r/okbuddycinephile 7h ago

A historically accurate adaptation of 'The Odyssey'

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4.4k Upvotes

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699

u/onepareil 6h ago

Yeah, we certainly can’t have any gay shit in our story about Ancient Greeks.

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u/MoonMistCigs 6h ago

My favorite conservatives are the ones who scream and cry about gay people, yet they put decals on their truck and wear shirts with the Spartan helmet.

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u/masclean 5h ago

They also put testicles on their trucks. Gaaaaaaay

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u/Valogrid 4h ago

And then crash Grindr when they have a Republican Convention.

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u/GlassJoe32 2h ago

Honestly I think that’s why so many stay angry at liberal people. Liberals are either straight, gay or something in between and they’re comfortable with it and surround themselves with others that are comfortable with it. Gay conservatives have to live a lie.

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u/anarkistattack 1h ago

That's actually a myth. They get more users but it doesn't crash.

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u/BathroomAggressive57 3h ago

You ever wonder why the DNC never crashes the Grindr servers?

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u/Jaded-Promise7647 2h ago

Not enough gay people I would say

-4

u/BathroomAggressive57 2h ago

Nah that's not it. It's more like lowering your server capacity when the RNC's in town so you can embarrass them. Which I'm all about. I'm totally cool with it but something's fucky on that stuff.

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u/Jaded-Promise7647 2h ago

Are you seriously going with that explanation right now?

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u/BathroomAggressive57 2h ago

It's totally plausible.

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u/SundayKiefBowls 1h ago

It's not at all. Do you really think that a company is going to decide to turn off their product (and their income) at peak usage, just to make republicans look stupid? Republicans look plenty stupid by themselves all the time. You're just delusional.

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u/Valogrid 2h ago

No, Grindr did actually release statements about this and it boils down to too many users in one location and their infrastructure can't handle it. Imagine you have the typical users (LGBTQ+ who use the app regularly) and the atypical users (deeply closeted republicans who use the app on a non-standard schedule). Now you already have the typical users running the app in a particular location, and there happens to be a Republican Convention in that same area so now you have a huge influx of atypical users. Servers just can't handle it.

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u/BathroomAggressive57 2h ago

But why doesn't it happen when the DNC is in town? There's just as many gays in the dnc as there are in the RNC.

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u/Valogrid 2h ago

Because, they are the typical users the infrastructure is designed around. The Democrats aren't waiting until they go out of town to fire up Grindr, they do that shit at home.

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u/PutinsCapybara 2h ago

I would say because attending a convention in a hotel away from home provides an opportunity to have casual sex that is just not as available on average in a closeted gay person's life. They don't want to be seen as gay by family, friends, colleagues, or (probably) in many cases existing partners. For DNC-goers, I'd argue they are much more likely to be out, unembarassed to date openly in their community, and don't feel the same pressure to cram their casual sex into a trip away from home.

Just a guess.

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u/Wild-Lychee-3312 4h ago

No, they are just supporting their trans vehicles, giving them gender-affirming alterations. It’s very progressive of them

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u/National-Charity-435 3h ago

And TRT is gender-affirming treatment

hegseth just needed an excuse after not being able to bench 135

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u/Warm-Professional494 3h ago

Lots of closeted gays on that side. I’m mean statistically there are way more that they let on. It’s where lots of their hate comes from. They are obsessed with muscular men too.

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u/masclean 1h ago

Obligatory:

"I'm deeply closeted"

"So you're saying you're gay"

"Why would I say that I'm deeply closeted"

But yeah there's a reason grindr only crashes around Republican conventions

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u/pyrofox79 5h ago

It's true. While Spartans were good warriors, they also viewed being with women as a mainly practical matter for procreation. I believe I read somewhere that spartan men viewed having sex with men as being more manly than having sex with women.

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u/birn_echo Society man 5h ago

As a gay man I can confirm, nothing is gayer then sex with a woman

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u/WurdaMouth 5h ago

Thats it! Im not letting a gay guy out-straight me! Time to have sex with men.

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u/joonty 1h ago

We really had to twist your arm

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u/takeme2tendieztown 3h ago

Many men!

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u/WurdaMouth 1h ago

However many it takes to prove Im straighter than that gay guy!

