My wife (32) of 12 years ended up getting a full mommy makeover after gyming with me for a few years and came to the conclusion the gym was not enough.

I fully supported her. She ended up getting a tummy tuck, lipo, bbl, and breast augmentation.

This was an extremely invasive surgery and I was scared but it ultimately came down to her wants.

For the next 2 months after her surgery, I helped bathe her, prepared her low sodium high protein diets everyday, took the kiddos to school, sports, and activities. I took her to her follow up appointments and overall made sure she was okay.

When she fully recovered something changed about her. She was much more confident and carried herself differently. I loved her body before the kids and after the kids as she has always been so attractive to me. For some reason a part of me was not scared that I wouldn’t like her new body.

When we became intimate again, we had to be gentle as we were worried we could hurt her.

But when she fully recovered I don’t want to sound cheesy but something awoke. Our sex became much more sensual, she showed much more initiative, the way she performed oral was even different.

We then started experimenting with different substances during our intimacy sessions.

She talks dirty now (something she never did), is so confident and is open to trying different things in bed, experiments with items and toys.

Our frequency in bed is the same but it has become something even more amazing.

Just wanted to get this off my chest.

Pictured is some seared scallops I had the other week.

I live in southern CA, where rents can easily be $3500-$4000 for a 2 bedroom apartment. I was working 2 jobs, 70+ hours a week to stay afloat when my wife had our baby girl this January. My wife worked full time too but took time off for the pregnancy with maternity leave.

We decided that we did not want me working my life away once the baby was here, and my parents offered to let us rent the upstairs rooms for super cheap.

Moving back home allowed me to quit my part time job and spend more time with my wife and daughter. We live about 2 hours away from my full time job but I make it work by doing some remote days and some hotel days. I am always looking for jobs that are closer.

I always thought I'd own a home at age 34 but my parents treat my wife like their own daughter and they love their granddaughter. It has its pros and cons but for now we are living the old-school multigenerational household life. I am extremely blessed to have loving and respectful parents that are alive and doing well.

Dinner is NY strip, pickled red onions with grape tomatoes, and Jasmine rice

For two and a half years I’ve been trying to get divorced. My ex was a liar and thief. She lied about two previous husbands. She stole $17k on my credit cards. I’m attempting an amicable divorce, we just cut our losses and move on.

Well last Monday was our final hearing. She refused to show. I’m in therapy and really really trying to let go of my anger. But she’s keeping me locked in. And we’re now past 180 days from the filing, so we get to start completely over again. The process server will be waiting in front of her work tomorrow.

I’m so deeply angry at her. I know it doesn’t do anything to her but she literally set my path in life back a full year. And I’m stuck in this holding pattern, where I can’t just move on. Divorce sucks, get a prenup if you have anything of value.

I’m a very small time content creator for a hobby. I got a modest following of over 1K that is almost entirely women. Being fawned over for what I create has done wonders for my self esteem. Sometimes my fans message me, and things tend to get very flirty.

Recently a fan messaged me. Conversation was easy and great. She sends some pictures, she looks like a model. I check to see if they are AI and every test says it’s real. Things get flirty, I send a picture of myself. The conversation went from rapid messages to a dead stop. After a half hour I send another message, only to realize that she has blocked me.

Like I know I’m not ugly. Hell, plenty of my fans have seen my face and still insist on sending me nudes. But man, being rejected so hard like that just fuckin hurts. She liked everything about me up to that point, and then was just immediately disgusted by me.

I try to tell myself that maybe she was a catfish, and she hit the ejection button when she could tell the ruse didn’t have legs for much longer. Or maybe her boyfriend found her phone, a staggering amount of married women message me. Maybe she was messaging a bunch of guys, and she finally secured something with her main priority. But that’s all probably just cope.

Overall, not a big deal. My ego is bruised, and I’m now pretty confident in the belief that some women are just too hot for me to have a chance with, no matter what other attributes I have, or how successful I can get. But it’s not the end of the world.

EDIT: I can’t reply to comments without a flair, and I can’t be bothered with doing that, so this is what you get.

I create erotic content. So when the women message me, they usually are coming in hot and heavy. I don’t understand why replying to these messages is somehow controversial. I guess I can understand why people think this is just creative writing, but you’re just gonna have to take my word for it. The women that consume erotic content are not at all shy about letting you know how much they enjoy your work.

I appreciate your concern for my mental health I guess, but you’re reading a bit much into it. My jimmies were a bit rustled from getting blocked. I was literally just venting into the wind (hence the whole, not asking for advice tag). I don’t think it’s that big of a deal to feel a bit shitty about someone noping completely out of everything just after seeing my face. I feel like being a little bothered from that is a normal reaction. Yes I know rejection is a part of life, but can we just agree that what happened was at least kind of brutal? 🤷‍♂️

Quick back story. 39M single dad. I've been pretty isolated and lonely, work and hobbies don't really involve people. So I've been trying to go out more. There was a sweet band in town tonight so I went! It was a sit down show but a little dance floor up front.

Im just chilling sitting, vibing, listening. A cute lady obviously 10 years younger than me(I'm assuming) sits one seat away a million seats open around. We had made eye contact earlier. Im nervous. Faster grooving song comes on and she taps my shoulder motions, dance? It's loud you can't hear shit, talking isn't a thing. I get nervous and do the idk shrug she walks away.

