The 3 years that I have been a dev I almost never did this, I am not an extrovert person and I had resigned my self that I was gonna be a dev forever, because talk to people is not my speciality. Im a very tech person, when I was a dev I didnt care about the user stories, I usually used to take the tech debt or tech stories, and Im not gonna lie, I was lazy. But keep updated with the latest technologies, patterns, frameworks updates was my passion, I always wanted to make changes on my teams project and someties I proposed cross-cutting solutions but nobody really give a damn.
This year the company posted a job for national tech lead (new position on the company with presence on the whole country with devs arround the states). I said "okay, I would like to see my level", you can imagine my surprise when I got selected. Honestly this is like a dream, and this promotion really got me. I could not believe what I was living, I could finally use the 100% from my capacity making PoCs, discovering new technolgies and implementing cross-project solutions, at least that was how I imagined the role.
Have been almost half year on the role and Im now exausted, not because of the hard work, because this is not what I thought, but dont get me wrong, I really like it, Im out of my confort zone, learning new things, new ways to work, manage people, etc. but that is the problem, Its like a people management role. I as a tech lead CANT write code, this is a rule that applies also to the architects.
I really miss writing code, I talked to my superior, they told me they could make and exception if I venture into a team to coach them, the first week I refactorized the whole project, thaught them the lineaments and made follow to their changes, It was very satisfing writing code after a long time, but after that i could never do it again, because I didnt have to impact on their sprint results.
Recently i have started a meeting with all the devs that Im gonna have once a month, I talked about all we are gonna do together, share experiences, I was gonna help them to make PoCs, implement cross-projects solutions and standarize solutions that they could propose, but nobody really seems interested (at least 4 or 5 from 70+). Me as a tech lead cant write code, but i can "delegate" tasks to "volunteers", because I cant interfiere on their sprints capacity, and thats the cherry on the cake, my role doesnt have autority above anybody, if I want to make an PoC I depend on my devs capacity, I have to ask one per one if they wanted to make it and sell them the product to see if somebody want to do it. My role is to influence people without autority.
Its very frustating because my role is very lonely, Im not on a dev level but neither on the architect level, I feel like I dont belong with anybody, some architects understimate me and the devs overstimate me, Most of the time I feel like Im the only one from the devs that have time to propose new solutions, and I have to beg people to take a tech story, a PoC, etc. Often the architects or COE add me on meetings architecture related and I really enjoy being there, oftenly I cant say anything (because Im not at that level), when is something related to implementation or project management I really interact there.
Honestly dont know what to do. It feels like everything I've learned so far is useless now. I have spent nights looking at an empty note with nothing on my mind or crying because I really dont know how to handle this job. I feel like they made a mistake when promoted me, but this is an unique oportunity to show an grow like never, I dont wanna waste this oportunnity, what should I do??