I’m currently on a camping trip with my sister, her two teenagers, and my 6yo daughter. My daughter is an only child, and I love it, but my sister just… can’t stop bringing it up.

It’s never mean, that’s the annoying part. It’s always these little throwaway comments. “Oh she must be so bored in the evenings after school, all alone.” “She’ll need to make friends here since she doesn’t have siblings to play with.” Stuff like that, over and over, this whole trip.

She says it like she’s being thoughtful or concerned, but it’s exhausting. My kid is not lonely. She has a full life, friends, activities, and honestly seems way less overstimulated than her cousins most of the time. I don’t need siblings-as-default-solution framing every single day.

I haven’t said anything because it’s always so “innocent” sounding that calling it out feels like I’m overreacting. But three days into this trip and I’m about ready to snap.

Anyone else deal with this? How do you shut it down without starting a fight?

Ciao a tutti! F33, mamma di una bimba di 7m. Dopo 12 anni insieme, lavoro stabile e una casa di proprietà decidiamo senza pensarci troppo di avere un figlio. Abbiamo passato 5 anni in un'altra città, una volta tornati nella nostra e essendoci sistemati il pensiero è venuto da se'. In realtà abbiamo sempre pensato di volere figlie ed entrambi non volevamo essere genitori "grandi". Da quando la mia bimba è nata però io sto malissimo: mi manca la mia indipendenza, vorrei fare viaggi in posti esotici (un paio li abbiamo fatti e pensavo che per altri viaggi avrei potuto aspettare), mi manca la vita di coppia, lo stare sola... invidio i nostri amici senza figli, vorrei andare al mare in moto o a cena fuori spontaneamente come facevamo prima, odio dover chiedere permesso per andare dall'esterista, vorrei godermi la vita che avevo tanto desiderato quando abitavo fuori (e che avevo ottenuto!)... è possibile che io non abbia pensato a tutto questo prima di avere un bambino? Come ho fatto ad essere così impreparata? Penso ancora di volere dei figli nella mia vita, ma mi sono convinta di averlo fatto troppo presto (spinta anche dalla paura dell'infertilità e del fatto che i nonni diventassero troppo grandi per godersi i nipoti e aiutarci). Oggi mi chiedo anche: ma perchè Ho non volevo essere un genitore di 35/40 anni? A giorno o d'oggi vale la pena essere genitori a 30 anni? Non è meglio "godersi" la vita e non avere rimpianti e poi fare un figlio? Ho fatto un errore ad avere mia figlia a 32 anni?

Hi there,

I am now 41 and we had our daughter when I was 39 after several rounds of ivf. We do have a great embryo left in the freezer but the birth was not great.

In week 35 I was already feeling awful but I just thought that’s normal. It turned out to be preclamsia and I was admitted to hospital. they couldn’t lower my blood pressure and I stayed for one week until it developed into server hellp syndrom. At that point i had no sleep for minimum of two days cause i couldn’t lay down or sit anymore but tests for hellp were still not bad enough. Then my liver and blood cell numbers got worse. I had a emergency c section and during that my blood pressure climbed up to 230 ( I do have 120/70 usually and had about 160 with preeclampsia) and all I could do was cry due to the worst headache of my life. Child hat to be brought to intensive care immediately and they tried to lower my blood pressure for 3 hours with no luck so they brought me to intensiv care too.

now I almost feel like myself again and we are both healthy, she is almost 2. I like the tought of a bigger family for her cause she only has one uncle (and his daughter) and grandma. and the thought of me being older and having two kids.

but I dont want to go through this again just before menopause hits. I also had a post partum depression and it took a while to get stable again physically and mentally.

my husband is fine with one and done and my feeling says that I really want to focus on her but I still wonder about the what ifs.

i know there is ass and close monitoring but I was already closley monitored and there is nothing to prevent it.

a realistic doctor said: you have to fine with it being better, the same or worse

I’m a mom to an 18 month old and I’ve been certain that I do not want anymore kids since she was a young baby, the whole parenting experience has humbled me to the max and one is definitely about all I can handle. When we were trying for my daughter I knew without a doubt I 100% wanted a child, but I do not feel that way at all when it comes to a second, and so in my opinion unless it’s an all out yes, it’s going to be a no.

I hadn’t been on birth control for several years before having my daughter, a combination of using barrier methods and then running into infertility obstacles when we did start ttc. I had a bad experience with the nexplanon implant in the past and I am so forgetful that taking pills would be too much of a risk, so ended up settling on the Nuvaring as my BC of choice which I’ve been liking so far.

