It’s the only one that doesn’t disappear in the maw of this fatass book

I'm at chapter 16 on my first read and have decided I need to put this down for a bit. I have been a horror fan for decades. I have seen hundreds of movies that scared me, and read a couple horror books, but this book is fucking with me in a way that I wasn't prepared for. It's not the black maze or the idea of a minotaur, those things feel pretty mild to me. It's the depictions of paranoid OCD, and descent into madness that are really scary.

I have had very infrequent panic attacks throughout my life, and they are usually based around dementophobia (fear of going insane). Thankfully I have never experienced any mental health concerns beyond anxiety. This book is tickling that phobia in a deep way.

Basically every night since starting the book, I have woken up and been unable to get back to sleep for hours. I normally sleep like a baby. Last night I had a panic attack worrying about whether I could end up like Johnny. I have decided to speak to a therapist about this, and part of me realizes that moving through this fear is important work, and so perhaps the book could be a helper in that sense.

Has anyone had a similar experience? I'm looking for solace, advice, or commiseration. I'm not looking to be made fun of or told that I just need to get through it, unless that really is what you think.

On a side note I'm blown away by the quality of the book and the experience it provides and could see it becoming one of my favorite books ever.

is this true????

Like something people could recognize the book by

...and since I don't need two copies, I gave my softbound copy to my friend John. Last year, when I originally read it, I was telling him about it, and he really wanted to give it a read.

Today, I just realized what I did to the poor guy.

He's color-blind.

Hi, I'm barely starting to scratch Exploration #4, I've been made aware that the author's sister made a complemental soundtrack in the form of an album.

My question is, is this supposed to be listened separately or during my readings? If so, is there a particular order to follow as I progress through the book? Or should I just let it rip while I read?.

This is like my 50th post this week but fuck you i hate you i think what are we thinking lets ponder on this for a bit i dont know

Not to mention my copy having first edition in yellow and hers being in purple

Bout to get my copy Monday and have started it on pdf when I have free time at work which is a lot.

I’ve listened to the album by Poe and while I get it, it just feels to upbeat for me. I’ve found a few good playlists on Spotify, but I’m working on my own playlist. I’ve already added Laturalus by Tool because spiraling and the constant way the story spirals out of control with its semi random tangents that all connect.

Anywho what other songs do you feel conveys exploring the House on Ash tree lane?

Playlist so far:
https://open.spotify.com/playlist/0BjsOy9DHN41uSBzgyFtuR?si=AX7evYBlTWK2NAbaaFwOjw&utm_source=copy-link

I missed so much the first time I read it, every metaphor and important footnote all missed in the name of saving time and personal grievance with the thought of devoting hours of my time to decoding this mindfuck of a book— or, no, “book” as a word doesn’t really fit this, but rather, experience— really, it just seemed far too intimidating first time around.

Revisiting it, I’ve realized what I missed.

How many lies will this book tell me before I break with it?

The pages don’t exist anymore.

It’s just a sequence of raw information that cannot be deciphered or decoded or manipulated or used or erased or stored or

It’s all lies.
None of it is real.
Will Navidson isn’t real.
Ash Tree Lane isn’t real.
Johnny isn’t real.
Zampano isn’t real.
Hell, maybe the book I’m holding isn’t real.
Does it matter?
Am I just another story?
Is it all just books opening and closing over and over and over and over and over and over and over until it finally reaches the top— or is there a top?— no, it all just repeats over and over, not in a circle or an identifiable pattern, but just an infinite, dimensionless pillar of stories looping back in on each other over and over again.

I’m so tired.
I can’t look away from the book.
Will it be the same when I look back if I do?
Will I notice if it isn’t?
Will it even be there?
Or will everything else be gone?

I don’t know.
I don’t know.
I don’t know.
I don’t know.
I don’t know.
I don’t know.

I don’t know.
I don’t know.
I don’t know.
I don’t know.
I don’t know.
I don’t know.
I don’t know.

I’m sorry.
I didn’t mean to.
I’m sorry.

It’s not your fault.
I’m sorry.
It’s not your fault.

Please pull me out of the lake.

Genuinely excited to reread this at some point when I can annotate and be more confident in some of the themes. I wrote a whole paragraph in my book tracking app about the bit on cameras and “grit and truth” Shoutout to my Art history course last semester that discussed it because I had a mental point and “AHA I KNOW ABOUT THIS” moment.

Just finished the book, and I want to uncover some on the encoded messages without getting the answers right away. Any tips on how to do this? PS.: I've already read the Whalestoe Letters and decoded the "rape" letter (and one of its hidden messages).

Navy: There's an endless hallway in my living room that leads to a huge staircase into the abyss, the air is cold and I just heard a scary sound behind me.

Johnny's footnote right below: So I had a wet dream about the Stripper I have a crush on.

