It fit my wallet, keys, lipliner, gloss, two buzzballz, and two pink Whitney shooters 🤣🤣🤣

I took a leap of faith recently and began doing things I never would have imagined doing a couple of months ago- I had my first ever drink earlier this month and taken my hijab off for the first time just the other week (let me tell you- nothing beats feeling the wind graze your neck. I felt truly invincible AND invisible as I was no longer subject to the odd stare or two in public- as one would obviously be, because why would one wear so many clothes in 30 degree weather 😭)

Despite leaving the faith when I was 14 and struggling with the downsides of living in a strict, overbearing somali household I was obviously far too scared to rebel.

Thankfully I am surrounded by people who accept me for who I am and not only that, they celebrate it.

I haven't felt the need to post on here for years but I'd like to, simply just to memorialise this entire ordeal and come to terms with the fact that a big chunk of the struggle is almost over! I am ecstatic.

(As I am writing this I have yet another drink stashed away, it feels weird having my ultra-religious hoyoo next door despite that 😭😭)

anyways just wanted to put that out there, thank you all- you inspire me everyday!

I have a stepdad, him and me have always been close since my mum married him when I was 6 or 7. It was hard accepting him at first but then we both got along really well. He is the kindest most understanding person unlike my mum who is a narcissist, he actually tries to understand your point of view, he is the one I’m most scared of disappointing because of how kind he was when my mum was the opposite. But now things kind of changed, he is not his old self, and I think the reason is because of my mum, she is really abusive and that took a toll on him, he was diagnosed with depression at ones but she wouldn’t let him get treatment and even threatened to divorce him if he took the medication. New he is kind of keeping to himself he is not as open as he used to be, his mood is always kinda down and he also has a nerve disorder and he needs surgery for that. But the question I had today was not this, I just gave all this context so you’d know him a bit. So he is very religious, his family is a lineage of sheikhs, he is a hafiz in both Quran and tafsir. So he is strict about dressing. Him and my mum can’t even see my bra strip, my mum started it first than after that my dad started saying how I should not wear big neck baatis, and every time he sees my baati having a big neck were my bra strip is visible, he is always making a comment on it and pointing it out. That started to make me feel kind of sad and uncomfortable, I started to wear my gabsar every time he is around but am I over reacting. Like is this normal?. I’m not allowed to wear pants and stuff so I’m pretty modest dressing to please them. I’m also not at all fighting it or pushing back, because my mum is kinda extreme with her punishments, I don’t wanna be homeless either so I’m just taking it all and not even talking back or addressing my concerns, I will just keep obeying them till I am independent. I am 18 by the way. There is a lot of crazy shit about my life but the post would be too long if I start talking about that. What do y’ll think?. 🤔

Moved out some months ago and went no contact but I feel like it’s so easy to completely abound Somali culture. Esp like if ur living alone u never want to make baaris and other Somali food cuz its like (for me) high effort food and it feels useless to make it if only i will be eating it. I don’t drink Somali tea and I don’t listen to Somali music I feel like sometimes I get reminded of my family when I do typical Somali things or see Somali people and sometimes I even experience ptsd and.

I’m f17. Just curious on how it felt to try it for the first time for those who did? I’ve been thinking about the possibility of going to pubs/nightclubs at university and it doesn’t seem too bad. I love music and dancing but I am a little nervous about alcohol. I’ve never tried it and I definitely won’t until I move out, but it intrigues me. I worry that I’ll be a light weight and I’ll be unable to limit myself properly. I also worry that it’ll be too exciting and I’ll end up reliant/addicted to it. I tend to easily get hooked on things that give me dopamine due to having ADHD so I’m a lil worried on how to manage that possibility. Any advice/thougts?

Also I really like want to try a buzz ball.

I’m F17 and closeted. Growing up, my mum always took care of my hair. It was very thick and healthy. She kept it in braids and washed and maintain it for me once a week. Once I hit 12 she suddenly stopped and it became my responsibility. I just did it how she taught me but I either kept in a braided ponytail or just a bun. I never really had a curly hair routine besides oil and different hair lotions like Pink.

I’ve been trying to learn how to maintain my curls. I was formally diagnosed with traction alopecia because of the hijab so I want to wear it out at least when I’m at home to give my hair some relief. I also don’t want to look a mess when I’m an adult and hopefully free to wear whatever I want.

