Okay so for some context I (21F) have been seeing my boyfriend (22M) for a little over a year now, he lives about an hour away from me and comes to see me like every other weekend when he can borrow the family car (he's a uni student and doesn't have his own yet). We've been going through a weird heatwave for a bit and it's just getting worse because now a good portion of Canada is on fire. He's started wearing basketball shorts when he comes here and we usually just hangout in my room but sometimes we're out in the rest of the house for all of 2 minutes, or just leaving. My mom started making really snarky comments about how he's dressed and stated she's uncomfortable seeing him dressed like that. Picture a guy in a t-shirt and basketball shorts that touch the knees, that's what he's dressed like, pretty normal for a heatwave I'd say. However she's never had a problem with me for example, wandering around the hose in a sports bra and boxers when it's hot out, my brother also wears boxers and no shirt as well, I've never noticed her having a problem with any of that. Now whenever she gets pissy with me she brings up my boyfriend and says literally anything she can think of, the shorts included, to piss me off. She's done this to me in my past relationships as well whether it was a girlfriend or boyfriend. I genuinely don't understand what her problem is but if I'm missing something someone please tell me because I feel like I'm going crazy, this shit is driving me nuts.

I just had a conversation with my mom that ended with me in tears.

To go back, my mom never really handled my emotions very well. Which I got yelled at for. And ever since then, I find it hard to contain my emotions around her. Which makes it very hard to have certain conversations with her because I know that if I can't regulate myself she'll go "blank slate" on me. She doesn't even have to yell at me, often times it's the tone that makes me stutter uncontrollably and I start shaking and crying.

The other thing is we don't have many "adult" conversations because I never felt like i was an adult in her presence. When it does happen, I'll admit, I don't know how to handle it. It seems like I'm an adult when it's necessary, but not when I'm talking to her about certain things.

So, I try not to cry in front of her because it goes into the same conversation: why is it that I (me) can be expressive with other people but not her. I explain why and she feels that it's my problem and not hers, goes into everything that she has done for me, among other things, and that all of this is because things are not going they way I (me) wants them to go. Mind you this is all because of her tone of voice, not the conversation itself. I try to explain the best way I can and she gets defensive, bringing up all the things she's made possible for me, and say," I know there's a 'but' coming..." and I said I had nothing else to add because you would be calling me ungrateful if I did (which is what she had done in the past). I literally reverted into a child in this who conversation, on my knees and everything.

So, in the beginning of all of this, I asked that we continue the conversation later because I know that I'm going to be emotional. She doesn't like it, and preceded anyway. She doesn't like when I want to take a break, but will shut me down while I'm struggling to get my words out. All the whole being told that something is wrong with me and she won't be blamed for it.

Just wanted to get this out there because I have no one to talk to about this.

I’m at my wits end. I have never had a good relationship with my parents. I’ve tried gray rocking but I am incapable of fawning or even keeping my mouth shut. I get so fucking angry at the audacity of my mother to be the world’s most narcissistic asshole.

I feel like we need a therapist/mediator just to talk. On both sides, it just seems that intention and action get twisted at every turn and we are incapable of apologizing where either party feels they’ve actually been wrong by the other. Recently, we can’t even have a conversation without me screaming “listen to me” and her just screaming about how horrible I am. We’re currently at the “don’t call me mom” phase.

My mom swooped in a month ago after almost a year of fucking off from her life and my dads—she said she was gonna help but has twisted that access to me to continue to hurt/control me in any way she can. I’m so fucking tired and I don’t know what to do. I want to want her help and I want to be able to accept it as well but it just feels like she can’t even do anything nice without being a massive c*** about it. I don’t know what to do.

I posted this also on other sub but didn’t get almost any responses so I’m posting it also here because i would really appreciate some feedback.

English is not my first language, so sorry but I can be not good at sexual vocabulary, I hope you’ll understand what i mean tho.
My father is a narcissist and my mother is enabler. They always hated each other, always arguing but my mother acts like an obedient dog of my father at the same time. It kinda changed for a while when i was in my early teens.

- my father started talking about „marriage responsibilities” (sex) to my mother not paying attention that I can hear everything

- I had my room next to the salon which they slept in and they started to fuck in the morning when I could hear my mother being load. It happened few times, i was very scared and when i only heard their bed cracking I was shouting because i was always so terrified I would have to hear their moaning once again. Then my mother was laughing and yelling my father „hey, dad, don’t move because your daughter doesn’t let you”.

- in the evening she would jerk him off very often, with wide open door, while them watching tv, under the blanket. Even if I came in they were so „focused”, they didn’t stop, they seemed not to even see me or they didn’t stop, because they liked the fact that i saw it, idk

- when I was about 8yo and i was laying next to them when we were watching tv, i lifted the blanket up for a moment and then I saw that my father was touching my mother’s p*ssy under her pijama. I was so disgusted that i started crying and went back to my room. I couldn’t cope with this feeling, next days I was asking my friend if we can do sleepover.
My parents acted like nothing happened and it was normal.

- i always felt my fathers eyes on my butt, so i always tried to not walk in front of him with my back towards him. when i was in my twenties i told this to my mother and she was like „omg what are you talking about, if you want i will ask him if he’s looking”. wtf

- when I was a kid, someone told my some sexual joke and it made me laugh because i didn’t find it to be funny „dirty”. Then when i came back home i told this joke to my father and he asked me to repeat this joke over and over again and he was laughing like it somewhat sexually aroused him.