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u/spinaljellyfish 4h ago

This is literally a quote from Nick Fuentes “If we're really being honest, never having a girlfriend, never having sex with a woman, really makes you more heterosexual, because honestly, dating women is gay.”

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u/birn_echo Society man 4h ago

Nick Fuentes would be less of a peace of shit if he just relaxed and let a guy just utterly obliterate him

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u/ClassiFried86 4h ago

May he never know piece.

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u/the_phantom_limbo 4h ago

Pretty sure it's happening. I remember there being commentary about a sex tape leak of Fuentes and Destiny a couple of years ago.

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u/Zaza1019 4h ago

Isn't he the white nationalist who got caught looking at trans/shemale porn not that long ago because he thought his stream ended and pulled it up? Pretty sure he knows all about being gay already.

Edit: This might not narrow it down as I think there are a lot of cases of this in the closeted world of the anti-gay community.

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u/DasharrEandall 5h ago

Hello Andrew Tate, how's the court case doing?

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u/birn_echo Society man 5h ago

Tate wishes he could pull the bussy I pull

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u/Strange-Bee5626 4h ago

Congratulations!

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u/Procrasturbating 4h ago

Is it more or less gay if she has a penis? I’m very confused now.

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u/birn_echo Society man 4h ago

depends on how butch her haircut is

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u/Procrasturbating 4h ago

That leaves me with even more uncomfortable questions.. I’m just gonna live with my confused boner.

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u/Wild-Lychee-3312 4h ago

It becomes a contest. May the best erection win.

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u/Zaza1019 4h ago

Who cares at that point? You get the best of both worlds? Just enjoy it.

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u/Procrasturbating 3h ago

Well obviously I’m gonna enjoy it.. but is it gay? I guess I’ll just tell my doctor the whole story and let him decide..

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u/Ek0mst0p 5h ago

Hey! Noone said it is gay, just pussy... wait...

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u/LillyJane8124 4h ago

Puss is for pussies, schlongs are for bros…yeah!! 💪

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u/Wild-Lychee-3312 4h ago

So if I’m bisexual, and I enjoy sex with men and women, does that automatically make me super mega gay?

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u/birn_echo Society man 4h ago

clearly!!

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u/Bleatbleatbang 4h ago

Does that mean I’m gay.
Oh well.
How you doin’ Society Man?

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u/FutureDustMotes 2h ago

As a woman, big same 😅

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u/Herandar 3h ago

Thank you,  Andrew Tate. How's the prison food? 

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u/birn_echo Society man 3h ago

Tate? That beta cuck?

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u/NLThomas1 5h ago

And in Sparta, men greet women with a high five, and tongue kisses for other men.

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u/the_phantom_limbo 4h ago edited 1h ago

I saw a video where the very straight Andrew Tate was telling his very straight followers that being in a long term relationship with a woman is, like, super gay. It's all gone a bit postmodern.

Been with the mrs for a bit, I should be getting my copy of the gay agenda soon. Heard a lot about it.

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u/FlashLightning277 2h ago

The agenda is supposed to be a secret!!! Ugg people forget that.

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u/Isootsaetsrue 5h ago

This explains so much about a huge part of right wingers...

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u/Expensive-Paint-9490 5h ago

It's more nuanced. In ancient Greece there was the concept of virile homosexuality, the idea that true love can exist only among peers, and only a warrior is a peer to another warrior. There have been other instances of this same idea in warrior societies, for example in Japan among samurai.

But in both instances, the concept was not ubiquitary. Het and gay warriors coexisted, and they debated on the superiority of their preference. It's not clear how prevalent was virile homosexuality, but the largest consensus is on homosexuality being the minority choice. So yes, homosexuality was common in some warrior societies, but the idea of "everybody was homosexual" is just a later interpolation.

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u/FuzzyFrogFish 4h ago

Ancient greek sexual ideals were that men were always the active partner. And women the passive. Boys could also be passives. But a Greek man who allowed himself to be mounted and therefore behaved like a passive was considered shameful

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u/dixyrae 2h ago

And as we know, nobody in history ever did anything shameful. You only ever have to enforce cultural norms on stuff no one likes to do anyway.

