Saw a post and asking if you prefer men legs shaven or hairy and the women who said hairy answered others with "id date a woman if i wanted hairless", "if hes not a woman he should be hairy", i dont want a boy" and how are we supposed to teach these misogynistic women that women are also naturally hairy and that what makes it a woman? I feel like these kind of women are the reason we are oppressed this much besides men and thats why we shamed bc of body hair, they are also responsible. It was other gay men who defended being hairless doesn't make u any less of a man. Plus these women never see the pattern, a man would never be ok w your hairy legs but you are giving them the freedom of having hairy legs which is misogynistic and these women never see this. Like how? Women can never unite bc of women like these. I sometimes wonder if they are men in womens bodies to be this blind. To them, its being a "boy" if you are hairless but she is probably shaving her little bit of leg hair to be a what? Girl? Why no problems with looking like a girl and not woman suddenly? Double standards.

If you’ve watched any reality show on Netflix, I’m sure you’ve heard the term “the mother of my children” come out of at least 1 man’s mouth.

What are your thoughts on that?

Personally, it gives me the ick. Am I nothing more to a man than a childbearing person?? A baby manufacturer?

Hi girlies,

I don’t know if I’m the only one that thinks like this but I am starting to really hate being a girlfriend. Every time that I am in a relationship (I am in one currently ) , I feel jealous that my partner find other girls attractive ( i know its human nature and I am not blind.) My current bf watches porn and Im starting to look at him with disgust. I hate having to text my partner, explaining why certain things he does hurt me. I just feel its a full time job and a draining chore. I hate having to worry or think about another person constantly. When I am single and I am talking to a guy, I really don’t care what girls he is attracted to . I feel like This is my life and I should not spent all my youth feeling like this. I don’t know how to explain, i don’t find myself unattractive and my bf is not really my type of guys normally so I have no idea why my brain is this way. I am so ashamed and devastated that all I think about is a man , I don’t think I want to have a bf ever or Even a husband. anyone else is like this ?

I finally decided to make a new Reddit account to open up about this. I recently started therapy but feel that maybe other women could help me heal, too.

I started to date a guy my first semester of college. First love, first relationship. I was only 17 and it was a whirlwind. He was so sweet and respectful and I fell hard for him. We had some issues with the friend group we were in, and long story short, he transferred to another location of our college the following year for his program. I was supposed to move cross-country with my family, but he begged me to stay, so I did.

I really REALLY wanted to believe it would work out. I transferred with him and despite my parents concerns I didn’t want to believe them. We had gone on a summer vacation together and things had been great (minus friend drama).

Fall of 2024 while we were at our new location (our university has multiple campuses throughout our state), I found out he had extensively been watching porn and specifically different fetishes I knew he was into (will not divulge here) on twitter and Reddit. I had a hard boundary that if you are in a relationship with me, porn is not acceptable. He knew this. I am not shaming anybody else - this is my own boundary that I have within my life. It caused a massive fight, in which he gaslit and lied to me a lot. I trusted he hadn’t looked at it in awhile, and had only looked at it a few times during our relationship, and we tried to get over it. In that moment though, it truly broke something inside of me. My self image was destroyed - in which this relationship made my confidence sky rocket - and I felt incredibly small as a woman. Why would I have any value when he could just look at someone probably much hotter or his type online? It wrecked me.

A month later I found more. Turned out it was much more than only 5 times. He tried to say how he “didn’t know how it was seen and saved in his history” (he had the video saved on Reddit to look at again) and it turned into screaming in the dorm. Almost 10 months post-breakup and I should’ve ended things then, but I felt so determined to prove that I was worth it and that my parents weren’t right.

This is something I haven’t shared with anyone but my best friend and am still debating telling my therapist, but some sense of anonymity makes me feel compelled to share here. The following week he pressured me into sex. He rolled over and fell asleep and I stared out the window until 7am when I got up and showered. I felt disgusting and worthless. It genuinely felt like I was a bag of bones to be used and discarded by him whenever he felt like it.

A few months later, the night after Valentine’s Day, I found more as we were scrolling together on his feed. I still for some reason tried to make it work. At that point I tried to make him realize it was an addiction, because it had obviously become one. He deleted Reddit, so I was told, and claimed he hadn’t looked at it again.