Long term though, I’m really not sure. I feel like I’m constantly hearing stories of birth control failing, yes even IUDs, and I can’t help but feel like I’m inevitably going to end up pregnant again even with perfect use of BC. Maybe it’s irrational, but I still worry. I never ever want to be in the position where I’m faced with an abortion, I am pro-choice but I know that personally having to make that decision would wreck me.

I know that the solution to all this would be sterilisation for either or both of us, and you’d think that it would be a no-brainer, but I struggle with the idea. I think it’s the finality of it, even though I’m certain of my OAD decision it’s still kinda a sad thought for me knowing that even in the very unlikely event I change my mind, there’s no going back. I realise vasectomies and tied tubes can be reversed, but that’s not guaranteed, and I don’t know. I just feel super conflicted.

Is there anyone else here that has been/is in the same boat?

Hi all. Have a 14 year old only child. Right now, we are in the throes of getting her summer screen time under control. My post is regarding my guilt over her having no one to play with besides myself in the summer. This is why I am inconsisent with enforcing screen time. She also does not want do anything that I suggest. I was wondering if anyone with an only teen has any advice or words of wisdom. Her three best friends are in sleepway camp/abroad for the next week. She goes to camp but only for 3 hours in the morning. And that is coming to an end next week.

I'm interested to hear peoples perspectives about attachment with an only. We have one 7yo daughter, and for a long time she's seemed more shy/cautious than her peers, and less likely to do anything outside her comfort zone. She's got plenty of cousins, neighbours and friends so isnt lonely, bored or doing nothing. Now at 7 she's become really confident and a joy to hang out with, but I guess I'm wondering if her being an only contributes towards these traits being more noticeable or if we've maybe coddled or stunted her by being too available, not making her face many challenges etc.

She's my tiny bestie, but very alike to my husband in personality, but theres no sink or swim and she rarely has to conquer things on her own or experience much discomfort.

My husband and I both came from big families, grew up in the 80's and largely just kind of did our own thing. Our parents loved us, but didnt really do a whole lot for or with us.

Just wondering if we have created a beast, or hopefully a well attached little girl who will go explore her world a little more. Does anyone else have kids like this?

Anyone ever read the only child sub? I’m a mother to an only child myself by choice. I am always second guessing my decision, especially when I see siblings happily playing together when we are out, which I have been seeing a lot of lately. I follow the only child sub to gauge the experiences of other only children, as I feel I want to help my child. It is very depressing. I just read a comment about someone having a bad day with their colleague, their colleague having their sister to turn to and talk to for hours. This only child felt like they no one to talk to as their parents would worry, and felt as if their friends had their own stuff going on so couldn’t talk to them. This only child felt jealous of the colleague that had a sibling. How do you make peace with your decision when you read comments like this?

Advice please !!!!

I have a young child and there a few reasons I do not want another. But one of those reasons is that I live in a red state, I already had a high risk pregnancy and with the newly elected CDC director pushing for “abortion surveillance” there is absolutely zero chance I would risk my life. Are any other moms feeling this way?

I know that when I was pregnant and found many people I know to be pregnant around the same time I was happy for them ofc.

But recently..everyone has been working on 2nds and 4ths..

And I don’t know how to explain the feeling it gives inside of me, some of it is my own nihilistic pity,

But it being someone else’s life I’ve never really cared what others got going on, but this hits differently.

Like is it truly that I don’t enjoy motherhood as much as the average woman? I thought it was commonly agreed to be the most draining/demanding thing you can with your life.

Now I worry I won’t have anyone to relate to, and I’ll start feeling a pressure. I didn’t think EVERY mother I knew would continue to have more and more children. I figured one person who saw how difficult it was would agree multiples is crazy in our day and age.

I guess I’m morning my ability to relate

Sorry for the ramble, I just don’t know what to do I’m beside myself…

Looks like we may be one and done, not because that’s what we want, but because life is just too expensive. Im so in love with our 3 month old but need to start thinking about #2 since I’m already 40. Im heartbroken and also guilt ridden that I won’t be able to give my child a sibling since we don’t have the time/luxury to wait a few years. Has anyone here been OAD begrudgingly? How did it turn out for you and your family?

Second miscarriage within a 8 month span. Lots of fertility intervention to conceive my first. Feeling so exhausted and depleted and wondering if it’s time to close this chapter. I work with children and as the eldest kid I always wanted 3-4 kids. My life isn’t what I pictured and I’m struggling so hard.

