I started CBT last year and he introduced me to somatic work.

He told me that I was living in my head and that I needed to get into my body and feel again.

Sounded nice and I was quite excited.

Once we started, he'd keep asking me what I felt in my body, and I'd say that I don't feel anything but he'd keep continuing with that work.

Further when I wanted to talk about something like a past experience, hed tell me that I'm in my head again, or to focus on the body again.

Plus he was into the alpha male stuff so I felt afraid to ask him to change approaches in fear of him snapping at me.

Unfortunately cause of all of this, I became super obsessed with somatic work, and with staying out of my head. Lasted for a good 6 months, and once I quit it, it took me months to recover from all of that.

It was honestly awful, and I feel so sorry for myself.

It wasn't my fault, and I was just doing my best.

I dream of her every single night and think of her every few minutes every single day. My life is over and I‘m constantly contemplating suicide.

How do I stop being angry at her and wanting revenge? How do I stop being so fucking sad she didn’t actually care about me and abandoned me? How do I stop absurdly hoping she’ll finally reply to my email and take me seriously and apologize for the enormous harm this “treatment“ has caused in my life? How do I stop fantasizing about her?

I went into therapy with trauma and left with even worse trauma, to the point where I can now no longer function on even the most basic level. I’m in so much emotional pain I can barely stand up sometimes. I wish I could go back in time and erase what happened in this relationship. And I can’t bear the thought that she moved on so easily and put all the blame on me in the end.

My doctor was worried about me and had me try this "wise" 70 year old psychological analyst and she's already doing too much. It's messing with my sense of self. He advised me to see yet another therapist.

This is my 4th female therapist that I told about women bullying me since my teen years, and it didn't go well with them and even triggered them (I'm also a woman.) And at first she said that it's because I'm pretty and how there's scientific evidence that women can be absolutely mean to other women (I was so happy that she understood and didn't gaslight me into thinking that women don't bully other women and that adults don't bully and that me being PHYSICALLY BULLIED was just my PERCEPTION. Thats what the other therapists said.) But then she later told me that she's wondering if I'm the one looking for issues because I'm so used to my mother and sister bullying me. I told her no, I'm a little cautious but I'm not looking for anything or expecting anything. I genuinely want female friendships but I'm not surprised if someone bullies me. I could tell she didn't believe me because she brings this crap up EVERY session. Edit: Why do therapists always make us the problem?

Edit: I just remembered that she said that I take it so personally. All I did was tear up because I told her that women have been mean mugging me, calling me ugly to my face, throwing trash at me, going out of their way to make me feel small and say that I think I'm all that and that I'm giving nothing... FOR SIMPLY EXISTING. And her response is that I take it so personally??? Typing this out made me realize that therapy is absolutely awful. I'm tired of them messing with my psyche and my sense of self.

And when I said that my mother and sister are just like my bullies, she acted like that was some sort of eureka moments and repeated "just like my bullies... huh." Like, no duh... they ARE BULLIES. People who pick on others and try to bring harm to them ARE bullies.

There was this time when all I did was scrunch and sniffle my nose because I yawned through my nose instead of my mouth and it tickled. I literally moved my nose like a bunny. AND I KID YOU NOT, this woman freaked out a little and said "WHAT WAS THAT?? WHAT WAS THAT ABOUT? Why did you do that????" But like in an accusatory tone or like in a challenging way. I can't put my finger on it but it was like that. It's already hard to explain myself in general because I'm usually nervous when explaining myself and I do it very quickly because of C-PTSD so she probably didn't believe me. Either way, this woman was REACHING.

It sucks because I just started therapy with her and had about 3 or 4 sessions. She seemed like she understood me at first and seemed patient but I'm not liking where this is going. Or how every little thing is scrutinized and held under a microscope. I feel like I can't even scratch my head or release a silent burp or else she'll "draw connections."

What's even the goal of "therapy" anyway??? We're just sitting and talking and she's just making assumptions no matter how many times I tell her she's wrong. It's nice to know why I have depression and C-PTSD but all she's doing is making me question myself and acting like I'm a problem and looking for women to have issues with me, or like I must be making faces without knowing or that I'm accidently giving people the cold shoulder because I'm shy... when I'm not doing that at all. If anything I'm way too accommodating and VERY empathetic. Always smiling. I also remember her saying that I'm too complex. Just say that you don't understand and that you're wrong, DAMN!

