(flank steak with grechka (aka buckwheat) from Ukraine -- 🇺🇦)

(originally posted on 7/21 and updated on 7/22)

I don't know why I am posting this, but I am having trouble processing some of what happened.

My daughter had a friend stay over Sunday night. They are both 13. I don't live in a bad neighborhood, at least the houses are expensive but actually not far some places are sketchy so I blame myself.

But they did something they have done before, which is to walk about a mile to a shopping center, so they can go to Five Below, Barnes and Nobles, typical stuff kids like.

There is also a McDonald's nearby, and I guess it is sketchy, but as a man, and someone who did not have a daughter until a few years ago when I married her mom, I never thought about things like "this is dangerous for young girls." I never experienced anything like this before.

So they go shopping and end up at mcdonalds and I got off work a little early, saw her location using Find My app and I text her, do you want a ride home? She doesn't answer so I call her. She doesn't answer.

I felt something was off so I went to McDonalds and I go inside a see a 30 something, bald and tattooed, gang banger looking cholo sitting in the booth with the two girls.

To really set the scene, these girls are 13.. THIRTEEN and they had bought stuffed animals and were just eating mcdonalds and this fucking predator came and sat at their booth. One of the girls was blocked in by him and they were scared and didn't want to upset him.

As soon as I saw it I went up and said, "Who are you? I am her father and she is 13."

What reaction would you expect? Shame? Maybe an apology? At the very least, getting the fuck out of there, yeah? Not this guy.

He started arguing, got in my face, got aggressive with me. I backed up and he kept advancing. I learned years ago to not let unstable people get in striking distance, so I retreated another step with my hands up telling him not to come closer, to stop coming at me.

He said "You stepped to me!" fucking punk and I replied "I stepped to my daughter!"

He was tensed up, I felt i was about to have to defend myself. I had a quick release knife in my pocket and I was ready to pull it.

The girls are crying and say they just want to leave and he backs off and we made our exit. I took them home and I went to get my gun, but bad (or good?) news is that I had gone shooting like 2 weeks ago and didn't have any 9mm around. Probably for the best.

Went back to McD, guy is still there so I call the police. I was waiting. I wanted them to check on this guy. He looked like he was on drugs, had tattoos on his arms, neck, some kind of medical patches attached to his arms. Had this crazy dead glazed look in his eyes.

But cops came after 1hour 45 minutes. Dude walked away from McD (of course no car) after about an hour so he was long gone when they arrived.

I made a report, long story short the cops weren't totally useless and saw camera footage and were able to find his identity, so last night I went to the magistrate at like 10pm and put in a criminal complaint. When I explained this to the magistrate he immediately agreed to put out the warrant for simple assault.

The man is a predator and he deserves worse. There is no fucking world where this 36 year old man (I got his name, DOB, address everything) should approach two young girls like this and sit at their booth. It's insane.

I felt rage I never felt before. After the police had arrived and said if they found him, could press charges for assault so i started looking for the guy in my car, driving around the shopping areas and neighborhoods.

Also found out he has priors, got his mugshot from last year. It's kind of outdated, he is sporting a moustache now but the good news is he will have a new mugshot to add to his collection soon, with a more refreshed look!

That's my story. I am working on getting my security up at the house, privacy scrubbed online, optics on my 9mm zero'd in and installing quick access gun safes near the entry points.

Fucking predators. I can't even...

EDIT: Reddit autobanned my account for a comment it claimed was "glorifying or inciting violence" but they have restored after appeal.

after going to the courthouse, I found out this guy has multiple charges, including active pending charges that include:

Assault and battery
Abduction/Kidnapping
malicious wounding
violation of protective order

I waited until my wife got home from work to tell her what I found. As far as she knew, it was just a random creep. I showed her the mug shots and the charges and her jaw literally dropped. i could see the tears in her eyes. and I hate to say it but I felt vindicated. It's not that my wife didn't take it seriously, but I felt she and the girls did not truly understand how dangerous that man was. The things that I felt by instinct the minute I saw him, they finally understood after seeing this undeniable evidence. I feel I saved my daughter's life that day.

Later we sat my daughter down and showed her the mug shots and she started crying. It is scary but I felt she had to know the truth of what happened.

This man is walking free, today! Stay safe out there.

EDIT 2: hi everyone, thank you for the response, I had a busy day and also couldn't figure out how to post replies, but now I am flaired!

I first posted this to r/offmychest yesterday and then reposted here today, sorry for the wonkiness there.

