Greetings,

I seek information on what to do when another Homo Sapien approaches and attempts a communicative ritual.

My prior strategy saw me stretch the skin flaps on my orbitals to their maximum capacity ("staring") in order to show it that I understand their attempts at speaking with me.

However, this procedure has warranted exclusion behaviors from other Homo Sapiens.

Why is this so? Elaborate.

I’m F(18) and my social skills suck. There’s been numerous times where I’ll talk to someone and they’ll say I look scared or like I’m on the verge of tears. I’ll admit that I’m on the shyer side but I don’t mean to give off that energy. I can’t help that I look unnaturally awkward while I’m just existing.
I’ve tried to fix myself body language and stand up straighter and be more open but 9/10 it comes off as robotic no matter how warm I try to be. I used to not care what people think all the time but my confidence is beginning to lower because of this and it’s making life unnecessarily difficult. I don’t know what to do anymore, help! I need advice on being less awkward and maybe fixing my body language or conversation skills??

When I was in school I had transferred schools about four times I also dealt with heavy family problems and didn’t really have a support system. I think the combination of those factors as well as experiencing the covid lockdown right after transferring to a new school caused me to be an extremely socially anxious person. It was like I knew who I was and wanted to express myself and crack jokes to people but anytime someone I didn’t know very well would talk to me my brain would shut down and go blank and I would blush and I had absolutely no control over it. Eventually I kinda just gave up trying to put myself out there and just accepted being to myself. I had a few friends but none of them felt very genuine and maybe that was because there was such a disconnect between who I was as a person and how I awkwardly presented myself. By senior year I came out of my shell a lot and enjoyed myself but it was kinda too late.

Anyways flash forward to now (a few years later), and I feel like i am a completely different person. I no longer struggle with social anxiety I feel confident in my own skin and am not afraid to show my personality to people. I have built up a good group of people around me from college who have helped me be comfortable and find myself I think. And while im so thankful for the growth i have been able to achieve and the people I have been able to connect with, sometimes it feels like im living a lie. Even though I am my authentic self Im afraid that if the people i am close to now found out how much of a loser i was throughout most of high school they would look at me differently, and its a worry I always come back to.

I don’t know if anyone can relate to this or if anyone has any advice but let me know.

Today I am learning to accept disconfort and using courage to face fear and uncertainty to do what is needed instead of fighting the battle, so I am adapting the pain to manage my trying and now I have more resourches to accomplish my aims because I accept my history and adapt to what my body allows me to focus on what matters, so who is on this spot right now, maybe you can share your experience how you manage it so maybe we can lern something from it.