Call that shit 100 Strains of Solitude.

Instead of a normal exchange where you can buy stocks directly, you pay the exchange 2.50$ per transaction and you would get a random stock out of thousand possible stocks and most of the time it would pay out a shitty worthless penny stock so the exchange makes money on the spread between the price of the 2.50$ fee and the penny stock paid out and the chance of getting a stock worth anything would be like 1% like a normal video game loot box.

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"We had beans yesterday for dinner. Pass the Big Stick, John. I'll need the Big Stick today." ~Probably some Ancient Roman

Tell me, when's the last time you talked with anyone in the bathroom (public)? You have perhaps asked for toilet paper and your fellow countrymen give it with acceptance or you may say excuse me or thank you to someone holding the door. That's it.

The ancient, mighty and wise Romans sat to take a shit all while discussing a plethora of topics! We had ancient men discussing things like prices with senators that shat next to them or a random stranger discussing the recent events (their news) in town.

Imagine how much you can achieve with your fellow shitting folks if you were to simply discuss topics like stock markets, recent political wars or events, the fifa world cup, or who you would place $100 on for the next MMA match ..?

Today you sit isolated with walls separating you from your fellow man as you shit in shame but the ancient Romans did otherwise and used it as an opportunity to connect.

Suppose like the above quote given you have atrocious cyclosporiasis level diahhrea. You would turn to your best friend John who is taking his shit and simply utter the quote above as he smiles and passes a very large wooden stick with a large sponge from a bed of river in the center of the communal restroom (where all the sponges that have been used by previous men sit to clean off in the water for the next man to use).

"Eww isn't that gross Mr. u/Annual_Beginning_600?"

No. It isn't. But if you wish to keep whining about the hygiene aspect and find it gross to use one that has already been put in the wet center pool, we can simply open up MORE jobs as a scrub cleaner.

There is an X amount of people who enter the public restroom daily and thus we know roughly that some X amount of scrubs will be used. These sponge thingies can be replaced or cleansed by the workers and replaced simultaneously as people go and thus always let a clean version to use for folks as people come and go. This also fixes some of your whining about unemployment as people are able to do this without much education or skills. It's a decent job albeit a little gross at times!

Now you may be asking why I'm so passionate for this. I believe this isn't just a nice little QOL change for Americans or the world, but rather a \*necessity\* for us men to bond with and fight the global men's loneliness epidemic. To lift each other up in our shittiest (no pun intended!) moments in life.

Mods, this is no troll post, I believe this is the way for society to propel itself forwards.

Or maybe on the back of your pants “lactose intolerance on board “or “Crohn’s disease on board”

You think Americans 🇺🇸 are fat? Wait until they try the McChungus burger, you ain’t seen nothing yet!

It’s become a tradition for me to “prank” my housemate on her birthday.

1st year- 100 pictures of Gandhi stuck all over her bedroom because she didn’t know the difference between Gandalf and Gandhi.

2nd year- I built a miniature city in her bedroom and filled it will 400 miniature ducks.

This year I’m so stuck for ideas!

"Hey look all the fun of fireball with that annoying drunk part."

Why don't they make one of these and put it in like potato chips and stuff like they do with soda and artificial sweeteners?

Imagine the comfort of the padding plus your increased productivity at work cause there will be no bathroom breaks

That is all. Just like every tax increase, you’ll receive nothing for it:

Basically they'd just write the whole book again, but with minor stylistic changes here and there to make it their own.