manager, and the area manager for no reason! (And they've all reacted to this with confusion because it was literally over nothing) She's used the r-word several times at work and is demanding we do things her way when she doesn't even understand the job yet and I have no idea how I'm going to manage to navigate this all alone while I wait for everyone else to catch on to the fact that this woman is bad news.

This has happened to me so many times before where I say someone is going to be a problem and I'm just gaslight into forgiving them until they do something heinous enough that everyone else turns on them and I'm so tired!!! I see it from a mile away yet everyone else acts shocked when they finally catch on. I try to keep my head down but I'm not sure my nervous system can handle another round of this.

The results of my testing were as follows:

Autism

ADHD (inattentive type, though I think it’s more likely combined)

Anxiety (severe)

Depression (moderate with a tendency to become severe)

Severe anger issues

Some symptoms of PTSD, though not to the extent that it would warrant a diagnosis.

The PTSD statement was the only surprising part. I remember talking to one of my friends a few weeks later and telling her that I thought it might be worth it to look for a second opinion and see if I actually did have PTSD.

I haven’t experienced the things that I assume would come to mind when someone mentions PTSD (e.g. war, abuse, a traumatic event like a car accident, etc.), but I’m starting to realize there’s a significant amount of trauma that built up from going undiagnosed for as long as I did.

At the time of my testing (December 2024), I didn’t think much of it. But now, I think getting tested for PTSD could be helpful. My tentative plan is to reach out to the psychologist who initially tested me and ask if he could recommend someone for me to go to.

In me trying to evaluate myself for literal thinking, I did something hilarious. I often see people describe examples of literal thinking, but dismiss literal thinking as a behavior I exhibit— because I don’t struggle with any of the specific examples people provide.

For example, someone autistic might say, “I interpreted the expression, black and white thinking, as not being able to imagine color in my mind.”

I realized the reason I dismissed the possibility of me struggling with literal thinking, was because I couldn’t relate to the provided examples, so I took it literally that because I don’t struggle with these specific examples, I must not struggle with literal thinking.

I only reconsidered that I might struggle with literal thinking when I was reminded of the time when I was a young kid, and a teacher used the expression, “put a bubble in your mouth” to keep us silent while we walked from our classroom to somewhere else. I had never heard this expression before so I genuinely thought my teacher wanted me to blow a spit bubble in my mouth and hold it until we got to our destination. I was certainly the ONLY child who interpreted this literally.

I am also hypothesizing that I don’t relate to a lot of the examples of literal thinking that people use, is because I have VERY strong pattern recognition. I am good at telling when a phrase seems like it would be an expression, as to not interpret it literally. I think maybe because I struggled with it so much as a child.

Any one else experience literal thinking about literal thinking?

Doesn't matter how hard I work, or the quality of said work, someone always finds some reason to complain about me. I'm always under the microscope. It's always just a countdown to getting fired even if I'm the most productive person on the team. Nothing I do will ever make me good enough. Being the best at actual work doesn't matter if you can't keep a perfect mask at all times. Autistic people built the tech industry, now we have no place in it. Nineteen years in this shithole industry and I want out but it's impossible to simultaneously have time, energy, and money to retrain; if I'm working I have money but no time and energy, and if I'm not working I don't have money. I'm fucking trapped and I hate every minute of it.

I've been wrestling with this thought for awhile and just wanted to see if I'm alone in this

Everyday device I own tracks body-related statistics, but none of them track the thing that makes me have these meltdowns. Something that gets really bad for me before I even realize it is occuring. And when I do notice it, it's usually too late, because I've already snapped at someone or have tucked myself away for ten minutes to calm down.

I wish there was something that would alert me to that beforehand and make me aware that something was building up inside of me before it gets to that point.

Is there anyone else who feels this way? Do you have something you use now that helps with this?

I see characters all the time in contemporary tv/movies/books (e.g. Stranger Things, Sherlock, Freaks & Geeks) that are supposed to be quirky & odd but seem to have classically defined ADHD or autistic traits.

I’m trying to find examples from earlier literature, plays, etc.

What are your favorites? What characters do you “see yourself in,” think “relatable” & why?