Please any positive thoughts or words of support from OAD parents. Thank you 🙏🏽

Hi everyone! I don’t know if it’s me turning 40 in a few months or what but I’ve been having intense baby fever. I have been firmly and happily one and done since my pregnancy 7 years ago and my tubes are removed. I usually get small spurts of baby fever here and there, but this has lasted months and feels really intense! Any advice? Solidarity? Is there a pill I can take?! lol 

TW: Pregnancy Loss

Long story short: I had 4 miscarriages in 2022 before having my son in 2023. We started trying again in 2025 and I've had an ectopic and 2 more miscarriages in the last 11 months.

Pregnancy is hard on me. I'm overly anxious and then my nausea is bad so I can barely drink water. I survived my son's pregnancy but didn't have a toddler to take care of. I'm not the wife and mother my family deserves and the reality is I'm more likely to lose a pregnancy than to have another baby. I was an only child for 10 years and I was so lonely. My husband is the youngest of 5 and I love that his family has so many stories and he's still close with them.

I see positives to just having one. My life is way easier than my friends with 2+ kids. But pregnancy announcements hurt so bad. My friend was OAD not by choice, but because her husband believes if they have another their marriage will end. Well she just texted me the other day and despite prevention methods, she's pregnant. I'm happy for her because she has been wanting another but her husband wouldn't budget on the subject. But I'm not sure if will ever be able to not have grief that I won't have the large family like I wanted.

I can't be the only one who doesn't have a village mostly by choice. Most people seem to think village = babysitting grandparents. I don't have that. "Oh, you don't have family nearby? Or, your parent's aren't interested in babysitting?" No, it's not that. I just don't think I can trust my family with my daughter. Nobody ever thinks of that it seems? Shocker, I know, but some family relations are strained. And I don't really have friends. Anyways. When I decided to have a child, I always pictured raising her by myself (and my husband of course). So for me, one child is very manageable. I know I couldn't go through that again without a village anyway, and I would probably have to make my own. This isn't my only why, but it's important to admit that people who are lucky enough to have a village have a drastically different parenthood experience.
I know some people have their parents help them anyway despite their conflicts but I just couldn't. I'd rather keep my peace. I've heard some stories lol. If leaving the kids at grandmas is a bigger headache than taking them along with you then why bother?

Hi there! I'm a FTM, currently 4m post partum. I always thought I wanted 2 or even 3 children but now I'm having second thoughts, but for a weird reason:

I feel like having another baby would be 'cheating' on this one. Like, I want more of this exact baby, not a new or 'other' baby.

Is this just hormones? Has anyone else experienced this?

My family live back home in Denmark, I live in the UK with my husband and our son. My husband’s parents are older (70+). Really hoping that one day our son (if that’s the path he takes) will find someone and their family and ours can merge and become one family lol.. is that sad? Of course, I don’t mean day to day, but Christmas sort of days, I feel like those days will be pretty lonely just my husband and I 🥲 Feeling a little emosh over here haha! I know it’s ridiculous to think this far ahead, he might grow up to become someone who does his own things with a partner who’s the same lol.. he is only little anyway, I just can’t help but think about how nice that would be.. maybe I feel this way because my family and husband’s family aren’t close at all, they never even speak.. I had always hoped we would bring everyone together.

I’ve noticed that some parents with two or more children try to pressure or guilt parents with one child into having another baby.

They often say things like:

“Your child needs a sibling to play with.”

“They will grow up alone.”

“A sibling will always be there for them.”

I understand that siblings can be a good thing, but having another child is a big personal decision. What bothers me is that some people bring this up almost every time we meet.

I know not all parents with multiple children do this, but it has happened to me several times. My friend, who is also one and done, has experienced the same thing.

Why do some parents keep doing this?

TLDR: After infertility, a traumatic pregnancy, and postpartum, my husband and I are OAD. Although he says he supports that decision, our sex life has completely changed. He refuses penetrative sex and jokes that we only need to do that if I want another baby. I feel like he’s replacing physical intimacy with toys, gadgets, and excuses, and I’m starting to wonder if he resents me for being OAD.

I don’t know if this is the right sub for this, but I feel like maybe some people here will understand. I just really need to vent.
My husband and I are OAD, mostly by choice. We spent almost 7 years trying to have a baby through infertility, recurrent miscarriages, and other fertility issues before our son was miraculously conceived. Even if we wanted another child, I still have fertility issues, so that leaves me OAD not by choice but also a reason I chose not to have another child.
After everything we went through to have him, pregnancy was incredibly traumatic for me, and postpartum was the final nail in the coffin. I am completely done having children.

