I forgot I had a doctor’s appointment today and overslept through it. My mom is going to come home and berate me for being irresponsible, when in reality I forgot. I can’t stop forgetting and I don’t know how to stop it. She thinks I’m being bad on purpose but it’s my brain that doesn’t work. I swear I don’t do it on purpose, I just forget, and she doesn’t believe me. She doesn’t see how much it hurts to be betrayed by your own brain, she doesn’t understand that this isn’t my fault. She doesn’t understand that if I could, I wouldn’t be like this. I just want it to stop. I just want to be normal, I just want her to understand, I just want her to love me without making me hurt so bad, I just want to remember. I just want a new brain that isn’t messed up.

I just want to be normal.

Saw some Instagram reel of a guy saying something along the lines of “imagine how miserable your life would be if you woke up, scrolled all day, and went to bed every day” and immediately just felt envy for that life. This felt like a rock bottom moment for me. The thing that kept me going as I began to pursue an ADHD diagnosis was all of the dreams and ambitions that I wanted to achieve once I had the mental roadblocks out of my way, but now my brain is so fried that I’ve dug myself into this hole that I can’t get out of simply because I don’t want to.

Trust me, this is not because I don’t have anything better to do than scroll. I have hobbies. I have obligations. I have friends that want to hang out with me. But even when I’m doing these things that used to bring me joy or a sense of purpose, all I’m thinking about is how long until I can get into my bed and watch Instagram or TikTok for the rest of the night.

It’s really defeating and humiliating, as someone who is just starting ADHD treatment, to have my desire for my life to improve fade like this. Why am I even getting treatment if I don’t want to get better? I feel so stuck.

Edit: Thank you all so much for the supportive and helpful replies. PDD has been a concern for me and my psychiatrist, but it is hard to see the symptoms when I’m in it. It definitely seems clear to me now. I’ll definitely be practicing some better habits with my phone and talking with my psych about seeking treatment for depression.

Just curious- what’s something you’ve come across that helps you function better daily? It doesn’t have to be limited to one thing; it can easily be more. I understand that everyone’s different and some things help some but not others.

On the other hand, is there anything you’ve stayed away from or stopped? Thanks

For those of you with ADHD who don’t take medication, why not? I’m considering starting medication and would really like to hear some different perspectives before making a decision. I’ve heard both really positive and really negative things about different medications, so I’d genuinely appreciate hearing about your experiences and what led you to that choice.

(I’m posting to share my experience, hear from people with similar experiences, get advice and feel a little less lonely.)

Me and my wife are in our 30s. We’ve been married for 10 years and together for 20 years. We have three young children.

I was diagnosed and started medication (72 mg methylphenidate) this year after slowly realising what ADHD is and that I had it.

This has had a huge positive effect on my work, which was my initial motivation. However, I’ve found that by far the biggest impact it’s had is on my relationship. I love my wife and I believe she still loves me but it’s very painful to realise how misguided I have been and how much damage I’ve done to our relationship.

My main motivation in life is making my wife happy but over the last few years I’ve hyper-focused on completing specific tasks in an effort to gain her favour, while ignoring a lot of the things she actually needed for her own mental state. Also when my wife expressed her frustration it would make me very angry. I haven’t been violent but I’ve been aggressive and said things I didn’t mean and can’t take back (eg calling her a bad mother).

It’s almost as though there have been two versions of my wife in my head. I have been focused on pleasing the imaginary version but the real version has been frustrating me and telling me I’m failing.

I’ve been opening up to my wife about all of this. She has been very open with me which I’m grateful for, especially since my change in behaviour is jarring for her and our chats are emotionally tiring. The medication has made it easier to communicate, accepting her criticism, apologising and accepting that she may not be able to forgive me without responding angrily to perceived rejection.

I still have a long way to go becoming friends with my wife again. I accept we may not be able to regain a lot of the relationship we had and I may not even deserve that. I don’t want to use ADHD as an excuse but it’s definitely been a burden.

Does anyone else feel this way? I always dread things. Its not exactly an anxiety thing for me. Its more so the idea of the event/hang out happening later that freaks me out. I just can't stand the idea of going or doing it. It could be hanging out with friends, getting coffee with an old teacher, having a new class, anything.

Does anyone else dread everything, even things they like to do? Why do you think you dread it, if so?

For context, I have ADHD inattentive type, and I am starting to toy with the idea that I might also actually just be kind of dumb. I posted this recently in a Facebook group, but I feel like I’m either going to get hug boxed by the ADHDers or (inadvertently) condescended to by the ASD folks so I figured I’d go into the lion’s den that is Reddit and let people have at me for this take or hopefully get a little support. I’m super depressed and I hope no one is offended by me calling myself dumb. I want to clarify that I do not think my ADHD makes me stupid… I think I am just stupid and also happen to have ADHD. I am too tired to rewrite this and I am just in desperate need of support so here goes the copy and paste from that Facebook group post I wrote:

I’m pretty sure I am not very intelligent. I got told I was a genius growing up, and I kinda hoped that I was the sort of ADHDer who is also a misunderstood genius, but no. Thinking is hard for me. Memory recall is hard for me. Problem solving and spatial reasoning is hard for me. I make super obvious mistakes. I need a lot of time to do math. When I said I wanted to be an accountant, a friend of mine laughed out loud.