- when i was a teen i had really nice body, especially big butt and when I was out with my mother and we passed by some old, disgusting guys that were looking and my butt, my mother seemed to be very happy about this and she was always telling me „omg [my name], all men are looking at your butt because it is so nice”. for me it was disgusting that 70yo gross guys were looking at me.

Now i’m in my mid twenties, very sensitive to sexual topics, completely ruined. There were more situations like those i described above but I have to finish it now as it made me feel nauseous when i was describing it. I hope it’s easy to understand what i wrote. i never told this to anyone, even to my therapists, but i finally needed to get it off my chest. thanks for reading. sorry if it’s chaos but i don’t want to read it once again.

I’m a 33 y/o American female with zero cultural norms or expectations that would explain their expected control.

I called off an engagement a few years ago (that I’ve not once regretted, I would already be divorced), and they were so disappointed in me for not setting for a man that treated me well and could financially take care of me. I make $200k a year so that felt really irrelevant to me. I still have a screenshot of a text that says, word for word (and note, I'm not religious):

"I love you and I'm praying for you. I'm asking you to pray that your mind will clear and you can make a good decision. I always support you, you are special to me. Marriage and life is so full of compromises, I'm afraid you won't find the perfect mate. I feel NAME has made so many changes for you. There are so many things that can change over the years. I'm not sure you will find another man like NAME does. You know we often say hurtful things to those we love the most. I think it would be good to see someone to help you resolve conflicts. You are always my first concern."

First, the changes he made was not drinking so much. He would get hammered. This also sounds like we argued a lot. We didn't.. we just had different lifestyles. He liked to go out and party and I didn't. Our lifestyles didn't cause tension, I just wasn't down for it and didn't want to spend my weekends away from my partner because he's out at the bars.

Anything I do is met with disappointment. I should be experiencing being married, and having kids, and I’m missing out on everything in their opinion.

I’m a 33 year old woman. I’m not asking for permission. I also handle these conversations really delicately bc I know what’s coming. And sometimes, I have to just not tell them things. I went to Africa with my boyfriend for two weeks and didn’t tell them because I just. didn’t. want. to. hear. it.

They seem to have no interest in understanding that my biggest life goal is not to be married and have kids. It is to enjoy my life, learn who I am, experience things, find the right person, whenever that happens to be, and be happy.

I’ve literally told them so many times “I’m happy, I realize it’s not your perfect scenario for me but I'M happy and I’d love if you could just be supportive” and they tell me I'm missing out on the best parts of life.

It's everything. I tell them I went for a run this morning. "I really wish you wouldn't do that alone, NAME". I'm going skiing this weekend. "are you going by yourself? I really wish you wouldn't do that, NAME."

It's so unbelievably suffocating. If I'm going on a trip, it's "well when are you going to make the time to come here?". (note, it's a 3 hour plane ride, a 5 hour drive, a rental car, and a hotel room 45 min away, to sit in a house in the southern heat no with no AC, so a lot of time and money to spend on a horrible trip. I can go to europe for a week cheaper).

Unbelievably suffocating. I've gotten to where I just don't tell them things, and that backfired too. We just want to know what's going on in your life. I just want to hear from you. I want to know what you're doing, it makes me feel good. I literally can't win.

So then I lied and dulled down what I was doing, but I hate lying, and I was mixing up stories and details. Which "friend" I did something with, etc.

The other aspect is, they expect me to go see them. One of them does often want to come and visit, but they're really too old to travel, and they want me to pay for it. They are truly poor, and I wouldn't mind at all, but they're so depressing to be around and all of the above it constant and it's just a bad time for me. I have a hard time paying so much money for something that I dread and leaves me drained.

I also have to be the one to call. When I don't, I feel like I'm in trouble. Why haven't we heard from you???? You don't want to talk to me. I tell them, you are free and have the ability to call me as well, anytime. It's my responsibility to carry the communication, but again, it's worse if I don't.

I've tried expressing to them my feelings and thoughts and it makes no difference. Has anyone experienced something similar? Besides no contact, what have you done to make this better?

Me 23(F) have extreme period pains to the point I cry myself to sleep, I can't easily take medicine for the pain, because I have an allergy to a certain type of pain medication, now I have a sister and fortunately for her her periods arents painful like mine, but whenever I barely get out of bed because of the pain my face literally having tear streaks my mother tells me I'm overreacting, and compares me to my sister, from the periods pains to the brushing of my pain and saying I'm overreacting, to my stepfather butting in and also say I'm overreacting, I don't know wether to cry, scream, or be angry, maybe all of the above, I hate my life.

The first thing he did today when I saw him? Shouted at me for not answering one of his text messages (one message immediately after threatened to not get me food...I'm 17).

All he does is barge into my room to ruin my fun, bother me, or shout at me for something trivial. One day he says that I'm an adult and can make my own choises as he has no control over me, the next he will threaten to take your bicycle away because you dont lock it (ah yes, as if only locking the fucking wheel is going to deter anyone capable of lifting 30lbs). He wont take critisism/negative comments about him (such as, "please take a shower" or "dont get shitfaced today pls") and never wants to be the one in the wrong.

His huge fucking victim complex leads him to blame everyone but himself (such as when he himself ran his car battery dry, and blamed my grandparents who let him use the car for only gas money, and then blamed me for taking "his spare bike" that his morbidly obese self can't even fucking ride, and has not ridden in several years).

I'm slowly going crazy and relapsing in several of my bad habits because this shit genuinely gets on my mental health a lot and I cant even do anything.

