This time from 2011. You can see other examples here, here, here, and here, as well as a report on active oil/gas drilling on church owned lands in Colorado. Don’t forget that the church also uses service missionaries to support its fossil fuel interests.

advice/vent post

it's going to be very long, so I appreciate anyone who will take the time to read this and help me. I struggle with being concise. I've been in the shadows of this reddit so this is my first post on here

also I'm not sure how long I'll keep the post up (can i edit it? delete it? not sure) because I'm always anxious that someone will recognize my situation and know I asked for help. I'm paranoid haha

I'm 19f, and I've been pimo for a few years now. I'm starting my second year of college soon, and I've had my doubts since sophomore year of high school, and my junior/senior year is when I stood firm on the realization that I didn't believe in the church, and by extension, god.

The situation with my boyfriend is what I really need advice on. I had hinted at my faith crisis a few times, but I finally faced it and told him the gist of why I no longer believed in the early summer before we split ways for college/mission, and I was pretty adamant that, although I will continue to follow the standards of the church (for my own reasons), I for sure wouldn't be attending church while I'm at college, and I no longer strictly identified myself with the church. I thought it was okay because he didn't show it at the time, but it was pretty heartbreaking, although he didn't react much then and I didn't know until now how much it had initially affected him. He's almost halfway through his 2yr mission, which is exciting! for the first half of the year, we had the underlying wedge between us. Around the beginning of this year, I finally took the time to describe all the main reasons I didn't believe, and to my relief he not only already knew about the issues I had (polygamy, sexism, racism, basically all the stuff in the gospel topic essays) but he also completely understood why I struggled to believe so much. he was more open about the undeniable circumstances in his life that has kept him on the path, despite all his struggles. he admires my stubbornness to question everything and never blindly follow something. he even said that he often wonders how women can believe in the church, and of course he doesn't agree with how the church has conducted itself historically.

obviously it's relieving to hear that he isn't the type of guy to try to defend the bad stuff, but I was also scared that I would "lead him astray." I don't care what religion he was, but I would hate to be the cause of him going though all I went through, while on his mission, even if it means we got the difference in religion to work through lol. ofc I selfishly wouldn't mind if he decided to leave, but I always want what makes him the happiest, as he does for me.

all this to say, through the difference in beliefs and the distance, we couldn't be closer. I've loved him since middle school, and this is the only issue we've ever had. I'm immensely grateful to be with someone who has shown time and time again how much he loves me and how good of a person he is, and this is coming from someone who is extremely cautious and critical.

but yeah, the issue is he wants a temple marriage, duh. I understand the importance it has in his life and religion. and honestly, I wouldn't mind at all going through the motions so he can get that. the issue with that is I'm going to have to go through a few more years of being PIMO, since we'll be in different states for college (more long distance sobbb) (also we refuse to speedrun into marriage so it will be yearss), to make our families and wards go along with me being able to go to the temple. I hateeee lying, which is one of the main reasons I don't believe anymore, because of all the lies the church has in its history and doctrine, so I feel awfully hypocritical. as many issues as I have with the church and its leaders, I know so many wonderful, genuine mormons and I feel like its disrespectful to fake it. I haven't been to the temple in a year. although I follow the word of wisdom pretty well because of health reasons, I still dont check enough boxes to be "worthy" because of my lack of belief. he also really believes in the power of prayer, and again given his experiences, I'm glad he does, but it just doesn't do it for me. I can't believe in a loving god, and no amount of scripture reading and praying is going to change that. he's always told me that he'll love me no matter how much I believe, he just wants a temple marriage. maybe its the trauma with growing up in a church thats lied to me all my life, but I can't help but be scared that he's too hopeful on the power of god and faith that he thinks I'll change

he knows I'll never be a full believing mormon, but given how things have gone, I don't see myself ever believing in god, either, for many of the same reasons.

The church hasn't been central in our relationship, at least from a mutual standpoint. It's why I took so long to "come out" to him, because despite hanging out at church functions and camps a ton, we really didn't get into deep conversations about religion that often, so I didn't know a lot of his opinions regarding the church. after his mission, I know the church will be even more important to him so I fear it might be more important for him to have it be a part of our relationship, especially when marriage eventually becomes a possibility

I'm going to stick it out for a while longer, and just see how things go. but any advice would go a long way. has anyone been successful in an exmo-mormon marriage? and what happens when kids get thrown into that equation? is it easy coexisting with someone who has such different beliefs when you have none?