I am stupid and I am unfortunately surrounded by really smart often very non-ADHD/ASD people and worse sometimes I’m surrounded by ADHD/ASD/AuDHD people who actually are geniuses. I used to blame my brain fog and slow thinking on trauma but pretty much every genius or smart person I know has also been traumatized. I’m just not smart. It sucks cuz that was one of the few things I thought I could be proud of.

I also hate when people say intelligent people are more depressed than dumb people. I am a dumb, depressed person, and it’s a very lonely, frustrating, confusing experience. Maybe I have early onset dementia? I am only 33.

Btw I only bring up dementia cuz idk some of the symptoms I hear about remind me of adhd

Hi everyone, I got diagnosed a month ago by a neurpsychiatrist and asked for a second opinion with another psychiatrist. Both said I do have ADHD. I don't believe it. I know I'm odd, forgetful, and all that.. but IDK, doesn't feel like I have ADHD. My sister does too and hers is like ALOT ALOT. I'm not like her ! I know there are different types but still..

I started Ritalin two-three weeks ago (can't remember), and it changes my life completely. I start tasks more easily, feel more focus, less crowed in my head, but doesn't everyone feel that way ? Isn't everyone like that ? My best friend is like that and lots of my friends are too.

Idk I guess I really don't wanna have ADHD , idk what to think.

anyway, sorry for the rant !

Edit : I also have bipolar, but couldn't ADHD be confused with bipolar or sum?

Recently my working memory has been nonexistent. I’ve gotten into trouble at work and in my personal life because no one believes that I can look them dead in the eyes and even respond…and then have no memory of the information relayed later.

I am really really trying. Sticky notes. Text messages. Anything to externalize the stuff that will not stay in my brain. But I am still forgetting things. It’s like my brain just short circuits and it doesn’t matter how important the information is, when I need it, it’s no longer there.

This is severely debilitating and distressing because I really don’t feel like I have any control over it. Does anyone else deal with this? How do you cope? Are there triggers you’ve noticed that make it worse?

I always wanted an apartment with windows and a place I'm comfortable with once I go to college. And what I got is a small one with roaches (I have a massive phobia with this insect) and I couldn't stop crying because if I had save up my money years ago and didn't let myself impulsive buy, I could've afford the dream. If I just focused on improving my skills I could've applied for a job to afford it. And now I'm just sitting on the floor full of regrets. If I got diagnose sooner, this day would have been easier. But no:(

Its not just the apartment that I'm crying about. Its also about the hope and dream of getting better but no matter how much I tried it seems so hard to get it.

my adhd is genuinely tiring me out. i take elvanse (vyvanse) 40mg and even though it helps me focus, it also increases my anxiety and heart rate immensely. tried reducing dosage — side effects persisted (albeit at a lower capcity, but it felt like it wasn‘t helping me focus at all and exclusively gave me nothing but side effects). if i don‘t take it though i genuinely cannot get through work without it feeling absolutely torturous., so it just feels like i’m left with no choice but to live with this in order to function; even if it eats away at me little by little over time. i‘m not really sure why elvanse has this effect on me now because it worked wonders for me in the beginning. i was able to function properly, i would go out and socialize a lot more and even want to do so willingly. now all i wanna do is just go home and rot in bed. i have no energy or willpower to do anything at all and i hate it. i feel so misunderstood by my s/o and the people around me; instead, i get accused of using my adhd as an excuse to not want to try harder and put in more effort. not even my psychiatrist seems to take me seriously. i feel like i’m barely even conscious most of the time and i’m just drifting through life, waiting for the day to end so i can just go home and do absolutely nothing. my current situation makes me feel incredibly helpless, but feeling seen might make me feel better, so i guess i‘m posting this word salad of a rant here in an attempt to seek some kind words. if you read this far, thank you for reading <3

so i think i have adhd but I think I'm just thinking that for attention and I'm actually just a really lazy person and sometimes I hope that's not true and that i actually have something wrong with me so that my worst fears don't come true where I'm just faking shit for attention and stuff and like whenever I see smt that's adhd related and I think yea omg I get that but then I just think I'm such a pick me and hate on myself and i can't really go for therapy lowkey and like i keep overthinking every now and then about it like maybe I'm just a weirdo who's.aking stuff up and is lazy af and is asking for attention yup and I'm really sorry if this is offensive its just really been on my mind and I'm not trying to impersonate and stuff

I was watching a video on another system of planning (a classic) and the creator mentioned becoming self employed as a way to accommodate her adhd. I never thought about it that way before but honestly it made a lot of sense to my mind and how I want to live my own life. So I'd like to ask folks here, have you gone down the path of entrepreneurship because it worked best with your adhd?