That summer we were preparing to move into our first apartment together near our university. His mother and I started to have tension because she would input her opinion when it was not her business (for example she got mad at us because we went to a mattress store, and demanded we only buy a $200 one from Amazon which neither of us wanted). We went to buy a vintage dining table set which she was pissed about because she liked modern and minimalist aesthetic for furniture. She tried to destroy it by “cleaning” it and I had to haphazardly stack it all in my small car to take to my parents house instead. Many other things that would make this post incredibly long.

One thing to note is that his mother would frequently make him feel bad if he wasn’t home every weekend to help his dad. We were not allowed to hang out most weekends except for very beginning of relationship and she would guilt him. Also told him that I would ruin his life because I was tying him down and he needed to be able to get a job post graduation instead of staying with me for ONE SEMESTER while I finished my degree.

By the week before our move-in, it amped up. I felt incredibly resentful toward him, kept seeing signs pointing toward where I should’ve moved a year before with family, and started to feel like he owed it to me to not be constantly fighting me on everything. His mom bought us a mattress cover which was literally for elderly people (she was obsessed with our bedroom idk) that the entire mattress slid into and was zipped up. When I had said no way I was sleeping on that, they both got pissed. Day of move in nobody would speak, tensions were high. Day was already planned with dinner and everything in mind, in which his mother was rushing to get back home, and caused her to say something very nasty to me which I did not respond well too. The next day him and I spoke on the phone which he broke up with me, and admitted he wasn’t ready for commitment (we had been dating for almost 2 years).

The following week he texted which led to a two month run around of him saying he wanted to fix things, was going to talk to his parents, missed me, loved me, just for in the end him to stand me up when I went to campus and block me on everything.

Following the initial breakup, he took the apartment (which I had done all of the research, signing, and communication for) and refused to let me stay until I had found a different place. Due to the nature of that town, last minute apartments were incredibly expensive for a single bedroom and I could not afford it. I was forced to take a temporary leave and move back home, and transfer online for my last two semesters. I recently found out that he didn’t even keep the apartment, and moved back onto campus.

I feel like this relationship forced me to learn hard lessons, but also traumatized me deeply. I still feel incredibly low self worth, and am terrified of a future relationship where a guy pretends he hates porn just to actually have been watching it the whole time. Or leaves me on a Sunday afternoon like I’m nothing.

It’s almost been a year and I’m in a much better place than I was, but I’m still terrified. Can anyone relate or offer advice for not carrying these fears into new relationships? I thought we were going to be together forever, and maybe it’s naive, but he constantly spoke about engagement within the next year or two.

TLDR: traumatic two year breakup after I found out bf was watching porn and pressured me into sex. Never told his family and they acted like I was awful and ruining his life

hey guys so i wanted to ask for advice on jeans to wear for myself. i’ve always had such a difficult time finding jeans that don’t dig into my stomach and also aren’t too long. im 5’2 and my body shape is like a pear you could say? i have wide hips with a belly pooch so i typically fit in sizes 8-10 sometimes 12. i’ve always gone for high rise jeans since i like to keep my stomach tucked in but as of recent i can just not find jeans that don’t feel so damn suffocating. i just want to have stretch and feel confident in what i wear. idk if you guys have any advice or brand recommendations. to add to this im on a budget so i really cant spend a lot on jeans unfortunately because of my
circumstances.

My mom's ex-husband was extremely abusive and made her feel ugly and unloved in the past. Her current boyfriend makes her happy, or so she says. I'm happy for her despite hating the guy.

A while back, we were searching for something through his Facebook, and his main page was filled with curvy girls in bikinis. He freaked out and immediately logged off, asking me to use my own Facebook instead. I haven't told my mom about it because she claims to be happy with him.

I genuinely believe that all men cheat and I'm at peace with it, I use the fact that all the women in my family have been cheated on as the reason why I will never get married or date (I'm also asexual, but older people struggle to understand what that means). So, in short, my mom's boyfriend is always the one to bash and humiliate me for not wanting a family, and I bet that the next time we have this conversation, he will use himself as an example of a good and loyal partner. I want to remind him of the content he views on Facebook, since he seemed embarrassed by it in the past, but I'm afraid of doing it in the presence of my mother out of fear that it might ruin their 4+ year relationship.