I see plenty of people with minor issues, who eagerly latch onto a whole catalog of diagnostic labels, more attention than those with genuine, obvious problems who aren't keen on labeling themselves or taking a therapist's word as gospel.

I’ve noticed that many therapists get irritable with patients who have real problems and let the therapist know that their advice isn't working; furthermore, those with severe mental health issues are often shunned by psychologists who don't deem them suitable candidates for psychotherapy.

Conversely, those who are doing relatively well and play along with the therapist's approach receive much more benevolent treatment. Anyone who doesn't treat them like gods on earth, however, gets subtly ridiculed and met with irritability and unhelpfulness.

Basically, they want you to humor them, not actually solve your problems. They are incredibly egocentric, have superiority complexes, feel entitled to pass judgment on your life, and are arrogant enough to think they know better than you.

They don't really listen; they just pretend to.

I’m tired of seeing people who have friends, good jobs, good health, no financial worries, and perfectly normal childhoods and adolescences complaining about stress, anxiety, or non-existent depression, all while they’re out having fun every night, holding down steady jobs, enjoying a loving, supportive family, and living a carefree life.

Meanwhile, people struggling with drug addiction, those facing total social withdrawal and marginalization, people on the fringes of society at risk of homelessness, childhood abuse survivors, and car accident victims with permanent injuries, all individuals with limited ability to advocate for themselves and problems that are hard to overcome, are treated with disdain and looked down upon.

Those with genuine problems encounter assholes who antagonize them and make the situation worse. Yet, someone who has absolutely nothing wrong with them becomes the "model patient" and is treated with the utmost care.

There is no empathy in this system, only boundless egos and greed.

I've been in therapy for 2.5 years (it'll be 3 years in November) with a therapist that prides herself on her tough love rigid approach. But I don't think that every case should be a one size fits all. A good therapist should adapt, especially toward those who are more sensitive. I journal on my own and bring it to the office. I read some truly deep things and she just sits there. No feedback. Not even a "that must have been hard for you."

She always seems to find a way to shame me. It's terrible. If there are issues between us like if I speak up about something that bothered me, she doesn't attempt to fix things. She gets super defensive. I I do my best to repair any ruptures between us. Isn't that her job? She told me to always come to her if she says anything that bothers me. So I do, well not anymore. I can't handle her vulnerability or her defensiveness I guess.

She has moods so I never know who I will see when I go to the office. It is so unpredictable. She lets me know when she is burned out and acts irritated as if I contribute to her being stressed out.

Instead of listening and trying to understand me, she assumes the worst regarding my intentions. Having someone assume your motives, and painting me out to be calculating is so awful.

She'll say something like you just did that to get me to rescue you or to make me worry.

She's so off base that it's interesting to see what she'll come up with regarding my intentions.

She tells me not to assume and thats all she does. I am super weary. I feel sick before and after appointments. I can't talk to family about this.

My mental health is declining. I tape our sessions because I am in Idaho and it's allowed. I don't share it with anyone. I only did it to remember things, work on things, etc. (at the beginning during the honeymoon period).

I had to stop listening because I can't believe anyone would talk/treat me the way she does. Sometimes I re-listen and think well maybe it's me. It isn't.

She can be quite abusive at times. I'm not the type to report. I would never. I'm weary. Im holding onto hope that she'll be the person she was in the first few months. But that therapist is gone.

If I leave, I worry about things not ending good. I hate bad endings. So I keep trying to make things good between us so I can exit the therapy relationship. Anyone have advice for me or been in a similar situation? Sincerely, Insanity on the Idaho Couch

I was sent to a long-term treatment program in my early twenties. My family was told it would help me stabilize, become independent, and build resilience. Instead, I stayed for roughly nineteen months and came out feeling like a completely different person.

Before treatment, I had a real life. I was extremely social, had a huge circle of friends, a strong social media presence, momentum in music and film, and actual industry attention. I had been working toward a creative career since I was fourteen. I had songs reposted by major artists, film credits, people around me, confidence, visibility, and a real sense that I was close to becoming something.

When I got back, one of my closest friends described me as “skittish, avoidant, couldn’t hang out for more than five minutes, kept everyone at a distance.” That is exactly what happened. I isolated. I lost friendships. I lost momentum. I lost trust in people. I could not tolerate being around others the way I used to.