My hair is a decent length, 3c and about shoulder length when it’s curly and halfway through my back when wet. It’s gotten thin due to the alopecia but is quite healthy with minimal heat damage or bleach. Any advice on products I should use, and a possible routine would be so so appreciated as I often don’t see advice on how to maintain curly hair with hijab.

Somali content creators who don’t look like the quintessential Somali or live the typical life, how do you do it?

I’ve been contemplating social media for a long time, all my friends and family are supportive of me and I really want to tap In to the wellness and development niche (there isn’t many of us) but how do Somalis who are visibly Somali manage with all the attention.

I really don’t want to only lean in to being a somali creator as my culture doesn’t influence my culture or lifestyle whatsoever.

whats the high like?

is it just basically caffeine?

or better/stronger?

*I’m not talking about baatis/dirac shiid, but Swiss diracs which are worn as casual dresses in Djibouti. I wish it was like that in other Somali regions.

I wore a baati outside once in Somalia and got death stares which ig fair enough since it’s pyjamas, but it’s not the same for men who wear macawis :/ This might have just been the city I was in since I’ve seen women on tiktok wearing baatis out in public with no problem.

The thing is, other dirac styles like faransawi, embellished and maqbal are pretty itchy and uncomfortable to wear. This is why I specifically want swiss to be casual wear. Like in the picture. It’s so comfortable and perfect for the weather. It also doesn’t stick to my lower body when it’s windy unlike abayas.

I hope a day comes where I can wear a Swiss Dirac in Somalia without people wondering if I’m going to weddings, or looking at me strange. It should be more common than abayas which aren’t even our culture and lowkey look strange 😭 And (I hope I don’t sound out of touch) Swiss diracs are typically the same price as abayas, around £30-80. I remember getting a discount from this lady years ago and I got this beautiful lilac set for £25 😻

Heyyyy guys.

How do you guys get your diracs tailored? Do you think any tailor would be fine? I have some fabrics I want to order from a Somali boutique but they aren’t sewn and I have a non existent Somali community in my state. The fabric is the same as the one in the photo and ideally I want the dirac to look like that (I like tighter diracs).

What do I tell the tailor?

I’m 26 yo and been seeing my 23 yo gf for about 8 months now and we really clique and I we kinda already agreed we wanted to get married.

Problem obviously is she is Muslim (occasionally talks about “going to heaven”) and a hijabi. Now that things are getting serious and I think she is expecting an engagement ring soon it’s making me really consider if I should be going along with this, going into marriage with a Muslim women when you yourself don’t believe (never have since I was 16, and have no intention of ever coming out!).

I’ve been faking it thus far, and since she doesn’t seem to be religious herself (never see her pray, can barely even read Quran etc) I was wondering if it would be somehow possible to convince her that religion was BS essentially.

Normally I would never attempt such a thingc as it’s such a hard thing to do, I’ve learnt that people either see it for themselves or don’t. The information is out there, if someone really wanted to know the truth & were willing to change their mind based on new information they’d seek it out for themselves. But there’s a few things that i think might give me a special opening with my gf: she is super pro lgbt+ whatever and even looks down on “homophobic” people.

On the surface, it would seem like her morals are at direct conflict with her religious beliefs (unless she doesn’t believe it?” I don’t know, I’m wondering whether this could be a good way to open this conversation up, as in trying to convince her that “Islam couldn’t be true because it’s inherently homophobic”. Btw she has a 1st cousin that’s gay that she grew up with. Also seems to get along a little extra fine with her gay colleagues.

Btw she definitely does believe in Islam and heaven/hell/jinns and all that BS. Never prays. Caught her cheating during Ramadan. Eats haram food. Super strict with hijab. Very pro LGBT. Semi -religious.

I’m worried this can go either way, she can lose religion or even double down on it, and often in these situations it is often the latter.

Also I wonder if there is an age limit where the chances of you becoming atheist falls drastically ? I have a feeling it’s about 21-22, if you don’t figure it out during college I don’t think most ever will (but that’s just a guess)

Anyway I’m rambling now but any opinions welcome

Back when I was young, she used to force me to pray, to read Quran and etc. Now She's more strange as if she has turned a whole new page. She told me this few days ago:

Could you promise me not to drink, do drugs or anything that harms you. To be honest, I really don't care if you pray or not. I mean not praying isn't as dangerous as drinking alcohol. Just dont cross that line.