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u/Expensive-Paint-9490 4h ago

Absolutely no. Where did you find such a notion? Male homosexual relationships were framed according to the status and autonomy of the parts involved. During classical Greece, homosexuality among warriors was often celebrated as an expression of loyalty and friendship; nobody cared about active and passive. Even in a pederast relationship like
Harmodius and Aristogeiton's, the former, that is, the younger eromenos, is framed as a warrior and heroic tyrannicide.

The concept you are referring to is common in different places and times but it was not prevalent in Greek homosexuality.

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u/FuzzyFrogFish 3h ago

That's Rome!! You're talking about Rome, they are the ones that framed it according to status and autonomy.

nobody cared about active and passive

They absolutely did. It was literally their ideal, especially in Sparta which is where we are talking about not later greek periods, and that ideal was an older man with a younger boy.

Update your research.

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u/Expensive-Paint-9490 3h ago

We have no primary sources about homosexuality in ancient Greece. What we know about it is through classical Greece writings, which is good, but clearly has cultural injections from its period and is not a coeve primary source. Pederastia in Sparta (in classical age) was framed as a mentorship relation and usually they stressed there was no sex involved, which probably was false, but that's not the point. Again, where did you find this concept of active vs passive in classical Greece? That's not something I can remember from classical sources. Maybe it comes from satire?

Rome's attitudes toward homosexuality came from cultural hellenisation of the educated elites. The status and autonomy angle is well attested in classical writings from Greece.

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u/FuzzyFrogFish 2h ago

We have no primary sources for Sparta, they did not write about themselves. So what exactly do you mean we have no primary sources for ancient Greece . . . ? Because there's plenty of ancient greek writers, including those that wrote about the pederastry and pederastic relationships.

Only Xenophon stated that the relationships between Spartan men (20 or so yrs old) and the boys should be chaste, he also admitted it likely wasnt. It was also a fact that if the boy refused the attentions of an older man he could well end up finding himself banished from attaining citizenship from being refused access to the communal clubs, which means he was incredibly vulnerable to manipulation.

The sex was meant to be between the thighs (it likely wasn't limited to this), but a grown male citizen allowing himself to be penetrated anally was considered shameful.

Again, where did you find this concept of active vs passive in classical Greece?

Research. It's literally common terminology even digging through the Askhistorians sub will produce it. The male in ancient Greece was considered the active partner, the older, the dominant, the seducer and the penetrator. The boy or woman was the passive, the submissive, seduced and the penetrated. And romes attitudes were different on a lot of levels, derived from does not equal the same

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u/SatanicPanic619 4h ago

Not everybody, but it was common enough that Aristophanes included a line that was IIRC “bro I saw you on the street with your teen boyfriend and you didn’t even offer him to me”. That’s a very loose translation, college was many years ago 

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u/onepareil 5h ago

Spartan society was extremely sex-segregated because it was arranged totally around their military. Even after marriage, men spent most of their time at war, and before the age of 30, they weren’t even allowed to live with their wives and families. Instead, they stayed in military barracks surrounded by other men. That’s a big part of why Spartan women (free women, anyway) were better educated and more independent than women in other Greek city states at the time. They had to run their households without any input or support from their husbands most of the time. They could even own and inherit property, which would have been unheard of in, say, Athens.

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u/FuzzyFrogFish 4h ago

This myth needs to die, its not accurate. Sparta had no military, the agoge wasn't about combat, they did not train to fight, it's bs spread by the likes of cartledge and got overturned by his own PhD student when he realised cartledge had no sources to back up his claims. And Spartan women were horribly repressed to be clear.

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u/bek_24 5h ago

That’s inaccurate. Gay relationships were not accepted in Spartan culture at least. They raped young boys, but once they reached adulthood it was frowned upon.

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u/bek_24 4h ago

https://acoup.blog/category/collections/this-isnt-sparta/ This was where I got my information on the subject. Not saying your information was wrong, just that wasn’t in what I read about it. Not sure what my grift would be.

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u/FuzzyFrogFish 4h ago edited 3h ago

Dr Bret Devereaux's blog is an excellent read, it's also well worth looking up comments by iphikrates on reddit who is also Dr Roel Konijnendijk irl, an expert on sparta and has helped pull down the Spartan mirage

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u/Hadrollo 4h ago

It is somewhat inaccurate, but your summation is just as inaccurate the other way.