The program also destroyed my relationship with my parents. They believed the institution’s interpretation of me over my own account of what was happening. They accepted soft phrases like “self-reliance,” “resilience,” and “higher levels of care,” while I experienced those phrases as warnings that if I resisted, I could be sent somewhere even worse.

Now, even though I know my parents are intelligent, accomplished, complicated people who believed they were helping me, my mind instantly turns them into grotesque cartoon clowns. I picture them wearing bright red noses, enormous floppy shoes, oversized pants and tiny hats, wandering around bumping into walls while treatment executives calmly empty their pockets. I imagine them tripping over each other, walking into doors, nodding seriously at obvious manipulation, then congratulating themselves for making a “responsible decision.” Sometimes the image gets even more humiliating and absurd: two helpless boomer clowns stumbling through a circus, peeing on themselves while the people taking their money laugh behind the curtain.

I know that image is not the whole truth about them. It is what betrayal looks like inside my head. Contempt is easier than admitting how much I depended on them and how badly I needed them to see through what was happening. I used to trust their intelligence and judgment. Now part of me sees them as people who were manipulated at the exact moment I needed them to protect me.

My body changed too. Before treatment, I was considered unusually attractive and felt confident in how I looked. By the time I got out, I had gained weight, was constantly stressed, looked exhausted, and barely recognized myself. I am still good-looking now, but I have never felt that I returned to the level of confidence, health, physical presence, and camera-readiness I had before.

The worst part is that the damage kept compounding. I did things out of desperation after I got out that I regret. I was trying to regain connection, attention, control, and some version of the life I had lost. I take responsibility for those choices, but I also know they happened after a severe collapse in my functioning.

Sometimes my anger gets even uglier. I have heard rumors about the founder of the program using crack, driving luxury cars, and dating a woman half his age. I cannot verify any of that, and I am not presenting it as fact. But those rumors fuse with the image already stuck in my head: this man laughing all the way to the bank with my family’s money while we live with the damage. I picture him cruising around in some expensive car, living indulgently, completely untouched by what happened to the people whose families funded the program.

Meanwhile, I am left trying to rebuild my career, friendships, body, confidence, and relationship with my parents.

People talk about these programs like they build independence, accountability, and resilience. My experience was the opposite. I came out more afraid, more isolated, less functional, less trusting, less creative, and less connected to my family and friends.

I cannot prove exactly how successful I would have become if I had never been sent away. But I know I had momentum, relationships, confidence, public attention, and a future I was actively building. I also know that after treatment, those things were gone.

That is what people do not understand about the TTI. The harm is not always one dramatic incident. Sometimes it is watching your personality, career, body, relationships, confidence, and future slowly collapse, then being told the place that did it was helping you.

I’m 37, I have tried Dbt many times in my life but usually was too deregulated to be able to finish

currently I finished my first round and am starting second round but basically just going in circles. every week I meet with my therapist and we talk about a plan to use when I get upset but it never works and I genuinely feel I am unable to use dbt skills when I get really upset and she keeps saying “you can always choose to use skills no matter how bad you feel”

and I fundamentally disagree with that so I think I will quit Dbt. what should I do next?

Therapy feels like paying a doctor $1,500 to misdiagnose a bone infection then only to be told to "walk on one leg."

For me, going to therapy is like going to a doctor with a severe bone infection. But the doctor doesn't know you have an infection. Because you can't walk correctly, they just diagnose you with muscle fatigue.

So, they prescribe physical therapy. You do it for five months, and it costs you $500, but it doesn't work because the root issue is an infection.

Then, they decide to put your leg in a cast. Another five months, another $500. Still doesn't work.

After 10 months of failed treatments, the doctor diagnose you right ! It's a bone infection so he just tries to convince you to learn how to walk on one leg. That doesn't work because your job depends on walking on both legs , but you pay another $500 for that advice. After 15 months and $1,500 down the drain, you're still sick.

And the standard response from people when you point this out? "Just try another therapist. That one just wasn't a good fit for you."

This is my core problem with therapy. It’s such a new branch of medicine that it feels like trying to treat a wound in the Middle Ages.

The only difference is that modern therapy is ten times more expensive, and a cure is never guaranteed.

My father my sister and me everyone of us went to 3 different therapists and none was helped in any way

2 of them felt like the therapist just wanna pass the day and gave me medicine that cured my ocd but gave me self harm thoughts

And the last one just took the money and gave my father the medicine without him being even there

It left me permanently apathetic towards life. I still don't even know what I sat through.