My husband has always said it’s my body, my choice, and ultimately my happiness. He wanted two kids and has admitted that before, but he says he respects my decision because I’m the one going through all of it physically.
The problem is I don’t know if he actually does respect that decision.
Ever since we decided to be OAD, it feels like our sex life has completely changed. Every time I bring up wanting actual sex, he says things like, “Well, you don’t want to get pregnant,” or “You only wanted one kid,” or “Only if you want another baby.”
We still have intimacy, but it only seems to happen in ways that satisfy him. I’ll gladly give him oral, and he’ll help me with a toy, but we haven’t had actual sex since I was 32 weeks pregnant… our son is almost 15 months old now.
For context, he’s had erectile dysfunction for our entire relationship, so this isn’t new. We’ve always had a mix of penetrative sex and other forms of intimacy, and during TTC he was prescribed Viagra, which helped. Now he says planning around taking a pill, our toddler’s sleep schedule or our daily routine isn’t worth it, so he doesn’t even try anymore.
What hurts isn’t just the lack of sex. It’s that I don’t feel wanted anymore.
I know I’ve told him I’m scared of getting pregnant again, and I understand why that might make him hesitant. I’m not on birth control because I wanted my hormones to recover after pregnancy, although I’m getting an IUD later this month for my heavy periods and for peace of mind. We’ve briefly talked about a vasectomy too, but he’s had several surgeries over the last year, so I understand why he isn’t eager for another procedure.
But honestly… I don’t think that’s the whole issue.
I’m starting to wonder if he resents me for being OAD when he wasn’t and this is something he knows matters to me. Sex has always been my “love language” I guess. It makes me feel good about us and my self.
The hardest part is that this pattern extends beyond sex. Physical touch has never been his love language, but now it feels like whenever I ask for physical affection, he replaces it with a gadget.
If I ask for a foot rub, he buys me a foot massager.
If I ask for a back rub, he buys me a massage gun.
If I ask to play with my hair, he gets me a scalp massager.
They’re thoughtful gifts, and he even offers to use the massage gun on me, but it’s missing the point. I don’t want a machine. I want him. I want his hands. I want the connection.
That’s what I miss the most.
This doesn’t even feel like a dead bedroom to me. It feels like the type of intimacy that matters most to me has been taken off the table. I’m not just missing sex, I’m missing feeling desired, pursued, and physically connected to my husband.
I’m feeling really neglected, insecure, and honestly heartbroken.
Has anyone else experienced something like this? If so, how did you work through it? I don’t know what to do.

My 2.5 year old son is in the process of potty training and he said he needed to potty so we ran in and he did 3 little poops and said, “Look it’s mommy, daddy, and Liam!”

I love our triangle family (even though I was just compared to a poop lol) 🤍

My kid will be going to HS and I bought her 2 pair of new shoes and we had to buy her new glasses because her prescription changed. I am paying adult prices now and not kid prices. We spent $900 total. I thought to myself, how do parents of multiples do it?

My kid likes wearing platform doc martens so I got her new boots and sandals. Her foot is a 5.5 so it’s hard to find her shoes. I can get away with a 6 in boots. But if it’s dress shoes or other shoes, I have to do 5.5 - so the shoes that only have whole sizes are a problem. And her being a teen, she’s picky with her style.

Luckily for clothing, I found this really cool reclaim clothing place.

While we don’t pay for aftercare and daycare, I miss the kid prices of clothing.

Pretty soon we will have to pay for her auto insurance.

I don’t think the parents of multiples realize that the more kids you have, you’re eventually paying for multiple young adults. And sometimes I feel it’s just as expensive.

One of the biggest contradictions I see online is this:

“If you have one kid, you have no kids.”

The implication being that one child is so much easier that it barely counts as parenting. Then the moment someone says they’re happily one-and-done, the rhetoric completely changes.

“You should have two. It’s so much easier because they play together.”

So which is it?

To me, this is the perfect example of how people will undermine your choice no matter what to make themselves feel better. First, your experience as a parent gets minimized because your life is supposedly much easier than someone with multiple children. Then those same people often turn around and try to convince you that adding another child would actually make your life easier.

I think it’s a dead giveaway that these comments have nothing to do with the one and done family and more to do with people reinforcing the decisions they have already made. If one child is practically “no kids,” why would adding another child suddenly make parenting easier? Both statements can’t coexist .

It’s honestly so interesting to me that these two completely opposite ideas are often repeated by the same people without anyone pointing out the contradiction.
Has anyone else noticed this?