r/mildlyinfuriating • u/Middle-Asparagus-802 • 21d ago
Don't hug me I'm scared Received a kiss on the cheek and then had an allergic reaction to it.
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u/Gregs_reddit_account 21d ago
Haven't seen a case of cooties this bad since the 4th Grade.
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u/bangdoggydog 21d ago
Circle, circle, dot, dot
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u/Surprise-lnside 21d ago
now Iāve got my cootie shot!
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u/ELP90 21d ago
Circle, circle, square, square
Now Iāve got it everywhere!
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u/RedRixen83 21d ago
Omg what is this? A cootie booster shot???
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u/Adal-bern 21d ago
Circle circle knife knife, now i have it all my life. I feel like there were a few others but my brain had difficulty just dredging this one up.
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u/AssIsLifeAssIsLove 21d ago
Circle circle stick stick now I've got it on my asshole.
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u/Sunadoke1 21d ago
Should've gone with "now I got It' on my dick."
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u/marcophony BLACK 21d ago
Was it a lip gloss or a chapstick that you're allergic to?
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u/Middle-Asparagus-802 21d ago
I doubt it as was an old man lol
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u/marcophony BLACK 21d ago
Oh I see you're allergic to old man
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u/Majestic-Sandwich695 21d ago
Allergy or intolerance? Because I for sure have the latter
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u/pierre_x10 21d ago
Why not both?
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u/101forgotmypassword 21d ago
Abit more rare, some people can have old man and just experience discomfort, other have a medical reaction that is more life threatening.
For instance someone highly old man intolerant may be able to live in a household with old man while they take measures to ensure none of the flatmates accidentally share old man with them.
Someone intolerant may have trouble living in a space where someone else uses old man as even a tiny bit of old man residue on cooking or food prep surfaces could trigger a reaction. For instance if a knife is used to butter bread containing old man, that knife may transfer old man residue to the butter that then gets transfered to the old man free toast the intolerant person is cooking, possible triggering a severe reaction.
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u/Oldirtyman 21d ago
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u/Zxruv 21d ago edited 21d ago
It's true. Buddy at work went into anaphylactic shock and he didn't even come into direct contact with old man. Turns out he ate steel cut oatmeal that was processed in the same facility as old man. He ate one spoonful and his throat closed up. š¤·
Edit: sock
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u/No_Raisin21 21d ago
You gonna sit here and tell me Sir Ian Mckellen doesnāt do anything for you?
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u/Professional_Pen_153 21d ago
Depends
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u/MalloryArcher64 21d ago
The punchline to my favorite joke! And I'm so, so sorry for this. "What does eating out an old lady taste like?"
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u/kennidee_lee 21d ago
Maybe itās smth he ate beforehand? He also totally could have put on chapstick, I didnāt think moisturizing lips was gendered? /gen
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u/Of_MiceAndMen 21d ago
My husband is allergic to bananas and once, my kids had some banana for breakfast and then kissed him goodbye for work. He walked back in the door 3 mins later, chipmunk cheeks.
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u/willun 21d ago
Usually that means no bananas in the household.
I like dragon fruit but my wife is allergic to it, so no dragon fruit for me.
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u/Of_MiceAndMen 21d ago
It was a brand new allergy! Heād had bananas plenty of times but a few months prior to the kissing incident, he had a banana smoothy from a take out place and had a mild histamine reaction, we figured it was something in the smoothy (a powder maybe). But when he walked in the door he said āso I guess Iām allergic to bananas now.ā
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u/Sheenzhou 21d ago
Was it an "Old Man" brand of lip gloss im missing here?
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u/sirhackenslash 21d ago
Werthers remnants
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u/Dracoten 21d ago
After shave or cologne would be my guess
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u/KingdomsCryOfficial 21d ago
I've heard of people with melon/peanut/whatever allergies having reactions after getting a kiss or kissing someone who just recently ate the food they're allergic to, so it may have been that as well.