Hello there! As many of you here in this subreddit, I was victim of abuse by therapists when I tried to approach my family issues, specifically my narcissistic parents. I was always trying to discuss how their behavior, values and double bind impaired my relationships as well as my capacity to make decisions. But my therapists always downplayed me, by sometimes debouching me, sometimes claiming that I should blindly obey my parents because “they just want the best for me”, or even doing another double bind by saying “Being this affected by your parents is ridiculous” and then “Don’t ever question what your parents say” (WTF?).

And then, earlier this year, Uta Frith started to express regret towards a concept created by herself: the autism spectrum. According to Frith, widening the autism diagnosis criteria made the diagnosis itself being very imprecise, to the point that it “collapsed”. And in further interviews she also claimed that many people (especially children) are being misdiagnosed with autism, when, in fact, their symptoms are caused/explained by other conditions or even that variants of normal behavior/personality are being wrongly pathologized. And even other scientists that also contributed to the autism spectrum concept’s creation expressed their regrets, like Catherine Lord. Also, some other highly respected specialists of the subject, such as Eric Fombonne, wrote review articles this year about how problematic the autism spectrum has became, citing some clinical researches showing that, among a good number of children with autism diagnosis, almost half of them weren’t autistic at all.

And all of that made think about one thing: is it possible that many mental health professionals are diagnosing their patients (children and adults) as autistic just because they don’t know or don’t want to approach their patients's family issues and traumas? Because there are many things that can impair a person’s social life and behavior, and not all of them have a psychiatric/neurological origin: it can be an external factor, such as the family dynamics, their culture, traumas… I think that a good example of that are the hikikomoris in Japan. And what’s even worse: that same person is trying to “get free” of such external factors to improve their life, but they are being downplayed by therapists and psychiatrists and receiving an autism diagnosis instead, which perpetuates their “symptoms” and impairments, and making their abusive families getting away with the bad things they have done.

I know that Uta Frith's claims were met with a huge controversy, specially among people diagnosed as autism level 1 of support, because many of them felt that their suffering was being downplayed by her. That’s not my intention here. My intention here is to analyze the possibility that like many therapists and psychiatrists are basically incapable of approaching family issues and resolving their consequences, they can use the autism spectrum (with its very wide range of symptoms) as an “excuse” to explain all their patients problems, instead of analyzing the real problem.

Do you think that’s a real possibility? Do you think it’s exaggerated and don’t agree with it? And were you diagnosed as autistic but didn’t agree with such diagnosis and felt it wasn’t exactly your problem?

Let your comments below!

All in accordance with professional standards, deletion of the recordings was a privacy law violation due to an outstanding request but still, the therapist is free to characterize myself and his own conduct as it suits him I have no recourse and I just have to accept that his bullshit gaslighting defensive narrative is the official narrative. It sucks and I’m much worse for it but that’s just what I get for seeking professional help, trusting somebody and paying out the ass for it I guess. Psychotherapy should be a fucking crime

I have pretty significant mental health issues, so logically I should be in therapy, which I am. But I honestly don’t think it really helps my mental health. I mainly use it to vent about things going on in my life, and this is pretty embarrassing, but I’m very reclusive and lonely so it gives me someone to talk to every week. My insurance is changing on August 1 and my current therapist does not take my new insurance. If I want to continue therapy I’ll have to find someone new, and I just don’t feel like I have the capacity to do that right now. I think I’m gonna take a break from therapy for a bit and see how I’m coping and go from there!

This is a very confusing and scary situasion for me, and I know it sounds like Im crazy, but I promise all of this is real, and I really need some advice.

I (f28) have talked to my therapist (f40) for 1 year. I have C-PTSD from growing up with a sosiopath mother invading my privacy in extreme ways. Today I struggle with being over-protective of my privacy, not letting others close to me and not trusting others intentions. This is something I have talked to my therapist about a lot.

The last year I have lived alone for the first time ever (I lived together with my bestfriend for 10 years). After moving for myself I started to struggle with living near neighbours because of my privacy, so I moved 3 times in one year. In 2 of the places there was a neighbour walking outside my window and looking in, all the time (this was triggering for me). During this I talked to my therapist, so she knows about all of this and every detail.

