Hi! For a bit of context, I've been on LCFWRA & Enhanced ADP for around 10 years now. I desperately want out and have taken a long-term interest in working for a company where my interest lies at the moment. My desire to work there extends beyond the interest also; I can't keep living the same day over and over.

I'm level 1 ASD, and consider myself fairly self sustaining, but I do burn out easily. I am currently focusing on my education and volunteering to adapt myself before throwing myself from comfort into the water and expecting myself to swim.

For those of you who started working in adulthood, how are you doing? What does it look like for you when and if you burn out? I know hyperfixation cannot sustain me forever and I will have periods where I will struggle, but it has to be better than my situation right now.

Thank you!

UPDATE: I quit, I already knew i wanted to I suppose I just wanted a second opinion but like helpful people said I should do what best for me and not worry what others think. Thanks for the input !!

I unexpectedly got offered an interview for a job which could be considered more prestigious than my current part time one (cleaner) and I didn’t think I’d qualify.

so I just went not thinking I’d actually not make it through and there was like 3 rounds of interviews and I got it somehow but it’s sales and the type where u have to stop ppl on the street and stuff and I suppose it’s good exposure therapy but like i actually hate the concept it and I just accepted bc I never thought id actually get the job but now I have.

I still have my other job and I work there as well but since it’s part time I won’t get as many hours so the sales one feels smart to keep ig but the salary itself is still not the best obv it’s mainly commission I just feel like I should stay bc idk

It’s only for the summer too bc then I’m back at uni

Hi, folks. I am looking for food-grade silicone/non-toxic chewables that look good enough to eat. If I could chew on the resin/gel cabochons used in making fun jewelery and decorations, I would. My brain takes no interest in the plain looking options for adults and the child-safe options that actually look like fun things are minimal and not interesting to me. I found a cute donut on amazon necklace pendant on amazon, but everything else even remotely close to that are baby toys and dog toys. So I wondered if anyone had any sites they could recommend ? I found myself nibbling off the cutesy pink elements on my gel nails last night and so I thought I need something safer. Thank you.

Hi 👋

Wondering if anyone has had their child assessed at Caudwell Children?

My child was assessed today, we had to stay an extra session where most others got to leave so I am trying to get some insight to why this was. For anyone who has been through this process.

I am likely over thinking everything (also autistic myself)

Thanks

I have an ear infection and am currently applying drops twice a day to both ears. It’s made me deaf for a week which has been a mixed bag, I hate it as it’s unnerving but also I am so relaxed from not being overstimulated due to noise (and I’m sleeping better than I ever have in my life!). It’s making me want to get some really good ear defenders for when I have my hearing back. I’ve been surprised by the lack of choice for adults, and places like B&Q that have loads of options for work ones do not have any reviews. Can anyone recommend some? Ideally I’d like 30db cancellation or higher. Thank you.

hi! has anyone recently been assessed by Medinet Minds, formerly HealthHarmonie Minds?

i had part B of my assessment yesterday morning and i’m wondering if anyone knows roughly how long i’ll be waiting for a diagnosis? i know it’s different for everyone but i’m not very good at waiting so if i have a rough idea this will be really helpful! thanks in advance :)

Hi all. Im due a meeting today with CYPS a parent/carer only group. What am I to expect? Ive yet to find the place first as im unfamiliar with the area. What do they need from me? There's no mention of needing to bring any paper work or proof of anything. Also is it still just as long wait afterwards? We've been waiting 4/5yrs so im certainly not missing this.

Looking for a private assessment in the uk. Which company's are worth looking at or stay well clear of.

Also company's that do join Autism and adhd.

Also how long will the wait be.

Also do you need someone to give a childhood statement as all my family have died and no close friends

Thanks for you help.

For context: I cook and am able to do it without causing sensory stress.

When my partner cooks, they appear incapable of not incinerating everything. The hob is always dialled up to 11 and the air is filled with smoke from burning oil.

