Like title says, I love a clean and organized home, but I've been wondering where the balance is.

I don't mind doing small things every day - putting things away, wiping down surfaces, keeping things from getting out of control. But sometimes i don't want the weekends disappear into cleaning, laundry, and catching up on everything I didn't have time for during the week.

I'm trying to figure out what works long term. Do you rely on routines and small daily habits? automate certain tasks with smart home devices, hire help for the things you hate doing, or have you just learned to accept a little more mess?

What has helped you spend less time on chores without feeling like your home is constantly getting messy?

I’m a wife and mom who honestly doesn’t feel like I’m very good at homemaking, but it’s something I genuinely want to improve.

I’m a decent cook, but when it comes to keeping a home, I tend to do one big marathon cleaning day each week instead of staying on top of things daily. The result is that my house often looks messy, even though I know I can get it clean.

The truth is, I never really learned these skills. Growing up, our home was pretty disorganized, and I wasn’t interested in homemaking back then, so I never developed good routines.

Lately, I’ve realized my husband deserves better than what I’m giving him right now, and that makes me feel guilty. He’s a wonderful husband, and I want our home to be a place that’s peaceful and welcoming for him and our kids. When we visit other people’s homes, I often find myself wondering, How did they learn to do this? It seems to come so naturally to everyone else, and I feel like I’m missing something.

For those of you who weren’t naturally organized or didn’t grow up in a tidy home, where did you start? What habits made the biggest difference? Are there any books, YouTube channels, checklists, or systems that helped you learn how to manage a home?

Opinions also how to get the wrinkles out - I don’t own an Iron.

I was mopping, picked up a box full of dishes we planned to donate so I could get under it, and the bottom fell out. Dozens of dishes shattered on the floor. I picked up all the big chunks, but there's a lot of tiny shards that just can't be swept up because it's wet and soapy. My father in law (and also landlord) is coming to fix the sink in 30 minutes and idk how I'm gonna tell him "Hey btw there's broken glass on a wet floor be careful"

I (23f) got married in April of this year and back then I had a job. I had a job until July 10th which was when I got laid off. I LOVE staying at home. I often felt like my job was a cage and I couldn’t enjoy the fresh air or be a normal person. Like my only purpose was to work until I die. I didn’t think I was going to get laid off on the 7th month mark at that job. I was planning to keep that job for as long as possible because we are newlyweds and we need to make as much money as we can. However, I’m not the best homemaker. I don’t know how to clean a restroom (and don’t want to learn) I don’t know how to cook (and don’t feel like learning). I clean the kitchen, wash dishes, do laundry, sweep, and vacuum. Those are the tasks I find easy to do. More than anything else I feel like there is a mental blockage when it comes to doing things that don’t come easy to me (cleaning a restroom, cooking, baking, etc). I just really want to be a competent wife. He works 11-12 hrs a day M-F and he is so extremely understanding of me. Also I believe my mental blockage comes from thinking that if I start cooking and cleaning the restroom and doing everything else that I won’t have time to do the things I ACTUALLY want to do. Which are things like update my resume, polish my photography skills, take courses online to get even more prepped for the workforce, learn to drive, and etc. It like a tug of war between taking good care of my home and taking good care of my wants and I don’t feel like I can do both.

I have less than a month to prepare to host 7 people in my house for 10 days. I’ve never hosted anyone for this long and never this many people.

What do I need to do/get to make sure their stay is comfortable?

I know I need more towels and bedsheets but other than that I’m not sure what else would be a benefit to hosting such a large group for an extended stay.

Edit: thank you all for the suggestions! And I love that the most important aspect seems to be clearly communicate what they have access to in the house and let them feel at home.

I don’t live in a mansion so some of the accommodation will be couches/ air mattresses. To make these as comfortable as possible I’m going make sure they all have fresh sheets, more than enough blankets, and fans near by.

My to do list is now: -coffee/breakfast station.
-bathroom/toiletries basket
-tv/entertainment info
-check diet restrictions and meal plan
-get some tourism brochures for outing ideas
-poop knife?
-welcome cards
-and of course clean everything!

Where do you store your reusable water bottles that you refill before heading out of the house all day? Ours usually travel a bit around the house as we come/go but when everything is in its place, the bottles are lined up in a single file against the fridge.

My husband absolutely hates this and moves them to the carpeted staircase. He doesn’t have an idea of a better place but he says they don’t belong on the counter.

I could put them in a lower cabinet but then they don’t get used. (Out of sight, out of mind.) And the kids don’t put them back there. (We could work on that habit of course.)

Where do you store yours?

I started using a strict two-day waiting period for any online purchase that isn't a basic necessity. Leaving items in my cart for 48 hours completely killed my impulse buying habit. What small rule helps keep your casual spending in check?

