r/imsorryjon 1d ago

Garfield Bites It (wip - P19) novella, my writing

14 Upvotes

I might trim some of this down later. Or not, idk yet. Who's going to be left standing at the end? How many killers are there, really? How much motivation can I muster to even finish this thing? Lol, I kinda feel like Orson in doing this project - just talking to ghosts...

Part 1:

https://www.reddit.com/r/imsorryjon/s/6Hu9JRNaVp

Part 2:

https://www.reddit.com/r/imsorryjon/s/x2SkrpW4Lr

Part 3:

https://www.reddit.com/r/imsorryjon/s/6D1A5SCKb4

Part 4:

https://www.reddit.com/r/imsorryjon/s/g2H0Nmud2c

Part 5:

https://www.reddit.com/r/imsorryjon/s/oot7UjJzsF

Part 6:

https://www.reddit.com/r/imsorryjon/s/5WX68oFobj

Part 7:

https://www.reddit.com/r/imsorryjon/s/qlIeF3BUlw

Part 8:

https://www.reddit.com/r/imsorryjon/s/FsMC5hmnVk

Part 9:

https://www.reddit.com/r/imsorryjon/s/WFuUGN5Cda

Part 10:

https://www.reddit.com/r/imsorryjon/s/psO6xHHuCo

Part 11:

https://www.reddit.com/r/imsorryjon/s/zOCsk610EB

Part 12:

https://www.reddit.com/r/imsorryjon/s/uOT4zgkMX6

Part 13:

https://www.reddit.com/r/imsorryjon/s/RZb6FjWGH7

Part 14:

https://www.reddit.com/r/imsorryjon/s/jiDMApTjvF

Part 15:

https://www.reddit.com/r/imsorryjon/s/ixDDF8TOOk

Part 16:

https://www.reddit.com/r/imsorryjon/s/XvqE4ywRSA

Part 17:

https://www.reddit.com/r/imsorryjon/s/w6BegqSNv1

Part 18:

https://www.reddit.com/r/imsorryjon/s/wKXWlfFhfA


 

“You didn’t bring Arbuckle”, declares a voice from somewhere unseen.  It’s the same deep, distorted voice Orson and Furrow had heard on the phone.  “That’s a little disappointing.  I’ll tell you what, though – you can still have the sheep.  I’m done with them, anyway.”  Orson and Furrow shift closer to each other, standing back-to-back as they anxiously search their surroundings for the source of the voice.  Orson holds the storybook with both hands now, poised to open it at a moment's notice.  “I’ll take the badger, though.”  Furrow tenses up a bit, keeping as keen as he can manage, despite his fear and pain.  Orson cracks the book open just enough to see the page he’s had his finger on all the while.  He begins whispering something, and Furrow seems to notice.  Something stirs in the shadows by the refrigerator.  Furrow looks in that direction, but Orson keeps his eyes on the book.  A gloved hand emerges from the dark, and swings open the refrigerator door.  Like what Bo had found earlier, clear plastic bags of hacked up body parts spill out.  One bag breaks, letting blood out onto the otherwise meticulously cleaned floor.  “Oops”, teases the distorted voice, “and after I went to all the trouble of tidying up.  Oh well.  I would have had to clean all over again, anyway.  Here’s that mutton I promised.”

 

Orson’s voice grows louder, as he comes to the end of a line, narrating, “‘none can match me’, declared Robin Hood!  ‘I could strike the bull’s-eye blind!’  And so he did!”  At this, Dr. Furrow is transformed like magic.  He takes on the iconic role of Robin Hood, bow and arrow materializing in his hands.  As if by second nature, Furrow does loose an arrow into the shadow beside the fridge.  It might have been a direct hit, were his target merely an object.  Instead, an agile figure rolls out of the darkness and springs to their feet.  Orson adds, “much to the delight of his Merry Men!”  Upon reading the line, Orson suddenly multiplies, manifesting a dozen copies of himself in period costumes, scattered about the area.  The garage begins to transform into a scene of Sherwood Forest.  Furrow draws another arrow, taking aim at the mysterious attacker, who can now be seen in broad daylight.  They are of stout proportions- not unlike Orson- dressed in all black, and equipped with the same giant knife that had killed Bo.  Their head is covered by a balaclava.  Furrow lets his arrow fly once more, but the foe is too spry, and dodges again with a sidestep.  Before Furrow can draw the next, the attacker sprints toward Orson, who’s busy flipping pages.  Thinking fast, Furrow puts himself between them, grimacing as the quick motion pulls at his wound.  The attacker jukes to the side at the last second, and Furrow tries to dive in the same direction, causing the wound to tear further.  “Just when all hope seemed lost, Little John and Friar Tuck arrived, having graduated from ninja school!”

 

“What?!”, the attacker balks.  They jump back a step, just in time to defend from the two ninjas who drop from the trees.  The ninjas come down with bo-staffs, but the enemy is quick enough to block with their knife.  The Merry Men cautiously surround the enemy from all sides, while they and the two ninjas struggle against each other.  “That’s not-!...  There’s no ninjas in Robin Hood!”

 

Orson at last turns to face the foe, declaring as he points to the open page, “there are in this version.  It says so, right here.  If you’ve been spying on us, then you should know that we try to keep things fresh around here.  For the kids, that means making some exciting new revisions to these played out classics.”  The Merry Men manage to disarm and grab the enemy, holding them still, however they struggle.

 

“But it’s all wrong!”, the foe complains.  “And don’t think for a second you can out-cheat me!”

 

Orson walks toward the immobilized murderer, demanding, “who are you?  Who are you working with?  What do you hope to get out of killing us all?”

 

“Heh!  Not all, Orson.  Just the hangers-on.  Some of you are still useful!  It’s only a matter of pragmatism.  It’s nothing petty or personal.”  Orson comes within arm’s reach of the killer, and they struggle once more to wrestle free of the Merry Men.

