My 16 y/o daughter is AuDHD and easily overwhelmed by sensory input - loud noises, crowded places, certain fabrics, the usual.
She manages well and we are always learning new ways to achieve her goals in ways that work for her - she's unmasked after a breakdown/lengthy collapse a few years ago, and is amazing at identifying the parts of life that are overwhelming or impossible for her to do the "normal" way, zeroing in on what's specifically stopping her, and figuring out how to do things different and creative ways that don't trigger those reactions. The goal is never to brute force things that trigger her like that - because she'll only be able to keep that up for so long; when she can't keep it up through sheer will, which is inevitable, she will have zero useful skills to maintain the habit or reach the goal at all.
This means we go slow, we don't punish her if she can't do something, and we spend lots of time learning and experimenting with alternative ways to do everything - from high school to showering, with everything. She went from a high-masking, anxiety riddled, dissociating 13 year old to total life collapse overnight, and then spent the last 3 years becoming the person I wish I had become before collapsing myself much later in life.
So we've gotten through stuff like high school, crowded places, self advocacy, and friendships...but we haven't cracked the laundry. We need to get her to the point of self sufficiency with skills like this before she can go off to college or live independently....and given the lack of progress on this, I anticipate it will take some experimentation and time to figure out.
Laundry is the pits for a million reasons - I have ADHD and live out of laundry baskets, it never ends, and the washer and dryer are out of sight in the basement. Lots of things to figure out here, but we are stuck on one simple step: taking the damp and usually cold clothes out of the washing machine and putting them in the dryer sends her anxiety through the roof. Unlike so many other areas where she's been able to recover her ability to "just deal" via therapy, accomodations, alternatives....this is a severe and intense reaction and seems kind of isolated as a trigger; she does dishes now, she covers her skin when dealing with other sensory nightmares, she goes the slow or more involved way if it makes other chores possible, etc.
She doesn't have issues with water in general, the laundry smells fine, and gloves don't help - it's almost an aversion so intense that it's become independent of the actual sensation. She'd react the same way if she had a full hazmat suit on at this point, just because she'd be thinking about the sensation of the damp clothes touching her skin.
We are too poor to buy an all-in-one machine and that's honestly not something she can rely on being available at college, either. We don't have money to pay for laundry services, either. Hopefully those are financially viable solutions for her someday if she needs them - but the goal is figuring this reaction out and working to achieve the goal herself in a way she can continue in college and beyond. And after 25 years of doing my kids' laundry, I'm not the solution anymore either lol.
This is such a big trigger that I'm not even sure she understands the exact issue or why she's able to, for instance, grab her wet swimsuit to hang up (or wear her wet swimsuit out of the water, etc) without the same reaction. She doesn't have issues with wet towels she's used to clean up gross spills, or with dish towels used to wipe up the sink area, etc. We've been rained out while camping and managed fine with an entirely wet wardrobe and sleeping bags. Other wet fabrics are ok - but pulling the clean, damp laundry into a basket, moving the basket a few feet on the floor, and putting the same clothing into the dryer is...impossible. I'm working with nothing helpful here.
We have had smashing success employing really creative and weird strategies with other sensory challenges - showering was impossible due to the sheer number and variety of sensory issues, but victory over the whole process seemed to hinge on finding the solution to the biggest, most severe trigger: the feeling of regular terry cloth towels on wet skin (which seems potentially to be in the same universe as wet laundry, maybe). We tried everything - drip drying, every kind of pattern/weave of towel, paper towels, lol.....I finally bought these funny-looking towels designed to dry furry dogs after baths from Temu on a 50 cent whim, and a year of battles and lying and tears was over, just like that. Every other sensory issue was easy to solve once we figured out the big one causing the most anxiety - literally, dog towels were life changing for her (and me).
I think the laundry will be similar - solve the issue of transferring wet clothes to the dryer, and the rest of the ADHD-related issues will be easy to tackle without the anxiety this step causes. With showering, the sensory issues virtually disappeared over time, too - we no longer use dog towels. She uses regular towels without issue (her choice)....but can't touch the same damp towels to transfer them to the dryer.
Anyone else? I'd appreciate any and all ideas about what aspect of this makes it so triggering, what alternative strategies we could try, what didn't work - any ideas or feedback could help.