Hello everyone,

First post here! I am a 29-year-old guy, and I live alone in a 1-bedroom apartment. I have ADHD and OCD, and I often have a hard time keeping my place presentable. My brain does a lot better when I have a system or schedule to reference, so I am wondering if anyone else has a similar issue they have been able to improve or tips/recomendations.

Living alone especially makes it tricky because I have to do all the work myself, and motivatinon/overwhelm/exguastion sometimes gets me down.

Would love to hear how other folks push through these struggles and stick to a schedule or system. Considering starting some sort of personal "Homemaker Handbook" to collect knowledge and develop systems I can reference.

Any input is much appreciated. Thank you!

For me, it’s keeping the fridge door seals clean. I feel like I’m the only person on earth who sees the crumbs hiding in there, and if I don't do it, they just live there forever. Is there a random, tiny chore that you’ve claimed as your own just because it would haunt your dreams if you didn't do it?

Most days cleaning just feels like a tedious obligation leftover from childhood, when chores were always ordered by my parents instead of something I chose for myself.
But there’s one task I genuinely find calming: hand-washing dishes with nice scented soap. The warm water and watching grimy plates turn clean feels like tiny therapy after a busy day.
I’m curious what chore feels relaxing for you guys, the one you don’t drag your feet to finish? Drop it in the comments!

I was washing the dishes just now and I had a thought that amused me. Growing up, my mom had this exact system for washing dishes: glasses and cups first, then cutlery, then plates, then pots last. I still do it in that order without even thinking about it.

Do any of you have niche rules that your mom passed down that you now do religiously? Could be cleaning, cooking, laundry, how you fold things, how you greet elders, serve visitors, anything. Curious how many of these are universal across SA households and which ones are unique to certain families or backgrounds - for context, I'm a black woman in her late 20s.

Also, for example, we have dinner/supper by 6pm and I'm always shocked when I vist other homes and they start cooking at 8pm.

A few things I could add if I think of them, but wanted to open it up first.

16M, looking to host a garden party at my house next Monday!

I’ve already gone onto Pinterest and created a board with different ideas that i want to do, it’s at my house but im co-hosting with one of my girlfriends.

My idea that ive envisioned is that i want to go pink. Very fairytale, tea party/garden party. My role model for this is Lisa Vanderpump off of RHOBH (iykyk), and I want to incorporate that into my hosting skills.

If anyone’s ever done anything similar, do you have any suggestions or ideas that i can do? With this, i mean with hosting skills, activities to do, food/drinks (everyone’s bringing their own boards, each one has a category). How do i be a good host? Obviously I’m only 16 so you can assume correctly that this is the first time I’ve done anything like this, but this is how I wish to pursue my hang outs with my girls from now on.

The party starts at 11:30AM but unsure on when it will end, as mum will be home from work around 6pm ish.

I’ll attach photos of the kind of thing i have in mind! Any tips or tricks would be much appreciated!!! 🩷

I hope it's okay to post this here but I think many of you being homemakers may relate to this. We're nurturing by nature but sometimes this could be a lot on us.

Here's what's been weighing heavy on me:

Since becoming a full time homemaker, I was able to make some new friends. They are people of all backgrounds (married, single, older, younger etc). I'm pretty laid back so I usually go along with whatever plans and whoever reaches out. But the ones who reach out most are the single women. In the last few years, I've gotten close to 3 friends who are in their 40s and single. It usually starts out with us getting to know each other over dinner or coffee. But then somehow overtime I feel like they see me as their life partner or someone extremely significant.

And to give some more context:

Friend A once told me she was gonna move away from our city because she was over it until she met me, and now she decided to stay! She also wanted to spend Christmas, weekends with me and my husband and travel with us. I get that she's alone and wants to be a part of a group/family, but it's just a bit much. I've taken her on hikes with us on the weekend and had her over one Christmas, but I don't invite her to everything. I can just sense that she's sad when she finds out about our activities.

Friend B is semi retired who seems to have many health problems. If I'm being completely honest, I think she has Munchausen. She also thinks her dog has all kinds of illnesses that need urgent medical attention and it usually turns out to be not true. Several of her family members have been sick in the last few years that I've known her. As you can imagine being her friend means I'm always on top of her list of people to call for emergencies.

I slowly drifted away from friend A and B. But now I became friends with friend C. She's going through IVF on her own and soon to be a single mom. I offered to help her with injections initially once in a while, but now she needs daily injections which is fine because we're neighbors. But everyday I come over, she immediately tells me all about her day, her work and everything and I just want to be in and out. She called me her partner in this (as in the baby) and that I helped create this baby. I know she said these things to show gratitude, but it's just a lot. She said she wishes I could go with her to some doctor's appointments which I politely smiled and ignored. She was visibly upset when I mentioned we were thinking of moving further out to the suburbs in the distant future.