Idk if this is something specific to me or not. But sometimes I forget to take my meds for maybe a day or two and then suddenly the habit is just totally gone and I struggle taking them. Like even if I remember, I think to myself „hmm I’ll take them in a second“ or „I’ll take them later I woke up too early“ or „I’ll get water to take them in a second“ . Then I basically procrastinate taking them for hours and keep forgetting. Sometimes I procrastinate taking them so long it ends up being too late. Then this keep going for legit a week where I do basically nothing but be a hungry, depressed mess till I get my „routine“ somewhat back and it works well for a few weeks again. Repeat.
Been procrastinating taking my second daily med dosage for 2 MONTHS now because it feels impossible to change it up and I just procrastinate it and idk why. Like I’m telling myself its literally so easy and just takes 10 seconds and isnt even unpleasant but my brain just refuses or forgets.

Someone please tell me they relate? Or why this happens cause wtf lol

its actually becoming a real problem like i cant go a day without “trolling” people online with my phone number/instagram handle on full display. its so self destructive and i have to stop. its actually hurting the people i “troll”. like i text and dm them random things and rage bait them for hours for no reason at all other than i think its funny. i need advice. what should i do?

I'm 16, turning 17 in September. Lately I've been in one of the hardest places I've ever been mentally. I got so stressed during my exam that I became sick and didn't pass. Now I have to retake it in August, and the thought of it just makes me even more stressed.

Ever since I failed, it feels like my life has been falling apart. Nothing feels right anymore. I'm on vacation, but instead of enjoying it, I spend most of my days sitting alone, thinking and trying to figure out what's wrong with me. The more I think, the worse it gets.

I want to do so many things, but I can't make myself do any of them. I stopped going to the gym after finally becoming consistent, I barely eat because I have no appetite, and I spend almost every day trapped in my own thoughts. It feels like I'm desperately searching for something, but I have no idea what it is.

I've talked to older people with ADHD i know, but no one has had this problem this early in their life and my friends my age with adhd cant relate

I'm constantly agitated, exhausted, and honestly, I feel completely lost. I don't even know why I'm writing this or what I'm hoping to get from it. I just know that it feels like I'm slowly falling apart, and I don't know how to stop it.

Edit: i am a bricklayer wich means my job is 7-3 and that job relies on my passing of exam. I would have to basically reset my whole education if i fail my second exam.

I'm a 21-year-old web developer, and I honestly feel like I've lost the last 7+ years of my life.

My biggest problem isn't motivation. I desperately want to work, but when I sit at my laptop my brain just shuts down. Technically I don't have motivation just i made it habit and discipline.

My symptoms:

• I sit for hours and get almost nothing done.
• I have severe executive dysfunction and time blindness.
• My processing speed feels extremely slow.
• My working memory feels almost nonexistent. I read something and it doesn't seem to stick.
• I constantly drift into rumination, self-analysis, or maladaptive daydreaming.
• Since childhood I've had intrusive fearful thoughts, and my brain immediately starts analyzing them instead of letting them go.
• Every self-help concept becomes an obsession. If I learn about mindfulness, I keep checking whether I'm present. If I learn about discipline, I keep checking whether I've lost self-control. My brain turns everything into another mental project.
• I keep searching for the "exact root cause" instead of actually living my life.

I've had extensive blood work (thyroid, B12, vitamin D, iron, glucose, CBC, etc.) and everything was normal.

I've tried:

• stopping music/daydreaming triggers
• self-help
• meditation
• spirituality
• productivity systems
• therapy advice
• psychiatrists

I'm currently 3+ weeks into Bupropion XL 150 mg + Clonidine (Arkamin) with essentially no noticeable improvement so far.

My clients keep waiting for work while I spend entire days trapped inside my own head. I genuinely feel like my brain can't process information or execute tasks anymore.

Please be honest, even if the answer isn't what I want to hear. I just want to know if someone with a similar story eventually got their life back.