I want to add that I changed one important detail and it is something that hurt me the most, that actually I called my daughter first and she sent me to voicemail. I know because it rang 3 times and then to voicemail. At this moment I was parking at McD and she texted back, less than a minute before I walked in and saw the situation "i'm good" when I asked if she needed a ride. I know she might have been scared or thought she would be in trouble or didn't recognize the danger but that hurt me so much that she not only didn't ask for help, but she turned me away. Her story is that the man had just sat down a few minutes before I got there, not sure how exactly true that is but I will be requesting the video footage via FOIA (cop recording a copy using his cell phone camera on the CC TV monitor and uploaded it to their database).

But I have heard all the feedback, don't blame her or anything like that so I just told her how I felt once, how much it would hurt me to be powerless in a situation where she is in danger and I think she understood, so I just won't bring it up. She is a puppy and doesn't understand the world, she probably thought he was just a strange but friendly guy even if slightly creepy, not realizing the danger she was in :(

For two and a half years I’ve been trying to get divorced. My ex was a liar and thief. She lied about two previous husbands. She stole $17k on my credit cards. I’m attempting an amicable divorce, we just cut our losses and move on.

Well last Monday was our final hearing. She refused to show. I’m in therapy and really really trying to let go of my anger. But she’s keeping me locked in. And we’re now past 180 days from the filing, so we get to start completely over again. The process server will be waiting in front of her work tomorrow.

I’m so deeply angry at her. I know it doesn’t do anything to her but she literally set my path in life back a full year. And I’m stuck in this holding pattern, where I can’t just move on. Divorce sucks, get a prenup if you have anything of value.

21M 19F getting married on friday 24th (2 days from posting) to the love of my life

Very excited for what is to come, despite it all being in the fog

Any advice maybe? Thanks for reading 🎉🥳

Edit: Thank you to all of those who gave me advice having went through the same thing and succeeded, to those who didn't and warned me of what to stay away from, and those who spoke from a place of hatred, reminding me I should always try to remain positive!

Cheers 🍾

I live in southern CA, where rents can easily be $3500-$4000 for a 2 bedroom apartment. I was working 2 jobs, 70+ hours a week to stay afloat when my wife had our baby girl this January. My wife worked full time too but took time off for the pregnancy with maternity leave.

We decided that we did not want me working my life away once the baby was here, and my parents offered to let us rent the upstairs rooms for super cheap.

Moving back home allowed me to quit my part time job and spend more time with my wife and daughter. We live about 2 hours away from my full time job but I make it work by doing some remote days and some hotel days. I am always looking for jobs that are closer.

I always thought I'd own a home at age 34 but my parents treat my wife like their own daughter and they love their granddaughter. It has its pros and cons but for now we are living the old-school multigenerational household life. I am extremely blessed to have loving and respectful parents that are alive and doing well.

Dinner is NY strip, pickled red onions with grape tomatoes, and Jasmine rice

Hi all, first time poster (24M). It’s funny, this subreddit has been coming up on my feed recently and I wasn’t sure why but I suppose it was a sign.

My relationship of 3.5 years ended last night when she told me she was a lesbian. She’d always been bisexual and favored women but I’ve been “the exception”. And I really was. We loved eachother, fully, deeply, thoroughly. I was a good boyfriend, and she was a good girlfriend. We loved eachother romantically, she’d write me poems and take care of me, and I’d plan dates of beautiful things and great time and more. We constantly has stimulating mental conversation and blended so well in every way, we were always physically connected either hugging, holding hands, or cuddling. We couldn’t go time without it really…. But sexually there was nothing. She never knew why, she thought something was wrong and so did I but it never mattered because we loved eachother so utterly and we were enjoying 3.5 years of bliss and vacations and laughter and growth. We never argued, just enjoyed our days and planned when we’d get engaged and what our children would be named.

Then she asked for space. No determined time, Monday she just texted me. The day before we’d been at my parents watching the World Cup, laughing, hugging, kissing, being in love. Then space became one day, then two, then it became “let’s
Meet and talk at a halfway point”. I called, because it was late and I couldn’t wait until tomorrow and that’s when it ended, she said she was a lesbian and she loved me but I deserved someone who would be sexually attracted to me. We both wanted to get married, we still do.