I was born a Mormon and raised by hardcore Mormon parents. I play along, going to church and mutual because I know if I refuse they'll just make my life even more miserable. But one day I was in priesthood class and someone was teaching a lesson I didn't even bother to listen to. I wasn't acting rude or mean I was simply just quiet the entire time because I genuinely had nothing to say about the lesson. My bishop asked all of us what we thought about the lesson and I just shrugged saying, "It was alright" this made my Bishop frown slightly and later that day my parents sat me down and asked me if I believed in the gospel. I was confused, I played along going to church every Sunday, going to mutual and seminary what did I do wrong? Until I realized my damn bishop apparently told my parents I was bored in class and was worried about my faith. Somehow being quiet and not adding anything to the discussion made my Bishop wonder if I was unfaithful, he's not wrong I don't believe in the church but I found it so stupid that he would tell my parents that there was something wrong with me, cause I said the lesson was "alright". I thought doing the bare minimum was fine but no! Apparently I have to be a goody too shoes Mormon boy to satisfy my bishop and parents. I kinda wanted to vent and know what you guys did in situations like these.

I was born into a Mormon family, I'm 17 now and I don't believe in the church but I play along so my parents don't get mad at me. My dad and uncles are hardcore Mormons but my aunt isn't a Mormon, she had sex before marriage, drinks coffee, and quit the church when she was 18. We were at a family gathering and every time she sat in the living room with everyone else, my dad would for some reason bring up the topic about the gospel and basically was trying to somehow prove that my aunt was wrong for leaving the church. He would keep bringing up about how miserable non members he knew were and how staying in the church was good for you. I felt really bad for my aunt and felt like he was being a dick to her. My dad's really kind to his own kids and wife, but seeing him treating his own sister like shit cause she was a non member made me wonder if all Mormons are just assholes to non members, he's incredibly homophobic, hates piercings, and hates anything different and emo. I just want to know if all your Mormon parents or friends were this insufferable ☹️

I don't believe in the church at all but I still go to church and mutual, to keep my parents happy. I honestly don't mind going to the church, what bothers me the most is when my mom takes out money from my account every paycheck I get for tithing. I don't argue with her about it since it's always a losing battle but one day I jokingly asked her, "If I need to be a full tithe payer to get my temple recommendation, isn't the temple a paid access area?" I meant this as a joke but my mom went absolute psycho on me and took my phone and grounded me. She told me it was a blessing to pay my tithing and the temple wasn't paid access at all. I genuinely don't understand how it's not a paid access thing, please explain 😭 🙏

After leaving the cult I was born in. I began being more and more interested in learning about cults. During this time around my job I started noticing the Mormons like to visit the store I work in (at the time at least).

Then I started off small. Just shouting: “Oh look the cult members are here!!!” “Watch out for these cultists!”

Afterwards I started getting a little braver (mind you this while on the job).

Me: Hey are you guys with the cult?

The guy who married a 14 yo. sympathizers: Well no we are from the church of jesu…

Me: Yeah this is it.

Afterwards I got a little more extreme (this is outside of work though)

“Hey did you know Mr. Smee I mean Smith married a 14 yo?”

Hell once I convinced a black guy to stand next to me while I read Jacob 3:8-9 to them and asked them to explain the passage.

Recently I spotted them in my neighborhood and the pair started groaning when they saw me.

edit: pretty ironic the typo in my title. sigh. . . wrote this as my entire body is lit up with rage. didn't have time to check for mistakes

I came here to rant. I'm just feeling completely outraged. I don't even know what to do with this anger. I haven't expressed it, and I'm afraid to because, it feels like once I let the lid off, i'm not sure how to get it back on.

Hi, I'm ex-mo now 10 years. I left pretty early. I remember being in primary class, doubting everything they were saying. It didn't make sense. Regurgitated thoughts that lacked substance. When I asked questions no one could seem to answer me properly. Early on I pretty much accepted it was a scam. I left at 13 years old. My parents continue to be Mormon. That's the can of worms I'm not ready to open.