Hello, I just want to rant because I’m tired. I don’t understand why it takes me so long to study a chapter of anything new. I’m learning video editing and it took me a week to watch a 15 minute tutorial and I STILL struggle to remember the steps. Like it doesn’t matter what I do, because the second the task become a little complicated my brain tries avoiding it.

Like I love to take videos and wanna learn advanced editing, I feel euphoric wherever I watch cool edits from others but for some reason my brain avoids even that.

In my late 20s and I’m still stuck at the same situation because every time to wanna apply new knowledge I fail miserably and then spend years pondering why.

Now my depressed brain convinced me that I’m slow compared to others but I know it’s due to burn out and high expectations from myself but whyyy would my brain avoid things that I like toooo

My 16 y/o daughter is AuDHD and easily overwhelmed by sensory input - loud noises, crowded places, certain fabrics, the usual.

She manages well and we are always learning new ways to achieve her goals in ways that work for her - she's unmasked after a breakdown/lengthy collapse a few years ago, and is amazing at identifying the parts of life that are overwhelming or impossible for her to do the "normal" way, zeroing in on what's specifically stopping her, and figuring out how to do things different and creative ways that don't trigger those reactions. The goal is never to brute force things that trigger her like that - because she'll only be able to keep that up for so long; when she can't keep it up through sheer will, which is inevitable, she will have zero useful skills to maintain the habit or reach the goal at all.

This means we go slow, we don't punish her if she can't do something, and we spend lots of time learning and experimenting with alternative ways to do everything - from high school to showering, with everything. She went from a high-masking, anxiety riddled, dissociating 13 year old to total life collapse overnight, and then spent the last 3 years becoming the person I wish I had become before collapsing myself much later in life.

So we've gotten through stuff like high school, crowded places, self advocacy, and friendships...but we haven't cracked the laundry. We need to get her to the point of self sufficiency with skills like this before she can go off to college or live independently....and given the lack of progress on this, I anticipate it will take some experimentation and time to figure out.

Laundry is the pits for a million reasons - I have ADHD and live out of laundry baskets, it never ends, and the washer and dryer are out of sight in the basement. Lots of things to figure out here, but we are stuck on one simple step: taking the damp and usually cold clothes out of the washing machine and putting them in the dryer sends her anxiety through the roof. Unlike so many other areas where she's been able to recover her ability to "just deal" via therapy, accomodations, alternatives....this is a severe and intense reaction and seems kind of isolated as a trigger; she does dishes now, she covers her skin when dealing with other sensory nightmares, she goes the slow or more involved way if it makes other chores possible, etc.

She doesn't have issues with water in general, the laundry smells fine, and gloves don't help - it's almost an aversion so intense that it's become independent of the actual sensation. She'd react the same way if she had a full hazmat suit on at this point, just because she'd be thinking about the sensation of the damp clothes touching her skin.

We are too poor to buy an all-in-one machine and that's honestly not something she can rely on being available at college, either. We don't have money to pay for laundry services, either. Hopefully those are financially viable solutions for her someday if she needs them - but the goal is figuring this reaction out and working to achieve the goal herself in a way she can continue in college and beyond. And after 25 years of doing my kids' laundry, I'm not the solution anymore either lol.

This is such a big trigger that I'm not even sure she understands the exact issue or why she's able to, for instance, grab her wet swimsuit to hang up (or wear her wet swimsuit out of the water, etc) without the same reaction. She doesn't have issues with wet towels she's used to clean up gross spills, or with dish towels used to wipe up the sink area, etc. We've been rained out while camping and managed fine with an entirely wet wardrobe and sleeping bags. Other wet fabrics are ok - but pulling the clean, damp laundry into a basket, moving the basket a few feet on the floor, and putting the same clothing into the dryer is...impossible. I'm working with nothing helpful here.

