I'm trying to come up with duck puns for 'good job' stickers for an upcoming TTRPG character to have as a character quirk, but only have a handful so far;

1) Bill-iant! (Cartoon duck with a big cartoon brain)

2) Speck-quack-ular! (Cartoon duck giving a thumbs up)

3) Good job l'lard! (Cartoon duck with a monocle)

4) Flock star! (Cartoon duck shredding on a lute)

5) Better to-feather! (Two cartoon ducks high-fiving)

6) Swim-pressive! (Cartoon duck with a snorkel underwater)

Does anyone have any other good duck puns to use?

I think this is a jewel of a joke, I just can't find a proper rhythm to it.

My dog is not very intelligent. You'd think with all the free time it has that it would try harder to improve its 1-36 record against me in chess.

I feel that it could either be more succinct, so that it ends with a nice pop or that it's a little longer by building up how dumb the dog is so that the punch hits a little harder after the buildup.

Prosecutor: Your honor i arrest my case.

My case: what the hell did i do wrong your honor

Mr horse: on-er, is that like a person who turns on light switch. I must say it is financially irresponsible but i do admire the effort toward employment opportunities. I mustouche is there an off-er.

Itlian mob alternative peron: I refuse the offer

Nerdy Mcdork Pants: no dont re-fuse The Offer(rocket used for threat ing in negotiations).

Mr horse: i actually like really like uhhh nerdy guys…like actually

I think it feels predictable. Does anyone else have any suggestions

He said it was, "unbereavable."

Catholic priests be giving babies them holy showers the same way R Kelly be giving them golden showers

I love cheese. The more exotic and intense the smell, the better. That’s probably why I also like to sniff strangers’ socks.

He was was able to revel without a Claus.

What is a pickles favorite shoe?

Gherkinstocks

Working on my best man speech for my brothers wedding, having trouble making this funny, I feel like somethings missing or I can not figure out which one will get the biggest laugh (of course delivery is important) Could use some advice please

1) Good evening everyone, Im G , one of N's best men and yes one of his taller brothers…don’t worry .,.N got all the other good qualities were just still trying to figure out which ones

2) Good evening everyone. For those of you that don’t know me… my name is G , and I am one of N's best men. And yes… the rumors are true…… I am also one of his taller brothers (Background, we are 3 brothers, the brother getting married is the middle brother, and the shortest brother)

​My dad and I are best friends.

​I mean, we were… until he slept with my mistress.

​A real friend wouldn’t do that.

​Honestly, I can’t trust anyone anymore… not even in this joke.

​Question: Does the "mistress" reveal work well to show I'm also cheating, or is it too subtle? Also, how is the meta-ending?

He says it is a common dishease? He has a treatment but if I'm cured I will be disheased?

But I said, it’s not that bazar!

Three men travel to Lourdes looking to be cured in the natural healing spring water at the monastery.

The priest standing by the water tells the first man to approach the pool, saying "My child, what is it that ails you?"

The man replies, "Father, for 10 years now I have suffered a chesty cough, no doctor or medicine has made a difference." The priest says, "My son, bathe yourself in the blessed waters, have faith and you shall be healed".

The second man approaches. "Father, I have suffered chronic back pain and spasms for 20 years now, please can you help!".

The priest says, "Bathe yourself in the blessed waters, have faith and you shall be healed".

The third man approaches. The priest asks, "My child, what is it that ails you?"

The man replies, "Father, I lost my right leg in combat last year, I come seeking to become whole again by the grace of God!".

The priest looks at the man and says, "OK, the pool is good but it can't perform miracles."

Working on this joke and can't seem to find a short, concise way to get to the punchline. It can be a decent pun if I don't ramble on too long and lose the audience. Maybe someone here can help?:

I dated a girl who would storm off every time we got into an argument. I was curious as to where she was going, so one night I followed her. I THOUGHT I was being really sneaky about it, but then I got a call from her on my phone. She said, "If you don't turn around right now, your family's going to reading your Death Note tomorrow!" I was impressed that she caught me, mad at the death threat, and annoyed because "death note" isn't the right term in this context, so I just said, "Oh bitch, you WARY!" and hung up. Edit: "oh bitch, you WARY!" Sounds like "obituary"

I used to hike in Tennessee, but now I only hike in Florida. It’s less of an uphill battle.

i wanna make a joke about walter white throwing his pizza on his roof and then say its "on the house" nd I wanna post it in r/okbuddychicanery . I've been thinking along the lines of "Why was Walt upset about wasting money a pizza, it was on the house" but idk if it works. do you know some other ways I can make the joke. I'm thinking it can be a one liner and be a "why" question but it doesn't necessarily have to be.

It’s the mooost wonderful CRIME of the yeeeeeearrr

Something like, “I wouldn’t bet my life on it, but I’d gladly wager the life of another” that fully expresses both uncertainty and the cavalier regard for the health and well being of others. Maybe it’s a punchline for a joke about a political/historical figure or something.

Ok so it's a science joke and also a Christmas joke that is a send up of a famous scene from the movie Christmas Vacation

Punchline goes like this:

So the Higgs-Boson looks at him and says, "you serious, Quark?"

Need help with the set up. Willing to split IP 50/50. It's possible that I am high AF and this isn't actually funny if so please ignore.

Be careful, too much wind and they turn into ICE

Did you hear about the ghost at the haunted punk music club? It gave everyone the Ceebee Geebees