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u/SadIdeal9019 21d ago
Was he Russian, and discretely removed a thin film from his lips sfter kissing you?
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u/CinematicLiterature 21d ago
This is from a movie, I canāt remember which
Edit: WAIT is it poison ivy in the Clooney Batman movie? I think thatās it.
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u/SadIdeal9019 21d ago
Russian security services have a long history of assasination by discretely administering poison to the victim.
Their other well known method is launching the victim out of a high rise window, making a token effort of making it look like an accident or suicide.
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u/amputatedsnek 21d ago
Did he have a stubble? I have mild dermatographism and my ex's stubble made me react like this.
I didn't even know it was dermatographism until last year, thought my skin was just especially sensitive.
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u/Funny_Coat_8201 21d ago
Second this! I get the same rash on my cheek from men stubble, sometimes a beard but I think the prickles from the stubble irritates me more.
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u/One-Visitor 21d ago
Maybe he uses a chapstick. Iām allergic to lanolin which is in chapstick
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u/Kush_Kitty666 21d ago
My partner is allergic to lanolin! Their lips were so sore and they were miserable before figuring it out.
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u/MandatorySaxSolo 21d ago
I have no idea what that is, but my partner was allergic to latex, so I bought sheep skin...when she figured out we were boinking with sheep intestine, that was a no go for some reason
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u/Ultra-Cyborg 21d ago
Could be after shave or cologne, something like that and youāre sensitive to perfumes. I have eczema and my skin freaks out at practically everything, including my own sweat and saliva. Maybe you have eczema š¤·āāļø
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u/Pro-Patria-Mori 21d ago
I had a problem with eczema several years ago and switched to mild soap and laundry detergent. Then a few months ago my dumbass saw that Tide was on sale so bought some and then started breaking out in a rash after washing my clothes. To make matters worse it happened four days before a planned trip to visit my girlfriend who lives in another state.
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u/Eldergild 21d ago
My old man who's an actual boomer wears a lot of chapstick, age doesn't matter. Ask if he uses burts bees, Blistex, and Carmex. I'm allergic to Balsam of Peru and cross reactions can occur for me on these.
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u/PhD_Pwnology 21d ago
You could be allergic to 2-nenonal or something they ate that day.
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u/Eepy_slepy 21d ago
Happened to me once before, accidentally brushed with an old man and my arm suddenly got a terrible allergy reaction. Guess old man allergy is real.
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u/Michalo88 21d ago
Oh my god you forgot to circle, circle, dot, dot.
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u/doragonkuin 21d ago
Didn't get their cootie shot š
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u/Middle-Asparagus-802 21d ago
I like how this rhymes. Is it from a movie or you both just freestyling lol?
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u/subssy34 21d ago
This is ancient lore of the American elementary school playground
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u/doragonkuin 21d ago
This and the Marilyn Manson rib incident.
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u/Low_Environment5807 21d ago
People talk about kids being oversexualized now but I was definitely out there at age 8 talking about Marilyn Manson sucking his own dick, and I didn't even know who Marilyn Manson was
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u/slymgim 21d ago
when i was in first grade, a girl in my class said to me, "chinese, japanese, cut the cheese. look at these" and plumped her nonexistent chest. my mother was not thrilled that afternoon
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u/ProcedureTop1637 21d ago
Similar at my elementary school, but "cut the cheese" was "dirty knees"
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u/idlephase 21d ago
I remember this being accompanied with pulling oneās eyes to be slits up and down
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u/TSL4me 21d ago
Dont foeget the story about the gerbal up someones butt. I forgot who but it was another classic that spanned the entire country.
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u/GloomyLingonberry509 21d ago
The fact that people all the way from Russia to Washington state believed this before the era of the internet is a testament to our shenanigans.
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u/phoenix6R 21d ago
Im not sure where it started but we did this all the time when I was in middle school.