 

“Well I think it’s both of those things”, Orson contradicts.  He grabs the top of the balaclava.  “But don’t worry – I’m not going to kill you.  I need you alive, and you are going to cooperate, or suffer.”  At that, he yanks off the balaclava, revealing the face of his foe… and he gasps.  Orson drops the storybook, and stumbles backward in breathless shock.  The enemy bears the face of Bo.  Or rather, wears the face of Bo.

 

The mouth, sewn shut, does not move as the killer snaps back, “I was about to say the same to you!”  The scenery begins to change back to the garage, and the Merry Men, along with all the costumes and props from the story, start to fade.  The enemy is able to pull free from the translucent characters, and they kick the storybook into Orson’s face, causing a gusher of a nosebleed.  Wasting no time, they dash for the door on the north side of the garage, beside the fridge.  They stop in the doorway, turning partway around to cruelly taunt, “at least I got one more interloper out of the way!  And in case you still had any doubt, you were right to guess that I’m not alone in this.”  A car engine can be heard starting outside, and headlights can be seen though the open door.  They add, “it’s not too late for John, at least.  Hand him over willingly, and I may be able to reach my endgame without him having to die.”  The foe takes off, and Orson can barely see with eyes watering, and high beams casting their blinding light straight-on into the door.  A car door can be heard closing.  The engine revs, and the vehicle pulls away with haste.  Orson is left utterly stunned.

 

A soft, breathy groan turns Orson’s attention to Dr. Furrow, who lies bleeding on the floor.  “Oh god, no!”  Orson shuffles over on hands and knees, coming to kneel over his injured friend.  “Dr. Furrow!  I’m so sorry!  Oh my god, this is all my fault!  I shouldn’t have taken you with me for this!”

 

“Nonsense”, Furrow coughs out.  “I wouldn’t have let you go alone.  There isn’t much time, now…”  Furrow wheezes and gasps.  His bandaging is thoroughly soaked in blood.  Orson feels helpless, as he continues, “so listen well.  I believe you have all the tools… you need.  And I believe John is one of those tools.  The moment I received Roy’s note, my hopes ran high.  This would be the day.. I finally crack the mystery.  I’m… not sure I can explain it in words, but… it has something to do with, hunger.”  Furrow coughs again.

 

Orson fights through strong emotions to utter, “hunger?”

 

Furrow clarifies, “a deficit… of the soul.  Or something the like.  There is no perfect word for it.  Roy’s camera may have captured something crucial, when Booker was… recording.  Oof…  It’s time.”

 

“It’s time?  T-time for what?”, Orson chokes out, worried he already knows the answer.

 

“If you would indulge me… in one final experiment”, Furrow requests.

 

Orson obliges, “anything!”

 

Furrow’s voice grows weaker now, pleading, “Orson… could we be friends?”

 

Orson frantically replies, “of course!  Of course!  Oh, Dr. Furrow, I never thought of you as anything less!”

 

“Then please, call me Edward”, Furrow nearly whispers.

 

“Of course”, Orson agrees, “I could even call you Eddy!  L-like a nickname!  Familiar.  I-i-informal!...”

 

(Furrow sees standing over him, a feral pig.  It squeals and grunts, deeply upset.  Furrow smiles, and laughs.  “I can’t hear a word, Orson!  I’m sure of it, now.  I am fulfilled.  I don’t need anything else…  I’m-…  I’m no longer hungry.”)

 

Orson takes shaky breaths.  He is knelt in a small pool of blood.  His friend is gone.  Orson stands, and steadies his breath.  “Earlier this very day, the one I loved most was asked to help with routine chores.  Bo, the sheep, was enjoying his day off.  But things were getting strange at US Acres.  It was a request I would regret for the rest of my life.  After all, the chores didn’t even matter.  Meanwhile, Lanolin was still in her converted garage home.”  At that mention, half of the bags that had spilled out of the fridge, roll back up inside it, and the fridge door closes.  Orson beholds this, realizing, “but she was already dead…  Either she wasn’t my brothers’ killer, or she had been double-crossed by some coconspirators…  Okay.  Roy drove the truck up to the guesthouse, to ask Bo for his help.”  Orson walks over to the south side doorway, and sees a translucent, spectral version of the truck, and Roy.  The fictional Roy is talking to a projection of Bo.  After a moment, the ghostly Bo urgently jogs over toward the garage, while Roy drives away, gradually disappearing as the truck gets further away from Orson. 

 

Bo reaches the open door, and announces, “sis, I’m coming in!  I’m sorry if-!...”  Bo lets himself inside, but finds the garage dark and silent.  Eyes watering from the horrors of his own imagination, he pleadingly calls into the darkness, “sis?...  Lanolin, please…  Lanolin?...”

 

Orson reveals himself, greeting, “Bo?”

 

Confused, Bo replies, “Orson?  Like what are you doing in here?  I thought you needed us to cover you for some-…  Oh man, what reeks?”  Bo covers his nose, looks around, then spots the bags of gore that didn’t return themselves to the fridge.  “Wait, I’ve seen this before…  I’ve smelled this before!”

 

Orson attempts to soothe, “Bo, Bo, I need you to stay calm.  You’re right – you have been here before.  But, I wasn’t…

 

Bo contradicts, memory flooding back, “yes you were…  It was you.  It was YOU!  How could you, man?  How could you?!”  Bo shoves Orson back onto his back.

 

Even more confused, Orson puzzles, “w-what?  What are you talking about?  I was-!...”

 

“You KILLED HER!”, Bo accuses.

 

“What?  Me?!”, Orson balks, scooting back on his butt.

 

Bo steps closer, standing threateningly over Orson as he continues, “and then you killed me!  I remember it all, now!  Why?!  I loved you!”