It clings to your clothes, penetrates your skin and attaches itself to furnishings.

They know I am autistic, they know this is sensory hell.

I have pleaded with them over and over to take a gentler approach to their culinary endeavours.

I am often shouted down and routinely ignored.

It stresses me out and makes me sad.

I have to change and shower after they cook for me - which should be a treat. I don't enjoy it at all.

I am at my wits end with their disregard.

Further the kitchen is always a bomb site after and left for me to deal with.

Sorry, it just does me in.

Hello! I (35f) had my autism assessment today and received a diagnosis. I thought I would come here and share my timeline as that's one thing that I wished for when I was in the waiting stages!

15 September 2025 - Telephone GP appointment, GP agreed to referral via Right to Choose (I asked about RTC specifically).

19 September 2025 - Sent completed ProblemShared documents to GP via email. Referral was completed the same day and I received a welcome email from ProblemShared that afternoon asking me to create my account.

26 September 2025 - All pre-assessment forms completed and uploaded on ProblemShared dashboard. Informed that I am officially on the waitlist, with an expected wait time of 25-39 weeks. Emailed ProblemShared with additional informant form.

1 October 2025 - Reply from ProblemShared confirming the additional informant questionnaire was added to my file.

16 April 2026 - 29 weeks on the waitlist. Received email from ProblemShared requesting that I complete an additional supplementary pre-assessment form.

17 April 2026 - Additional form completed.

8 May 2026 - 32 weeks on the waitlist. Contacted via email requesting availability of myself and my informant, replied same day.

16 June 2026 - 37 weeks on the waitlist. Received email confirming assessment date of 21st July.

21 July 2026 - 42 weeks. Assessment lasted 90 minutes. 2nd 30 minute appointment later in the day, confirming autism diagnosis!

Overall, the wait felt incredibly long, especially once I hit around the 25 week mark, the anticipation at that point became almost unbearable because I knew I could get an appointment date at any moment.

I had friends go through their entire process significantly quicker than I did in the time I was waiting, so I had a lot of moments when I wished I'd gone with a different provider. However I'm not sure it would have made a lot of difference as funding cuts have made it into a postcode lottery.

Anyway, overall I was very happy with the ProblemShared process, the assessor was lovely and put my anxiety at ease almost immediately. I am still waiting for my report which should arrive in 4-6 weeks.

Looking at some of the roles / vacancies I'm interested in, it feels like the diversity agenda is prioritising certain ethnicities over another (I am Anglo Indian but definitely not white passing), and there seems to scant regard for those with disabilities / conditions, whether seen or unseen.

I appreciate that there has been historic underrepresentation of certain groups, and thus it makes sense to afford them equality of opportunities they have been denied for decades, but I feel like I meet the diversity checkbox on multiple fronts, and yet I am not considered diverse enough.

And not having university education, despite people saying a degree is not required these days, is probably having some impact too.

I don't get on my soapbox IRL about this stuff, but it does feel like I am getting unfairly scrutinised, especially when both my parents are first-generation immigrants and, while we were probably borderline lower middle-class, I definitely didn't have it as good as others.

It's unfair, too, when I see people who went to better schools than me and yet didn't take advantage of the opportunities afforded to them, while I didn't have nearly as much support and yet they still act as though I should have pulled myself up by my bootstraps more.

Myself and my partner regularly look after her sister's 9 year old nephew.

He's autistic and also had ADHD and recently learnt a racist word at school.

At first he didn't know what it meant but used it due to the reaction that came with it but he now seems to be using it towards the correct demographic.

We've tried to explain what the outcomes of using this word could be but as soon as he has a meltdown it's the first word he goes to.

I'm struggling to find any helpful services online to assist with this and could do with any advice on how to combat this behaviour or any services that can assist with this.

After so much anxiety over it, I have finally decided to pursue getting an official autism diagnosis.