We have had smashing success employing really creative and weird strategies with other sensory challenges - showering was impossible due to the sheer number and variety of sensory issues, but victory over the whole process seemed to hinge on finding the solution to the biggest, most severe trigger: the feeling of regular terry cloth towels on wet skin (which seems potentially to be in the same universe as wet laundry, maybe). We tried everything - drip drying, every kind of pattern/weave of towel, paper towels, lol.....I finally bought these funny-looking towels designed to dry furry dogs after baths from Temu on a 50 cent whim, and a year of battles and lying and tears was over, just like that. Every other sensory issue was easy to solve once we figured out the big one causing the most anxiety - literally, dog towels were life changing for her (and me).

I think the laundry will be similar - solve the issue of transferring wet clothes to the dryer, and the rest of the ADHD-related issues will be easy to tackle without the anxiety this step causes. With showering, the sensory issues virtually disappeared over time, too - we no longer use dog towels. She uses regular towels without issue (her choice)....but can't touch the same damp towels to transfer them to the dryer.

Anyone else? I'd appreciate any and all ideas about what aspect of this makes it so triggering, what alternative strategies we could try, what didn't work - any ideas or feedback could help.

Among the many pervasive disabilities due to this neurodivergence, maybe the worst for me is that my prefrontal cortex (PFC) is off *most* of my waking life. I won’t go too deep in the neuroscience, but the two most significant factors for activating the PFC are having dopamine (DA) and norepinephrine (NE) levels in the PFC within an optimal middle range (roughly centered around the neurotypical average); so as an AuDHD person with extremely low baseline dopamine and extremely high baseline norepinephrine, you are squarely fucked lol.

Instead of sleep inertia lasting maybe an hour or so like for most people, mine goes on for *5+ hours* every morning, sometimes the whole day! I’m used to spending most of my life tumbling about in this chaotic, overwhelmed state without access to the machinery in the brain necessary for essential life functioning. Fleeting dopamine from something interesting sends me into hyperfocus, but then I hyperfocus too hard and send myself further into overload. I try to calm down and keep my comprehensively systematized routine, but then my PFC is offline again and I don’t have the capacity to maintain it. There’s no winning, but at least I have a pretty good idea why now. And trying guanfacine soon! 🤞

Wondering if anyone else relates to this problem. I didn’t realize how not normal this was until recently.

Dave Mustaine (9-13-1961~present) is an American musician who is the co-founder and lead guitarist and vocalist for Megadeth, and was Metallica's original lead guitarist until his firing in 1983 for unruly behaviour. He has released 17 albums, five of them went platinum. He is married and has two children, of which his daughter Electra is also a musician. He fought off cancer in early 2020.

Do other autisics scare you or is it just like "hey whats up man" im only asking because i watched a youtuber with autism stim in a weird way and i was like ooo that kinda hurt my social battery [btw im not being inconsiderate of others autisic stims im just saying ive noticed this about myself, what is your thoughts and opinions?]

Side question: do u joke about your own autism , i do i use terms i probly wouldnt say to someone eles but im alowed to do that to myself i think its kinda stupid that other people say i cant joke about myself like people get offended on my behalf im like "im fine, you dont even have what i have why does it hurt ur feelings" [MIND U IM TALKING TO NORMIES] normies get offended that i call my self something even tho i say it as a joke FOR ME like no one eles

i have insomnia,autism,adhd, and ocd its a nightmare and my room is a giant mess and i cant start it because i get overwhelmed and don't feel like cleaning it but will steam clean the kitchen floor 83 times in the same day somehow because i hyper-fixate on one thing and i forget to drink water all day then wonder why i have a headache i literately cant sit still for like 5 minutes and im on the highest dose of adderal i can take im a literal ball of chaos

Help-Masking Burnout

I recently started a new job. Psychologist at a special Ed rehab. Kids are not draining. I know how to act and what to say because I know my role but with coworkers I panic so bad but i also know i have to socialize. I want to but my anxiety, doubts and fear of revealing myself is too strong. I constantly have to think before I say anything and I'm so tired. I don't even wanna get up from bed at morning. I don't get into work until it's close to opening.

And please don't say, 'be who you are'. There were many occasions I let myself be myself and people made fun of me.

I'm exhausted and burning out. Please help.

veamos. eh, Joven de 18 años. Mi diagnostico fue hace 3 meses y logré verbalizar esto.