 

Orson shakes his head, heartbroken by such an accusation.  “No!  No, Bo, I would never do something like that!  Why would you think I did any of this?  I loved you, too…  I still do…”

 

Bo growls, “I saw you!  You murdered my sis, you chopped her to bits, and then you wore her like a costume!  You’re sick!  You thought the disguise would hide the truth, but I could see you inside her skin.  Through the mouth hole…  I could see your pink, piggy muzzle.  To think I used to kiss that face…  And what’s this all about, huh?  You wanna torture me with this memory like some kind of sadist, man?”

 

Orson pleadingly denies, “Bo, it wasn’t me!  How could you believe I-?… I-…”  Seeing Orson’s dire expression, Bo is slightly disarmed, and relaxes his aggressive posture.

 

Entertaining that there might be some other explanation, Bo challenges, “well if it wasn’t you then who else could it be?  You’re the only pig around here, ‘cept for your brothers.  But they’re all too big.  You’re the only one who’s just the right size.  Orson, I wanna believe it wasn’t you…  I really want to believe that.  Help me believe it.”  Orson stands up slowly, pain from his many injuries becoming unignorable.

 

“Look at me”, he implores.  “I’m beat all to hell!  I’ve been trying to figure out what’s really going on around here all day.  I’ve been stabbed in the foot, had poison thrown at me, I was hit in the shin by a golf cart, and had my ear split in two with a big knife!  And look…”  Orson points out Dr. Furrow’s body on the floor.  Bo reflexively recoils at the sight, having not even noticed it since he arrived.  “We’ve lost another friend, too.  And you wouldn’t know this, but the Weasel made off with all of the chickens, and killed three.  Roy and I were able to save the rest, and wound up killing the Weasel in self-defense…  This has been the worst day of my entire life.”

 

Bo’s expression softens, but he still wonders, “well… if it wasn’t you I saw, then who could it have been?”

 

Orson answers, “you said it was a pig- my size- and when it happened, I was nearly two miles away, busy with a nonstop barrage of horrors…  Your killer, and the Weasel, both used a huge knife, and the Weasel had been gifted a brand-new golf cart, with a trailer, and large dog kennels.  I think…  I think that maybe, Aloysius did this.  I think he might be your-…”  Orson can’t hold from sobbing any longer.  He falls into Bo, wrapping his arms around the ghost of his dearest friend and partner.  Bo catches him, and embraces him back.  “He took you away from me!”, he sobs into Bo’s shoulder.  “And I’ll destroy him for it!”, he adds.

 

Bo apologizes, “oh, man…  I can’t believe I let myself think it was you.  I’m sorry, man.  I believe you.  There’s no way you’d have done this.  I-I just-…  I didn’t know about everything that was goin’ on.  I only saw what I saw, you know?”  Orson suddenly feels something wet.  He takes a step back, and sees to his horror, that Bo’s wounds from his murder have manifested.  Bo groans – not in the same degree of pain as when the stabbing and slashing actually happened, but deeply uncomfortable.  “Aw, jeeze…  I think it’s time for me to go.  Heh, wish I coulda been any more help.”

 

Orson takes Bo’s hands in his, and assures, “you’ve been more help than anyone could ever ask for.  And I’ll make sure it wasn’t for nothing.  There’s still Wade, and the kids, and Roy, and John.  There’s still the farm.  There are still the chickens…  It’ll never be enough for me, without you, Bo.  But I’ll protect them all, just the same.  I love you, Bo.”  Bo’s hands grow more transparent, and Orson’s phase right though them.

 

With a soft expression- a satisfied smile- Bo farewells, “hey, I love you too, man.  Stay groovy, Orson.”  Orson merely blinks, and he’s alone again.  All is as it was before he narrated Bo’s ghost into being.  He takes a deep breath, and one last look at Furrow’s body, then marches outside with purpose.

 



r/imsorryjon 4d ago

Non-Garfield Weekend (OC) I'm sorry Jimothy

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391 Upvotes

Our boy is feeling snacky


r/imsorryjon 5d ago

Non-Garfield I'm sorry mickey

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615 Upvotes

r/imsorryjon 5d ago

The Resurrection of Jon

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237 Upvotes

r/imsorryjon 9d ago

I’ll keep you in a special place, Jon

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83 Upvotes

r/imsorryjon 10d ago

a render of garfield.

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66 Upvotes

r/imsorryjon 11d ago

Non-Garfield I'm sorry, Nugget.

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58 Upvotes

Non-Garfield weekend? Don't you mean... TWIDDLEFINGER WEEKEND?


r/imsorryjon 11d ago

A little behind the scenes video of my art process for my Garfield Eldrazi (It that Betrays) card (by CHOGRIN)

Enable HLS to view with audio, or disable this notification

82 Upvotes

r/imsorryjon 12d ago

Garfield Bites It (wip - P18) novella, my writing

4 Upvotes

Someone is going to die. Who's the next target? What does Orson have up his sleeve? What is Dr. Furrow's theory about sentient animal perception? What is our practically catatonic cartoonist working on?