I think I’m typing here for strangers because I’m tired of everyone I know saying “fuck her” or “she didn’t deserve you” because I don’t want to hate her I want to marry her. She was really an amazing girlfriend. I’ve been with my parents and with my friends, and yet 24 hours haven’t even gone by. Im naseous from not eating and naseuous from eating so that’s annoying. I’m sad, frustrated, and grieving. I don’t blame her or me, she didn’t choose to be a lesbian, but she was my best friend, my rock, and my routine. We were enamored with eachother and I know it. I don’t know if I want advice or to just to vent to be honest. It’s cruel, the entire situation is cruel and I miss my girlfriend.

Pictured is leftover soup my dad made me tonight that I couldn’t finish even though I know I desperately need to eat

Hey maybe this community can help me help myself here, my gf says I’m being insecure when I gently inquire and comment as to why she feels the need to respond thankyou to every random person that dms her about her physical looks?(this has came up a few times) Btw this is at the same time she won’t tag my ig in any of our photos she posts together (dancing, kissing, swimming etc) because she says she doesn’t want any women following me. Also my ig is 100% private and I don’t post I just got it so she could send me reels. Ok thanks guys! Oh wait yea one time I left a bar we were out getting drinks at for 2 minutes to grab my jacket outside while she was talking to friends and she called me frantic in the middle of the street worried I’d met someone else.
%98 double scoop ice cream for scale it’s truly the last best thing on earth but yea anyways getting back to the point am I trippin here totally ready to hear it if so

TW: gender dysphoria

I ended my relationship of several years in january and was planning on resetting my life somewhat and focus on myself. I move into my new place in september and wasn't even gonna think about dating until I got situated there.
Well of course, about six weeks ago, I met a woman online, or rather she reached out to me, answering a post I made looking for gaming buddies. We hit it off right away, exchanged pictures and started talking daily to each other, about hobbies, interests, politics, fears, ambitions...
I was pretty scared because she seemed too good to be true and there were some warning signals that I chose to ignore - or rather I chose to trust her. She has some issues (that we actually share) and I was understanding and didn't push her when it came to certain things. I thought my trust was either going to pay off big or it would be a lesson. Now I don't know what it is.

Since we live a few hours apart we decided to meet up during my summer vacation which is this week. We had made plans to spend a day together and get used to each other in person, very low pressure.

Well, yesterday she dropped the bomb on me. She is trans, her photos were of some other person and she is too scared to send me an actual picture or meet up with me. She is basically living as a shut in and she rarely leaves the house. She thought, if I got to know her and we fell in love, all of that wouldn't matter. So she lied to me and just pushed the thought of our date to the side, knowing it wouldn't happen.

The sad thing is, I don't have a problem with her being trans, I would like to meet her and see if we have a future even after she lied to me. But in reality I don't know if this person even exists as they say. All of our conversations were very real, I don't doubt the connection we have for one second but after being deceived like this and her unwillingness to prove her existence to me, I don't see how I can go on. I feel betrayed and it really hurts and I know she is gonna hurt just as much and it breaks my heart but I can't go on like this.

If you happen to read this A, I'm sorry, I had to vent.

Dinner: Spaghetti aglio e olio with parm.

EDIT:
Clarifications/Update

First of all, thank you so much for your sweet comments, support and advice and for staying mostly respectful. I read all of them and thought I'd offer some more info:

Some of you suggested, I meet up with her anyway. I would have liked to do that but she told me, that she doesn't like her appearance and her body and she could not face me the way she looks, so there's really no chance of that happening.

Some people questioned the state of her transition and suspect this to be the source of her insecurities. For the record, she told me a time line and general state of her transition but at this point it doesn't matter since I have a hard time believing her and I wont get to see her anyway.

As for the update:

I messaged her, told her all my thoughts and feelings and she reiterated, that she could not face me in the near future and that she wants to hide in her room and dream of our future instead.

You can call me a naive fool but I still don't think that she lied about everything, I know it sounds weird but she was pretty upfront with some of the bad realities of her life, just not the extent. I think that's partly why the whole story was believable to me. The pictures she sent me weren't of some model, they were very average. She maintains, that pretty much everything she told me about her life is true except that she is, and I quote "trans and ugly". That broke my heart, its fucking sad. I think she is completely terrified and very lonely and she sees no future version of herself that could be any different so she chooses to dream instead.
And I can relate so hard because I used to live in my own head for a long time. I didn't like myself and struggled with human connection but I got desperate at some point and started living life. I had it easy compared to her though, she doesn't see a way out of her situation.