Because you see, due to life circumstances I am back at my parents house after not living with them since I was 17. They have cameras all over their home, and I probably don't need to expand on that. I unfortunately have nowhere else to go at the moment. Despite me repeating to them, I will NEVER believe in their church, I have my own religious beliefs, they don't respect it. My dad will tell me I will get lost in the FIRES of the old worlds. Like shut the fuck up.

I had a near death experience pretty young as well. That confirmed to me what I have always known. That , ALL OF IT IS BULLSHIT.

Not to mention what mormon settlers did to the Timpanogos people. I don't know what to do with all this anger. I see my parents, and I don't see them. I see ignorant, stupid people who can so easily fall for a cult. Not brave enough to leave it even though my dad is aware it's all fake.

I am native, and my other size of my family is colonizer white people. I have to reckon with being both in my lineage.
I hate them. I hate them.

I hate what my parents have done to our family, they are so blind. So fucking blind. They consistently choose a religion, over their own children.

I'm also QUEER AS FUCK and it's so obvious yet I feel so trapped in their control and shame they try to put me in. I want to leave and never speak to them again. It is suffocating. Fuck Joseph smith. Masonic conman.

Fuck that fat fuck young and what he did to the men women and children of the Timpanogos people. FUCK BYU for still withholding their ancestral things in that dingy stupid museum that no one EVEN goes to. They are so evil.

This is poorly worded It's late and i'm just so angry.

I know there are other perspectives I could have. The anger doesn't feel good when I'm so stuck where I'm at. In their stupid control center where they try to use emotional manipulation and withholding of love to make me return to their cult. NOT happening. Just so confused as to why they couldn't just love the humans they created. Even if they happened to be more intelligent than them. Instead, just not deserving of love. Just a weak sinner, in their eyes.

I'm in a mid-stage of leaving, but honestly want to be done with it already.

About a year and a half ago I was considering leaving for a mission. I got serious and read 'letter for my wife,' and the shelf fkn SHATTERED. It was a massive ah-ha moment, and I spent literal weeks researching, reading, and unable to sleep. It was a massive relief, and emotionally exhausting.

Half a year ago I didn't get my temple recommend, and that was the first big step for me. It my personal 'record removing' experience. (Which I haven't done yet, might not do it, we'll see.)

Five months ago I shared that I'm officially done with the church with my exmo family, and then my two close TBM friends that I felt I could trust. The roughest part talking to my TBM dad. I don't feel much a need to tell everyone anymore, or really care if it stays a secret. The rest of the family will probably find out slowly.

One month ago I moved out for the first time, and now no longer have to worry about going to church or keeping up pretenses.

I've blocked this subreddit a few times, just because I'm simply trying to get away from all things mormon (don't get me wrong, I love this subreddit a bit too much). I just keep feeling the urge to do more deep dives, talk to more people about it, find groups that understand, validate, pick it apart, you name it, all things exmormon. I think it honestly comes from desperately wanting to be DONE with it, and I'm not quit there.

It's rough because the majority of my family is TBM. All my friends have gone away on missions. The people I know who are exmo have moved away, or are in different stages of deconstructing. I want to be done with the church, but it doesn't seem done with me. How do I let go?

edit: Mixed up PIMO with TBM 🤦‍♂️🤦‍♀️

I emailed Salt Lake City wanting my records removed and no more contact from the cult. Later that day, I got a email not from Salt Lake, but for my Bishop and STake presidency saying they wanted to meet with me about my email. I responded saying please respect my wishes I remove my membership. They followed up saying we want to meet with you tomorrow night.

This email was sent Tuesday on Wednesday even though I never confirmed that I was meeting with them. They still called me over and over again sending me voice messages asking me to meet with them.

Has this ever happened to you before where it is so hard to leave a church that teaches agency for all people and you can do what you want?

