“We’re not going to find them here.” I said, just as darkness sliced through the gay bar.
“Put your hands together for our first act: Darling O’Daymin!” The emcee roared.
The crowd, seated at various tables around us, began to cheer. It felt wrong to hold my hands silent beneath the table. I stared down at the condensation on my glass of fizzing diet soda. Diet because Willow couldn’t have sugary soda, so neither could we.
Willow isn’t here…
A magenta light flashed and spun until it hit Darling: a tall, sparkling figure clad in a dazzling gold velvet dress with a slit up to one hip. A set of glorious metal fairy wings reflected the light in swirls of gold. Completing the ensemble was an intricate, filigreed mask over a painted white face.
The first lighthearted chords of a familiar jazzy tune slunk through the room. Darling walked into the crowd, microphone raised. Her voice was soft and low as she began to sing…
You are my sunshine,
my only sunshine…
She was a long way from our booth in the back of the club.
I wanted so badly to sink into the melody of the song, to let the flash and bang of the show to soothe me.
Dandelion had to yell over the music. “They might be here. We could be missing the most obvious place to find them.”
You make me happy,
when skies are gray…
Darling was coming this way. My stomach roiled. I loved Darling O’Daymin’s acts – her soothing voice and saucy costumes, which ranged from slinky old-school gowns all the way to neo medieval.
I scanned the room – no Willow.
You’ll never know dear,
How much I love you…
Tears sprang to my eyes. If Dandelion had wanted to watch a drag show, they could have come alone. I leaned into their ear, “I’m going.”
“Thorn, wait.” Dandelion hopped off the stool at our high table and followed me through the crowd. While the people around us were dressed their best in gowns and colourful button-ups, I felt out of place in my scruffiest jeans and t-shirt, along with a raggedy red hoodie that had faded to a dull pink over the years. Dandelion was dressed in much the same.
Behind us, Darling’s voice rolled through the room, becoming nothing but a faraway memory as I opened an exit door and left the act behind.
I crouched against the wall and gulped the air, desperately trying to force my breathing to slow and relax.
“One, two, three,” Dandelion crouched beside me and breathed in as they counted, then breathed out with, “four, five six,” as they rubbed my back. They continued to count and breathe in and out, in and out. Slowly, my own breath became longer and slower until it matched theirs.
“I’m sorry. It was a bad idea, okay? I just thought…” They sighed, “Maybe Willow left because they wanted to. And then… well, they wouldn’t miss their favourite drag queen.”
“They’ve never left this long just because of a fight.” I argued.
“They’ve been overwhelmed, lately. We all are.”
“No. Not like this. They wouldn’t be on the run with no contact for three weeks. They’d at least talk to me.”
Dandelion’s hand pulled away from my back. “I’m sorry, okay?” They rubbed their shaved head.
“I didn’t mean it like that.”
“Look, as soon as we find Willow, I’ll tell them I’m out. I’ll find a place of my own where I can’t fuck it all up.”
“Dandelion, no.” Tears made my voice croaky and hoarse. I leaned against them. “We’ve talked about this. You’re not going anywhere, okay? Or we’ll find you and bring you back.” I let out an exasperated sigh. “I don’t think this is normal. I think something happened to them. Something like…”
“The kind of thing that happens to people like us?” Dandelion asked quietly.
I nodded. “Maybe we should be checking dumpsters, not drag shows.” More tears spilled over my cheeks. I wiped them away on my sweater.
“Okay.” They shrugged.
We both looked up at the one down the alley from us, dark and green and filthy. God, Willow could be in there as well as any place…
I shot to my feet and strode to it, lifting the lid and staring into the shadowed depths. I let the lid fall with a loud clang.
Dandelion joined me and ripped the lid upward, clambering upward and into the metal bin.
“What are you doing?”
“Come on, you barely checked. We need to get in under all of this garbage or it’s gunna haunt us.”
“I don’t… Dandelion, I was being more hyperbolic than anything. I don’t really… oh god, what if they-“
“I’m checking.” Dandelion kicked a bag to one side of the pile.
“Wait!” I searched around the alley until I found a stick that had been swept in from the sidewalk. Reluctantly, I looked at the filth covering the dumpster, then threw the stick in and followed it unceremoniously. I was too late with the stick – Dandelion grunted with disgust as they hauled a bag from the top of the pile and threw it over the edge of the metal bin.
Still, I used it to help sift through the layers of trash and poke for any signs of a… our friend.
It took us several minutes of grunting and grimacing before we were done. By the end, bags of garbage littered the alley. Only the scraped-up bottom of the dumpster stood beneath us.
Without a word I began climbing out of the dumpster.
“Yo, what the fuck?!” Our heads snapped upward toward a person illuminated by an open door.
We froze.