So I offered her to think about a friendship instead, which I know is risky and stupid. I just feel that's the thing, she really needs most right now and some of you suggested that as well. I'm scared to drag her along but I'll give it a shot if she agrees. We decided to give our communication a rest for now and talk in a few days about where we stand and how to proceed. I will think about some hard boundaries since I don't want to feed this phantasy of our future any more. Also I will try to find resources about how to deal with someone who lives as a shut in. Maybe I can be a positive influence in her life.

At the end of the day, no matter what she told me, she is still an awesome person in many regards.

I'm 32 years old... I've known about my attraction to men since forever, but I have developed genuine sexual/romantic feelings for a few female partners also throughout my life. It was a major internal conflict through high school. Even as a kid, I always felt that claiming bisexuality was an out for me to avoid labeling myself as gay. Growing up, this notion has only been more solidified as I move through life. A lot of people genuinely believe that a man cannot be bisexual, and if he is, then he's really just gay. My own lesbian best friend has said this... despite knowing that I'm in the closet. Idk... she's even made some "gay-intolerant" statements that implies she wouldn't understand my struggle.

I grew up in a "ghetto-suburban" area that's relatively progressive, but my community (friends, family, acquaintances) are overall homophobic and think they're "from the streets"... They have a few gay friends, but have made a lot of homophobic statements in the past. The only gay people they regularly hang out with are lesbians, not actual men who likes other men. My parent's aren't exactly homophobic (they have plenty of gay friends) but they have made statements that make it hard for me to want to tell them. My dad himself has told me that my Grandma would be "very disappointed" if I was gay. This was within the last few years. I have some gay friends that know, but most of them start trying to get with me instead of actually trying to help me process this. One even tried to "out" me 🙄 because I was "in denial". So... my family is homophobic, my lesbian best friend is gay-phobic, my community is homophobic, and my gay friends just want to hook up... It feels like I keep getting denied who I am everywhere I go and whoever I talk to. I just want someone to say "you are bisexual." I've even had a few gay people scoff at me and go "you mean you're secretly gay" when I tell them I'm bisexual... Seems like straight people want me to be either gay or straight and gay people want me to be exclusively gay. Why are people so uncomfortable with bisexuality? Towards men at that. I think my Lesbian friend is having trouble understanding me because she came out in middle school and have had absolutely no friction with that. She was accepted by everyone. The most homophobic dudes also. I don't think I'll get that same grace

I've gotten to the point where I'm very comfortable in myself being bisexual. I genuinely love both genders, and enjoy "doing things" with both. I don't want to exclude either gender from my dating pool. I would say I'm ready to come out, but I just need a way out since I still live with my brother and our landlord. I'm working towards being completely independent in case I need to withdraw from my family and rest of my community should they not receive the news well. I'm not ashamed of myself, but the possible repercussions are very real. And my community can be vindictive.

The frustrating part is... I'm chronically single. I go on lots of dates, but ultimately, I just feel like I haven't met anyone, male or female, that's worth it to give up this amazing independent life I've built and am continuing to build for myself. The list of "attractive" people I've dated and chose not to pursue a relationship with is long lol

That doesn't bother me, dating can be so fun, and I've met a handful of friends this way when we decide that we're not going to work out, but I have and have always had way too many friends in very toxic relationships that I'm very careful in who I choose to build a life with together.

Often, people start questioning my sexuality because i'm "too attractive" to be single, but its genuinely less of a in the closet situation, and more of a "havent met the one" situation as corny as it sounds. Everytime, I really wanted to say, "I'm bisexual... I like both men and women and i'm still single... by choice." But then I feel like it's going to become a "are you bi? Or are you really gay" debate which I just don't have the time or energy for anymore... I'm tired of trying to validate MYSELF to people.

To be honest, Idk what this post is really about... I just want to feel heard by someone.

Featuring an overcooked pizza. Too crispy for my liking.

I think I should have settled for the narcissist.

She was willing to get married to me so long as I gave her everything she wanted, and not just materialistically. She was also willing to do the same. Sure, her parents were racist and she was ignorant. She had no time management skills, never took accountability for her actions and had a criminal record as well as a 5 year marriage she hid from me. She somehow always made me feel bad about having an opinion she didn’t agree with which lead to arguments and my apologizing for expressing my opinions.

But she had money, knew what she wanted, was beautiful and the sex was great. The good sex was the first red flag ironically.

I left her on February 16th. One day after my birthday and two days after Valentine’s Day which was also the night I said I loved her.

I spent hundreds of dollars on her between flowers, dinners, and booking the trip for Valentine’s Day.

She gifts me a $40 bottle of knock off cologne for my birthday.