In my current home after moving 3 times ( lived here since february) I finally felt more safe, wich I told my therapist. Then again: after a while I heard walking outside my window every night. I have closed off curtains so everytime I open to check who it is, I hear someone running away. Then one day at 4 oclock in the morning, I heard foot-steps and opened the curtain to see a man at the lawn looking rigth at my window, running away when I saw him. It was winter and dark, so him wearing black sunglasses, a hat hiding his face, and all black oversized outfit, was weird to me. At the same time my therapist suddenly changed, and was being very diffrent. I asked her 3 times if she was mad at me or something, but she denied it.

My bestfriend and I have talked about everything here, and you can hear whats being said through the windows if you stand close enough. My therapist then started bringing up things I only had told my bf, in our sessions. I was very confused and honestly thought I was going crazy (told my therapist multiple times that I was sure I was in psycosis). Long story short: After 4 months of this confusion going on, her being weird and me thinking I was crazy I catched her outside my window eavesdropping in. She lives a 30 minutes drive from me, so its not natural.

The 1 time she stod 5m away "fixing her shoe" with her ear facing my window, when she noticed I had catched her, she ran away. The 2 time, she just stod still at the lawn looking another way, with her ears facing my window, and walking of when I catched her. The 3 time she was with a man (who looked exactly like the man standing at my lawn at the begining), with both of them looking rigth at my window and walking of fast looking stressed when I catched them.

The first times I thougth she maybe was taking a walk or something. Then when I saw the man, It all made sense to me, the reasons she knew so much about me and brought it up, was because she had heard it.

When I understood everything last week, I went to our session and told her to stay away from my home. She denied everything, but was obviously nervous and very stressed. I just feel like my trauma with trusting others now are so much worse, and my paranoia (wich had started to go down) has got much worse. I finally felt safe here, so why would she do this to me?
I cant stop wondering whats her reasons for doing this? And why bringing her husband? Does she want me to be paranoid and scare me? I was thinking about reporting her to someone, but I dont think they will take me seriously when she have a journal of me being paranoid, and she most likely knew this before doing it.

So...I'm on my..... 8th?9th? Therapist. Some of which I ended due to lackluster fit, etc. But the ones I felt a great connection ... Left the agency I was working with /got a case manager position. This one I've been seeing for about a year now.... Nothing has stood out much but I haven't been clicking. Last week my husband was in the hospital for 4 days had surgery after weeks of being weak and in pain therefore unable to do what he'd usually been doing..... , my house is disarray, my 7 year old is home for the summer, my work has been slammed.... And this therapist had the audacity to tell me that I'm too young to be tired. What the fuck. Idk why I'm even posting.

Took this relationship quiz, and a few questions really bothered me due to the values of hyperindividualistc therapy bullshit thats sprinkled in.

For example,

"If my partner tried to end the relationship, I would..."

- respect it, even if I am devastated

- try to talk them out of it once or twice

- beg, guilt trip, or threaten self-harm

- threaten them, follow them, or make leaving dangerous

I chose the second option. I see it as if the partner wants to leave the relationship, I would try to ask them whats wrong, if there is anything I can do. If they dont offer fixes or anything that i can do to fix any issue in the relationship, then I choose the first option.

But you know which option is "healthy". (Hint: the first one). That option just treats us as little individual drivers of a car on a highway, where we are independent little automotons that occasionally bump into each other. I feel so dehumanized reading that option and knowing that's the correct option, because we as humans are not supposed to be independent, but interdependent (even i question the definition of codependency because it encourages the same hyperinidivualistic toxic mindset I despise), and if there's issues then we should try to find solutions to those problems.

Another one is "My relationship with the truth with my partner is..."

- direct - I tell the truth with care

- mostly direct, with small occasional avoidance

- I shade the truth to avoid conflict or manage their reaction

- I omit important things, lie, or have had affairs I keep hidden.

I chose the second option, because with telling the truth you also have to consider their feelings (unless theyre being abusive towards you) come into play. You want to deliver it as constructive criticism because you should tell them the truth obviously but do it in a place where your partner isnt hurt but sees it as something they can fix.

And again you know what the right answer is. It treats people as automotons, things to be measured, where their worth can be measured against. It destroys any sort of humanity within ourselves.