No puedo sentir algo fuera de alegría, frustración y coraje. Puedo llorar antes de volver a estar neutral a los 2 minutos. Me enojo un monto, pero no puedo seguir enojado luego, me parece absurdo, como si fuera algo de niños o incluso lo olvido. Olvido mi ansiedad, olvido mi cansancio, olvido mi pesar hasta que lo recuerdo porque nunca se va, está ahí aun Y cuando vuelve, lo recuerdo.

Incluso olvido mis ganas de desaparecer mientras mi cuerpo tiene afecciones cutáneas, mi intestino responde mal y mi cabeza tiene migrañas, pero las olvido hasta que recuerdo que están ahí. Incluso aveces me permito amar, me permito llorar aunque no salga nada. Lo único que recuerdo es nada, todo aparece de la nada y entonces recuerdo que se esto cuando no se nada. Olvide de donde salieron estas palabras y aun asi estoy escribiendo.

Y olvide mi vació hasta que lo recordé y me hizo sentir parte de el.

No paso nada terrible, solo un día sin darme cuenta. Me canse, me canse de buscarle el sentido a esto, me canse de buscarme a mi mismo, preguntarme si en algún momento pude llorar de verdad. Me canse de extrañar mi inocencia antes de crecer repentinamente y saber de todo esto.

So everyone in my family is professionally diagnosed with ADHD; this includes me, my husband, and our eight year old son. Due to finances, we don’t have insurance so we stretch ourselves a bit thin and the only two people with access to medication are my husband because he will get fired if he doesn’t take it, and my son who is unable to do school without it. Public school did not work out for him so I homeschool him so I can cater to his needs better. I am not medicated at all anymore and the best I can do is drinking an Alani every morning and hoping for the best. I am failing at it lol.

Neither my husband nor my son will do a single chore without me having to ask several times over a period of several days and my son will not do any personal hygiene tasks even down to taking a leak without me telling him to several times. The executive dysfunction is very high. I NEED to find ANY way to get the kid to do literally ANYTHING on his own. We have had him in OT for this for the past two years before we lost our insurance recently and it was not helpful at all. Chores also includes getting schoolwork done in the school year months.

Things we have already tried:

A chore chart with stickers

a check list

Breaking things into steps (I.e. instead of Clean Your Room, it was Pick up clothes, pick up legos, pick up books, etc)

a physical reward system

a screen time reward system

a token currency system

a reward/punishment system

a timer where we cleaned for 30 minutes, rested for an hour

a timer where we cleaned in 10 minute increments

a timer where we only had to clean 20 things when it went off

having to do all chores before any playtime was allowed

Literally not a single one of those things yielded any results and every single day whenever it’s time to do anything that doesnt give him dopamine he will SCREAM and it becomes a fight and I’m just. So. Tired. Please help. Idk what to do. It’s also annoying because both of them still have access to medication and can’t get anything at all done while I can no longer access medication and still have to do everything and it hurts my head and is so hard to do but if I don’t do it it will not get done. They have what they need so surely they will have an easier time doing this, right?? I just don’t know what to do and I feel like I’m drowning.

I'm applying for medicine as a mature student this September. So sitting the UCAT next month.

Just wanted to know if there's anyone else studying medicine or is already a doctor?

Keen to know about your experiences from a neurodivergent perspective.

I know for example that there's a lot of content to learn, how do you cope with a slower processing speed?

Any other tips/advice?

... And I am completely paralyzed.

Obviously they don't need to know how many socks I have, but organizing and discriminating the things that go on the list or don't and where to start making it have me just unable to do any of it. I'm tempted to ask an AI chatbot for help but, well, I have pretty negative feelings about AI.

I finished something today that I poured everything into, and now I'm hollow, and I hate this part.

I always felt finishing was what emptied me, like a cup that fills up while I work and then spills out all at once at the end. But I don't think that's it anymore. It's more like a theater after the audience leaves, when the lights go down, the noise disappears, and the room goes still.

The room feels unfinished, not empty... I'm the only one still standing in it, but I want to keep performing because performing makes me feel complete (not masking, just the thing I'm amazing at).

