I seriously hope this isn’t triggering to anyone, I know calorie counting is a serious issue and a lot of people here are likely still struggling.

I decided four days ago that I needed to make a change. After four years of counting, excessive cardio, restriction and just making myself miserable, my body has started to cave into itself. I’m weaker than I’ve ever been, I keep passing out, I’m constantly cold, my eyes feel heavy and my doctors are warning me that my muscles, including the ones around my heart could be beginning to deteriorate.

According to the doctors, I am underweight. They want me to go to a centre to recovery, which I’m more than happy to do. I’ve wanted to for a very long time but have been terrified to try in fear of being told I’m not valid.

I stopped counting calories last Thursday after I almost passed out in work and haven’t since. I’ve probably eaten quite a lot, I’ve kinda been eating foods that I haven’t allowed myself to even touch since I started this. The fact that it seems to have come so easily is making me second guess how severe my case was, though. I thought it was meant to be harder than this.

Don’t get me wrong, it isn’t plain and simple, I’m still thinking about calories and the fact I’m likely gonna gain- so on so forth- but even tho I’m scared, I just keep letting myself know that the doctors want me to gain and that if I don’t get over this issue I’ll spend the rest of my life miserable, if I even GET a ‘rest of my life’.

Again, I’m sorry if this post is triggering. I’m an 18 year old boy who just wants to get better and be happy again. Please help me.

was just wondering if anyone has any advice for dealing with the mental side of losing your appetite / gastroparesis? i've had pretty extreme hunger for most of my recovery and was always kind of jealous of people that had no appetite in recovery, but i had a quasi-relapse recently and i've had what i think is gastroparesis since -- my appetite is a lot smaller than usual and eating can make me feel physically uncomfortable (eg. heartburn, nausea, feeling uncomfortably full from normal amounts of food). i've seen lots of advice about dealing with loss of appetite in terms of how to make sure you're still getting enough calories (meal replacement drinks etc.) but it's really the mental side of it that's getting to me, like i feel really guilty for eating when i'm not super physically hungry, and i feel like i need to 'make the most of' not being hungry by not eating. has anyone else dealt with this / does anyone have any advice for either getting my appetite back, or for feeling better about eating when not hungry? thanks :)