Don't get me started on "anger issues". Anger is a valid emotion, yet it is painted as a "negative emotion", for example like making holes in the walls, yes that is violent but you have to consider WHY - could they be traumatized from their parents screaming at them? Could they be having reactions of being made fun of by their bullies??? Can they be reacting towards homophobia/racism/transphobia/etc?? Can they have had a traumatic past dealing with fleeing a country under siege????? Anger is just seen as a opaque benchmark, and the more you have the more you "have to be fixed".

Seriously this embrace of therapy culture in the US is sickening, its destroying relationships and is contributing to why we have the loneliness crisis, if not THE CAUSE of the crisis.

When you are processing trauma, abuse, or structural violence, the last thing you need is a self appointed auditor cross examining your lived experience. You don't "test" a person to see if they're "overreacting". You treat the wounds.

People who do/defend this behaviour are usually people who have never had their reality systematically denied by a power structure and the type of people who benefit from the system.

I have ADHD and I had just started my job. Both therapists I booked were telling me about love life or friendships and they didn't even bother helping me with setting up a schedule for balancing work, which I really needed.

One kept telling me about my ex although I hadn't seen him in 1 and a half year and the other one told me to make more friends, I live in a small city and he encouraged me to go to the nearby big city. I told him I need to focus on work and also write stuff for work and he told me to do it at a cafeteria there (while I have ADHD and get distracted). I work full time and overtimes. I am a young adult who has recently started working.

Has this ever happened to you? Where you needed help with something very specific but it wasn't provided?

What if the first time you finally asked for help because you were suicidal and desperate to stop drinking, you checked yourself into a psych hospital to stay alive...

...and instead of finding safety, one of the staff members pursued you?

He was charismatic, tattooed, confident, and made me believe he loved me. I thought I'd found someone who understood me. Instead, it became one of the most traumatic 9 month experiences of my life.

I've spent these 2 years wondering if I should finally pursue action against him and the facility. (He showed sexually explicit videos of me to coworkers, on the clock, without my knowledge or permission. It was reported by multiple coworkers, and nothing was done. Also finding out soon after he had been showing many women these videos in public settings—like NA meetings, for months without my knowledge)

If you found out this happened to someone you loved, would you encourage them to report it, even 2 years later? Why or why not?

I'm looking for honest opinions.

I've been having lots of flashbacks recently. I see the room, the shadows and the face of the the-rapist popping up and I remember so many of the lies, the coercive control, the manipulative behaviour and of course the total control and power they exhibit over you making you feel so diminished in personhood that you eventually filter yourself through their lense of you, you just stop existing. But what strucks me as the most insidious is how they refuse to believe victims, how they make abuse possible by blaming the victim, how they make you feel like you are defective and somehow responsible for the abuse, oh if only you were the perfect little robot the therapist wants to mould you into you wouldn't be having these pesky PTSD symptoms! I remember this one particular event where the therapist told me I needed to be MORE VULNERABLE WITH MY ABUSER. So I was, because I trusted them, with the end result that their grip tightened, thanks for that. Everytime I tried to bring up abuse I was told to get over it and it's in the past so their goal was just for me to not exhibit any trauma symptoms. I remember their cruelty and it sickens me to my core that their false reporting floats somewhere in my medical files, their abuse extending to a lifelong prison. I have never seen others so absolutely victim blaming people in my life than these people.

I’m starting to think it’s just the modern day version of confessions from the Catholic Church. You’re literally relying and depending on a person to give you the answers because they’re “professionals” like the title of father. The vulnerability risk is huge because therapists have all the power and knowledge and you’re literally just there giving them intimate details about your life and I feel like it just makes you be in a codependent relationship. I think we all just want empathy and understanding and to be heard and supported instead of being given a psycho analysis of what’s “supposedly” going on in our head. I fucking bet you that if therapists just listened and empathized 99% of our problems would be solved instead of being given a psycho analytical bullshit diagnosis. Fuck therapists, seriously. I’ve healed from so much damage done to my life from family and cult dysfunction in my entire life in 3 fucking months than in 6 years of going to these fucking bastards. Humans just want empathy and understanding, not your psycho analytical bullshit you got from a college phd. Plus, they’re professionals and not your friends, which makes the whole relationship feel transactional which is the opposite of empathy. A friend wouldn’t charge you for listening to you. Is there anywhere we can just let go of what we’re feeling instead of going to these bastards?

I genuinely want outside opinions because I don't know if my feelings are valid or if I'm just seeing this through my own hurt.