I got out of her car, and said I’m done with you and walked away. She never reached out for an explanation or to try and fix things. She blocked my number and social media accounts before I even boarded the plane to go home.

It was long distance, I flew down to see her twice in 4 months. Spent a total of 10 days together. She was supposed to meet my parents the following month after the break up.

I’ve been crying myself to sleep more often than usual over the past two months. Thinking that despite the potentially harmful situation I was going to enter, that I should have just taken the psychological abuse I was being set up for. To accept that nothing else was going to come my way. I say to myself that I shouldn’t have left and just suffered in silence because she was a means to an end just like I was to her.

I’m genuinely tired of dating, I enjoy being alone but done like the feeling of being lonely.

This is why I wish I settled.

EDIT: to add what caused the break up. It was her consistent lateness over the weekend and never apologized about it. I waited over an hour at the airport for her when she lived 40 min away. She made us late to dinner reservations, and late checking out of the Airbnb.

When I asked her about it, while my voice was trembling because I didn’t want to cry, she told me to fix my tone when I spoke to her.

Dinner is what I had for Father’s Day because it makes me happy. Tlayuda Mixta for those wondering - very delicious.

Basically as it says in the title.

TLDR: My 6 month old daughter had a febrile seizure that required me to administer CPR and it’s a lot to hold onto.

This is gonna be ranty and prob disjointed because I’m still not 100% all there mentally.

Leading up to the event, I was getting her ready for bed. I had taken her temp about an hour prior and it was within the lower range the doctors said was safe, she had vaccines that morning so was running a little fever. I put her in a lightweight footy, put her on my chest and she fell asleep. After about 10-20 minutes she popped her head up and stared at me for a second and her eyes rolled up in her head while she sounded like she was gasping for air. Immediately followed was a full body seizure. I called my wife in to help and as I put her on the bed she was turning all shades of grey and blue. She became totally unresponsive and wasn’t breathing after the seizing subsided. The whole time our owlet sock is screaming at us showing her O2 and heart rate dropping. Wife called 911 while I put her on the floor and did chest compressions for about 15-20 seconds until she started coming to. EMS came and her fever had spiked to 102. When we got to the hospital she had another seizure albeit less severe. 6 hours in the hospital later they determined it to be febrile seizures, gave her meds and she was discharged without incident.

I hardly slept and just spent the time dozing off for 10 seconds at a time and waking up panicked to continue watching her while she slept. She slept so much today coming off the meds they gave her, I was terrified that when she finally woke up she’d be different or have some sort of complications related to the lack of oxygen. But she didn’t - she started smiling and laughing at me once she saw me despite everything she went through and holy shit, it broke me up. i literally collapsed on the floor with elation. I’m really conflicted because on the one hand I’m very thankful that she came out of it alright, but at the same time I’m struggling with reliving the whole ordeal - the mental images and sensations of giving her CPR are very overwhelming when I remember them - and wondering if there’s anything I could’ve done better and there’s also a degree of guilt for not catching the fever sooner. If anyone has gone through something similar what kinds of things helped you get through the mental hurdles?

Also, please, if you have a young child and haven’t taken a CPR/First Aid class, do it ASAP. Idk what I would’ve done if we hadn’t had that knowledge.

Edit for clarification

Edit for gratitude:
I cant get to replying to everyone’s comments because they’re all making me ugly cry, but thank you so much to everyone for the well wishes and words of advice. I’ve never played so much Tetris in my life, but if it helps why not. I was apprehensive to post this on Reddit, but I honestly feel so much more validated and like I did exactly what I needed to do. Putting words out into the universe and hearing affirmations back has been immensely helpful in stifling my self-doubts. Thank you all again.

It makes me a little crazy because she has a PHD so she should know. I don’t say anything about it, though, because who cares. That’s all, nothing crazy. Pizza made in my Ooni.

Never done one of these but I guess I just really wanted to put it into words.

I’ve been in this relationship for going on 6 years soon. (Me25) (She28) and it’s been the best I’ve ever been in since the start, never had I wanted to better myself and continue to do so for someone so strongly before, nor ever felt as supported and cared for in my life by anybody else. The only thing is the sex life between us, things had started very strong and very frequent in the start.