I can't even properly convey how infuriating it is to deal with him because he has the intelligence of an LLM hallucinating and making shit up with confidence. No dad, there is no goddamn dark side to programming, that's called a crime here. Especially when he gets drunk, his reality is the defacto truth just because him accepting being wrong is genuinely rare like a millionare shitting a diamond on your hand.

Not to mention the comments. Young girls, older women, anyone good looking enough, gets a perverted comment from him. His phone BG is ai generated porn, just straihgt porn, and that side of his does bleed into real life and it's fucking terrible.

Every time he comes home or leaves his room me and my sister genuinely scatter like fucking bugs because us whispering and laughing quietly = fucking, apparently.

Good lord sometimes I wish I was born with chill parents who actually had stable relationships and didn't have a shitty, narcissistic and controlling personality.

Sorry I subjected you to this complaint rant thing and my horrible use of all letters A-Z.

I'm making a list of things that I should bring with me and I don't want to forget anything. Any ideas? I can't make mistakes since I'm going no contact.

My rooms sometimes gets messy when I’m busy or rushing out. By messy I mean just unorganized, my rooms never dirty. However if anything is left on my bed or my floor, my mom will threaten to throw it all out if I don’t clean it up within a few seconds. Often it might be right after a long day (which causes the mess) and I really would rather clean up the next day instead of stuff the mess elsewhere.

I might understand if I’m cluttering the rest of the house but it’s just my own room and my mom’s closet is very unorganized as well and it’s where she hides all her clutter. I’m not sure why I’m the one getting criticized especially when it’s my room, no one else is seeing it! Not sure how she expects me to keep my room clean when I grew up with her leaving everything messy until guests showed up.

I’m not going to get into my family dynamic right now but right now I’m so overwhelmed. I recently learned that my dad doesn’t respect women and that he has a disgusting creepy side that he directed at me once. Ive told some friends and those in my immediate family and my mom, being useless as always, just said to basically ignore it. I hate being a young adult and having shit parents…well, realizing that they are not only crappy parents but lowkey shit people too! They are SO emotionally neglectful. I’ve dealt with countless traumas alone because of their fucking incompetence. GAWD I HATE THEM. idk maybe I’m mostly mad, but they genuinely have done so many wrong things and never ducking take accountability. Sometimes I HATE them for it. Lately my feelings have been scaring me because I used to love them and have a good relationship with both of them and now I’m wishing they don’t even exist…or didn’t make me at all. I just don’t know yall.

My mom (F54) and I (F21) have had issues for as long as I can remember. We just had an argument over the most absurdly trivial thing that I’m starting to think I am the problem.

For context, she returned some item she bought at a goodwill in colorado for $8. She got $8 in colorado goodwill credit. I live in colorado, she does not. She was visiting me and decided to go shopping.

This was last year. She had verbalized to me “I really want to give you this coupon so you can buy something at goodwill but I’m scared you will lose it. I’m debating just keeping it but I don’t know the next time I’ll be in colorado, so it’s better off in your hands”. To this, I said do whatever you want with it but I don’t see why you can’t just give it to me. It’s a coupon for $8 like I’ll just keep it in my wallet. I’m known to lose things so I guess maybe she wasn’t insane for saying that.

She’s been on and off about this stupid goodwill coupon for a YEAR and always mentioning it when I come home to visit her. In May , she brought it up again and finally decided to just give it to me because the letters had damn near rubbed off the receipt because it was so old.

I forgot to take it back and I’m now back home visiting her and she proceeded to yell at me about how I didn’t even take the coupon I “wanted so badly”. I said you were on the fence about a stupid $8 coupon for a YEAR so sorry I didn’t think to take it when I went back to co. She goes “well then you didn’t even want it then if you didn’t think to take it” and I started getting angry and I yelled and said “this argument is over $8 get over it I’ll just take it this time when I go back”.

This is when she actually sent me over the edge. She goes “oh then if it’s only $8, why did you want it for so long? It’s just over $8, so get over it”. I went “omg I don’t even want it anymore”, to which she says “well if you never wanted it then I would have used it when I was there in May but you expressed that you wanted it”

Like omfg am I crazy or is this an absolute insane thing to get angry at me about?? Am I careless for not just grabbing the coupon or is she making a huge thing out of nothing??

hello im 18F n currently in a dilemma. i booked a trip to barca with my friends without telling my parents before exams hoping my strict muslim parents would ease up a bit in the run up to the trip, after exams, but since summer has started, its like theyve gone miles worse.

everytime ive gone out for my own sanity with my friends, ive had to pay for with my mental health; they demean my friends, my clothing, where i go what time i come back, n its like yelling before i leave and even after i leave. uni still isnt till ab 2 months. id say this is my fav summer since ive tried my best to zone out my parents n stilll go out regardless but it gets exhausting to the point i dont even try sometimes to go out. the arguments alwyas hit the wall of 'but you dont pray/read quran/wear hijab' etc

now for the trip which is literally in 2 weeks, i havent even bought up. most me and my friend have concocted is a lie ab a work experience thing away from home which would be beneficial for my cv or smt at another place instead of spain, but even that i cant guarantee theyd say yes to. what should i do? should i j take the hit of the trip money n disappoint my friends (its one of their birthdays too :(()? or should i go ahead w the lie n keep it up for the lenght of the trip n give it a try?

My parents along with the rest of my family has mentally and emotionally abusive to the point of making me insanely anger and thus has secretly record audio and possibly.