I’m actually feeling kind of scared and anxious about it just because of the stigma around it. Ultimately in the long run I think it will be beneficial to have an official diagnosis.

I’m trying not to think of this as a lifelong label but as a tool to help understand and navigate my life better as a means to comfort myself.

I would love to know how having an official diagnosis has impacted your life and how have you since navigated your life?

Many thanks x

Hi everyone,

I'm a 27-year-old autistic man and I'm struggling a bit with friendships at the moment. I'm hoping to hear from other autistic adults who might have been in a similar situation.

I've got a group of friends who I really do care about and enjoy spending time with. The problem is that social situations can be extremely overwhelming for me, especially when there are lots of people or when I know I'm going to be out for a long time.

I've missed the last two group outings. The most recent one was planned and I genuinely intended to go, but when the weekend came around my anxiety became so bad that I couldn't face it and ended up staying home. I felt really guilty afterwards because I know people might interpret it as me not wanting to see them or not caring about the friendship, when that's genuinely not the case.

I recently sent one of my friends a happy birthday message, but he hasn't replied. I've noticed he's been online, and now my anxiety is telling me that I've probably pushed him away or that he's annoyed with me for not turning up to the last couple of meet-ups.
I don't know whether I'm overthinking this or whether I should reach out and explain that I've been struggling with anxiety and that my absence isn't personal.

Have you ever had to miss social events because of anxiety or overwhelm and worried that your friends would eventually stop inviting you?

I'd really appreciate hearing about your experiences and what worked for you. I'm not looking for sympathy, just some honest perspectives from people who understand what it's like to want friendships but sometimes struggle with the social side of maintaining them.

Thanks🩷

I made a post here last week ranting about my job requiring me to go into the office once every month or two months, worrying I wouldn't be taken seriously if I made a fuss about it. Well today things got way worse, I now need to rant again. Not really looking for any specific kinda responses I guess, just wanna get it all out.

So to recap I've been at this for job for 2 years now and its almost exclusively been from home, i went into the office for 2 weeks for training which was hell but i did it cos i knew out the other side id have a wfh job. ive also sporadically been in for meetings and extra training but probs only 3 or 4 times in 2 years.

In past few months theyve been mentioning increasing the expectation to come into the office more which has freaked me out, as ive made very clear office days take a massive toll on me and my energy levels and my ability to work and my ability to enjoy life outside of work. Never felt like I was getting much understanding.

My manager had been going on about once every 2 months which im like i know thats not a lot but it still freaks me out. My supervisor was like once a month which its like um no. When I was trying to mention my autism my supervisor even said something like "i dont think its about conditions, its about mindset" ahahaha what a fucking joke.

Doesn't help last year i moved somewhere further away from the main office cos i didnt know they were gonna fucking pull this. But i did choose to move so im worried theyll hold that against me if i brought it up (even though its massively improved my mental health so i dont regret it for a second).

So anyway in our morning meeting today we got told that from our manager's manager theres now gonna be an expectation to come in once a week. Fuck right off mate. Thats not happening. What a pisstake. I note no one's messaged me to ask how I'm doing even though they know this is an issue for me, presumably cos they know they won't like the answer. Also no way I'm getting any work done today cos my brain is in full on threat mode right now, this job is an active threat to my ability to cope with life.

Its even more fucking rich cos on friday we had a "safety" meeting and at the end they talked about mental health, the presenter (my manager's manager) said something about how office days are good for peoples mental health. That really bothered me cos of the amount of stress even the mention of it has had on my life recently so I sent her an email just saying i didnt feel that was inclusive and i'd just like an acknowledgement that whats good for NT mental health is not necessarily good for ND. And she sent me some generic reply with HR friendly phrases and she even said the point of the presentation was that different people have different mental health needs, which is not what she said at all.

In some ways this might be a good thing though cos when my manager was vaguely going on about once every 2 months I felt like it would be weird to make a fuss about that. However a formal policy of once a week is absolutely ridiculous, reasonable adjustments here i come. I didn't get diagnosed with autism for nothing. Fuck them if they try and stop me.