I know that sort of intimacy is supposed to slow down as time goes on but, we’re like still in our twenties y’know? And surely I haven’t slowed down at all. It’s just that lately it’s come to a point where it feels like a really big hurdle to get her in the mood, and I don’t mean that in a way where I’m saying that it’s troublesome or annoying, I know things take effort. It’s just that it wasn’t like that before. We’ve talked about it before and she’s started to really question her own sexuality, in the sense of being potentially asexual. This makes it really hard for me, any time I have feelings of intimacy it just turns into guilt and I generally feel gross. Ever since she’d mentioned that she feels the way she does it’s made me second guess whether or not she actually wants to be having sex or if she’s just trying to fill a quota to make sure I don’t go anywhere. There’s a part of me that’s like “well absolutely not, no matter what I love you” but at the same time now, I don’t think it’s normal to feel like a monster to have typical human feelings. I’m just not certain how to make it not feel personal when we’ve gone from 2-3 times a week to once a month and if it’s on that month, if I don’t finish fast I’m not finishing.

Who knows, maybe I should just mellow out and not think about it too much, because really she’s just the sweetest, goofiest, and loveliest person ever. We basically feel like we’d known each other since forever in other lifetimes and I wouldn’t trade the world for it. However, again these feelings can’t be normal. A tiny bit of history for us is that we’ve been living together since the very start of the relationship and never had problems outside of this. We even just recently got a kitten and he’s kickass. But yeah anyways, I know it’s a little scatter brained and I know that I’m the only one who can say if it’s worth it to continue to make it work, just putting it all into words and maybe looking for advice on the matter

Pic: Zelsius for lunch

Pan seared Grassfed sirloin and oven chips (broccoli was consumed off screen.) I'm an American and moved to England in 2020 with my English wife. I thought the lack of friends was because of the pandemic. Six years in, it seems to be something else. I cant quite understand how the english speak. I feel like when they speak in a way that is clear to me it's too late. I had real close relationships in California but here there seems to be a layer between me and everyone I know. We also found out I'm autistic which does not help

Ive been struggling with feeling alone lately. I’m 28 and most of my childhood friends have moved on. I lost touch with everyone which I don’t really care THAT much about. But I’ve made a few really good friend over the years I still talk to and hangout with but as we all get older everyone gets busy and I don’t really feel like I’ve got that close connection with anyone anymore. Idk if it’s just me or if I’m just overthinking it.
I also have only had 1 real girlfriend, some failed talking stages but that’s it. Everyone else seems to have such an easy time dating and idk why it seems almost impossible for me.
I feel like I’m in this endless cycle where I get up early, work all day, come home and eat dinner and in a couple hours I go to bed and do it all again. Sometimes a really wish I had someone to talk to everyday or to share things with but It feels like I’ve got no one.
Not trying to spew a sob story, just wanted to know if anyone else feels this way or if it’s just me

Not dinner, but pizza and fruit for lunch

Made lots of mistakes, lied on a resume, made it very far and far more qualified compared to the other coworkers. Can’t afford my rent let alone car note, now I’m expected to ship out for military service as a last resort, not bad I suppose.

I was a mess, drinking on a weekly basics to the point I was going drunk to my classes for my MSW program, I ended up with a 4.0 gpa for my 1st year. Now, I go for 10 mile walks Monday through Friday, which has been a huge help for my sobriety. I just feel like a new person and I shed some pounds. Here's my homemade tacos I've made again

Hotel breakfast at work lol

So me (20) and girlfriend (26) just broke up. We have been together 2 1/2 years and moved in together 6 months ago and still have just under a year left in our lease. The hardest thing about this break up is it was mutual, and we still have love for each other. We are both very stubborn people and there was just too much arguing. She’s Jewish, I’m not, and wants to raise kids Jewish. She wants a kid at 30, and I most definitely do not want a kid at 24. Those issues ultimately deteriorated our relationship over time. We also discussed that we need to close the door on our relationship but not lock it forever. We both have qualities/characteristics to work on in order to be the best version of ourselves for our future partner/s and just in general. We both know that trying to get out of the lease early is the best but it won’t just happen overnight. Anyways, we want to create a list of boundaries for the meantime (we are also both aware how hard it’s going to be to follow said boundaries until we actually move out). Something else I feel like I should add is we would like to still be friends. Obviously from on outside perspective that could seem like a bad idea, so if anyone has any experience in that department that would be much appreciated. Also if anyone has any advice on certain boundaries to add to the list that would be great, or just advice in general. Thank you.

I’ve been traveling for work where we are having some new trainings. They reserved a room at a hotel for me and in the mornings we drive to another hotel to join the seminar.

I didn’t pay attention when I arrived to the hotel and just put the address on the gps and arrived. I beelined to the conference room to be in time.