They monitor everything I do online even this very post.

They know every time I make a post talking about my issues. They get a bunch of their goon clowns to go in the comments and try to twist what I say to the conclusion of either: 1) It's my fault for my situation; 2) I'm making it up.

They ruined my reputation locally through reactive abuse. Mentally and emotionally torment me to the point of extreme anger.

They steal away my art, stories, and game ideas and given them away.

And before anyone ask about proof: they make sure I know without leaving any real evidence so they can always deny it if directly asked about it. They, use phrases and words that if you are not the intended person, you it can be sweepted away.

And their clown followers, always say "just move away" dispute the issues is I have no money for one major reason is that since they monitor me, they call ahead to job interviews and sabotage any chances at getting hired.

So, basically I will have to be homeless. And my parents say, "oh, you don't have to leave and be homeless."

So, their followers say I should move. And they say I don't have to.

Their reasoning for not wanting me to move away so I can forever be public enemy #1.

I came across a phrase a long time ago that I think about in this situation: There is two ways to throw someone out: one, by simply throwing them out; 2) by making a situation so hostile and abusive that they leave. All the while they get to keep the kind people image by saying, I don't have to leave.

Also, their clown followers want to treat me like I'm the bad guy but, I am alone, being attacked and harassed by everyone around.

How can I be the bully when they're all ganging up on me.

And they mentally and emotionally abuse me to the point of extreme anger only so they can record these things so they can say things like: oh, see, he is angry and crazy and a badguy.

I am a good guy.

Everyone is not perfect

My dad arm robbed people in his 20s and he get redemption

My Mom hanged around extremely bad drug dealers. She gets a redemption

My brother, with his friend, arm robbed 3 churches. He gets redemption

And hit our pregnant sister on the back of the neck with a wood baton causing her to fall to the floor. And put in danger her son who now idolize him, not being told how close to NOT EXISTING because of him.

But because he saw me arguing with his mother. I'm the bad guy?

I never hit a pregnant woman.

My sister, the one just mentioned, drink and drive, dispite our other sister passing away because of a drunk driver And she attacks her bf with a knife. And she gets redemption?

Our oldest sister, tried to attack our mother with a pair of sissiors, and I protected our mother. And she gets redemption.

Also, our mother, dispite my sister attacking her, she still sides with her on everything.

Actually, there was another time where I actually protected our sister(the one who was hit on the back of the neck by our brother) in another time from our brother.

But me and my sister had a falling out because she fraudulently opened 4 credit cards in my name.

And I got mad, especially because I was already stressed out from actively at that moment, dealing with our brother, so I told her she was going to go to jail.

But I never had her arrested. But that was used against me. My mother yelled at me for saying that but not yell at my sister who opened 4 credit cards in my name.

But I don't get sympathy for already being in a stressful situation with our brother. And I wasn't being serious.

And you know how I found out that she opened 4 credit cards?

The credit card companies called me. Because my sister wasn't paying the balance. That is completely on her. If she was paying the balance, I would have never known about the cards.

And I never sent her to jail. But that doesn't stop her from lying about me. Ruining my reputation. Lying to cops about me. Trying to get me arrested.

You know what I think: they're jealous.

All of them are a criminal in some kind of way. I have never broke the law. Never did drugs.

It's a criminal family hating on the single good member of the family.

I have a lot of students loan to pay off. I actually had a chance to pay off all of my debt. But my family needed money. So once they used me up, they no longer needed me.

But now, they don't want me to have any kind of success ever again.

But can I ask a question?

I'm not perfect. I do have anger issues, but if they get redemption for all of their crimes and bad things.

Don't I deserve redemption for being an angry jerk?

Also I want to state: to any of the clowns that my family has kissing their boots, I never talked about my family behind their backs which I retrospect, was not a good idea, because while I kept quiet and polite and kind, they were painting me as a horrible monster.

Which I don't understand really. If I went around talking bad about my family, everyone would saw me as a jerk. In the manner of what type of dirtbag talks behind their family backs.

But that never happens to them. Everyone actually believe them.

Well, I will say one person did later apologize for believing their bs about me. Which was nice.

And that was mainly because that woman was one of my brother's gf. And he cheated on her. So it was more she was wronged by my brother and less that she saw through his bs .

Now to make sure that doesn't happen again. They make fake recording of me yelling with AI generators.

Anyone who knows me know I do have a bit of anger but not to the level they are trying to portrayed.

They say I was nice when I had money. Now that I don't, I m the bad guy.

Also, my brother slammed me down on the floor, breaking my shoulder scapula.

My sister (the sister who opened 4 credit cards, has been calling me a re...t...a...r...d since I was 10.

Also people want to listen to my family especially my mother when they say I am crazy. But my mother actually spent time years ago in a mental asylum.

Also, to any of you who want to say, just move away, I attempted to do so before, and my mother texted me on my phone and said:

"If you don't come back, then I'm going to D3L3TE myself (but she said the actual k word)"

My dad doesn't like me a single bit. But when he learned about that, even he thought that was really screwed up.

And I am sure my family will send their t pathetic goon clown freaks morons to try and twist the situation. Try to create a situation about people I been around for decades and only a few years for them.

If someone wants to say I sound like a jerk. Yeah, after suffering a lot of bs. I'm not Jesus. If I'm trying to be helpful and those I helped turn on me. Yeah, that tends to make someone angry.

I'll know the infiltrators as the one who make idiotic claims with an odd amount of aggression.