They practiced military pedaresty, where older soldiers were encouraged to have deep - often sexual - relations with younger soldiers in a mentor protege style arrangement.

Spartan men were legally required to marry and have children once they reached adulthood. However, they were culturally expected to maintain and potentially seek out new homosexual partners after marriage.

I'm not going to say there wasn't homosexual rape going on, that would certainly be an element of it. Likewise, not every pedarest relationship was necessarily sexual. However, it appears to have been predominantly consensual and predominantly sexual.

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u/FuzzyFrogFish 4h ago

There was no military in Sparta, so you're not correct on that front. Sparta was an oligarchy. And yes it was much older men with younger boys. To be clear this boy were before the age their cheeks grew peach fuzz, to give you an idea of how young.

So this . . . .

However, it appears to have been predominantly consensual and predominantly sexual.

Is complete crap, even more so considering that if the boy refused to comply, and therefore pissed off even one Spartan, they could be refused admittance to the communal clubs and therefore denied citizenship.

So no it absolutely was no consensual, a child cannot give consent.

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u/_kksbetray__ 4h ago

This is the funny thing about grifting, not either one of you is saying the complete truth.

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u/Agreeable_Sea_6019 4h ago

So rapping young boys is where they draw the line

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u/FuzzyFrogFish 4h ago

Nope they raped young boys.

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u/Agreeable_Sea_6019 3h ago

Ah, English is not my first language.

So having sex with adult man is where they draw the line

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u/FuzzyFrogFish 3h ago

Basically the relationship was between a grown man and a younger teenage boy, once the boy reached adulthood he was expected to mentor a young boy himself and become the active partner. Before eventually being allowed to marry in his 30s

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u/AnAncientBog 5h ago

That's pretty consistent with a lot of the weird alpha/incel/red pill logic that we see right now.

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u/KeepYourSilenceUp 4h ago

Everything I know about Andrew Tate leads me to assume he has said these words verbatim about modern men.

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u/DarthJoseph14 4h ago

I can’t confirm if it’s correct or not, but in spartan courting tradition, the woman would stay in a room with a window open and a shaved head, so that way the man can come in via the window and consummate the marriage. My personal theory is this is meant to reflect the myth of Zeus and Hera’s marriage, but I could definitely be wrong

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u/jackbone24 4h ago

This is unironically the most conservative sounding take. Give it a few years and the chuds will be saying the same thing

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u/FuzzyFrogFish 4h ago

This isn't correct at all. The Spartan mirage has been debunked. They did not train to be warriors and the agoge was nothing to do with fighting or combat, it was about being a good citizen. As for "gay", the older men sexually assaulted to much younger boys in their mentorship. In greek sexual ideals, a grown man was expected to be the active and the woman the passive. But because greek women including Spartan women were property and locked up, young boys were substituted who could be a passive without shame. And the courtship (which was basically grooming) involved the boy acting shy and bashful to meet his passive role. A man allowing himself to be penetrated was considered shameful as he was behaving like a passive women. Two women together wasn't even recognised because both were considered passives.

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u/Red_Trapezoid 4h ago

More man equals more man. Duh.

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u/Zaza1019 4h ago

It was only manly if you won the wrestling match and got to be on top. :)

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u/InitiativeClassic112 3h ago

I mean a delicious sausage can't hurt you.

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u/ChronoLink99 3h ago

TIL Andrew Tate is Spartan.

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u/TechMaster008 3h ago

they lived their whole lives surrounded by other men they saw as their brothers, so yeah, there was a lot of butt fucking. homosexuality has a very long history in greece, i'd hazard a guess that it's in part due to minoan cultural influence since they were very divergent compared to most indo-european cultures.

generally greeks believed that taking dick made you very feminine, so they prioritized younger and more feminine males for that role, so most examples of homosexuality in antiquity follow that dynamic.

it was seen as a very sophisticated thing to do, as you said, because they saw it as preferrable to dealing with the risk of pregnancy from casual vaginal sex with women. later on it got more an more demonized for the bottom until the practice became being seen as excessive and degenerate

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u/Warm-Professional494 3h ago

Men not as much but young boys yes.