Adam/God. Blood Atonement. Black's the seed of the Devil. Black's descendants of Cain & Ham. Blacks being Black because of Cain. Not getting the priesthood until the end of the Millennium. Black's not getting the priesthood until all the descendants able born. Blacks being slothful fence sitters in the pre-existence. The Blood oaths & death oaths in the Temple. The Adam God taught in the temple. Marring 7 other men's wives while they were still married to someone else & calling it rightness & the will of God. Making slavery of Blacks & Native Americans. Telling Elder's to take Lamanites as concubines, so that their children can become white, to fulfill prophecy . Having a Native American slave concubine, who lived in the basement with hired help. Having a secret army withing the army in Utah of former Nauvoo Legion with a church military rank & 5th column military orders from the prophet. Nephite cave in hill Cummorah. That Joseph Smith & many leaders of the church were descendants of Jesus. That That people have to get Joe's permission to get into Heaven. That Elohim made Jesus the good old fashion way with Mary. That 6ft tall Quakers live on the Moon & Sun. That Polygamy is a requirement. That slavery & servitude on Earth is a good thing because it's the way & law in heaven. And that slavehood here helps you learn have to be a good servant in Heaven. That Jesus was a polygamist. That Joseph Smith meet Adam in the Holy of Hollies in the Kirtland temple after dedication. The Interracial Marriage is a sin so great that the atonement can't pay the price. That Black's hair, nose & lips are part of the curse of Cain. That Cain was BigFoot & couldn't be killed. Putting a cross dressing son who sang as a Madame in a bar in charge of the entire Aaronic Priesthood. Sealing a slave to Joe as his servant in Heaven!!!
I say, putting his cross dressing son who sang as a Madame in a bar in charge of the entire Aaronic Priesthood, was Brigham's greatest humanitarian act. He was woke far earlier than the rest of the church.

Kia ora everyone. I wanted to share an update here for the ex-Mormon community. As a fellow cult survivor, I know how complex and challenging it can be to walk away from a high-demand religion, deconstruct ingrained beliefs, and navigate the social and family fallout that so often follows. I volunteer with the team hosting Decult here in Aotearoa New Zealand, and I wanted to let you know about an upcoming gathering focused on post-cult recovery, healing, and education.

On 24 and 25 October 2026, we are holding the second Decult conference ("Voices of Courage: Pathways to Healing and Justice") in Ōtautahi Christchurch, with a full global livestream available online. The programme focuses heavily on coercive control, religious trauma, and post-cult recovery, bringing together survivors, researchers, and trauma-informed mental health clinicians. One of our core aims is upskilling therapists and professionals so they better understand the realities of spiritual abuse and high-control dynamics.

Whether you are living in Australasia or joining us online from North America or anywhere else, you are very welcome. You can check out the full schedule, speaker updates, and livestream tickets atdecult.net/conference-2026/. Wishing you all strength and peace as you build your lives on your own terms.

I’m new to Utah…is this real? What does this actually mean? I’m not judging, I’m genuinely curious? I’m also curious how that is a loop hole? Again….no judgement!

25 years ago we did.

I haven’t heard of one at the church for a long time .. seems like it is less of a thing now?

I think my sister may have posted here previously looking for resources or advice related to my situation. I’m now at a point where I feel ready to ask for help myself.

Please be kind. This has been incredibly difficult to navigate, and I’m genuinely trying to figure out what options and resources are available to me.

I was in a relationship for almost a year with a Presbyterian pastor. The person I experienced privately became very different from the person I initially knew and the person others seemed to know publicly.

During the relationship, I experienced escalating sexual boundary violations, coercion, and ultimately an incident that I experienced and reported as sexual assault. There were also broader concerns involving dishonesty, sexual health, manipulation, and accountability.

He also personally disclosed a number of troubling stories to me about his past behavior with other women. I cannot independently verify those women’s experiences or speak for them, but some of what he told me became much more concerning after what I experienced myself.

I reported what happened to law enforcement and also to the Presbytery. The Presbytery’s process is ongoing and understandably slow. I do believe they are taking my report seriously and trying to investigate the situation responsibly and thoroughly while caring for everyone involved.

I will admit, however, that because of my upbringing in the LDS Church, I have some hesitation about placing all of my trust in any religious institution to protect women when allegations involve men in positions of authority. That is not an accusation against the people currently handling my report-they have treated me with care so far. It is simply part of why I want to understand what independent resources and options exist outside of an internal religious process as well.