Hi lately i have Been struggling with constantly asking myself i am stupid or not. rethinking past mistakes overthinking it, having moments when i just think for example: did i critisise that correctly? I think i did, would i think i did if i was Smart? Was that stupid? Am i stupid? Would i be asking if i were stupid if i were stupid And so on and so forth. I read books and i wonder if i am reading to compensate for my supposed stupidy. Also through out my whole life in my day to day life i notice things i say and do that i recognize as stupid for example judging something to quickly, not thinking about it enough, analyzing peoples expresions and replies to determine if a thing i said was "inteligent" (theres alot of things like it, even Simpler ones i cant Remember for some reason but if i remember some ill put it in the edit)i am putting it in air quotes as i am not certain what that Word means. I mean i ve read alot of explenations of what does it mean i asked some people in my life what does it mean to them. I checked Reddit, YouTube, real life etc etc and almost everyone Has conflicting ideas which make me only more confused. Sometimes their answers lift me up sometimes make me feel worse but none of them realy stand out to me as the "correct" one you know

I wanted to Ask about your opinions on the subject, your own life expiriances and sorry for spelling mistakes and have a good day :D

(theres definietly more i want to say on the subject but i cant think of anything more at the moment)

This is really one of my biggest issues that feels like a straight up disability. I constantly get left and right mixed up and cannot seem to relate another perspective on a map correctly to myself. Like in video games, I will THINK I am going the right way, but then pull up the map and am going completely the opposite way. I also have a habit of going to the exact wrong door when I walk back into a room from a different perspective. It isn't that big of a deal cuz, video game, but it does lengthen the time I spend playing them and gets frustrating for my husband who is watching me play LOL.

Really this translates to real life too, but I don't drive and I don't go to a lot of new places. If I am in a new place though, I will usually end up lost , but that is not even uncommon among people...

I feel like I can't really keep track of a list of directions either, I just forget. So like go this way, then I am gonna go that way- I am just constantly pulling up the map every two seconds. Thank goodness for GPS . It helped me out a lot when I used to try and walk to new places or take the bus.

Like I actually have a VERY good memory for where things are at my work ( retail) , but I think it is because I am remembering it by objects and not by direction.

Anyone relate?

Hi all, first time poster here. Been struggling a bit with literally doing anything. A bit of background. I am a 25 y/o M and got diagnosed with inattentive/Impulsive ADHD back in Septemberish 2025. Back in January I broke up with the person I was seeing and hit a major depression for about 5-6ish months until I switched from Lexapro to Effexor. I also take Adderall for my ADHD.

So now for where I am still struggling. I used to be able to keep my apartment decently picked up. But now, I just look at a mess and can’t bring myself to do it unless I have a spark of ambition to do so. I used to go to the gym 4-5 days a week and now I don’t want to go even though I “know” I should. I also don’t really eat much anymore. Maybe like a meal and a snack or two a day. I play a lot of online games with friends, and that is where I spend a lot of my time these days.

As much as I love playing games I know it’s not healthy to do so all day, as I will play for HOURS, only to get up for the rest room, or take my dog out.

My chores pile up until I either have no clothes to wear and am forced to do laundry, or my sink is so full (I don’t have a dish washer) I don’t have any dishes. And sometimes if I don’t have dishes I literally will just not eat.

If anyone has advice on breaking this pattern I am in and actually start living again it would be much appreciated. I know this also probably sounds like depression/burnout. I just can’t figure out how to get out of it. I am also In therapy, and have been feeling good for the most part with the switch to Effexor.

This is my biggest problem right now :( I just feel mentally drained often, especially towards dinner time - seems to cause some anxiety too. If I enjoy a hobby for a while, my brain will get exhausted and any practice time will be just diminishing returns at a point. It sucks because I want to keep doing it. Breaks can help, but aren't that effective for me. Once my brain is fried it stays there for a long while. Don't get me started on work and social situations.

I take vyvanse currently, and recently got off adderall for the longer lasting effect.

I really need to figure this out

I have been going to different dance classes on and off for 3 years, but I keep on running to an issues. The days I don't have class I have a hard time keeping myself active and not just laying on the sofa after work. I can feel that my body needs exercise and/or something simulation. On those days I get angry and emotional at the end of the day.

The problem is when I tried to ad more dance classes so id feel good everyday I burned out and was pretty much bed ridden for a week.🙈

I find it hard to do exercise alone and finding the motivation for it even though I know it makes me feel better.I do have other hobbies too but they are all group based activities too.

Any suggestions? Help?

How can I support myself the best?

I am currently on the wait list to be assessed and who knows how long that will take.

I have always struggled with fiddling in school and attention difficulties, being on time to school for as long as i’ve been going to school by myself, and a lot of other childhood symptoms.

However I never really thought of them as issues because that’s how i’ve been my whole life.

School will be the most important aspect of my life til i graduate from university, and a lot of my issues are school related; lack of focus in class, zoning out, always fidgeting and unable to sit still.

I always just felt like although these things are impacting my school life and life in general, maybe I just have to try harder and eventually I’ll get there. I had extremely inconsistent grades, so i could tell that i was capable.

Due to a doctor also invalidating my mental experience before i joined the waitlist i’m just not sure if it’s worth pursuing.

So did anyone else feel this way before diagnosis? Feeling like your problems aren’t real problems and instead a lack of effort