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u/Jhud6669 2h ago

They just liked to rape young boys, if somebody actually liked it up the ass they were considered „lesser” and even killed. Let’s stop romanticizing pederasty, it’s not the same as being actually gay

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u/Mode_Select 2h ago

There's nothing gay about two guys appreciating each others bodies in the warm afterglow of battle. Assplay is just horseplay with extra variables

1

u/RogueNiao 1h ago

Not fully true. "Manly" was being the dominant one in the sexual act. There was a system of grown men sleeping with adolescent males as part of a mentor/societal training mindset, but sex with two adult men was not seen the same way. That's because only one of them could have the dominant role, so sex between two adult men did not go over well, whereas it was "okay" for the adolescent boys to assume the submissive position.

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u/Mammoth_Design_4288 4h ago

And put punisher skulls on their guns

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u/SheWasAHoowah 4h ago

He was gay, Agamemnon?

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u/Novaer 4h ago

They know. They're signaling to other closeted men.

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u/FFBEryoshi 3h ago

They can't even eat bananas in public. Weaklings

1

u/Marvinkmooneyoz 1h ago

I don’t know my ancient history well; was the more prominent gay culture not mostly an Athens thing?

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u/Interesting-Bed-3003 1h ago

Spartans, the most non-straight group of people.

Women had to shave their heads so their husbands would want to have sex with them.

0

u/Loreki 4h ago

The Spartans weren't gay, they were masc tops.

0

u/Suspicious_Cancel416 4h ago

Are you comparing dudes who think they are women and wear nail polish to literal warriors that are shredded and badass?

I think that’s where your logic falls off 

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u/Dark_Pump 6h ago

I love that but maybe they’re more into the pederasty, I mean they do worship a pedophile

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u/Key-Book-7479 6h ago

Comparing Ancient Greek pederastery to Epstein et al is an insult to Ancient Greek pederastery

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u/redlion1904 The Room 6h ago

14

u/RevanchistSheev66 5h ago

Is this the “Are we the Baddies” guy 😲

21

u/Groftsan 5h ago

David Mitchell is a treasure. Try the show Ludwig if you're into murder mysteries. Try the show Would I Lie to You if you like panel comedy.

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u/Danny_nichols 5h ago

Whenever I come across a Bob Mortimer Would I Lie to You clip on social media I stop every time. David's slow march towards madness strictly driven by the absurdity of Bob's stories is gold.

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u/descendingangel87 4h ago

The home dentistry ep where David loses it and just ignores his team because it’s “always” true with Bob is 100% gold.

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u/descartesb4horse 5h ago

Anyone who needs a quick hit of David Mitchell should watch Last One Laughing - I have had his stupid little song stuck in my head for months.

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u/Groftsan 5h ago

FUCKINGHAM?!?

1

u/Grouchy_Morning_1633 1h ago

Very funny comedian. Has some very stupid notions about native languages but very funny.

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u/Ecstatic_Hamster9467 5h ago

Yes, from a different show called Peep Show

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u/Red_Trapezoid 4h ago

That’s hilarious.

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u/Royal_Annek 5h ago

Pederasty was only practiced by the upper class. Gay relationships between equals were normal among the common people.

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u/theCurseOfHotFeet 5h ago

Mmmm, I’d say that’s a little bit of a stretch. Their entire concepts of sexuality were different from ours, the modern idea of a “gay relationship between equals” would have been unfamiliar to them

2

u/masclean 5h ago

They're even pedantic about it

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u/clintgreasewoood 5h ago

6

u/Timekeeper98 5h ago

Why is Epstein built like our lord and savior Billy Herrington?

3

u/ubiquity75 5h ago

The “island” on the right is a classy touch.

1

u/Wild-Lychee-3312 4h ago

Then read “Pounded in My Ass by My Copy of «Pounded in My Ass by My Fear of being a Greek Tingle Stereotype»”

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u/original_username20 5h ago

I mean, there are manosphere influencers who unironically rant about how dating women is essentially gay and men are the more attractive gender.

If Elon and Mel just put some of those deeply closeted dipshits in the writer's room, they'll come up with the most... authentic depiction of ancient Greece ever put on screen, all while convincing themselves it's completely straight

11

u/pzvaldes 5h ago

I'm not gay, I don't even wipe my own butt hole, I hire guys in bars and clubs to clean it for me.