Also, I have a right to vent and complain as well as anyone does. And this is about toxic family forum sections. So, yeah, this the proper forum category for this, you jerks

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EDIT:

In another post, I explain my position I am in and the horrible situation.

But the thing is this: I don't know what to do.

I'm an extremely sheltered person growing up. And long story short, I get a lot of anxiety and fear of moving out of my local area but that seems to be the only suggestion I get.

I'm not moving out of my area.

But as I explained in my previous post, I explained in details of how my toxic and evil family has made my life extremely uncomfortable.

They basically have everyone in my area against me. Also, I don't think moving out of the area would do anything at all.

I'm not a badguy but what do you do when you are being attacked and mentally and emotionally abused and in the chaos, basically handed these very evil people everything they need to make me look like a really horrible person.

But I don't know what to do because the Truth is the want to keep me isolated. Under their thumb forever.

A very big issue is I don't know who to trust or any real progress forward.

Plus, their audio recording of me can put me in jail that I know certainly my parents will if they haven't already give my toxic siblings all the things they need to really destroy my life.

I don't know what to do

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EDIT:

I feel because of my extremely sheltered up bringing, basically made me feel like I was the last person capable of moving away and restarting my life.

The truth is this: I'm not moving away but I also don't know how to regain a decent life here in my local area.

Basically, when someone says I should move away seems very cruel because I feel like I am being told to do something I know I cannot do.

I'm not trying to make it seem like my sheltered life as a crutch but even before they destroyed my life, I never had a great ability to make friends.

I feel like I am being asked to do the impossible.

They know I cannot move away. They didn't care to help me grow up more mentally and emotionally and maturity stable.

But now when they see me as an issue since I don't have any money to give them, they want me to do the thing they already KNOW I CANNOT DO!

Others do NOT KNOW how severely sheltered my growing was. How much damage was done. That's why everyone is telling me to move away because the know I cannot.

They know they have me in a situation where I can't do anything about it.

So, this embolden them to treat me badly because they know I cannot do anything but take it.

They destroyed my life decades ago but I just didn't know it until now.

So, I'm not moving away because it would basically be a death sentence for me.

Hi, this is my first time actually talking about this, but basically I'm 14. I have two older brothers, one is 17 and the other is 20. All of our birthdays are coming up soon, so they'll both be full adults. My mom is 44, and she isn't with my father anymore, so it's just us.

She works at a bar about 10 minutes away from our house. Apparently it's good money, but it's not like I know how much she makes. She works on weekends and one day during the week. She's really strict with me compared to how she treated my brothers. I basically have no social life because I don't have rides on the weekends, and she doesn't like me riding with friends or taking an Uber.

On the four days of the week she doesn't work, she'll usually sleep all day Monday and Thursday, then spend Tuesday and Friday at the bar. Or she'll go there every day of the week and stay out late, even on nights she has work the next day. I wouldn't care as much if I had a good home life.

I don't even have a bedroom. I sleep in the den while my brothers have their own rooms, and it's been like this since I was 9. The house is practically falling apart from Hurricane Milton. We have a cat that I take care of and a dog that my brothers are supposed to walk, but I end up doing it instead. Even if it's 11 p.m. and she's barking to go outside, they just stay in their rooms and ignore her. I can't, though, because I don't have a door to close so she can't come in. I have no privacy, and to make it worse, all the walls in my "room" have windows that face outside because it's actually a den.

So not only does my mom constantly go to the bar and come home drunk, but I'm left here to fend for myself. Most of the time my brothers leave me home alone while I have to do all the chores around the house. It just doesn't feel fair.

Every time I cry over little things, my mom tells me to stop being so sensitive and dramatic, but I can't help it. I feel so alone, and I can't even go out with friends. My father is another story, and honestly my whole middle school life my mom spent screaming at me. Even now, she still does.

I don't even know why I'm writing this. I kind of just realized I don't really have a point. I guess it just gets really frustrating when there are barely any groceries in the house or anything to even do and you're sitting there knowing your mom is at the bar.

I'm still struggling with my relationship with my mother. I'm 33 now and I have already forgiven lots of things but I always come back to the same, dark place because I let her too close or trust her with some things. It's complicated, really - she had me when she was very young, then my parents got divorced, it was really messy, she cheated on him and they fought a lot, when not directly, then through me. They still don't talk to each other. I'm really close to my dad, still, but with her it's a problem. I can't let go of the feeling that I don't really matter to her. She never asks me how I am. She always puts herself first. Even if she could help me, she chooses not to- saying it will make me stronger if I deal with things alone. She never once apologized to me for being abusive (physically and mentally) to me when I was younger. I ran away when I was 17 and didn't come back home because it was impossible to live with her being abusive, but she blames me for everything, saying I was a difficult teenager. Funny thing - my stepdad was actually the one who made her give up the physical abuse. She used to pull my hair, smack me in the face, scream at me like crazy. But after he came, it was sort of even shittier. He made nasty comments about my weight (although I really was never fat or anything, just not too skinny), about how the only skill I have is playing piano and if I ever gave that up I'd be a total loser, even though I was doing really well in school ... However, I fell apart a few years after that. Something broke inside me, I felt like I'm never gonna be loved and I've always had difficulty being close to someone. I thought I've gotten over the whole thing but recently she (yet again) offered me help where she could've just stayed silent, and she had of course let me down once more. How to stay on the safe side and not be pulled into this manipulative, toxic relationship again? How to stay away from your own mother? It really hurts being away from her, I don't know why, but on the other side I really can't take another dissapointment. Of course the whole story is longer but I would appreciate the helpful advice.