Damn mom. Although it is a bit too late considering that I have already moved out but still thanks for at least not giving a fuck about me praying. It may have something to do with my dad's decision to move to Somalia and never come back to see us (hes a deadbeat so I really don't care nor do my siblings care lmao). He used to hold my mom with a tight leash (Not literally) and he even manipulated to make her believe that She's not capable without him. She's now realizing that She's more smarter than he could ever be.

I saw a post here today of someone trying pork after they saw a post of someone else trying pork, so I too got curious. In honor of continuing the chain, I had some prosciutto. It was actually pretty good! It was a little salty, mostly savory. I had it with some bread. With these things, I do prefer beef though!

I feel like diaspora Somalis in general are becoming less strict/religious. Nowadays whenever I see young Somali families I see the daughters are 8/10 not wearing a hijab and the mothers are usually wearing the hijab but in a more modern way like with jeans and whatnot. Which has been a so nice to see and I also feel like before seeing a Somali girl without a hijab was extremely rare but these days every 1/10 Somali girl I see isn’t wearing a hijab. I see way more Somalis posting online abt being atheist, having bfs/gfs (I see that in Somalia too actually 😭) I just feel like we’re finally moving forward and the future generations will finally leave Islam behind or be more culturally religious rather than actually religious. Next 10 years most Somalis will be irreligious trust. I’m speaking as an American Somali tho is it diff in European countries or Canada?

I wanted to wish you guys happy new year. I hope you’ll be able to find your true self and may next year bring out the best in you. I also hope for our community to grow and prosper where ever we may be.

In my heart, I’ve left islam in May 2025, but in practice, not much has changed in my life since then.

I still often feel the subconscious need to pretend that I’m muslim, even though intellectually and even spiritually I have 100% left the religion. I guess it is an effect of 24 years of indoctrination, as well as still being friends with and being surrounded by many practising muslims. I don’t intend to tell my parents until well after I’ve moved out, but I also still ‘pretend’ to be muslim around my muslim friends. I’ve even been to a couple of lectures and friday prayers accompanying my friends, whilst being a ex-muslim. It’s like I can’t muster up the courage to practice what I actually believe…

When I’m alone, or with my non-muslim friends, I feel at peace and live my life the way I want to. But when I’m with muslims, I almost feel embarrassed and feel the need to hide my atheism.

Maybe its the fear of not wanting to lose my muslim friends. But maybe it would be for the better to get rid of them.

I just feel confused and don’t know what to do. Has anyone gone through this? Looking for advice.

People told me to do this so lets do it.

My hobbies

Just a wonderful guy who spends his time listening to music. I love music and I am currently learning how to play guitar. I love RnB songs released in the 2000s, but if my mood is down then I will probably play Rod wave (if my mood is really down then I will also play sleep token).

Another thing I would do is to watch anime or read mangas/manhwa. I have read quite alot of manhwas over the course of many years. It is simply hard to count how many that I have read. As for anime? I love anything that piques my interest like One piece and etc. I also invested into one piece cards and got few MID cards.

I am also a programmer at heart (dealing specifically with embedded systems). I learned how to code when I was around 14-15 by myself. The current programming languages that I know are: Rust, Python, golang, C, and JavaScript/Typescript. I am planning to learn Zig and maybe use that as my main programming language but I will leave that to the future.

My dislikes

What I hate? People who dont contribute into the friendship as much as I do. I dont owe you anything for me to do this shit so please do not act like I do. I hate "testing the waters" just to get know your boundaries. Make it very clear in the beginning or at least mention that it annoys you without having to go straight to tapping the block button.

That is all I can think of. Now that I have gone and described what I like down to the last atom ... It is your turn.

i never feel satisfied enough after I pleasure myself. my body yearns for the real deal

Majority of the ppl here are from Scandinavia and yet nobody wants to actually be friends outside of online and etc. I even thought that I would meet one of yall in the comic con that happened in Stockholm but damn yall are being super cautious.

Well I am 21 and a man so I know that no woman would try to meet a man outside of the internet (and rightfully so). As for the men, at least yall can be somewhat understanding, help your mans out 😭.

Seems like the assumption I made on the previous post was far-fetched. Anyways, where yall from?

If you are from Scandinavia .... Pleaseee lets hang out cuz this summer is killing me already (Need to be 19+ ).