Btw these are friendships of different timelines in the last few years and they don't know each other. I guess my point is that I see a pattern of me attracting middle aged single friends, and perhaps me being a people pleaser often leads to this situation where I feel a lot of burden and mental weight.

Also just to note, other than friend B, they are not asking for any tangible help, but more so emotional availability. I'm conflicted to feel both burdened but also it doesn't cost me anything to be there and listen, so why not.

Thank you for reading all of this and I'd love to hear some of your perspectives.

My sister is a busy corporate girly with a loving sweet mildly unreliable husband. We were not on good terms for the first two and she had lots and lots of support. This go around she has little to no support aside from me and our mom who would only be able to be there two days. It’s already a tough pregnancy and she’s gonna be in bed for at least a week afterwards. I am not a baby person (severe ptsd not a choice) and will be leaving that up to hubby and mama. Mainly I will do my best to keep everyone on track, fed, and clean with my focus on my sister’s health (I’m tired of everyone putting her last). However I have no clue what that looks like. She has no free time to get ready for baby outside of the basic baby equipment gathering and hubby is busy with the other two high needs kids.
I really would love to know what does that look from my position? How can I give the most support without trying to control anything or neglecting the emotional sides of everything? Should I meal prep or just ingredient prep? Do I keep the house hospital level clean while trying to keep her from doing work in bed? I’m a very plan and prep then let things fall into place person, however I’m well aware there is little chance things will go as planned with a newborn in the picture.

There's one object in my home that somehow ends up being involved in everything. It gets moved from room to room, everyone uses it, and it somehow becomes the center of daily activity. At first it wasn't a big deal, but now it feels like the whole household revolves around it. Is this just something that naturally happens in homes or is there a way to keep things from centering around a single item?

My husband and I just bought a beautiful starter home for our family (us and one baby and another on the way) but I’m really stuck on how to decorate it. I don’t have an “eye” for things and it baffles me how people have these beautifully decorated homes they did all by themselves. I can’t seem to mentally picture different furniture arrangements, where stuff should go on the floors and walls, etc. and I often find myself seeing other people’s homes thinking “I never would have thought of that”. I don’t know how to coordinate colors or pick paint or what goes with the lighting fixtures already installed that I like. The home is already beautifully updated with gorgeous floors and cabinets and walls and fixtures so I have a good base to work with and I’m not looking for any major renovations. Overall I just don’t know how people come up with stuff. Does anyone have any advice for making a house a home, decor wise? We have rented before and didn’t have a ton of agency in our decisions and we also didn’t have much money so our furniture was kind of just whatever we had from our single days combined (and a lot of it is in the new house now for utility until I decide exactly what I want to do). I don’t have family or friends that could really help either. Thank you guys!

Hi all! First time here, I’m 22 and got married in January this year, my husband and I didn’t live together before marriage so we’ve only been in the same house for about 6 months

I have always dreamed of being a homemaker, cooking amazing food and just pouring my heart into keeping a clean and happy home, but I find I struggle with motivation and often get very lazy 😔

ESPECIALLY now that I am 13 weeks pregnant … I cooked a homemade meal for the first time in WEEKS just last night now that I have a little bit more energy back entering into my second trimester. My husband has been amazing with staying on top of the household chores, but I feel so good and productive when I do things myself, it’s just that physically getting up to do anything is a battle

I’m wondering if anyone could please share some low effort tips that will help me make a better routine in these areas so that I can increase my productivity over time and eventually be able to clean and cook without it feeling like such a chore or burden. I’m hoping that I can do this before the baby comes, but of course because eating homemade food and being in a nice clean house makes me feel happy and comfortable!

Thank you 😊

I live in a high-rise apartment, so cleaning the outside windows has always been a bit annoying. I usually have to stretch more than I should and some windows also have handles that get in the way. So most of the time I just wipe what I can reach and pretend the rest isn’t there.

My neighbor has been using a window cleaning robot recently. I saw it running when I visited his place. I thought it looked kind of funny at first, but after watching it for a bit, I understood why he uses one. It just seemed a lot easier than doing the whole thing by myself. Now I’m actually kind of tempted, especially since those are the windows I usually avoid cleaning.

Has anyone here used one for your windows or awkward glass areas? Worth it, or still kind of a gimmick?

Hi! I am currently in a transitional living program , and when I exit I'm given a bunch of housewarming gifts. that includes $250 of groceries. i get to do the shopping myself, what would y'all suggest I start putting on the list? i want things that will last a long time and make sense for my situation. it's just gonna be me and my partner and we like all sorts of food especially rice and meat type meals :)

Edit: THANK YOU EVERYONE I FEEL SO SUPPORTED AND PREPARED!! ❤️🫂