I'm not sure if this is an autism thing, or something else.

For the past few weeks while it's been in the 20s C, there's been a few times where I've found my self feeling incredibly sick like I was about to throw up. One time I did throw up. This is because of getting too hot. But I haven't felt hot and I haven't been sweating. But as soon as I cool down, I stop feeling sick.

I bought a wearable ice pack thing for when I get too hot and have a drawer full of the 2 in 1 tiptop things in my freezer to keep me cool, but I haven't been having/using them because I haven't felt hot.

I'm someone who normally sweats a lot especially my hands and feet. I even bought a cream thing a few years ago, to stop my hands from sweating but I didn't like it so I didn't use it very long.

Has anyone else experienced this? Does anyone know what's causing this?

Hello! I am very new to Reddit so if I have done something wrong in creating this post, I apologize in advance!

I am American, living in the UK nearly three years now. My dad was born here so I am technically a naturalized citizen, with a certificate of citizenship and a British passport and an NIN (not sure if this info is relevant/makes a difference). I am planning to start a masters program in September, and have just completed the application for a postgrad student loan. When I was completing the application, I saw something about applying for Disabled Students Allowance.

I believe I am likely autistic but I do not have an official diagnosis and have not yet begun the process of getting diagnosed (I plan to do so within the next month or so once I have moved cities and register with a new GP, regardless of the DSA). Do I need an official diagnosis to apply for DSA? Can I submit an application for DSA later on, after my loan has been approved, if I am waiting for a diagnosis? Any idea if it is likely to be approved? Is the DSA worth seeking out at all? Any advice, input, or others’ experiences would be welcome!

I'm really frustrated. I went through right to choose for an adult autism assessment back in May. My GP was thorough about it and considered all the ways I've looked for support prior to diagnosis and then sent it off with me there. I went through right to choose for somewhere with a lower waiting time. I contacted following the date I was told for if I hadn't heard anything only to be told my local ICB has frozen all referrals and they have my referral but can't do anything with it until released by the ICB and there's no knowing when that will be. I wasn't told or updated that my referral was frozen.

I've contacted the ICB about it and their policy is to consider support before diagnosis, but I've considered a lot of support. I'm seeking a diagnosis because I feel I need certain protections under the equality act to keep maintaining my work that I can only get with a diagnosis.

Like I've done everything right, I've considered everything you're meant to and it's still just not good enough because some organisation decides whether my referral has enough clinical need to exceed the limits on right to choose or not with absolutely no input from myself. I just feel defeated, it was already a massively long decision to even consider getting an assessment in the first place.

I recently went to a therapy session with a supposed "neurodivergent - experienced" counsellor, only to realize they really didn't have a clue. When I looked at other specialized therapists near me (or online) the only ones I can find charge between £100- £180 / hour.

Which makes me think there must be cheaper ways to come to grip with my problems. I'm a late diagnosed adult with autism +Adhd (50f). If I can't get some guidance by talking to somebody, maybe somebody here knows some literature, self help books etc. I could consult.

I've read a lot of stuff and watched a lot of YouTube about my diagnosis, but everything is about why I'm different and nothing gives me any help on how to get on in life in my situation.

If you had a similar experience please share.

Hi everyone,

I hope somebody can give me a bit of guidance, particularly those who are autistic, who may not be fully verbal now or who weren’t fully verbal when they were younger.

My son is autistic. He is nine years old, not fully verbal, and we live in the UK. He goes to a mainstream school, and I have fought very hard for him to have the support he needs. I think, so far, he’s in a good place, and I feel we’re making progress in making sure he’s supported in the right ways.

As he’s getting older, though, his emotions seem to be becoming more complicated. One thing he has really taken to doing is pinching me, especially when he’s struggling with his emotions. I’m really quite lost.