Once in there I started noticing things that looked familiar. The carpet in the room seemed familiar, the walls, the doors, even the smell. It wasn’t until we took a break and we headed to the lobby where the receptionist was offering single warm cookies on paper bags that it hit me. It was the same specific hotel chain I would stay with my ex when I would go see her on the weekends.

I thought I was almost done with the process of grieving that relationship. Boy was I wrong. I had to pretend I was fine for 5 hours until I was able to run to my car. The moment I closed the door I started crying and hyperventilating. Drove back to my hotel with tears on my eyes the whole way.

I have two more days to go at these seminars. I’ll be fine but damn, this grieving process is taking forever.

made some stupid tex mex slop bowls she always loved. been over a week and not a day i havent cried after i get home. hanging with friends a lot helps and distracts me because theyre all lovely people but getting home to the same bed she ended things in just hurts. i was deeply in love and now i gotta learn to be alone with myself again. i know all the mature thoughts and things im supposed to think and say but at night before bed it justs hits all over and i just feel pathetic again. gonna have a beer and watch a movie and try not to think about it again.

I'm 22. Never had a girlfriend. I've always been self conscious, partly because I have a chronic skin condition that makes it dry as fuck and my idea of friends got fucked up by middle school bullying (first I got bullied, the I did the bullying so I wouldn't be bullied). I think I still have some issues from that, but college helped and I've some new friends.

Luckily after puberty my skin calmed down a lot, and since I don't get big rashes anymore so that's nice. Also just by growing up I've realised girls are just people. Other than that, I do think I have a nice face and a good sporty looking body, so I'm becoming somewhat confident in myself.

Anyway, I met someone. We've known about each other for a long time, but we really only started talking a few weeks ago. She likes hiking and outdoorsy stuff just like me. And she's nice. Yeah, I like her.

I got pizza at work

Ended a 9 year relationship at the beginning of 2025 then moved back to my home town for a good job.

I had planned to be single and work on my self when I moved back but within a couple of months I reconnected with an old acquaintance and we hit it off. I had an online crush on her and didn't expect her to reciprocate but boy was I wrong.

We went on a few chill dates and she made some boundaries early on about wanting to take it slow and I was so down for it because I had a lot of goals I wanted to achieve and I did achieve alot of them so it was all feeling really good.

The timing was perfect for me and the slow roll into a relationship felt fun and easy but for her a few things fell apart in her life and she messaged me today saying that she doesn't have the energy to put towards what we are building.

She says she likes me and wishes we could date and be together but going through what's she's dealing with as well as making sure she is giving me what I need is too much for her. She wants to focus on her self and getting better. Which is all so good, I see that as the biggest green flag and I completely support what she wants to do. She is such an amazing woman and I want her to work on her self and get better and I'm so so happy to give her the space and time to do that!

But God dam it hurts, I still feel rejected, I still feel sad, I'm still crying as I write this. I feel very lonely in this moment.

She isn't a big texter so she sent me the message this morning and I replied but haven't heard anything from her since. We had plans to go on a little road trip and an overnight stay in the mountains this weekend but I'm guessing she doesn't want to go now? She didn't mention it, and I feel like a pest messaging her to ask if she still wants to go even just as friends. I want to talk to her in person about all of this but I don't want to ask that of her if she doesn't have the energy, I don't want to be a drain on her at all while she is going through this but I need clarity.

She's so beautiful and funny and smart and we get along so well, I haven't had this in so long. I just don't know what to do with my self.

For dinner I have a pulled pork mac and cheese ready meal and Asian bag salad. Been eating this kinda stuff for dinner every night for the last 6 months and that along with exercise I've lost another 15kgs, shit feeling good in that department.

EDIT! I will add that the reasons behind her mental health being in decline are so real, its stuff she has shared with me and I have seen how it has been effecting her on the day to day, she isn't well. A few people are saying that she is using it an an excuse to cut me off, this is 100% not the case. From the beginning she has been hesitant about us being together due to her personal struggles and trauma. I should have pointed this out better.

Pictured is the remnant of some overcooked potatoes and kielbasa. Also cut up peaches as a side.

I am the primary for everything. I schedule everything. They're on my insurance. I pay for almost everything. I don't remember the last time my ex wife purchased clothes, or anything, for our kids. It's been *years*.

But every single office ends up calling or texting her to confirm appointments. She is not the primary for anything, it's me. But it's as if all of the offices defer to her or put her as the primary.

She's literally never taken our kids to a doctor's appointment before. She ditched when our youngest was 4 months old leaving me to formula feed and figure things out.

