If anyone has the emotional capacity, I really need someone to talk to.
This was cycle #6, and the first time I'd seen any sort of line on a pregnancy test. I knew immediately it was faint and not a for-sure thing, but I did get a little excited. I've been meticulously tracking opks, bbt, timing sex, etc. so I knew we had a good shot, and maybe this was the one. Extremely faint lines on two different types of tests 12dpo and 13dpo (this morning). Now spotting, and I'm confident it's over.
I know a chemical pregnancy is nothing compared to an MC further along; still, I'm so heartbroken. My husband has been dealing with my anxiety/sadness every cycle now since cycle #4 (when we both started to freak out a little about how it wasn't happening). He's recently brought up adoption. I know he's also emotionally stretched - and now, I'm so miserable that I'm just avoiding him tonight to avoid bringing him down further. He doesn't seem to mind.
We've been through a lot in the 6 months we've been ttc; we moved internationally for a better quality of life and to start our family (which isn't quite working out). It was a big jump - away from our families and everything familiar. Now that I've lost the first real chance we had, I'm just feeling like a real failure. I don't know how people do this for years on end - I feel like it's consuming my whole life; I don't know how to cope with this anymore.
Any insight or experiences would be greatly appreciated. Thank you