Hello! I just needed to rant. Advice and input is very welcome BUT its not my purpose of writing this. I just want to share my crazy ahh grandparents.

So, its the summer. It is hot. It has been in the nineties and high eighties. I would not complain if the house we were currently in had good air conditioning, but it does not. The AC is very poor, in fact, and only in the living room (??). It doesn't reach any other rooms, especially the bedrooms.

It is important to note that I am a bum (lol), that hangs around in my room all day. My room, and my mother's room, are both extremely hot because of this, no matter if we leave our doors open. She has to work nights, so she is trying to sleep in the day. It is only cold during the nights, so when shes sleeping, her room naturally gets warmer.

These fuckers dont care! They complain about keeping the fan on, keeping the AC on because its *too cold*. Who gives a shit? They have long sleeves and pants, by the way. They aren't cavemen. They have clothes. They arent physically deteriorated enough to struggle with them.

I have had to take away the AC remote and HIDE IT a few months ago because they kept turning it off while they eat (the dinner table is right in front of the AC unit...), because it is summer, and it. Is. Hot.​ Mind you, it is not that cold in the home, due to the aforementioned heat of summer in the United states comboed with the poor AC circulation. Trust, we are not frigid.

They keep turning off the fan whenever they eat now, because their food gets cold. They can just microwave it. We have a working microwave. It has BEEN operational ever since we purchased it, it is not lacking whatsoever. Do I have to repeat that they are physically able to walk themselves the short distance to the microwave and reheat their food if needed? Yeah.

I'm extremely concerned about getting heat stroke, either me or my mother. She is more passive about letting them do this, but I am not, because im annoyed and sensitive to heat due to a few medications. Technically she is too, but you get what I mean. We are at an exponentially higher risk of getting heatstroke, and I dont want to do that. It would be annoying.

I genuinely hate them so much. If they weren't paying rent there would be zero reason to have them around. Theyre rude to my mom, manipulative to her, and bitchy about having to pay rent (even though theyre living with us too...?). Theyre okay to me, but obviously that isn't making it any better. I wish it were just me and my mom together. I cant wait until I get my diploma, get a driver's license, and a job. Even just a job would be fine with me! I dont care, I dont want to be with them anymore. When they pass, I won't be mourning too hard. Hopefully they dont haunt us. It would be so lile them to be annoying from beyond the grave.

Tenho 18 anos e estou tentando sair de casa para sempre, mas cada passo parece uma guerra.

Hoje eu me arrumei o dia todo, juntei coragem para sair entregar currículos, é o jeito de juntar dinheiro para ir embora dessa cidade, para Porto Alegre, onde ninguém vai poder me invadir. Mas quando ela chegou (minha "mãe"), o medo me travou. Eu fiquei parado, com vontade de ir, mas sem conseguir cruzar a porta. Depois ela forçou a fechadura do meu quarto, entrou mesmo eu negando, fez todo o teatro dela e ainda diz que eu que a trato mal.

Ela acha que invadir, controlar e querer decidir tudo da minha vida é amor. E o pior de tudo: ela colocou aquele verme para morar aqui, o que foi embora só no começo do ano. Esse lugar ficou contaminado, sujo, nojento por causa disso. Ela invadiu a minha gaveta trancada, mexeu nas minhas coisas, e acha que tem esse direito. Não tem nenhum limite.

Hoje eu preciso passar álcool 70% em tudo o que toco, tenho repulsa até de usar o banheiro daqui, é um inferno viver sentindo que tudo está sujo, que não há um canto meu que não tenha sido tocado ou manchado por eles.

E os parentes quase todos acreditam nela, porque ela sabe contar a história do jeito que ela quer. Sou e vou ser praticamente sozinho, e mesmo assim viver sozinho é mil vezes melhor do que com essa "família" que tenho.

Eu achava que o problema era eu, que eu era fraco, que eu era o errado. Hoje eu vejo que o problema é esse lugar, essa pessoa que devia me proteger e só me prende, só traz gente que me machuca. Mesmo travado, mesmo com medo, mesmo sentindo nojo de tudo , eu não desisti de querer ser livre. Só queria que alguém entendesse que não é preguiça, não é ingratidão, não é ‘loucura’ minha: é só um filho tentando sobreviver e recuperar a própria vida.

F23 I'm on the phone 12/13 hours a day, doing nothing all day, scrolling through reels or watching videos or looking for useless things or playing games or whatever, and I find myself having done nothing all day.

I wake up and scroll right away for a few hours, getting up when I feel like my bladder is about to explode, then I have breakfast and scroll again.

And so it goes all day, doing nothing.

I'm tired, I can't live like this. These are my best years, when I'm young and I have to live and have fun and improve myself. Instead, I waste every second on my phone.

Now that it's summer, I'd thought about going to the gym before going back to school in September, because it's harder for me during school, but now in the summer I'm doing nothing, not dieting, not walking, not working out, nothing.

I don't like my body, and I don't comb my hair; it stays there for weeks until it gets all tangled up like a nest, and my parents force me to dress modestly.

I don't see myself as beautiful in the mirror, neither my body nor my clothes reflect me. I know I need to be independent and leave my parents' house to be more free, in fact, I'm working on it.

But now I look, I don't feel okay living like this. To go out with a boy, I have to be careful with my schedule and not stay out for more than two hours so as not to arouse suspicion, and when I go out, I'm careful to see if anyone sees me.