Part 1:

https://www.reddit.com/r/imsorryjon/s/6Hu9JRNaVp

Part 2:

https://www.reddit.com/r/imsorryjon/s/x2SkrpW4Lr

Part 3:

https://www.reddit.com/r/imsorryjon/s/6D1A5SCKb4

Part 4:

https://www.reddit.com/r/imsorryjon/s/g2H0Nmud2c

Part 5:

https://www.reddit.com/r/imsorryjon/s/oot7UjJzsF

Part 6:

https://www.reddit.com/r/imsorryjon/s/5WX68oFobj

Part 7:

https://www.reddit.com/r/imsorryjon/s/qlIeF3BUlw

Part 8:

https://www.reddit.com/r/imsorryjon/s/FsMC5hmnVk

Part 9:

https://www.reddit.com/r/imsorryjon/s/WFuUGN5Cda

Part 10:

https://www.reddit.com/r/imsorryjon/s/psO6xHHuCo

Part 11:

https://www.reddit.com/r/imsorryjon/s/zOCsk610EB

Part 12:

https://www.reddit.com/r/imsorryjon/s/uOT4zgkMX6

Part 13:

https://www.reddit.com/r/imsorryjon/s/RZb6FjWGH7

Part 14:

https://www.reddit.com/r/imsorryjon/s/jiDMApTjvF

Part 15:

https://www.reddit.com/r/imsorryjon/s/ixDDF8TOOk

Part 16:

https://www.reddit.com/r/imsorryjon/s/XvqE4ywRSA

Part 17:

https://www.reddit.com/r/imsorryjon/s/w6BegqSNv1


While John is still entirely transfixed upon the TV show, Furrow asserts, “everyone, let’s please calm down.  Roy is right, in that we came here to show John the TV program, and that we cannot linger.  We’ve got the information we needed, and- thanks to Booker’s clever thought- we may have captured yet another clue!  No time to review it right now, though.”

 

Orson agrees, “yeah, we should get a move-on.  Back to the big-barn.  Ma-…  Maybe Bo is back there right now, wondering where we all went.”  All but John look to Orson, whose tone was less than convincingly hopeful.

 

(John, meanwhile, is still enveloped in the TV show.  He thinks to himself, “*that’s me.  People have been watching my life for entertainment…  It’s like that movie – The Truman Show.  Except I’m not the star.  It’s Garfield.  I’ve never heard his voice before, but I have no doubt that that’s it.  It’s as familiar as my own mom and dad’s.  And Odie…  Everyone thinks they’ve seen a dog smile, but this is different.  I’ve never actually seen his face this way, but I’m certain it’s really his.  I remember this day…  It’s no reenactment – this really happened…*”  On the screen, Odie and Garfield are urgently jumping up and down before John, like excitable children, pointing to something off-screen.  Odie arfs and yips, while Garfield frantically tries to explain a situation with his apparently telepathic voice.  “*I knew they were trying to tell me something!  Gosh, don’t I look a fool.*”  On the show, frustrated, Garfield and Odie resort to grabbing John by the hand, and pulling him in the direction they’ve been trying to indicate.  As they pull him along on the TV, the real John looks down at his left hand again, and another rumble sounds out.  The on-screen Garfield looks to the camera, and delivers some snarky quip, drawing John’s attention to the TV again.  He smiles weakly, and remarks internally, “*he is really funny.  Just like Roy said.*”)

 

Suddenly, the half-working phone on the bedside table… rings.  Orson nearly jumps out of his skin.  All but John sharply turn their attention to the phone.  Initially they gasp, but then they dare not breathe.  It rings again, and they all flinch.  Wade’s eyes begin to water, knees buckling in fear beneath him.  He’s so petrified, he can only whimper.  Orson attempts to reassure, “guys, don’t panic.  It could just be Aloysius.”  The phone rings again.  “Or somebody from The Network…”  It rings again.  “Or heck, a wrong number!”

 

Roy points out, “it’s too late for anything like that!  And we’ve never gotten a call from a wrong number.”  The phone rings again.

 

Furrow approaches Orson, warning, “Orson, I would be very careful about answering that phone.”  It rings again.  Now standing right beside Orson, by the open window, he adds, “it’s been too many rings.  An ordinary call would have stopped ringing by now.”  Just then, lights go on in the garage just north of the guesthouse, which both Furrow and Orson notice with surprise.  The phone rings again.  Orson pulls a brave, determined face, and picks up the receiver. 

 

Looking down at the garage from the window, Orson greets in a serious tone, “hello?”

 

“The sheep are in the garage”, declares a distorted voice.  It’s quiet enough in the room that Furrow can hear the message as well.  “Both of them.  I’ll trade you for Arbuckle.  You can come and get them, or leave me to clean up in here – all by myself, as usual.”  The mystery caller hangs up.  Orson stands and stares out the window.  For just an instant, he sees a silhouetted figure move across one of the garage windows.  The receiver falls from his hand.

 

Furrow urges, “do NOT fall for this obvious trap, Orson!  If you go into that garage, I am certain you’ll be ambushed, and you know it, too.  I’m sorry, Orson… but I would bet my last dollar that Bo, and Lanolin, are both gone.”

 

Orson argues, “unless that was Lanolin.”

 

Furrow implores, “beg pardon?”

 

Orson explains, “if Lanolin really did kill my brothers, or anyone else, and if that was her on the phone, then… Bo could still be alive.  She could be using him as bait.  Sure, it’s definitely a trap, but that doesn’t mean I can just run away without knowing… if I could have saved him.”

 

Roy insists, “Orson, please.  I’m sorry, but I think Dr. Furrow is right.  Besides, you’re not really going to trade one life for another.  If you’re smart, you won’t even think of taking John down there with you.  If you’re really smart, you’ll get in the truck with us and hightail it out of here, now!”

 

Orson asserts, “no, I would never bargain with a cold-hearted killer.  But I’m not leaving yet, either.  The worst thing that can happen to a conspirator, is for their plans to backfire.  They can plan for us to take the bait, and they can certainly plan for us to run.  But they can’t plan for us to turn the tables.  This may be our only chance to catch them.  Someone’s in that garage, right now.  Someone alive.  Even if it’s not THE killer, it’s somebody involved in the operation – whatever that may be.”