I know this is low-hanging fruit. I'm just tired of not being treated seriously when I say I don't want kids when I'm almost 26.

What would you do in my place?

so 3 weeks ago i took off my hijab, did my story on here and surprisingly my dads reaction was very neutral. i went to Morocco 1 week before my parents. I now got to see them and he has seen me without it on obviously. the part which gets me confused is him telling me that i have to put the hijab on here and is even manipulating me with it. if i ask him to bring me somewhere he tells me he will if i put my hijab on, KNOWING that i didn’t bring a single one with me. so now im 3 days at home here and haven’t gone outside. if he goes outside he doesn’t say anything or ask me to come with. im really pissed offff and dont know what to do i hate this and im not gonna put it on

I've never really talked about this with anyone, not even family or friends, but here I am sharing it now since this question just haunts me.

This was a few months back when I was still dating them, I'd never kissed anyone and was very uncomfortable to do so. This was during a hangout over at one of our friends' houses. There were just the 4 of us. My best friend, her boyfriend (who I'm friends with), and me and my lover (used to be). We were all just chilling in her living room, me and my lover were sitting across from my best friend and her bf, all cuddled up and all. They were also cuddling and playing crk together, meanwhile I was just laying there. Than my lover (used to be) asked if they could kiss me (y'know​ like mouth to mouth shit) and I declined because I wasn't really that comfortable with kissing and I though that it's be the end of that and they'd back off or smth. But they didn't back off he kept begging and begging me and I declined multiple times. Also mind you, they've​ been doing this since near the start of the relationship and it was honestly starting to piss me off cause I've already told them I wasn't comfortable or not ready yet. I gave in once and allowed them since I just wanted them to stop and leave it at that, but even after that they pulled me closer and kissed me again and I tried to push them off. But they grabbed both my wrist and pinned me down on the couch we were cuddling on. I couldn't move and was just frozen in place and shook to my core. They were practically kissing me for 5-8 minutes at least and my friends just watched thinking it was so cute and I don't really blame them for this since they hadn't seen what happened and hadn't heard anything I said during that time being. When they finally pulled away they just acted like they hadn't done anything wrong and just casually talked to our friends.

I've only really thought about this question cuz S.A is usually based around like rape and all that.

Also, do you...ever get over it? Like does it stop at some point?

Thank you to those who've read this and I'm sorry for like venting, its just I really needed to let this out somewhere.

I read somewhere where someone said "self-confidence isnt sheer will power, but consistent success". That is only partially true.

Anyone, cavemen and cavewomen included, had the WILLPOWER to get off their ass and try something. So the next time I hear that self confidence is a built up thing ONLY, I'll think youre just fueling a bigger and bigger fire.

My boyfriend is the best man in the world. He loves me. He adores me. He knows what I want to hear. He very well knows the difference between when to give advice and went to listen and he never mansplain, It comes naturally to him and you know, what’s the best partner here, he thinks that all of it is very natural to him or all of it is very, very bare minimum, I mean the difference is that he did grew up with a very very loving family. So amazing. Just wanted to share my happiness with you that yes ladies there are amazing man out there.

I am 5'11 female , I really want to purchase good pair of denim from savana in mid or dark wash of my length . Can you guys help me 😭🙏🏻 if you find one then plz send link

Just find out my mom set up a blind date without me knowing. I felt a hunch and checked her phone, it was indeed she talked with her new friend about introducing her son to me. I thought it was just a normal breakfast. I know my dad is a pathological liar, now my mom may also be one. My mom was currently lied to by my aunt, so I was a bit wary of her new friend, so I checked her phone. It is disappointing. I don't know my situation is that severe. Like I can't trust anyone now. The feeling is horrible. I have to admit that I kinda like the guy I was introduced to, and he seems genuine, but I don't know if it's just another facade, like my cousin. Lying. I feel overwhelmed and a bit shocked tbh. Is this my theme? Is this a battle I always have to fight? What if I don't know these things and go with the guy, would I actually fall in the sweet trap that my mom and I used to fall in before with my aunt? I don't know if my dad knows about this because it's terrible that he didn't tell me anything about this or object this. I just feel terrible. I think I may have to refuse this if my mom brings this up again. I know she has good intentions but her execution is just bad. I just started trusting her again. But I think I can't now. And that is sad and lost. I'm afraid I may spiral into depression again. Just when I thought things are getting better. I was so exhausted so I don't want to fall into that situation again.