Yet they always contact her first. I'm just sick and tired of it.

No advice needed. Dinners are almost over so I'm going to give my kids a bath and we'll read a book and do bedtime.

I'm exhausted.

Lunch time: some mediocre corporate cafeteria turkey with mashed potatoes and a bread roll.

I (31M) am engaged to my fiancée (30F). We’ve been together for 5 years and engaged for about 1.

It’s hard to put into words how we’ve gotten to this point. We’ve had a great relationship and I really do love her, and I think she really loves me. But that “think” is really doing a lot of heavy lifting in this explanation.

On the surface, our relationship is great, we’re financially stable, cordial, & sweet to each other.

Over time, I feel like our core differences are rearing their head a lot more aggressively now that we’re in the “oh we are going to be together for the rest of our lives” phase.

There are a few problems that I’m struggling to adequately articulate. My fiancée and I are very different people. I think the trope of “opposites attract” is nice, but when it comes to core differences between us, I wonder if they’re just differences or core “incompatibilities”.

I’m an extroverted, silly, whimsical, and emotionally expressive individual. She’s introverted, grounded, and doesn’t express her emotions to the same degree as I do.

Maybe a few examples can help. I love playing D&D, and she does not. That’s fine, it doesn’t interest her at all, and that’s not the problem. I find immense joy in sharing the fun I had, or the stories my friends created with her. Unfortunately when I bring up topics like D&D, it’s almost like she just tolerates it until I’m finally done and we can move on. No emotional mirroring, or even pretending to enjoy the fact that I’m excited to share joy with her and it’s deflating because I crave a partner who shares in my excitement, even if they don’t care about the subject matter. I just need to know she’s happy that I’m happy.

This similar sort of sentiment arises when we have conflict. Anytime we argue or have a disagreement, I feel like I’m always the one trying to convey how I feel and why, and a lot of times I’m met with nothing from her, and it takes an hour long monologue from me for her to even try and articulate what she’s feeling in the moment. A lot of times it’s met with “I don’t know what you want me to say” - not in that she thinks she’s absolved from anything, but that I think she literally doesn’t know how to process and articulate her emotions or feelings. The lack of emotional mirroring is just like, so devastating to me.

Not to mention, we haven’t been physically intimate in over a year. I have a much higher sex drive, and have desires and kinks I want to be able to explore, but haven’t because anything she doesn’t perceive as “normal” is “weird” to her and I’m left feeling like a huge piece of what I want in a relationship is just missing.

I finally broached these subjects with her last week after I’ve sat with this for a long time, longer than I probably realized. I feel like if I don’t bring it up, it will never be brought up by her. It was a difficult couple of conversations. I brought up the idea for us to go to couples therapy and putting off wedding planning until we explore this difficulty. Or even discernment counseling to see if this is something we can even rebuild. Tears were shed, she felt hurt, but ultimately agreed to look into therapy options with me. I think that when I proposed, I thought a ring and path forward would help fix things. Classic.

It’s so hard because she’s so sweet. But I need more expressiveness. Articulating how she feels about me. I just feel like I need more from my partner and I’m lacking physical and emotional fulfillment. I asked her if she was marrying me for comfortability’s sake, or if she actually was excited to build a life we both want together. She says the second option, but I have such a hard time believing it. It makes it extra difficult because this doubt feels one sided and I feel like an emotionally unstable guy who is stopping wedding planning on an emotional whim. Her parents moved out here to be closer to us, and on the outside looking in, no one suspects a thing.

I’ve never dealt with this before, and just feel lost and scared some days. Good days confuse me because I’m like “what was I worried about” but it’s always met with days that leave me yearning for more intimacy, emotionally and physically.

EDIT 3: I want to be clear that I do not inundate her with D&D tales and stories because I know she isn’t interested. I don’t care that she doesn’t like D&D, I was just using it as an example moment. On the rare occasion I want to share a detail or story that I figure she might actually enjoy, there isn’t even an attempt to find joy in my excitement. It’s that way with more topics than just D&D. This post is not about D&D lol

EDIT 2: One more note about the lack of physical intimacy that I feel like I should point out to be fair to her - she has had about a year or so of chronic tummy issues that we’re finally looking into medically. I know that is a sizable chunk of the physical intimacy issue, and I do not blame her for this or resent her at all in that regard. What I will say is that the physical intimacy was on the decline before this, and has not recovered.

EDIT: Thanks for listening, advice is welcome, messages of support, people who have experienced similar, anything really.