 

The group all mull over the situation in their heads for a moment, before Dr. Furrow figures, “well… the enemy knows where we are, clearly.  So it’s true, they could easily have planned on us taking to the truck.  Running away may be just as much a trap as going to the garage.  Maybe Orson has a point.”  Glancing to Booker, and then to the camcorder in Roy’s hands, Furrow adds, “I think enough pieces of the puzzle have been collected.  We should have everything we need to uncover the mystery of sentient animal perception.  And I am not afraid.  I’ll go with you to the garage, Orson.”  Orson’s face shows a glimmer of hope.  Furrow then instructs, “turn off the television.  I have an idea, but Roy, it would need for you to be quite brave.”

 

Roy questions, “me?  Why?  What do you want me to do?  Cause I’ll tell you right now, I’m NOT going into that garage!”  (Meanwhile, Booker turns off the TV, leaving John blinking at a blank screen, practically in a stupor.)

 

Furrow explains, “you won’t have to.  Orson and I will go to the garage.  You, will flee in the truck, heading back to the barn.”

 

Roy sighs with relief, “phew!  I thought you wanted me to help you chase down some crazed killers or something.  Besides, I’m eager to get the kids out of here.”

 

Furrow clarifies, “well, no, I don’t need you to chase anyone… but you won’t necessarily be ‘safe’, on this task.  And you’ll be going alone.  Essentially, you’ll be our bait.  The enemy might see the truck leaving, and assume that we’ve all tried to flee.  That’s why I wanted the TV off as well.  In that case, they might chase after you, leaving the others safe in here, while Orson and I check the garage.  They can’t have planned for us to run, to hide in place, AND to take the garage bait all at once.”

 

Roy considers the idea, then accepts, “okay, let’s do it your way.  If I get all the way to the big-barn without any trouble, I’ll turn right around and come back.  If I don’t come back in 20 minutes, assume something’s happened, and get out of here on Bo’s tractor if you can.  And you guys better not let anything happen to those kids.”

 

Orson promises, “we won’t.  I may be injured, but I’m not alone…”  He glances to Dr. Furrow, and adds, “and I’m not unarmed.”  Orson grabs the storybook and tucks it under his arm, patting it as if he means to say that the book is, itself, his weapon.  Roy skeptically tilts his head, then resigns to the plan with a shrug…

 

Orson and Furrow creep around the north side of the house, and peek around the corner.  They watch as truck shrinks into the distance, lights bouncing like before on the bumpy dirt road.  They give each other a look and a nod, then silently sneak over to the garage.  Standing before the door, they listen carefully for any sounds coming from inside.  The lights are still on, rays pouring through the nearby window.  There is no noise to speak of.  “Nobody’s gone after Roy, as far as I can tell”, Orson whispers.  “Was this a mistake?  What if they know that the truck was only a diversion?  What if they know the others are still in the house, and alone?”

 

Furrow quietly assures, “the whole point of the plan was to split the enemy’s attention.  You said it before – this may be our only chance to catch them, whoever they are.  John, Wade, and the boys are as safe as we can keep them.  Now… are you sure you need the book?  I worry it may slow you down, and I can’t compensate for any speed you lack.”

 

Orson explains, “I can tell stories without it, but the written word is more powerful.  I’ve got my finger between the right pages, so I can open it up as soon as I need to…  Are you ready?”

 

Furrow nods, returning, “and you?”  Orson nods affirmatively.  Furrow puts his hand on the doorknob.

 

(Meanwhile, up in Bo’s bedroom, John and the others are severely anxious.  John looks shell-shocked – sitting with knees tucked into his chest, eyes wide, expression blank.  Suddenly, gracefully, his hand rises into the air before him.  It’s as if it’s being lifted by some outside force.  Wade and the boys notice as John seems to be helped up to his knees by this force, pulling on his left hand.  The animals are silent, exchanging very confused looks.  John stands, but his face doesn’t change.  It’s as if he’s in a trance.  Like a zombie, he shuffles over to the bedside table, and grabs the notepad and pen.  He sits down again, back  against the wall directly under the window, such that the moonlight coming through does fall upon the paper.  Booker wonders, keeping his voice low, “what’s he doing?  Is he all loopy again?”

 

Wade replies, “I don’t know, eh-but I don’t think he’s dangerous or anything.  He’s just really unwell right now.”  John begins writing.  He’s writing fairly fast, though his expression appears thoughtless.  Booker slowly walks over to see what he’s working on.  John doesn't react when he pokes his head under John’s arm, and looks at the notepad.  Booker’s eyes reveal great fascination with this impromptu project…)

 

(Roy checks his rearview mirrors, watching out for any potential chasers.  “*Nobody on my tail*”, he thinks to himself.  “*I know they’ve got a vehicle around here somewhere – they just have to.  If they could catch Orson’s brothers that fast, they must have taken a car, or a golf cart like the one they gave the Weasel.  They wouldn’t have anticipated those three coming around, so they wouldn’t have been here, on the property, just waiting for them.  They’d have come from somewhere off the farm, and nobody could have moved that quickly on foot.*”  The big-barn comes into view up ahead, as the truck crests a small hill.  He remarks aloud, “they better not be waiting in the barn.  Actually, you know what?  I hope they ARE waiting for us!  Cause they’ll get nothin’ but Roy!  I can do this on my own.  People are gonna see that – it’s only a matter of time.”)

 

Furrow turns the handle and cracks the door, then Orson kicks it the rest of the way open, and the two dive to either side of it, in case of any waiting ambush.  Light shines out through the open doorway, but nothing moves, or makes any noise.  Furrow and Orson lock eyes from opposite sides, then both peek inside.  They see nothing particularly out of order, but both notice a smell.  “*Blood*”, Furrow thinks to himself.

 

Simultaneously, Orson observes, “*…and cleaning chemicals…*”  Like a pair of loose cannon cops on a cheesy TV show, the pair leap into the garage, bracing themselves for an attack from any angle.  After a moment, nothing has happened, and the two have scanned the area for any movement, but found none.  They both relax their bodies, and Furrow grabs at his stab wound with a stifled gasp.  Orson worries, “Dr. Furrow!  Shoot, I forgot about your wound.”