And I can't have social media, go out whenever I want, go out at night, have the basic freedoms that everyone has, like eating what I want since my mother closes the fridge, and let's not even talk about arguing and yelling about everything.

This summer, I'm not reviewing my studies, I'm not studying to get my driver's license, I'm not working part-time. I feel stuck, trapped, and exhausted.

I'm so tired of living like this, which I don't like at all. I don't have the mental energy to do anything, and my mother is a pain in the ass with this housework. She's never happy, and I have to do everything myself.

I feel like the little energy I had is gone. I don't have a gram left, and I find myself shaking my head and saying, "Oh well, I'm not doing anything anymore, it's fine like this," and so on. Every day, I can't do anything, not even skincare, anything. Understand?

I wish I could be transported back in time and be in the life I want to live without having to endure all this. ughff

Tw domestic abuse/drugs/suicidal thoughts/self harm

Hello, I feel that I have to talk to someone. Honestly, I just need to vent or be heard. I can’t talk to anyone I know in real life as I’m worried it will get reported and I’ll get in trouble. I’ve never made a Reddit post before so I’m sorry if it’s not good.

For context, I’m a girl and I have just turned 17. I have 1 brother who has just turned 9. I live with my mum and my step dad and I have since my brother was born. My parents constantly argue. Usually I’m at school every day so it’s not that bad but I’ve been on summer holidays so it’s just constant and I can’t handle it anymore. They constantly call each other horrible names (my mum calling him a pedophile, junkie, and a cheater etc/my step dad calling her a whore, slut, crazy etc). They get into arguments every day and sometimes it escalates to where they are throwing stuff and screaming at each other. Police have been called before but there have been times where my mum has tried to call the police and my step dad has broken her phone to stop her.

When they argue my step dad will corner my mum in whatever room they’re in and my mum will scream and throw things at him. I don’t know how often they do drugs but I know they both smoke weed and my step dad does cocaine. I think that this is one of the reasons they argue so much but I don’t know. They’ll usually have big fights at night or very early in the morning waking me and my brother up.

I think because I’m older now I have more awareness over the fact they’re both abusive towards each other and are on drugs but my brother is too young to understand. Whenever they argue he’ll jump in front of them crying and begging them to stop. I always get so overwhelmed I just hide in my room and leave them to it but my brother will try come into my room to hide. I get so frustrated because my parents will yell louder or something and my brother will try leave my room to try stop them and them and because I’m so overwhelmed I get angry at him. I feel so horrible thinking about it because he doesn’t understand why they’re fighting and he just wants parents that don’t fight and I yell at him for it. So now I don’t let him into my room because I know thwt I’m just going to upset him more. My brother used to get whole body rashes because of how much it would stress him out. I feel so guilty that I can’t protect him or put my own fear and anger aside to comfort him because he’s so young.

They argue about accusing each other of cheating. My mum will accuse him of cheating with women then he’ll call her a slut and it’s just horrible. I don’t know what to do. I remember once they were arguing and my step dad was saying my mum was a horrible mother because she was upsetting my brother and my mum started yelling how she never wanted him and how she only had him because my step dad made her. I’m so scared of the idea that my step dad coerced her or even more. A few weeks go I was on the couch eating something and my mum came downstairs with a duvet and pillow starting to get ready to sleep on the couch and I was confused because there hadn’t been any fighting but I didn’t say anything. Later my step dad sent downstairs and was getting mad at her asking her why she was sleeping there and they started fighting. My mum kept saying things like because he kept trying to touch her and she just wanted to sleep. I feel so sick thinking about it. I remember when I was younger they had been fighting about him taking intimate photos of her when she had told him she didn’t want to but I had convinced myself I was making it up or I was dramatising the story.

I have a few friends in real life but I can’t really talk to them bout this because I do think they’d tell a teacher at school or something. I have someone online but they’re an adult and when I try to talk to them they always downplay the situation that I’m literally experiencing. Whenever I have told them I would rather be dead than in this house they get very angry and tell me that I can’t say that because they can’t make sure I am okay (they live far). But then in the same breath will beg me to open up and tell me I can talk to them about anything. This makes me so angry because it’s just hypocritical but I don’t point it out because I’m scared they’ll stop talking to me.

Sometimes I want to talk to my mum but I just don’t know how. What am I meant to say. We don’t talk much because whenever she’s around my step dad is too and I hate him so much. I hate when my mum will tell me off for something but I can tell it’s actually my stepdad who is bothered. For example I’m not allowed to go downstairs at night because it wakes my stepdad up and he has sleep issues. But honestly I don’t care because i mean if he did less cocaine he’d probably sleep better. I hate how he’s constantly sniffling and moving around the house.

I want to talk to my mum maybe beg him to leave but honestly I don’t think she will. I’ve never really directly expressed how much I hate my stepdad and my mum doesn’t like talk to me much. If I do something bad the most she’ll do is message me telling me off or threatening to take my phone. I used to self harm when I was around 12 or 13 but the most she did was tell me if I kept doing it she’d have to put me in therapy. I kept doing it but she didn’t check to make sure I had actually stopped. When I was 15 I would steal alcohol from the cabinets and fill them back up with water. I’d literally go to school drunk and no one was noticing. I feel so dumb but I’m so unhappy and I don’t feel that I can properly express that to her. Like verbally. I constantly imagine hurting myself and my mum finding out leading to her having a big revelation of how unhappy I am and then she just leaves my stepdad dad but I know that’s not what happened. I imagine telling her I want to kill myself and that this will make her leave him but I know this will really hurt her as her dad committed and so did my aunt (her sister) in recent years. I don’t know how to talk to her and I feel so alone.