I noticed something about myself, every time I go out I scan if I see attractive men. I sign up for activities and wonder if Theres men or if they find me attractive. I used to be on tinder only for the male validation with no interest on going on dates. Hanging out with a man that I find attractive or getting male attention is like a drug to me. I’m disgusted by how my brain works . Why can’t I do things for me, to enjoy myself. Why am I so male centered and how do I stop. 😔🫩 I hate this

Ladies, what do you think about finding love in this era?

I'm asking as a 23-year-old woman who's been dating on and off for the past few months, trying to keep an open mind. What I've consistently come across is men wanting sex, many even saying they need it to "test compatibility.".

Then I open social media and watch those same conversations about women's body count, purity, and "value." Men shame women for something they actively participate in creating through the very dating culture they promote.

I don't understand it.

I have a soul. I have a mind. I have thoughts that keep me awake at night, goals I'm relentlessly working toward, hobbies, passions, fears, values. I'm an entire human being.

So why does it sometimes feel like all of that disappears the moment I'm seen as a potential partner?

"What do you bring to the table?".

I've always found that question strange.

What exactly are you bringing that I don't already have? I work. I cook for myself. I train. I have ambition. I enjoy learning. I love sitting with difficult questions and thinking about life. I'm building a life I'm proud of.

So why does it feel like my worth eventually gets reduced to whether I'll have sex or become a mother?

Dating has honestly changed the way I see men. I don't like admitting that, because I know it isn't fair to paint half the population with one brush. But experience shapes perception, and mine has left me struggling not to see men as primarily driven by lust.

For context, I've never had a situationship. Never had a one-night stand. Most of my dates didn't even make it past the first meeting.

Yet the amount of "So... are we ever gonna fuck?" texts after I politely held my boundaries was genuinely astonishing.

I'm not angry that men find women attractive. Attraction is human.

I guess I'm just disappointed that, so often, it feels like curiosity about who I am ends where access to my body begins.

At this point, I don't even know if I believe in love anymore.

I'm 45f, can't afford to see a doctor. It's so hard to sleep, I get so hot. My periods are so bad I feel like I can't leave the house for two days. And now noticing my hair is thinning (a lot!). I exercise and take vitamins. I don't smoke or drink alcohol. What else can I do without seeing a doctor?

I’ve worn a 32d for years. In middle school I was at least a c-d trying to fit into a-b cups because I had no clue how sizing worked. I have recurring back pain but I’m not sure if it’s related to my bra or not. I went to Victoria secret to get sized and they said I was a 32C, which is really odd because the 32C’s I own my chest is practically spilling out. I tried on some other bras and what fit most comfortable was a 34 DD. I’m so lost??? What am I supposed to be looking for in things like the coverage and such.

Hi girls, I want to start by saying that I am a 23 yo girl and I had my first time with my best friend.

The post will be divided into parts with different contexts, but you can really read what happened that day, in case there is a lot of text.

Trauma dumping:

I was sexually abused from the age of 5 until I was 13, as far as I remember, he never penetrated me, but he masturbated me and I felt pleasure.

Initially, I grew up feeling perhaps sexual attraction to other people, and we would even touch each other, but something happened that completely blocked me, and I never had a romantic relationship or felt attracted to anyone.

It happened that my male best friend, knows all this trauma about me. We've known each other for about 5 years, but we're not sexually attracted to each other.

What happened? It turns out that he had had female friends who had asked him to have their first time with them, because they felt comfortable with him and wanted to do it with someone they trusted. He accepted because it didn't bother him, and the fact that they asked him made him feel good, because of the trust they had in him.

Physically, I'm not attractive to him. At one point, he said I had a very childlike face. He said he'd feel like he was having sex with a little girl, and that disturbed him.

It happened that one day, while talking about my traumas, he had always had many doubts about whether my lack of libido was due to the trauma or if I was just naturally that way. But I told him about the fact that I was perhaps hypersexual as a child, He came to the conclusion that it is indeed a mental block.