 

Furrow insists, “I’m fine…”  Lifting his hand from his abdomen, the bandaging around his midsection shows blood soaking through.  The bleeding had been controlled with the supplies from the veterinary first-aid kit, but, as he explains, “I had forgotten, myself.  I moved a bit too aggressively just then.  Don’t get distracted.  You could smell the blood in here too, couldn't you?”


Part 19:

https://www.reddit.com/r/imsorryjon/s/47Tfnl7zPV


r/imsorryjon 12d ago

Jason likes the Garf (Jason cosplay by u/I_didsomething75)

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50 Upvotes

r/imsorryjon 13d ago

Garfield X Evangelion (Original art by u/mothergarfield)

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206 Upvotes

r/imsorryjon 14d ago

Garfield in AD30000

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100 Upvotes

r/imsorryjon 15d ago

I don't care how much the lasagna costs, Jon

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88 Upvotes

r/imsorryjon 16d ago

Garfield Bites It (wip - P17) novella, my writing

9 Upvotes

Man, what to say? Working on this project has been absolute murder.

Part 1:

https://www.reddit.com/r/imsorryjon/s/6Hu9JRNaVp

Part 2:

https://www.reddit.com/r/imsorryjon/s/x2SkrpW4Lr

Part 3:

https://www.reddit.com/r/imsorryjon/s/6D1A5SCKb4

Part 4:

https://www.reddit.com/r/imsorryjon/s/g2H0Nmud2c

Part 5:

https://www.reddit.com/r/imsorryjon/s/oot7UjJzsF

Part 6:

https://www.reddit.com/r/imsorryjon/s/5WX68oFobj

Part 7:

https://www.reddit.com/r/imsorryjon/s/qlIeF3BUlw

Part 8:

https://www.reddit.com/r/imsorryjon/s/FsMC5hmnVk

Part 9:

https://www.reddit.com/r/imsorryjon/s/WFuUGN5Cda

Part 10:

https://www.reddit.com/r/imsorryjon/s/psO6xHHuCo

Part 11:

https://www.reddit.com/r/imsorryjon/s/zOCsk610EB

Part 12:

https://www.reddit.com/r/imsorryjon/s/uOT4zgkMX6

Part 13:

https://www.reddit.com/r/imsorryjon/s/RZb6FjWGH7

Part 14:

https://www.reddit.com/r/imsorryjon/s/jiDMApTjvF

Part 15:

https://www.reddit.com/r/imsorryjon/s/ixDDF8TOOk

Part 16:

https://www.reddit.com/r/imsorryjon/s/XvqE4ywRSA


As requested, Roy stops the truck where the others had spotted something amiss. Roy, Furrow, and Orson hop out of the driver’s side door, carrying the flashlights they had earlier in the cupola. John tells Wade, Booker, and Sheldon, “I’m going to check this out, too. You boys wait in here.” Wade and the kids climb out of John’s lap, and watch with worried expressions as he hops out the passenger side, and joins the other adult animals. Approaching the scene, John remarks, “yikes, that’s some odor! It must be even worse for you guys. Animals tend to have a stronger sense of smell, right?”

“This is-…”, Orson utters. “This is blood.”

Roy, eyes wide in horror, lets fall from his drooping jaw, “lots of blood. A LOT, of blood.” At the head of the group, Furrow holds his nose and grimaces, inching closer to the gore. His flashlight reveals indistinguishable hunks of shredded bodies. Animal bodies. Some larger chunks have brown fur.

“This was not a random act, nor the work of some feral predator. Whoever this is- whatever happened to them- it was recent”, Furrow observes. “One wonders why the killer would not have cleaned up this crime scene, like the others.”

John interjects, drawing the attention of Roy, Orson, and Furrow, “assuming it’s the same killer, that is.”

Roy questions, “what do you mean? Who else could it be?”

John replies, “well, Orson thinks that the murders here, and the-… and what happened to my boys, are related. And that I didn’t wind up here by accident.” John looks to his left hand, inspecting it a bit, as if searching his memory at the same time. He continues, “I think he’s probably right. But whoever took my Garfield and Odie away from me… certainly didn’t bother to clean up. The scene was full of evidence. But there was no investigation. ‘They’re just animals, Mr. Arbuckle. We don’t investigate pet deaths. Sorry for your loss, Mr. Arbuckle’…” For a quiet moment, Roy looks as if something has struck right at the heart of him. As if he finally feels the weight of John’s sorrow, and is ashamed for having been so callous. John continues, “I could have called the dog warden, but I know what would have happened. From the clues available, he’d have pinned it on my neighbor, Mr. Burnside. But I don’t think it was Irving. I wouldn’t press charges unless I was certain he’d done it. So it would have been a waste of everyone’s time and dignity.”

Orson asks, “so, what are you suggesting? You think there could be more than one killer?”

John answers, “I think there might be. It would help to know who this victim is, but they’re… pureed.”

Furrow declares, from a short distance away, “I think I know who this was!” He walks back to the rest of the group, and presents a piece of evidence he’s found, adding, “or rather, who these were…” The group beholds in Furrow’s hand, a bloody piece of white fabric with a blue letter on it. Though ripped and incomplete, it seems obvious, as Furrow points out, “it may be in bloodied tatters, but that is the letter ‘B’ – I’m sure of it.”

Roy gasps, “the Buddy Bears!... Oh no…”

Orson agrees, “oh my god, it must have been them! The… chunks that have anything recognizable on them, have brown fur. And they were here just yesterday, so that tracks with the timing. With the carnage still being.. fresh. But what in the world could have happened to them? It’s like they were put through a blender…”

Roy utters, “lawnmower…”

“What?”, Orson responds, speaking for John and Furrow’s curiosity as well.