I've been seeing my therapist (associate therapist at a private practice) for quite a while. Overall, I trusted her a lot. Probably more than I've ever trusted anyone since my dad died several years ago.

On Wednesday, during therapy, I told her I was having suicidal thoughts. I mentioned that I had alcohol at home and had been thinking about buying pills. I never gave a timeframe, never said I was going to do it that day, and honestly I was hoping she'd ask me more questions about why I was feeling that way.

Instead, after the session ended, she apparently called the police for a welfare check.

Here's what she didn't know because she never called me:

• I went to my 3 p.m. orthodontist appointment.
• Around 4 p.m. my kickball game got canceled because of the air quality, so my team decided to meet at a bar instead for movie trivia.
• I went home, took care of my dogs, and left around 6:30.
• I had a genuinely great time with my friends.

I didn't look at my phone until around 8:30 p.m., and by then I had multiple missed calls from my sister and unknown numbers. My sister told me the police were looking for me.

I called the police back because I was confused. They told me to come to the station. I ended up being handcuffed and taken to the psych ER for evaluation.

The whole experience was incredibly traumatic for me. Being searched, having my clothes taken, sitting in a locked room for hours, losing my freedom...I honestly feel like I have PTSD from it.

The part I can't get past is this:

Why couldn't she have called me first?

If she had called me, she would have learned exactly where I was and what I was doing.

She would've found out I was with friends.

She would've found out I wasn't sitting alone drinking.

She would've found out I wasn't actively trying to end my life.

I know therapists have obligations when someone talks about suicide. I understand that. But I keep wondering if there was room for one more conversation before involving the police.

After I was discharged from the hospital on Friday, I emailed her explaining how hurt I was. I told her I wished she'd asked more probing questions and simply called me. I also said I didn't know what treatment looked like going forward, that I didn't trust therapists anymore, but maybe after some time I'd be open to working with her again.

Her response basically said she agreed terminating therapy was the most clinically appropriate decision, gave me a list of referrals, and wished me well.

The whole thing felt incredibly cold.

So I guess my questions are:

• Was my therapist justified in calling the police based on what I said?
• Should she have called or texted me first to better understand what was happening?
• Am I unreasonable for feeling like the therapeutic relationship ended in a way that lacked compassion?
• If you were in my shoes, would you ever trust that therapist again?

I'm honestly looking for honest opinions, including from therapists if there are any here. I know my emotions are probably influencing how I see this, and I'd like to hear perspectives I may be missing.

So someone who i cared a lot about died by suicide last summer. And the therapist was not helpful at all, she did not understand my feelings about him or grief. And i had undiagnosed OCD and that is what is fueling the grief because I kept wrestling with my feelings continuously. And then when I actually accepted my feelings, my therapist called me "obsessed, all encompassed, contain it." And then i spent the next 6 months ruminating on my own survivors guilt, which lead to me seeking out OCD diagnosis and treatment.

So i have finally found a therapist who specializes in OCD & trauma and got the diagnosis. And when I mentioned the survivors guilt, he was like, we shouldnt work on that, that is real pain. That is not irrational. BUT ITS LIKE IVE SPENT HUNDREDS OF HOURS ON CHATGPT TRYING TO SOLVE IT?
He recommended i see a grief therapist.
But its like.. OCD IS WHAT MADE MY GRIEF
COMPLICATED!??
Like..
Ocd is why i didnt realize I loved him before he died, because of my sexuality ocd.
OCD is why i didnt reach out him before he died because I was convinced that if I felt overwhelmed by him (which i did, i didnt understand my own feelings), I would retreat which would harm him.
OCD is why i couldnt accept my feelings about him because I thought that feeling attracted towards him would make me disrespectful.
After he died, I was also convinced that i would become psychotic or kill myself, that god would kill me for cursing at him - which again all ocd.

Ive tried 11 therapists. And it makes me so made that hes referring me to a grief therapist (we will still work together).
Its like every time I try a therapist, it never works out.
They say you need X. I go to get X, they say you need Y.
Because its like..
Is a grief therapist actually going to understand my grief? Because its not just grief and survivors guilt - ITS OCD, AUTISM, SEXUALITY, SEXUAL TRAUMA, etc.