We’ve talked about the pinching and about what else he could do instead. We’ve tried to offer him alternatives, but I’m constantly covered in bruises. I’m constantly in tears because it hurts. It physically hurts, and it hurts my feelings too.

I can’t help but love him. I love him with all my heart. I’ve really tried to be supportive, kind, and to understand his world and the way he thinks. In so many ways, I get so much from being his mum.
But sometimes it just really hurts.

I can see that when he hurts me, he regrets it. He’ll try to kiss me and say, “I’m really sorry, Mama,” and he’ll try to kiss it better.

Today, for example, there was a colour run at school. Last year we tried but didn’t manage to take part. This year we tried again. We got as far as starting the run, and then he changed his mind.
We sat down together, and I told him that was okay. After a little while, I thought I could see that he maybe wanted to try again, so I said we could have another go and then go for an ice cream afterwards.
He said he didn’t want to run. I asked him again if he wanted to do it, and he said no. So I said, “Okay, let’s go home then.” He said, “Go home.”
And that was okay. I thought, you know what, that’s fair enough. We tried. We got as far as trying. I actually felt really proud that we’d tried.
But as soon as we walked out through the school gate, he started pinching me. Really hard. So hard.
I could see that all of his emotions were coming out, but it really, really hurt. It hurt physically, and it hurt my feelings.

Driving home, I felt disappointed not because of the run, but because of what that experience felt like.

It was hard not to notice the difference. It was hard not to feel sad for the things we’ll never have, and the experiences we’ll never have. I feel terribly guilty even thinking that.

Six months ago, before he started medication, I remember him being so dysregulated. I was trying my best to support him, but I felt like he was holding me hostage. I couldn’t go anywhere. We’d sit in the car while he screamed and screamed and punched me and pinched me and if I tried to get out of the car he would tell me to stay. My partner brought us food as I thought he may have been disregulated because of hunger but lack of sleep seem to be the issue hence getting him on melatonin. He is much calmer since he’s been on it and far more able to process his emotions as well as regulating himself.

I do remember finally getting home that day after he’d calmed down and thinking to myself, “How can I do this? How can I do this for the rest of my life?”
And I feel guilty for thinking that. I always wanted to be a mum. I don’t regret being his mum. But I also find those moments incredibly hard.

So can somebody please tell me why? Why does this happen? I know his emotions are more complex and I can see him trying to not pinch me and the immediate regret in his face and I just feel so sad for him and I wish I knew how to make it better.

I’m just trying to be a supportive mum. I really swear that I do my best to put myself in his shoes.
Sometimes, though… sometimes I just don’t like him in those moments, and I feel so guilty for saying that.

I love him desperately. But he makes me so sad when he hurts me and makes me bleed or makes me covered in bruises. I feel embarrassed at work covering my bruises in meetings with colleagues I also worry about what will happen when he’s older and he hurts me he could really really hurt me and I’m scared of that so we are currently accesing additional speech and language therapy as a way to try and help him express himself without pinching, he used to bite to communicate frustration, he’d bite everyone, teachers, friends, me. That has stopped with boundaries and speech support so I am also hopeful.

Inevitably, I keep wondering whether I’ve made a mistake. Whether I’ve got him in the wrong school, or taught him the wrong things.

I do discipline him. I do talk to him. He seems to understand. So I’m lost. I’m lost, and I’m grieving and I’m trying to regulate myself in a quiet spot whilst he plays outside in the garden for a few minutes.

I am going to ask him to bake a cake with me soon and hopefully we’ll return to our regulated selves. I just wanted to ask, in case someone went through this first hand. You may be able to share your experience and hopefully I can put some of that into practice to try and make things better.

FYI: For anyone who doesn't know, braces are basically shoulder straps to keep your trousers up. They call them "suspenders" in America, which refers to something entirely different in the UK. 🤣

Recently diagnosed with AuDHD in my thirties.

I've always found the waist of trousers annoying, whether it be jeans or dress trousers and a belt, or trackie bottoms with an elastic waistband and a string.