I want to be able to speak honestly about my own experience because telling the truth and having a voice matter deeply to me. I also worry about other women potentially having similar experiences, and I want to use my experience to advocate for and support other women. At the same time, I want to do this responsibly. I don’t want to dox anyone, encourage harassment, interfere with an ongoing process, or speak for other women. I also want to understand my rights and any legal or privacy considerations before deciding whether, where, or how to speak publicly.

I’m specifically looking for resources related to:

• Survivor advocacy organizations that help people who want to speak publicly or share their stories
• Attorneys or legal organizations that can help survivors understand their rights and considerations when speaking publicly about their own experiences
• Ways survivors can share their experiences publicly or anonymously
• Journalists or organizations that responsibly work with survivors when allegations involve clergy or someone in a position of public trust
• Independent advocacy, accountability, or reporting avenues outside of religious institutions
• Anyone who can help me think through whether, when, and how to speak publicly in a responsible way

I’m especially interested in Utah-specific resources or connections including survivor advocates, attorneys familiar with helping survivors understand their options for speaking publicly, clergy-abuse advocacy organizations, or journalists who handle these stories responsibly. National resources are also very welcome.

I’m intentionally withholding more information and identifying details because my goal is not for anyone to identify or investigate this person. I’m looking for legitimate resources and guidance about my options.

If you have been through something similar, how did you find a way to tell your story? Did you work with an attorney, victim advocate, journalist, survivor organization, or someone else before speaking publicly? Are there organizations specifically designed to help survivors navigate this-particularly survivors dealing with clergy misconduct or abuse?

I’m not necessarily sure yet what “speaking out” will look like for me. I just know that I don’t want fear or uncertainty about how to do it responsibly to be the reason I never get to tell my story.

Please be kind, and thank you to anyone who can point me toward specific resources, organizations, or people who might be able to help.

TL;DR: I was in a nearly year-long relationship with a Presbyterian pastor and experienced escalating sexual boundary violations, coercion, and an incident I experienced and reported as sexual assault. I reported what happened to law enforcement and the Presbytery, whose investigation is ongoing. I’m now looking for resources to help me understand my options for safely and responsibly speaking out, sharing my story, advocating for other women, and protecting others-including survivor advocates, legal resources, journalists, clergy-abuse organizations, or anyone who has navigated something similar. Utah-specific and national resources are both welcome.

Was at an airport in a prominent tourist destination. A man from Utah (he made this point immediately) started a conversation with two women who were born and raised in Jerusalem. The man almost immediately asks the women: “Have you been to the BYU Jerusalem center?” Both women clearly had no idea what he was talking about. He brings an image of it up on his phone. They still say they have no idea what it is. The man begins rambling about it and its connection to religion and scripture and how wonderful it is and how he is “very surprised” they don’t know what it is.

His further conversation with them was of course laced with every possible reference to the Mormon church….his family, missionaries, temple, etc. I could tell the women were not comfortable with any of it.

Really hit home how clueless Mormons are and what a vacuum they live in. This guy couldn’t comprehend how people didn’t know what BYU Jerusalem was. Buddy, I hate to break it to you, but your religion is non-existent outside of your Utah bubble.

Edit: He later asks them, in all seriousness, “So where are you headed for your next vacation? Utah?” 🤪

My entire side left the church, her entire side left the church, many of her friends have left.

I feel like it's the opposite situation of a lot of people posting here.

It's been years and years but she keeps hanging on.

She feels pretty lonely and judged. She feels like a weirdo sometimes. Not because anyone says anything, everyone's nice to her, but there's that invisible barrier there.

I know cults also make you feel that when you're with outsiders too.

We live in Utah so there can be quite a lot of silent animosity between mormons and exmos. If you live here you know what I mean.

I think she can feel everyone waiting with bated breath for her to snap out of it one day.

She's not too intensely mormon or anything, she doesn't want to bother people if they don't want to be bothered about church stuff.

Anyone else in this situation? I would be interested in hearing your stories about it. It's a bit maddening for me sometimes but I'll just keep patiently waiting for now.

Coming into town this weekend from out of state and I know it’s all the fun pioneer day church celebrations but my friend and I are curious if there’s any great ex mormon events or gatherings for our own little celebration. For example, I had some old friends that used to do pie and beer day instead.