It's bad enough that when starts talking he leaves us on a cliffhanger from the Navidson Record, he also has to talk about the most out of pocket shit ever

I don't know why but I just read the page where Jed dies and it really got me. REALLY hits you like a truck :[

Update: so... I just finished Chapter XIII. I don't think a book has ever made me sob as hard as this last page had. My plan has been to finish 100 pages a night, but I think I have to sleep on it lol.

Let me know how accurate this is. ^165

165: Look at the works of Guy I made the fuck up “House of Leaves but I can’t leave” 1986 “Davidson Journal” 1967 page 237.

where is he let me know if ur in contact

Pizza place in Missoula, MT

I'm not even done decoding it yet and I'm dreading what's coming.

(Spoilers for these sections, please don't give me any for further sections of the book!)

I'm currently a little more than halfway through House of Leaves (Full Color Edition Paperback, 44th printing). I'm on page 347, the start of chapter XIV (Infidelity). I've just completed the Minotaur and I have a lot of thoughts about what I've read so far.

For starters, this is my second attempt reading the book. I tried reading it a couple years ago and eventually put it down as I approached The Labyrinth chapter. The constant backpedaling of footnotes, going forward and reverse, and the text being backwards/different directions had me overwhelmed. It felt like a chore originally reading it the first time because I took the footnotes too literally (reading literally every single word and trying to comprehend them). I also was a bit more stringent in trying to solve puzzles instead of simply just reading the book.

This time around, I decided to take everything head on and follow the footnotes. Not trying to derive any solutions to puzzles or alternative meanings. Instead, just read the book and follow the footnotes. I tended to glaze over lengthy filler ones (e.g. footnotes 75 and 147)... I'm sure there's clues, secret messages (I'm familiar with 75's), or some other useful details. But they distract me from the plot that I actually find interesting. Since I've survived the labyrinth chapter and the plot is picking up in intensity, I'm finding it hard for me NOT to read the book. Okay, so as for my thoughts and theories so far.

Firstly, my thoughts. I've heard some criticism about Johnny's commentary throughout the story. Sure, a lot of it seems edgy, but there are many parts I find interesting. It's cool to see how his life seems to mirror what is happening in both the Navidson Record and Zampano's writing. Sure, maybe the sex scenes overstay their visit. But the rest of his writing about his deteriorating sanity and childhood reflections are interesting to read in my opinion. I enjoy the parallels of him boarding up his apartment, just around the same time the door to the Great Hallway is getting boarded up. Or the children's drawings reflecting his drawings that disturb Lude. I'm looking forward to finishing this book soon.

As for my theories. Established early on in the book was the fact that there is unreliable narration. Johnny edits what Zampano writes in a passage and makes a footnote about it. There is a checkmark on the bottom page of chapter VIII, which echoes what his mother told him to do in the Whalestone Letters. Johnny also proudly adds fake(?) details to Lude's on page 265. Part of me wonders if anything relating to the Navidson record is even Zampano's writing? The guy is allegedly blind, yet cites hundreds of sources. He goes into great detail on a film that apparently doesn't even exist.

ANOTHER CRUCIAL SERIES OF THOUGHTS! Navidson is referred to as Navy for short. Navy Son. Johnny Truant's adoptive father was a marine. Obviously not necessarily the same, but something to think about. A lot of Navidson's life seems to parallel Johnny's throughout the story. Pelifina, Johnny's mother clearly suffers from some severe disability. I believe it is schizophrenia. Navy has a twin brother. What if Johnny has a twin brother (I don't remember if this was established in the writing)? Schizophrenia is hereditary. According to a quick Google, there's a 10% likelihood for parents to pass it to their children. Identical twins have a 50% chance of sharing schizophrenia. Johnny's constant hearing of sounds, forgetfulness, and overall confusion in the world he's going through makes me think he could be schizophrenic. His drug abuse as well would explain the self-medication.

What if Zampano didn't exist either, just as much as the film, interviews, or other sources? What if it was all the writing of a schizophrenic man journaling his life in fiction? The editors are still there, compiling it all and adding on the following documents we find in the appendix.

Correct me if I'm wrong or anything. I'm curious to hear y'all's thoughts. I definitely felt as crazy writing this all out as I do reading the book. I'm sure I missed a lot of crucial details, as this is my first true read and am trying to cover 346 pages of a book I've been reading the past few weeks.

are they stupid

So Im in the middle of chapter 9, Johnny says "you got me" and then it sends me to 176 which tells me to check Appendix B.

Am I.... supposed to read the entire Appendix right now? Am I supposed to keep skimming until I find the specific entry I think is related to this? Im very confused.

Apologies for the abysmal quality

I'm normally not the type of person to mark pages like this. I usually go in with 1 bookmark and call it a day, but having 2 bookmarks and a adding page markers has been a lot of fun so far!