Roy grabs the top of his head with one hand, emotionally overwhelmed as he figures aloud, “I-… I-I think I ran them over… with the lawnmower!...”

The others balk in unison, ““you did WHAT?!””

Roy’s eyes water, while he explains, “not on purpose! I-… I didn’t know they were there. I knew I hit something, but I thought it was just roadkill! I wasn’t looking carefully. I was trying to come up with ideas for the show! I was lost in my own head, thinking about… Jim freakin’ Carrey!” He drops his face into his hands, and wipes away tears. “I hated the Buddy Bears, but I would never… kill them! It was an accident, I swear! I mean-…”

John interjects, “Roy, don’t blame yourself for this. You were only driving a lawnmower. If they were still alive when this happened, you’d have seen them, or heard them. Or they could have gotten out of the way. That thing doesn’t exactly go very fast.”

Orson questions, “just to cover our bases, though – you did walk them all the way off the property, didn’t you?”

Roy confesses, “well, no, not exactly… I didn’t want to go all the way down the road with them, so I just.. shooed them off until I was pretty sure they wouldn’t turn around and come back.” For a moment, nobody says a word.

Orson takes one more scan of the area with his flashlight, then declares, “let’s get going. Back to the truck. We may have even less time than we thought to figure this out.” Without objection, John, Furrow, and Roy all hurry back to the truck with Orson. The group is soon on the move again.

(Meanwhile, in some dark room somewhere, a wall of small screens is monitored by a single individual. The screens all display locations throughout US Acres, and even a couple out in the woods to the east of the property, including the now-deceased Weasel’s home. The observer taps gloved fingers on an armrest with buttons on it. Viewing a screen with a live feed of the site of the Buddy Bears’ carnage, from the vantage point of a tree by the road, they declare, in a digitally distorted voice, “idiot… That’s no way to clean up. Like they say – if you want something done right, you’ve got to do it yourself. I hope he’s prepared to cast off these dead weights for good.” The screen showing the spot that Orson’s group has just driven away from, changes to a feed from a camera mounted on the guesthouse. From that vantage point, the headlights of the work truck can be seen, bouncing with the bumpiness of the dirt road as it draws closer. “Arbuckle wasn’t even supposed to be part of the picture. Much less those triplet ogres, or this ‘Dr.’ Furrow. At least I won’t have to chase them around. I’ll cut them down, as well. Nothing personal – just business…”)

The truck pulls up to the guesthouse, and parks. Roy and Furrow hop out, followed by Orson. With flashlight in hand, and his storybook under his arm, Orson looks up at the unlit house, and insists, “everyone else, stay put. I want to make sure it’s safe.”

Furrow insists, “Orson, you shouldn’t go alone. At least let me accompany you.”

Roy offers, “I’ll go too.”

Orson declines, “no. Roy, you’re in the best shape out of us adults right now, and you know how to drive. In case there’s any trouble out here, you can keep the others safe. But he’s probably right that I shouldn’t go alone, so Dr. Furrow and I will check out the scene inside.”

Roy takes a deep breath, then agrees, “okay, but try to be quick about it. Assuming Bo is alright, it’ll be reassuring to have his muscle with us.” Roy gets back in the truck with the others, while Orson and Furrow head into the house.

Inside, they turn on their flashlights, and scan the living room. Orson points his flashlight to the wall by the door, indicating, “the light switch is right beside you, Dr. Furrow. The guesthouse still has working power, so-…”

Furrow interrupts, “ah, pardon, but I think we should stick to the torches for now. And let us not go shouting for your friend, either. If we’re being watched or followed, we wouldn’t want to signal our position so obviously.”

Orson reels from his own lack of forethought, “oh geeze, good point! I’m glad you came along, after all. Roy was right to call you in, even if not for the reason he thought.”

Searching around with his flashlight, Furrow idly replies, “indeed…” The pair thoroughly search the downstairs. The living room, the kitchen, the dining room, and all the closets. Furnishings are sparse, so it isn’t long before they’re confident that the downstairs is clear. Making their way upstairs, Furrow quietly questions, “I take it the television is up here, then?”

Orson confirms, “yes. And unless he’s already been targeted, Bo should be as well.” Upstairs, the two search the hallway, the bathroom, the first bedroom, and finally… they find themselves standing before the doorway of Bo’s room. Orson can’t bring himself to step inside. Furrow can see the look of dread on Orson’s face.

“I’ll go first”, he assures, with a kind hand on Orson’s shoulder. “Does he startle easily when awoken?”

“No…”, Orson answers flatly. “But he snores.”

Furrow listens for a moment, but all is silent. “Does he? I don’t hear anyth-… Oh. Oh, I see”, he utters, realizing the implication. Without further ado, he carefully creeps into the room and looks around. There is an old, tattered mattress on the floor, and a TV with a built-in VCR against the opposite wall. The north window is wide open. Next to it sits a bedside table with the half-working phone on top, along with a few magazines. A pile of linens lies in a corner, neatly folded and stacked in a laundry basket. Furrow checks the small closet, and finds nothing amiss. He reports, “nobody here, Orson. And nothing gruesome to speak of… unless you count this ancient, uh, hoagie, left on the mattress.”

Orson lets out a sigh, and enters the room, expressing, “thank you. I’ve seen a lot of distressing things today. But, Bo… I-… He’s always been such a sweetheart. I’m really afraid, Dr. Not for myself, but-…”

Furrow understands, “I know, Orson. I know.” Orson looks out the open window, and anxiously curls his fist at his sides.

“Let’s go get the others, and quickly. I’m still not totally sure what your theory entails, but I am curious to find out if John can actually see the show like we do…”, Orson declares.

