tldr: I made a joke about "normal" people being homossexual. Someone named Kanye said "says the one pretending to be a woman". I am nonbinary, and my original text says so

(LONG STORY made SHORT)

I don't wish to frame this in an offensive way; I'm just new to these feelings (and honestly romantic feelings in general), and I'm hoping people with more life experience can tell me how they figured things out.

I'm a Christian Mexican guy about to enter college.

I think I might be bisexual. I definitely like girls, and I've dated 3 girls before (still on good terms with all of them). I can also imagine myself liking a guy under certain but still many circumstances, but it's still less common for me. So I'm trying to understand where I fit.

One thing that made all of this even more confusing is how I experience affection.

I've never actually been kissed on the lips by anyone, regardless of gender. The closest I've gotten was my guy friends kissing me on the cheek as a joke, which sounds weird out of context, but that's genuinely just how some of us act around each other.

When I'm on Discord playing games with the boys, I sometimes realize how much those moments mean to me. If we're all laughing, talking about life, or just sitting in silence while playing something together, I start feeling really attached to them. Sometimes I catch myself blushing because I feel genuinely cared for. I love that I can be completely honest around them and they'll give me their real opinions instead of telling me what they think I want to hear.

I don't think it's really lust. It's more like... if someone truly cares about me and makes me feel emotionally safe, I can start wondering, "Could I actually like this person?" I've even caught myself almost developing little crushes on a couple of my friends before, but they usually fade because I remind myself they're my friends (and respectfully... some of them are as chopped as I am 💀).

What also didn't help was high school.

I went to a private school where we had one class together for basically every subject, so everyone knew each other really well. During cooking class, I naturally ended up cooking, cleaning everyone's messes, and taking care of people. Somewhere along the way my friend group jokingly decided I was basically the "wife" of the group.

They'd compliment my apron, tease me, jokingly argue over who the "husband" was, and completely lean into the joke. Looking back, I honestly didn't mind it as much as I pretended to. That same whole "group wife" joke is also what eventually led to one of my friends kissing me on the cheek. HE ASKED BEFOREHAND; BTW, he was kind of cute.

Even now, my friends and I sometimes make really over-the-top jokes that get way too intimate before we all stop, look at each other, start blushing, awkwardly apologize, laugh, and tone it back down. what i mean is that we'd do some pretty weird stuff, like grabbing each other's faces or pulling one another closer and resting our heads on each other. We'd low-key do couple stuff, ngl.

Sometimes I honestly wonder if I could fall for almost anyone—girl or guy—if they genuinely loved me, cared for me, and made me feel emotionally safe. That's probably one of the biggest reasons I'm questioning my sexuality in the first place. It's less about physical attraction and more about how deeply I connect with people who make me feel accepted.

The bigger thing that's been on my mind is that, for the past 3–4½ years, I've had a growing desire to look female. I actually still think of myself as a guy—but looking more feminine feels like it would be closer to how I picture myself; in fact, most of my days i wake up and hate that i woke up as a guy because it doesn't look like what i feel like I'd look like. I've even had dreams that i was a girl and cried literal tears because I woke up male. I've been thinking about HRT for a long time. Not impulsively either. Almost every day I weigh what I'd gain against what I'd lose. I know it isn't some magical "I'll finally be happy" button, and I know there are permanent changes and risks. That's exactly why I've been thinking about it so carefully. If I ever did go on HRT, I honestly would care if people referred to me as male or not. I don't feel like changing my appearance would erase the life I've lived or the values I've built.

I'm about to start college, and it feels like I'm at a point where I need to understand these feelings instead of ignoring them.

I grew up with two older sisters and my mom, while my dad was usually at work. I think that shaped how I view masculinity and femininity. I never really connected with the whole "macho man" idea. I've always felt more comfortable around softer aesthetics, cute things, and expressing emotions.

When I was younger, I looked pretty androgynous, and I actually liked being mistaken for a girl sometimes. My relatives always joked that I looked just like my mom. As I've gotten older, I've become more masculine-looking, and I honestly struggle with seeing that in the mirror.

My church is actually very accepting. They genuinely believe Jesus loves people unconditionally, and they've been welcoming to people from all kinds of backgrounds. One of my childhood friends came out as gay, and nobody treated him badly—they mostly just cared that he was still the same person and still helped around church.

My parents are what scare me.

They're Mexican, and while my mom can be very open-minded about some things, she's also very strict about gender expectations when it comes to me. My dad is loving, but I'm scared he'd quietly see me as a disappointment if I weren't his only son anymore. That's probably one of the biggest fears I've been carrying.

I also feel guilty because I know changing how I look could be difficult for people who've known me my whole life. I don't want to become someone else—I genuinely feel like I'd still be me. I'd just look different.

Sometimes I feel embarrassed that I want to be dainty or feminine when everyone sees me as a guy. Other times the desire feels so strong that I wonder if it'll ever go away. I honestly feel like an imposter living in someone else's body and an imposter with someone else's identity.

as for my sisters, I don't think they'd mind having another sister, but that's based on how they treat me now. mah big sisters are honestly the best!

I guess my question is

Has anyone else gone through something similar or have words of help for my confusion?

Ethics: 115584 

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hi people. I’m f23 and i still don’t know if I‘m asexual org bi or anything else. I love looking at woman, like to fantasizing intimacy w women. I still like men i guess, but i don’t like fantasizing myself w them. I thought i was bi, but i realize i don’t have the desire to have relationship w them in real life. Am I asexual or is there any specific term?

Hiiii I'm 18m and was assigned male at birth.

Recently I have been experimenting with my identity, and I'm a little confused. I'm bisexual and present myself in a more feminine/androgynous way. I go by all pronouns, but prefer my friends to refer me to she/they. I don't necessarily think I'm trans through. I still identify as a male, although I don't like calling myself one, because I think it makes me feel less cute. I was wondering if anyone else has pronouns that contradict their gender identity and how to explain it to other people in a way that makes sense.

Hello, this is my first time posting, so I don't quite know where to post this...

Does anyone know where I can find a yes/no/maybe question list but with romantic rather than sexual aspects??? I'm becoming slightly more than friends with an old friend of mine, but we both aren't too good at speaking out loud about our boundaries

Mb if this is unclear, I lowkey don't know how to post 😿