I imagine going into school and telling a teacher my parents are on drugs then me and my brother will just be taken away somewhere else. I know that it’s unrealistic that it’ll fix everything but I just want it all to stop. I also don’t want to get like police involved because if we’re put in like a foster home or sowntung I’ll only have to be there a year before I can just get a job and move out and my brother will have to be there for ten. I’m so selfish sometimes I don’t even care my brother will have to suffer because I can’t handle it. Sometimes I think that my brother would be better in a foster home than with my mum and step dad now.

It’s not even that I want to hurt myself or die I just wish my mum could see how unhappy I am and fix it. I think because I can’t express it verbally I’m trying to express it through my actions.

I’ve talked too much in this I really didn’t expect that and I didn’t expect how upset I’d get writing it. Anyways what do I do? How do I cope? Amy advice for anything please and sorry for spelling mistakes.

Early college?

I am a 14 year old american student, my parents are forcing me to go to an early college i really dont want to go to, the highschool i was supposed to go to is where my few friends are going, i have extreme social anxiety and not going to school with my friends combined with stepping into a high school wnvironment with the pressure of needing to have high academic succes really scares me.( for ref my parents get mad when i have anything but an A) does anyone know how i could respond to this, i feel hurt and everytime i think about it i get so angry at my parents and i feel like i will always hate them for this but i also want to have a stable relationship with them, i feel so confused.

F23, I can't afford professional therapy right now, unfortunately.

I don't know what's wrong with me. I can't do any of the things I want to do, and I find myself just scrolling through my phone all day and doing nothing.

But I want to do things. I've even planned all the things I want to do, but I can't get up to do them, and I make a thousand excuses and procrastinate.

I don't know what's wrong with me. I don't know if I'm depressed, but I almost never cry. I don't feel like dying. I don't feel hopeless.

So, I don't know if I'm burnout from something. I don't know if I have repressed childhood trauma. I don't know if I have anxiety. I don't know if it's because I don't live the way I'd like and have to pretend to be something I'm not with my parents, with whom I live and who I can't leave them for now.

When I was a child, my mother was incredibly strict. She scolded me for everything and beat me with her hands, a stick, large plastic, wooden, or iron spoons, shoes. Etc...

I also always had bedwetting until I was 18, and as a child until I was 12 or 13, I had nervous tics and OCD. They say they can be symptoms of trauma at home, or even that the child is neurodivergent. I don't know if that's true.

And I was also bullied and teased at school for my tics. Then, in middle school/high school, my mom was always checking my phone and chatting with friends.

So in the first year of high school, I didn't try at all. For me, school was a place where I could have fun and do my own thing without my mom bothering me. I'd post on Instagram, talk to boys, and wear girly makeup.

So, I failed my first year, then I had to repeat the year. In May, my mom found out I had Instagram and was talking to a boy, took my phone away, and beat me up; she took me out of school at 15.5. I was left without a phone, without friends, without school. My friends didn't talk to me like before, and I didn't have a phone or anything.

In the end, I took a professional course. After the course, they wouldn't let me work, get my driving license, or go out. They said, "You don't need it, we'll buy you everything" (which wasn't true). You're not capable of it, what do you think you can do? Blah, blah. Then my mother said, "You'd better learn to clean and cook so when you get married, you can do it." Better get married...

I stayed like that until I was 19, when she found out I had Instagram again and took away my phone. I became depressed, they prescribed me antidepressants. Then, after a few months, I gradually stopped because I had become apathetic, I didn't feel human.

I also had ED to lose weight. I did everything terribly. I wanted to lose weight, but I didn't feel motivated, so I'd eat, then I'd vomit, I'd cheat, I'd do a lot of cardio, randomly, I'd feel empty. Well, in the end, I quit and started gaining weight again.

Now I'm studying to get my high school diploma to have my independence and leave this house within 2/3 years which already seems too long to me but my mother continues to control everything in my life and I don't feel free

So these days I am asking up a little late because it's my summer vacation , so today my mom tried to wake me up at 10 am but I refused to wake up because I was still feeling sleepy but she tried more and more and eventually she got really really mad at me and started throwing things when I still didn't woke up she threw me a bag and some clothes and yelled me to leave the house and that they can live without me too (I am 16!!) then she started calling me names and started saying really hurtful things to me .

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Hello, I’m writing this message because a friend advised me to do so following my parents’ excessive behaviour. My parents (my mum and stepdad) forbid me from doing anything; I live entirely under their control. Recently, they took my iPhone away to make me switch to Android so they could impose parental controls on me, and they reset my iPhone and iPad so that I can’t use another device when the phone is locked. I don’t know what to do anymore; I simply feel misunderstood. I’ve tried talking to them about it, but it’s no use: they refuse to see things my way and never, ever question their own behaviour (even when their loved ones bring it up). I tell them how I’m feeling, but they ignore it. Unfortunately, this isn’t just about my phone, but everything I do on a daily basis. I’m regularly punished for trivial things, like forgetting to empty the dishwasher, and so on. I’m often called an idiot and subjected to all sorts of insults that you shouldn’t say to your children. From 6 pm onwards, I’m not allowed to stay in my room or go out. I don’t know what to do anymore; I’ve reached a point where I don’t feel at home