Moments later, the entire group has gathered in Bo’s bedroom, bathed in the blue glow of the old TV. Furrow explains, for all’s understanding, “presumably, if John is able to see and hear the speaking animals on this program, then its contents must have been recorded similarly to Roy’s personal tapes.” He ejects a tape that had been left in the VCR, and reads the title aloud, in a somewhat curious tone, “Cheech and Chong – Up In Smoke…”

Orson remarks, with a bashful, bittersweet smile, “Bo really likes those ‘hippie’ comedies. I-I could never get into them, but I’d watch with him anyway. His laugh would make me laugh.” His expression abruptly sours, however, leaving only a look of dread about him. John looks as though he might want to say something, but can’t decide what would be appropriate. Furrow pops the Garfield And Friends tape into the VCR, and presses the Play button.

“Ladies and gentlemen… ‘Garfield, And Friends’!...”, the video begins. Immediately, John’s face is glued to the screen. The opening sequence is hypnotizing. He sees all of the US Acres animal characters in their sentient, anthropomorphized forms. But also… Garfield. So far, none of the characters have used their own voices, but John watches in disbelief, as Garfield walks on two legs, makes intelligent human gestures, and emotes with distinct facial expressions.

(Meanwhile, Roy keeps watch out the north window. The same window that just earlier that day, he had spoken to Bo through. He looks serious, but anxious. At the same time, apart from the rest on the east side of the room, Booker and Sheldon are still playing with the camcorder. Sheldon insists, “come on, Booker! Turn it off! Orson said to save the battery, and Roy doesn’t even want us watching his home movies in the first place. You’re gonna get all the grown-ups mad at us!”

Booker argues, “I just wanna see something! Besides, Orson also said that we were too smart to leave out. That we could notice something nobody else does. But I don’t think there’s any answers in Roy’s recordings. I think the clues the adults need, have more to do with how this stuff actually works. What does a plain old machine really see? Is it different than what ends up on the tape?” Booker aims the camcorder at the TV screen. When he looks through the lens, Wade, Orson, and Furrow all appear sentient. On the flip-out preview screen, however, the animals all appear feral. Booker “hmm”s curiously. Through the lens again, he observes that the Garfield And Friends show on the TV screen looks exactly as it should. On the preview screen, the show also appears as it should.)

At last the opening sequence comes to its close. Then, John finally hears it – for the first time. The voice of Garfield. Framed inside a square above the show title, Garfield quips, “so if someone wants you to change the channel kids, just say no.”

Softly shaking his head, John utters, “it’s him… It’s really him. It’s.. Garfield!” Another rumble is heard all-around. The gathered not only hear it, but can feel it as well. As the rumble lingers- quite a bit longer than any before- Booker suddenly has a compelling thought.

“Wait – what if the camera can catch that rumbling thing?!”, he excitedly proposes. Without hesitation, Booker presses record on the camcorder, and keeps it aimed at the TV screen, with John in frame to the right, and Wade in frame to the left, appearing feral.

Sheldon exclaims, “what are you doing? You better not record over Roy’s projects!”

Roy turns from the window, revolting, “what?! Hey, you’re not taping over my pilots, are you? Turn it off!”

Orson joins, “boys, I told you to stop playing with that, and save the battery life!”

Roy leaves his post at the window and begins chasing Booker around the room, demanding, “give me that! I don’t have unlimited tapes, you know!”

Adeptly evading his pursuer, Booker argues, “I think this business just might be a little more important!” By now, the rumble has faded. Looking at the battery life indicator, flashing “2% remaining”, Booker squints critically. Still dodging Roy, he remarks, “I hope that started recording while the rumble was still going! There’s two percent left. If we’re gonna learn anything from this camera, it won’t be from Roy’s projects!” The battery life indicator drops to 1%, and Booker stops in his tracks, having run just out of the room and into the hallway. It’s dark, even moreso than in the bedroom, but Booker seems to notice something peculiar on the preview screen. Before he has time to process it, however, Roy is upon him. Booker turns on his heels, holding the camcorder close to his belly, facing the encroaching Roy.

Roy snatches the camera from the youngster, scolding, “you give me that thing! Look, I know you’re trying to help, but Dr. Furrow insisted we come here for a reason. We needed to see if John could perceive Garfield on the TV show. That’s all. This place could be dangerous, and we don’t have time to play around here!”

From inside the room, Sheldon dreads, “dangerous? If Bo’s missing, and his house is dangerous, does that mean-?...” Orson gulps – for the moment, unable to so much as comment on the situation.


Part 18:

https://www.reddit.com/r/imsorryjon/s/wKXWlfFhfA

Part 19:

https://www.reddit.com/r/imsorryjon/s/47Tfnl7zPV


r/imsorryjon 19d ago

Garfield Exorcist

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109 Upvotes

r/imsorryjon 23d ago

[OC] Feeding the Beast (+ a bit of a story cus why not)

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165 Upvotes

It has been 7 years since the beast known as the Garfield appeared and started the Great Indiana Rampage. The creature that caused millions of deaths seemingly cannot be harmed: blades, bullets, bombs, acids and even nuclear weaponry have no effect on the Garfield other than aggravating it further. Thanks to the research funded by President Arbuckle, humans have found ways to deal with the threat such as being especially cautious around him on Mondays (the day increases his aggression ten fold). The main way that the Garfield is dealt with is through the use of lasagna. For an unknown reason it is extremely effective at keeping him docile, thus there are small factories whose sole purpose is to make the dish. It does, however, have the unfortunate side effect of making the Garfield rapidly grow. Since the government started feeding him he has grown from the size of an adult rhinoceros to larger than a blue whale and the growth shows no sign of slowing down. For now they must continue to provide lasagna as the alternative is global destruction.


r/imsorryjon 25d ago

If we tear it… we can repair it, Jon

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114 Upvotes