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u/Unlucky-Muscle-9868 21d ago
I've known this since I was in elementary school in the early 2000's
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u/Zakrius 21d ago edited 21d ago
āCircle circle dot dot. Now you have the cootie shot.ā
We would say that while drawing this symbol on the arm with our fingers:
Źā Źā
Itās an elementary school rhyme children in America would use to inoculate each other from contracting the deadly cooties. Itās a (imaginary) germ/disease that was very contagious. You must avoid those who have contracted cooties at all cost. But if you come in contact with someone infected, and you didnāt have a cootie shot, then you now had cooties and you would be shunnedā¦ for the remainder of recess. š
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u/ShortbowVillian 21d ago
Did yall do the āspiders crawling up your spine, cat scratch downā one too??
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u/defiantnoodle 21d ago
It is a childhood playground rhymeĀ
About "cooties"Ā
(source, am also old man)
Also, WOULD NOT have just kissed someone, the way you describe
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u/MostlyMicroPlastic 21d ago
Circle circle square square now you got it everywhere
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u/Mattyice0228 21d ago
Lmfao I just told this to my 5 year old a few days ago because he said he had germs from one of the dogs licking him. Wife and I had a good laugh thinking about the simpler times in elementary school.
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u/P1g-San 21d ago
Bros got cooties šš„
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u/Middle-Asparagus-802 21d ago
I thought cooties only existed in American high school movies š yet here I am
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u/Lillillew 21d ago
My husband was kissed on the cheek by my niece and ended up with impetigo in the shape of where she kissed him. We weren't told she was infectious or that she had school sores until my husband broke out in a rash.
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u/murphyat 21d ago
Good god. I donāt know what impetigo is, and at this point Iām too scared to look it up.
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u/WestElevator1343 21d ago
Be scared. I got this from my husband after he was misdiagnosed with something not contagious. Long story - short, I got it on my face and had to cancel all my clients for weeks.
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u/thejoeface 21d ago
I just looked it up and itās super nasty gross lookingĀ
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u/RaspberryJammm 21d ago
It's usually just something that passes but I got permanently disabled with ME by a strep infection which started off as impetigo. My immune system did not enjoy that.Ā
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u/rolacolapop 21d ago
I got impetigo from my niblings recently , thought Iād picked it up at a hotel and mentioned it to my sister and she was like oh the kids just had that. WTF man, no heads up or anything, I wouldnāt have gone near them if Iād have know.
Iād had it 2 decades earlier after a holiday and the GP kept misdiagnosing and I had it for ages and kinda traumatised me. So when I woke up with it this time I knew exactly what it was and was freaking the f out.
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u/longshlongthankumom 21d ago
I had this on my face for MONTHS when I was a kid. Had no clue what it was and was extremely embarrassed to be at school since it was a golf ball sized circle on my face
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u/Zakrius 21d ago
Was it a guy with a lot of stubble?
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u/Middle-Asparagus-802 21d ago
Honestly I donāt know. It was my momās friend that came to visit. I walked in the kitchen and he just appeared from no where and kissed me on the cheek then I felt immediate burning on my face. So I didnāt get a proper look at him I just ran away š¤£
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u/Subushie 21d ago
Are you allergic to cats?
This has happened to a friend of mine when I'd kiss her on the cheek cuz of my own cat.
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u/tenuj 21d ago
It's such a strange thing to imagine somebody's lips being covered in biological cat material.
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u/Fresh_Income_7411 21d ago
Cat hair is everywhere... everywhere... seriously... everywhere...
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u/yourlocaltouya 21d ago
Cat saliva is what causes allergies and they famously keep clean with their tongues, so it'd be enough to kiss their lil foreheads for trace amounts to remain on your lips or face.
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u/Glum-Department-3988 21d ago
No seriously it could be this, I used to wonder why I would get rashes like this everywhere but it was just because people would have physical contact with me even like hours after they touched a cat or a dog. It just lingers and I am allergic enough I donāt have to see or touch the animal just be near enough to somebody who recently has been.