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u/original_username20 4h ago

"Why would you go to the doctor, like a girl, to get your prostate checked by some beta male nerd who did gay shit like reading books and going to college when you can just have one of your gym bros do it right here on the table when we are done recording this alpha male podcast episode about how sex with women lowers your testosterone???"

5

u/Pale-Measurement-532 5h ago

I wonder if they could try and get the Tate brothers off to help out?

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u/AntisocialDick 5h ago

“Get the Tate brothers off”

https://giphy.com/gifs/BpnkuY1i2rBpm

5

u/Pale-Measurement-532 5h ago

They’ll get them off after helping to secure their release.

https://giphy.com/gifs/MuHJcSI9ySLsrNo59Q

3

u/kro23 5h ago

How anyone can claim that men are the more attractive sex is beyond me.

8

u/Current-Author7473 5h ago

Sappho and her friends concur

3

u/Zippereater123 5h ago

LMAO!!! Also, Transgender people are said to have originated from the Greeks. The Spartans had young boy lovers who they were supposed to train. They would live with a young boy who was training to be a Spartan, & their wives would live elsewhere with their kids.

Very freaky people the Greeks.

2

u/Pale-Measurement-532 5h ago

I took a Greek Classics class in university and there were so many references to pedophilia and homosexuality along with sex in general. They were very freaky!

3

u/Fr33Dave 4h ago

They say that the Greeks Invented sex, but it was the French that invented sex with women!

2

u/501uk 4h ago

I was trying to remember a variation of this same joke, I think it had the Greeks credited with inventing sex, and the Romans realising you could also do it with women.

2

u/nickfolesknee 4h ago

I think the original joke was about orgies, but same spirit

2

u/Crotean 4h ago

The Greeks invented the orgy, the Italians brought the women.

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u/Viridien111 5h ago

I just watched the movie last night and I dont even remember there being any gay shit?

1

u/MixGroundbreaking622 5h ago

Their isn't actually much evidence that the ancient Greeks were more accepting of homosexuality than other cultures. Most of the evidence comes from dubious translations where phrases like close bond have been interpreted to mean gay. I'm not aware of much concrete evidence.

1

u/GI581d 5h ago

Damn, how is my underaged son supposed to learn anything from the 52 year old philosopher he’s “studying” under now!?!?

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u/Waste-Anybody-672 4h ago

Ancient Greeks being gay is mostly BS.

1

u/PinkUnicornsRule 4h ago

1

u/501uk 4h ago

I don't see it, they are just roommates

1

u/Financial-Quail5978 4h ago

I don’t think anyone was complaining about gay stuff in the Odyssey

The problem was casting black actors to play Greeks.

1

u/ProfessionalNapperY7 4h ago

That'd be epic, but imagine the budget needed for all those mythical creatures!

1

u/AndreasDasos 4h ago

Side point but pederasty in Ancient Greece was more a classical era thing. Doesn’t seem to have taken off even during Homer’s time yet, let alone when the epics would have been set

1

u/WingstonChurchill 4h ago

The Greeks invented orgies, the Italians just added women.

1

u/ilBolas 4h ago

This is one of the funniest sentences I've read in recent times, thank you

1

u/mybabyrolled 4h ago

In their defense, they dont think what they do is gay. So your filter is useless and you’re about to see some really gay shit.

1

u/Mnawab 3h ago

Did Homer work have gay people in it? Not saying there wasn’t gay people in Greek, but I’m just wondering if there was in his story

1

u/Novel_Mongoose_7161 3h ago

Feckin Greeks. They invented gayness.

1

u/GlassJoe32 2h ago

Hell yeah make it historically accurate like the movie 300. The least gay and most historically accurate movie
ever made.
https://giphy.com/gifs/mSaQosTfrJcI0

1

u/Jhud6669 2h ago

True, because they weren’t gay, they were just boy rapists for power. If you enjoyed bottoming during gay sex you were considered lesser and ridiculed. Let’s stop being all „gotcha” about pederasty

1

u/guy_incognito42069 2h ago

I had a friend talk about the gay problem in the Odyssey. I was dumbfounded, he’s highly educated, in the arts!

1

u/Interesting-Bed-3003 1h ago

Achilles and Patroclus were just best friends roommates who loved to spoon.