“Run!” Dandelion yelled, half-hazardly vaulting out of the metal bin.
I stopped for them, making direct eye contact with the irate employee behind us before beginning to run.
When we were halfway to our place, we stopped to catch our breath.
I looked over at Dandelion, whose eyes were wide. All at once a smile broke out over my face. I tried to fight it, but laughter soon followed.
Dandelion joined me. “Willow’s going to think we’re freaking crazy!”
“I can already picture their face as we tell them we’re banned from Azure!”
“Well, it’s their fault. Fuck, I bet they’re shacked up with some hot older guy. Remember the dude they met at church?”
I nodded “I remember.”
“I bet he made them say “oh god,” a lot.” They grumbled.
“Dandelion!” I admonished, but my lips twitched into another smile.
“What! They deserve this! They have us worried!”
I sighed. “Leave their sex life alone.”
We walked a few more blocks in silence.
I reached out for Dandelion’s hand, only to draw back in disgust when I realized how sticky it was. “Ugh, what were we even doing? We should let the police do this kind of stuff.”
“The police don’t give a fuck.”
“I know.” I agreed quietly. We’d been calling them every few days, but the clerk we’d spoken to on speaker phone had been bored at best and irritable at worst.
We were quiet the rest of the way. When we finally turned down the alleyway with the back door to our apartment, something seemed off. It felt like… someone was there.
“Hello?” I called. Something stirred down the alley. “Willow?” hope effused me.
“Get out from there.” There was a strange edge in Dandelion’s voice as they took a step forward.
Fear, I realized. They were posturing. Sure it could be Willow - or it could be whoever had attacked them.
A dark shape shot out from behind a dumpster and ran at Dandelion. I screamed as it tackled them to the ground.
Dandelion’s hands shot outward to its head, its jaws snapping inches from their nose.
I was frozen in place. All I could do was stare.
Dandelion screamed – the thing had bit into their arm and was savaging it.
On instinct, I kicked it, almost tripping in my haste, then managed to catch myself and boot it again. Hard.
The thing turned to me – white face, black hair, snarl curling its lips and wrinkling its nose.
It’s a person, I had a moment to think, then I ran.
Behind me, the thing screeched in rage.
I didn’t look back, but I knew it was following me.
I stomped down the alleyway and threw myself into the street.
A bright light.
Tires screeching.
A revving engine.
I cringed away from the vehicle as it slammed the brakes.
The creature was still growling behind me. I ran into the next alley, but there was a chainlink fence in front of me.
The creature was there, standing back, watching me wearily.
Somewhere in the distance, I could hear Dandelion talking with an edge of panic in their voice.
My knife - I kept a pocket knife on me at all times just in case. Mostly, I used it for opening boxes or slitting mail.
I hurriedly pulled it out, almost dropping it as I worked to open it.
I brandished it at the thing – it didn’t like that, its lips pulling back so that it could hiss.
A shiver went up my spine.
I was going to die.
This person was sick. Dangerous.
And they were going to kill me.
And I might have to hurt them.
I might have to stab them.
They needed help and all I could do was stand here with my tiny fucking knife and try to kill them before they killed me.
The thing lunged, but I swiped at it with the knife.
It dodged.
Suddenly, the alley was alight with golden light, somewhere right in front of me, something was shining like a flashlight, then the alley was bathed in the stark white light of some sort of vehicle.
The creature turned and hissed again.
“Thorn, it’s Willow!” Dandelion screamed.
Willow? I thought numbly. Then I recognized the grungy hoodie, what used to be Thorne’s favourite shade of blue. The slim build and long, tangled black hair. It was Thorne.
“What’s wrong with them?” I yelled.
Dandelion ran forward, casting a shadow in the light. “Willow, it’s okay. It’s okay.” They were cradling their injured arm, hunched in on themself.
Thorne snarled and backed up toward me a bit, then seemed to realize they were penned it. With a final screech they turned on me.
On instinct I cringed and held the blade out.
Felt it sink into something.
Heard the thing inhale sharply.
Heard Dandelion scream.
I opened my eyes.
The knife was gone from my hands - it was sticking out of Willow’s stomach.
They touched it, then looked at me with shocked eyes through the tangled mess of their hair.
“Willow?” I whispered.
They let out a caterwaul of rage and ripped the knife from their body, then lunged at me again.
Dandelion screamed.
I closed my eyes.
A brilliant golden light filled my vision, then I heard the rattle of the chainlink fence behind me, and something running.
I opened my eyes.
Willow was gone
“Thorn, are you okay?” Dandelion was in front of me.
“I stabbed them,” I said in a small voice I didn’t recognize. “I stabbed Willow.”
I collapsed to my knees.
Dandelion managed to catch me, wincing at the pain.
I heard them grunt from it, then all was dark.