I asked him, perhaps jokingly, but not entirely jokingly, if he could do the same for me as he did for his friends, helping them have their first time. He flatly refused.Until I told him about the hypothetical situation in which I wanted to change the memory of the trauma.He thought about it very seriously and said that in that case, he would do it.

First attempt:

We went out and got drunk. Since it was my first time drinking alcohol like that, he was looking out for me. But he hadn't expected me to get drunk, so he drank too.

We returned to his apartment in the early morning and he left me in bed and lay down with me as we always did, but what happened?

I started moaning and writhing, not from pleasure, but from the physical discomfort caused by the alcohol. Since they were unfiltered moans, they could easily be interpreted in other ways.His body also began to react; I hugged him tighter because I was feeling so fucking weird and indirectly began to rub against him. My memories are getting more fuzzy, but before anything else happened, it seems I mentioned something about the abuse I suffered as a child and asked him that If he wasn't going to abuse me too.

He got alarmed and stopped absolutely everything; that night I had like thousands of panic attacks.

We talked about it the next day, but...it made me realize the true extent of the damage the sexual abuse caused me.

Second attempt (It started very badly)

We went out again and drank again; this time I drank less than him. We went back to his apartment and slept together again. Just because I drank less doesn't mean I was in control of my body and...And the same thing happened as last time. But this time, I think the biggest problem was that he had opened that door in his head about the idea that if he had sex with me, it would be to help me.

He started taking off my clothes and his too, my body reacted but little by little my mind did too, I was in a debate where I wanted to but I didn't want to, that what was happening wasn't right.

I weakly told him no, when he tried to kiss me I pushed him away, there was a struggle until I finally said: Why are you doing this to me?

And that was like a bucket of cold water for him, and he reacted. He backed away; he was terrified. I was more aware than he was at that point, and I had to help him.

We stabilized, but I was in a very sensitive state, where I had already consciously thought about the idea of doing it with him to... to get that weight off my shoulders, to get rid of that taboo of having sex.

I went to take a shower and when I got out, I told him that I did want to do it.

And we did it but...I didn't feel any pleasure.

My first time (And the concern)

Well, in this part I will explain the issue that causes me anguish.

That first time it happened, it was very...meh. He really tried to do things for me, like go down on me, touch me and stuff. But honestly, I didn't feel like...wow.

There were only brief moments where I felt something that felt weird. It was a feeling like wanting to go to pee, but it lasted like a second. I cannot say that it felt good, but it wasn't bad.

But the thing is that I had this big problem, I realized that I automatically tried to find the same thing my abuser made me feel, and that felt really good. What I don't understand is why I couldn't feel that with my friend? I couldn't even come.

After it was over, I started crying, I went into the void and felt awful. He was really worried, but a few hours later I felt better and well, we decided to do it again, but this time without being drunk, fed and already very aware.

Same here, I felt nothing. But at least that time I didn't fall into the void and I was more concerned than... depressed.

But there was something I didn't understand, because right before we started with the explicit touches, I did feel a certain desire...but then it completely disappeared. We even did it again, although I didn't feel pleasure, but I did like doing it with him, like I enjoyed doing that activity with him, I feel like we were just playing or even watching a movie together, he told me that I had even gotten wetter and I moaned. But girl, I really didn't feel enough pleasure to make me come.

I don't know what's going on, is it me? Is it him? Is it because we don't feel attracted to eachother?

Hello,

I (f33) recently finally took the plunge and broke up with my partner of ten years. It was the right decision and something I thought long and hard about.

Even though I know I did the right thing, it just feels a bit awful. Almost all of my friends are either pregnant, have kids or are getting married.

I'm really genuinely happy for them, but it's also so tough to suddenly contemplate what on earth I'm going to do with my life. Up until about a year ago, I thought I was headed for marriage and or at least kids this year too.

Now, I'm single and terrified that I won't meet anyone or end up not having children etc. I keep trying to stop myself from thinking how did I get everything so wrong.

Those of you have been through this and came out on the other side, do you have any advice?

I'm less than two weeks post break-up, and it's rough.

I work in private hire/executive driving and I’ve noticed more women requesting female drivers, often for comfort or cultural reasons.

I’d really appreciate hearing from women directly — is this something you prefer, and in what situations does it matter most?