Its crazy.
Like.
I saw trauma therapist and she yelled at me when I had a meltdown (because of undiagnosed autism)
So then I went inpatient.
They misdiagnosed with borderline.
The CBT therapist made my OCD worse.
I tot diagnosed with autism.
I went to an autism informed therapist, she pathologized my grief.
I went to a trauma therapist, she told me that "understanding my trauma wont help."
I went to another trauma therapist,
she just told me everything I already know.
And now Im going to an OCD specalist and hes saying I need grief work??

When they are sitting across from you interjecting "hmm" and "how did that make you feel" what they are really doing is reminding you of this very premise the entire time. That they are a super wise person, an outlier in society. Just for getting a degree - the whole premise is so openly illogical and narcissistic, it is mind-boggling that it appeals to anyone with basic decency and of sound mind at all.

I’m in a bit of a tough spot debating whether some of the things that have gone on over the past 1.5 yrs with my therapist of 6 yrs were ok or not

Basically she cancelled over 17 times (usually with notice I’ll give her that) throughout 2025 right after promising more support. one of the reasons for her cancelling was to get EMDR training at the beginning of 2025, which is something she said could be helpful for me. I have been wanting to do EMDR and think it’ll help. It’s been over a year since she said that and we still haven’t started.

Her cancellation streak started at the end of 2024. The week after an emergency session, she cancelled once due to illness (no problem). But then she forgot to tell me when her holiday break was. That left me without support by complete surprise for almost 4 weeks while going through a severe period of depression. She gave me a return date that was later than what I’d initially been told. When I returned after break, she accidentally shortened that first session back and then cancelled the following week due to a training. Talk about whiplash. This all occurred after she urged me to go from biweekly to weekly due to the severity of my depressive episode. She literally offered more support then gave less.

Throughout 2025 she would briefly be consistent then cancel a couple weeks again, with an “oh yeah I’ll be out next week”. This happened about 17+ times. Sometimes she would offer an alternative date. Most of the time she would not.

It wasn’t until after I told her that I had an aborted suicide attempt during that holiday break, that her consistency started to improve. I told her 11 months after it had happened.

Still, the issue of how that whiplash period impacted me was never really addressed. She used to ask me how therapy was going for me but hasn’t in over 2 yrs. Not once did she apologize or ask how I was feeling about her being absent so often.

Prior to her inconsistency I was feeling increasingly open with her, and reaching out when things felt harder. Now I feel like I can’t rely on her when things are bad because of the fear of false hope or bothering her. Sometimes I wish I hadn’t been so open or trusted her promises of additional support in the first place.

Also, there was a mistake last summer when she switched her billing software. It accidentally left my diagnoses visible to my parents even though that’s something we agreed to keep hidden from them during my intake. I’m an adult but still under my parents insurance, and I’m in the process of going low contact with my parents for several reasons. My parents both have a lot of emotionally immature/narcissistic tendencies.

It wasn’t until my mom asked me why it said anorexia under my diagnoses that I realized what happened and I was so blind sighted. That’s something I’ve never told my parents for fear of their reactions, controlling behavior, and misunderstanding. My mom acted concerned, and thankfully she was kind. But being put on the spot, I lied and said it must have been a mistake. The billing got corrected quickly, but when I told my therapist that my mom saw it she was basically like “oh no I hoped they wouldn’t, I realized that and made sure it was fixed quickly, we can talk more about this next time.” We never did.

Earlier this summer, my therapist was urging me to seek treatment for my eating disorder. The problem is, I would have to loop in my parents because of my insurance. That would require me admitting I was dishonest, which is basically ammo for my parents. My therapist said she could even explain to them that is part of the illness. Still, I cannot guarantee it would be received well by my parents.

Also any opportunity to tell my parents about my eating disorder feels like it was taken from me because of that mistake. I have kept it hidden since it started when I was eleven. Back then, my parents had found my uneaten lunch after school, resulting in my dad throwing the uneaten food at me. I am now in my early twenties.

Idk what to do with all of this or how to even bring it up. I hate confrontation and it feels like her not realizing these things could impact me is part of the problem too. It also feels like so much of this happened so long ago, is it even worth trying to fix? The damage just feels kinda done.

I’ve kept going because she’s been there for so long and through so much, and there are still several ways in which she is helpful. Plus I don’t want to start all over.

I understand therapists are people too and need to practice self care to prevent burnout. But also I can’t help but wonder if her actions were entirely ethical throughout 2025.

Worst part is she knows my trauma history from my parents and from previous mental health practitioners, and how much these actions could retraumatize me.