No matter my weight, I can never get them to stay in a comfortable position. They sag while I'm walking, especially if I have anything in my pockets, so I compensate by making them extra tight, which means I'm constantly aware of them, and it get's really bad when I'm sitting down. I feel like I'm constantly having to adjust them.

It especially drives me nuts when the seam underneath the crotch gets too low, so I have to pull them up whenever I kneel down or do anything that requires moving my legs laterally. I never really thought of it as an autistic thing, just an everyday discomfort that all men have to tolerate.

So anyway, a few weeks ago, while I was adjusting my waistband for the 100th time that day, I noticed an older colleague was wearing braces under his shirt. I thought "fuck it", and searched for some on Amazon so I could try them.

I've been using them a few weeks now, and I love them. The straps are adjustable, so you can set the waistband at exactly the right height, rather than it being dictated by your proportions, and they're elasticated at the back so when you bend and move, they move with you. I love being able to just walk and move without being constantly aware of where my waistband is. I feel it's improved my posture as well.

I don't think they're for everyone, and some people will probably dislike how they feel on the shoulders, but I think people should at least try them to see how they feel, because they've been a big deal for me.

I'm 24F and was diagnosed when I was 12 with ASD. Not Aspergers like my older brother was, not Level 1/2/3 Autism (I'm not even sure if they diagnose levels in the UK or if it's an American thing?), just ASD.

My teenagehood was so incredibly rocky, I struggled a lot with school (much trauma I will not go into) and ended up barely getting Functional Skills, and on top of that social services/CAMHS were just awful towards me, so much so I was actually financially compensated for the treatment towards me (including a social worker purposefully trying to break down my bedroom door and another social worker threatening to take me away from my parents forever in a midst of a meltdown).

I think things got better for me at around 18 when I landed my first proper job, if you count a part time barista as proper. For me it definitely was and I was very proud of having it and loved working the actual role, my store manager was quite supportive, but the supervisors and other regular baristas could not stand me. I guess I stuck out to them like a sore thumb but to this day I still don't really know how. Nearly a year in I just ended up breaking and quit, my coworkers were outright bullying me, 1 of them even asked my store manager to refuse shifts with each other because he found my autism 'too weird', and because my store manager was completely inexperienced, she just... accepted it? On top of that, most of my other baristas were making rumours that I was dating and even sleeping with one of my supervisors because I was 'too polite' to him for it to be anything normal. That wasn't the sole reason I quit though, I did also quit because I was developing chronic pain from an underlying health condition and I could no longer be on my feet for more than 1-2 hours without being in agony.

Since then I have regressed so, so fucking much, I am an absolute shell of what I used to be. I went from being low support needs to medium support needs, from my typing you'd probably figure not much is wrong with me but I cannot verbally speak for myself well any more, I can't verbalise my thoughts or feelings at all, my brain doesn't let words come out very often any more, almost like a form of age regression. Generally I've age regressed more in other ways I don't want to get into, inside I feel humiliated but at the same time it's what my brain and body demands. I struggle a lot with basic tasks like keeping my room tidy, changing my bed, cooking food that's beyond putting something in the microwave or oven, making phone calls and attending appointments etc.

But the worst part is that no one gives a shit when you're medium support needs, at least that's what it feels like. The NHS says my mental health and disability needs are 'too complex' for them, yet at the same time not severe enough to get frequent assistance. The government is taking away my PIP next month despite my overall coping with Autism and chronic pain being much worse compared to 3 years ago. I'm not disabled enough for any help, but too disabled to live a normal life, and it's absolute hell. I feel like a burden towards my family, and they've even told me that they deserve more than a medal for continuing to raise me, and how they mourn for a normal child who can be independent. As it stands, they've accepted I'm pretty much with them for life and will never know what full adult independence is. It's humiliating. I feel like a near-normal but depressed 24 year old stuck in the body of someone that shifts between the ages of 5-13.