r/dadjokes 1h ago

What does a photographer call a WIP?

Upvotes

A photodraft.


r/dadjokes 1h ago

What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t come back to you?/ What is brown and sticky?

Upvotes

A Stick is the answer. But I was wondering if anyone knows of any other set of multiple jokes with the same punchline?


r/dadjokes 2h ago

what is the name of an ancient Greek king who likes to play?

2 Upvotes

A Game Mnon.


r/dadjokes 2h ago

I just won $1 billion in the lottery and gave a quarter of it to charity!

32 Upvotes

I don’t yet know how I’m going to spend the other $999,999,999.75, though.


r/dadjokes 3h ago

I highly recommend Nolan’s new film.

30 Upvotes

You really Odyssey it.


r/dadjokes 3h ago

Apparently the “W” fell off the door for the women’s restroom.

12 Upvotes

It's not a good sign

Had to report due to spelling correction sabotage.


r/dadjokes 3h ago

The label came off one of my paint cans.

9 Upvotes

It’s prolly urethane


r/dadjokes 4h ago

Why didn't the dyslexic mathematician trust his guardian angel?

15 Upvotes

He felt he was too obtuse


r/dadjokes 4h ago

What’s the difference between Wuhan and Vegas?

0 Upvotes

What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas.


r/dadjokes 5h ago

Alice: What would be Greece's National Bird?

0 Upvotes

Bob: Eagle, maybe?

Alice: The Lyre Bird.


r/dadjokes 5h ago

I wasn’t going to get a brain transplant…

61 Upvotes

.. but then I changed my mind


r/dadjokes 5h ago

I used to hate facial hair….

4 Upvotes

…but then it grew on me.


r/dadjokes 6h ago

META I figured it out: we're up/down voting robots

0 Upvotes

This is all a grand experiment by AI, they flood the sub with word play and we up/down vote to teach them humor. 'cause there ain't NO WAY some of ya'll are human posting this .. terrible jokes.


r/dadjokes 6h ago

Went hiking with my musician friend.

3 Upvotes

It started flat but there was a sharp increase in difficulty as with a higher frequency the pitch increased.


r/dadjokes 6h ago

Can you tell me what the 14th and 15th letters of the alphabet are?

1 Upvotes

No


r/dadjokes 6h ago

Tried to order a new battery online...

1 Upvotes

It said 'Delivery: Free of Charge' so I guess I'll have to shop elsewhere.


r/dadjokes 6h ago

Why did the gambler throw up?

1 Upvotes

His vegas nerve gave out


r/dadjokes 7h ago

META Do gay midgets

0 Upvotes

come out of the cabinet?


r/dadjokes 7h ago

Who is an Imperial Battle Droids favorite James Bond?

4 Upvotes

Roger, Roger.


r/dadjokes 7h ago

They opened up a hemp-fed cattle ranch in the mountains near my house.

2 Upvotes

The steaks have never been higher.


r/dadjokes 7h ago

My wife wants to use kilometers instead of miles but still use inches instead of centimeters.

278 Upvotes

I told her I wouldn't meter halfway.


r/dadjokes 7h ago

What kind of bean can't grow in a garden?

4 Upvotes

Jelly bean


r/dadjokes 7h ago

I bought a new book on how to protect myself from scammers.

3 Upvotes

All they needed was my full name, address, email, phone number, and $900.00.


r/dadjokes 7h ago

One evening a farmer decided to go down to the pond, as he hadn’t been there for a while, and look it over. He grabbed two buckets to bring back some fruit.

152 Upvotes

As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee. As he came closer, he saw it was a bunch of young women skinny dipping in his pond. He made the women aware of his presence and they all went to the deep end of it.

One of the women shouted to him, "We're not coming out until you leave!"

The farmer frowned, "I didn't come down here to watch you ladies swim naked or make you get out of the pond naked." Holding the bucket up he said, "I'm here to feed the alligator.”