I don’t want to cause family drama so I figured I would share and vent here….

I attended a family reunion recently. All of my family besides my husband and myself are still very active members. A family member shared this story about one of our ancestors.

My great great great grandfather was a polygamist. He and his 3 wives left salt lake and moved to California during the gold rush. Brigham Young commanded the saints to come back to salt lake. My great great great grandmother left her husband and his other wives to “follow the prophet” and came back to salt lake where she later remarried. Out of the three wives, her line has significantly more descendants.

My family member then went on to say that it was because she followed the prophet that her line is so large. Queue eye roll.

I really wanted to comment that I guess my line is just going to dry up then because I won’t be following any prophet anytime soon. Anyway, just overall frustrating that they talk about the church all the time and have little to no regard to how that impacts those of us that are no longer members.

Also, why the obsession with having a lot of descendants? I really do not care if I have direct descendants in a few generations.

Cale Strong, son of "Torn" author Jeff Strong has given an interesting interview on the nuanced faithful podcast "Parrish the Thought." In the 74-minute interview Cale provides a few anecdotes about the MTC, not going on his mission, coming home, his family's reaction, ward members' reactions and general observations about church culture and ultimately resolving issues with his family. The host of the podcast (Brian Keith Parrish) also tells a few of his own family stories during the conversation.

One anecdote from the podcast: Cale spent one year at Stanford and was on the track team before going to the MTC. In his first year at Stanford, Cale had a hip injury and left the track team (but not because of the injury).

Cale mentions at his MTC intake interview, he told the interviewer that he did not want to go on his mission to Japan. The intake interviewer left the room to pray and returned to tell Cale that the spirit told him if Cale went on the mission, his hip would be healed during the mission and he would be able to join the track team on his return. (!!??)

Cale comes off as a very sincere person who really cares about people. I look forward to hearing more of his story on additional interviews.

I’m a single girl and I have to pack and donate so many of my furniture and stuff. It’s been super taxing on my body and my impulse (oddly enough since I’ve been ex-Mo for 5+ years) is to ask the church for help. I could easily give them a fake name and number but damn I could use some help rn

Im 18, freshly graduated. Haven’t been to church in 6 years. Extended and direct family as well as friends have been very pushy about their testimonies and how god will always love me/welcome me, and generally trying to ‘guide’ me back onto the Path of God. I‘m genderfluid (no specific gender, depends on the day), a lesbian, and have never felt truly safe or welcome. Family friends will tell me my mother’s way of religion isnt the only way. Aunts/uncles will corner me at family reunions to bear their testimony. My mother and father both keep inviting me to church, saying it would be rude to keep denying/not taking the Young Womens’ invitations. They also keep defending anyone who bears their testimony, and I’m tired of it. Ive been very clear about not going back to church to everyone above. How did you guys handle these situations? did you cut these people off? try to explain yourself? I’m genuinely lost on what to do. I care about these people but I cannot keep getting testimonies and god loves yous.

The spirit of discernment has seen fit to call me to the Elders quorum presidency once again.

Our last meeting was actually quite short (and I always bring things back to community and actually helping people). After a few minutes it was “bishop” this, and “president” that, and it just kept going and going. A 30 minute meeting had over 60 references to local leaders by their titles, and even more references to callings.

It just sank in even more that this is a corporation based on titles, rank, and ladder climbing (no doubt the current EQP is bucking for bishop).

As the rebranding campaign continues, I think an emphasis on worshipping local leaders will be the next item. I can already see it here with our current SP (who most likely will be promoted to GA in the next year or so).

Y'all my dad watched this movie called "The Amish Stud" and the plot revolves around a man pressuring his wife to break Amish rules around sex (specifically oral sex). He started going off about how weird and restrictive it is and that, "at least the church isn't that bad" 😐 I mentioned the letter and he tried brushing it off with classics like, "well, it was part of the culture" and "maybe it was just taught incorrectly on the local level".

Does anyone know where it could be found on the church's website, if at all? I thought I'd check here first before I waste my time since it's such a maze.

I was able to find the original document online, but you know how these things go. It's not a credible source unless it's on the (definitely impartial) church's website 🤪