I've learned the hard way not to force another show onto the stage just because I miss performing. That burns me out every time, and whatever I force up there is garbage anyway. So I let the room stay empty until something worth performing shows up on its own.

It usually takes a day or three, and it always comes back. I just hate the wait.

Anyone else run like this?

One note: this isn't masking. There's no audience I'm managing, no performance for anyone else's benefit. This is about wanting to keep doing the thing I'm amazing at, not about hiding what's underneath it.

so I've been eating a lot of the great value winter mints this year and it's my favorite thing to have now, it helps me when i feel like i need to be doing something especially when I'm gaming ect, plus i love they way they smell and taste, and i feel like its a good stimulation, i was just wondering if anyone else has a mint fixation

I’ve heard being always tired is a common symptom of AUDHD and I’m curious if anyone has gotten a good system down to combat it. It feels like no matter what vitamins i take or how much caffeine i drink, I’m just a second away from falling asleep. Today i brought my laptop outside to try to get some work done and get some sun bc I stay inside too much and ended up falling asleep for two hours out there.

Hi, (F19) the title sums up my feelings but this has been going on for months now. I've been trying to be productive but I'm not, it's so frustrating to constantly fail at it and end up doing nothing. It feels painful if that makes sense. I made a decision to apply to a course for university, got a tutor to help me write a personal statement and I sent it off last week. If the statement is successful I will be invited to an interview. I've been trying to prepare for the interview by researching as much about the subject and trying my best to study it. The most I've done is 110 minutes in a day - that's not even good. I've constantly been feeling restless. Actually this month I've been cutting most sugars and only reached to about 10 days. I don't want to be the type of personal who just fails at their goals and these aren't even the only goals that I've failed to implement.

It's also my interests, I know this is an awful feeling but I'm so jealous of people who have special interests and end up knowing so much about them, being able to research them for hours and hours. I also have these interests (in historical topics, cultures etc) and would love to research them for hours and hours but nothing ends up sticking, for some reason it isn't consistent and it feels like I can't read sometimes, even though I love to read. I've set up so many plans for my own enjoyment and been unable to achieve them despite having the interest for at least a year. I feel like I'm just typing this on here just to feel sorry for myself, I hate that habit. I guess this is just a rant but I really want this to stop even though I don't know how.

I met someone on Bumble. She too was AuDHD (she still is, but we aren't together), and we started talking about 2 weeks ago.

Within 24 hrs, we decided to meet at an event she was planning on going to. The spark was there because I love dancing and she loves dancing. We got talking, met her the next day again and again and by day 4, she was in my house.

It was passionate, it was lots of intimacy, lots of similarities, and lots of Dopamine. It felt like I finally met someone who understands who I am.

Then, it was all over. The dopamine was gone, the red flags on both sides started showing up, the wild ride was over. And we had arguments, disagreements, and ended the "relationship" if you can even call it that.

I wish I could control my emotions better, get a good grasp on my feelings and thoughts before jumping into a relationship. These are the times when I wish I was an NT. Or maybe I am just that broken.

I'm almost 40, got the early 90s ADD diagnosis that doctors handed out like candy, and never once felt appropriately "treated". I was a space cadet kid living in my own reality, ignoring all the uncomfortable physical stuff because I didn't know how or why my body and brain is different until much later in life.

I've always been an outcast and have a slew of niche interests that aren't specific or lasting enough to be an "autistic hyperfocus", I had big visions about what I wanted to do in life and my mini-focuses got in the way.

I can never pick up in a project where I left off, not because I don't care or can't remember what I was attempting to do, my brain forgot the routine I was in at the time I was the most invested and feel like shit that I can't be like everybody else and pick up where I left off.

It's a thousand times worse when it deals with social situations, my brain is totally fine with routines and patterns, but struggling to specific scripts in front of people has gotten me in trouble more than I care to remember.

My memory is also too good for what my brain lets me execute. Want to think about a cringe thing you did in 2nd grade? Afraid that everyone else remembers it, and you built 30 years of stupid defense mechanisms to keep the anxiety and depression at bay?

Fuck this is exhausting.