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u/potato_minion 21d ago
Could it be his aftershave or something he ate?
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u/BlessTheBookPeople 21d ago
Yeah I was thinking something he ate that was still on his mouth. I had a friend who was so allergic to dairy that someone threw a Dorito and it hit her in the cheek and her cheek swelled up.
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u/Pleasant-Ticket3217 21d ago
Thatās some weird shit. Why the kiss? Iād ask what the fuck he had on his lips. Just like that too. Shake him down and make him confess.
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u/solo_d0lo 21d ago
There are a lot of cultures and people within the US that do this when greeting family/close family friends.
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u/Sorry_Ad9101 21d ago
This happens to me with stubble/facial hair as well and the feeling is immediate. Itās ābeard burnā, the result of your skin being pricked by the individual hairs
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u/Spectra_Butane 21d ago
And THIS is why you don't let anybody kiss your newborn baby for Any Reason!
I hope the rash goes away painlessly.
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u/WestElevator1343 21d ago
One of my "fabulous" girlfriends visited me in the hospital and kissed my son on the cheek with lip plumping lip gloss. I couldn't even stop her because I was just a few hours post birth. She definitely was doing it for the gram.
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u/Ill-Main-65 21d ago
Kiss of death
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u/GloomyLingonberry509 21d ago
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u/UnethicalTesticle 21d ago
Old men have some weird mouth biomes. I had a beer with an 80 year old man a couple years ago and a little spit got into my drink when he was talking. I just drank it and moved on. But the next day, I could literally taste his bad breath when I woke up. It plagued me for a good couple months til I got my own normal bacteria back. Sorry, OP. Thatās rough.
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u/Ill-Team-3491 21d ago
Old dudes with bad hygiene that has been festering untreated their entire life. It happened to my dad. He had weird colorations on and in mouth that took years and years to finally convince him to get looked by a doctor. One of the few times in his life he's ever seen a doctor. At certain point basically all of his teeth imploded out of his mouth. Damn things must have held on until they couldn't anymore.
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u/FarTop6263 21d ago
Hey, just wanted to mention something I just learned about: beard oil.
Apparently, a lot of beard oil companies use nut oil in their products, which can be a problem for people with nut allergies, even with minimal contact. So, if you use beard oil, you might want to check the ingredients!!
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u/I_hate_all_of_ewe 21d ago
People here keep talking about aftershave or lip balm, but it could easily have been anything he ate earlier, especially if you have an allergy that responds to even trace amounts.
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u/theoriginal_tay 21d ago
I had a friend in college who was allergic to strawberries and she had a similar reaction when her boyfriend who had eaten strawberries a few hours before kissed her, he didnāt realize how sensitive she was.
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u/Krazy_Granna 21d ago
It could be a food allergy. My grandkids are all so allergic to mango that I canāt kiss them if Iām wearing mango flavored lip balm. They have a reaction just like this. Find out what the kisser had been eating or wearing on their lips and youāll probably have your answer. In the meantime, Benadryl is your new bestie!
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u/AradiaNox 21d ago
Itās just like that urban legend about getting a rash after kissing a cannibal. You could have been his next meal!
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u/kitty_kat_KAPS 21d ago
Complete aside - when was the last time you got your thyroid checked? Might just be the angle, but it seems like it may be swollen. Get it checked just to be sure - I had similar and wound up catching thyroid cancer very very early with a simple surgery taking care of it with no further issues.
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u/Bubblegumgaster 21d ago
Were they wearing some kind of lip balm? Might be allergic to something in it.
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u/bokbokcawcaw 21d ago
I would always have red dry swollen lips after hanging out with a guy I used to see. I always thought it was from too much kissy face. Found out later on I have a propolis (beeswax) allergy
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u/zackthirteen 21d ago
Thatās just your bodyās natural defense mechanism against cooties working as intended
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u/AshTheArtist 21d ago
You:
https://giphy.com/gifs/MHCY3HK7g41wY