I get nervous around cute ladies, always have idk why. Once the ice is broken I do great. I think if we could have said even a sentence or two it would have been better. Anyway beating myself up over being a wuss. But also flattered that ladies are still interested! So it's a double edged sword. Just venting. Love you guys, it helps to have a sounding board, not much support in my life right now. First time I've had McDonald's in years but I rode my bike right by and I've had a couple.

Hi all, first time poster (24M). It’s funny, this subreddit has been coming up on my feed recently and I wasn’t sure why but I suppose it was a sign.

My relationship of 3.5 years ended last night when she told me she was a lesbian. She’d always been bisexual and favored women but I’ve been “the exception”. And I really was. We loved eachother, fully, deeply, thoroughly. I was a good boyfriend, and she was a good girlfriend. We loved eachother romantically, she’d write me poems and take care of me, and I’d plan dates of beautiful things and great time and more. We constantly has stimulating mental conversation and blended so well in every way, we were always physically connected either hugging, holding hands, or cuddling. We couldn’t go time without it really…. But sexually there was nothing. She never knew why, she thought something was wrong and so did I but it never mattered because we loved eachother so utterly and we were enjoying 3.5 years of bliss and vacations and laughter and growth. We never argued, just enjoyed our days and planned when we’d get engaged and what our children would be named.

Then she asked for space. No determined time, Monday she just texted me. The day before we’d been at my parents watching the World Cup, laughing, hugging, kissing, being in love. Then space became one day, then two, then it became “let’s
Meet and talk at a halfway point”. I called, because it was late and I couldn’t wait until tomorrow and that’s when it ended, she said she was a lesbian and she loved me but I deserved someone who would be sexually attracted to me. We both wanted to get married, we still do.

I think I’m typing here for strangers because I’m tired of everyone I know saying “fuck her” or “she didn’t deserve you” because I don’t want to hate her I want to marry her. She was really an amazing girlfriend. I’ve been with my parents and with my friends, and yet 24 hours haven’t even gone by. Im naseous from not eating and naseuous from eating so that’s annoying. I’m sad, frustrated, and grieving. I don’t blame her or me, she didn’t choose to be a lesbian, but she was my best friend, my rock, and my routine. We were enamored with eachother and I know it. I don’t know if I want advice or to just to vent to be honest. It’s cruel, the entire situation is cruel and I miss my girlfriend.

Pictured is leftover soup my dad made me tonight that I couldn’t finish even though I know I desperately need to eat

Haven’t really hooked up with someone I don’t know before now. First time with someone after breakup like a year ago.
We met on hinge. Did a date. Was alright. She seemed chill, we didn’t like have a huge spark between us or anything, but it was pretty fun. I don’t think we were both particularly attracted to each other but just kinda bored I guess? Idk
Went to my place. We hooked up. Neither of us finished. Left it super anticlimactic and awkward, maybe a little uncomfortable.
I just feel… bleh after.
Idk what to think about it.
I’d heard hookups were unfulfilling but damn. Some of y’all live like this? Time to over share on the internet!

Dinner: Sugar Free RedBull

Hey maybe this community can help me help myself here, my gf says I’m being insecure when I gently inquire and comment as to why she feels the need to respond thankyou to every random person that dms her about her physical looks?(this has came up a few times) Btw this is at the same time she won’t tag my ig in any of our photos she posts together (dancing, kissing, swimming etc) because she says she doesn’t want any women following me. Also my ig is 100% private and I don’t post I just got it so she could send me reels. Ok thanks guys! Oh wait yea one time I left a bar we were out getting drinks at for 2 minutes to grab my jacket outside while she was talking to friends and she called me frantic in the middle of the street worried I’d met someone else.
%98 double scoop ice cream for scale it’s truly the last best thing on earth but yea anyways getting back to the point am I trippin here totally ready to hear it if so

21M 19F getting married on friday 24th (2 days from posting) to the love of my life

Very excited for what is to come, despite it all being in the fog

Any advice maybe? Thanks for reading 🎉🥳

Edit: Thank you to all of those who gave me advice having went through the same thing and succeeded, to those who didn't and warned me of what to stay away from, and those who spoke from a place of hatred, reminding me I should always try to remain positive!

Cheers 🍾

Long time lurker. Just wanted to vent.

Recently seperated from a long term relationship. We've known each other for a while before dating. Things seem line up, our interests matched, similar hobbies, similar future goals. Ended up living together. At some point in our busy lives, a divide happened in our relationship. She lost her feelings towards me, and in some cases so did I. The differences we had became more apparent. We loved each other dearly, but ultimately we werent able to make things work.

It has been a trend in my life. I find a good person, things are going well, fast forward and we separate. I've been in a few long term relationships and each one of them ended in various ways. Partner cheating, depression, past traumas, life goals changing over time, etc. Breakups are always tough. Despite the number of breakups ive been in, it didnt make this one any easier.

I always give myself time in between relationships and eventually move forward. I know I still have my issues that I need to work through. I consider myself a high functioning trauma victim who is also on the spectrum. Therapy has helped, but wont ever erase the past.

I have a relatively good career/ stable income. I would consider myself a decent looking guy, not a 10 by any means. I don't drink or smoke. No criminal records. Etc.

I'm hopeful that I will find someone. But starting all over just feels overwhelming and exhausting.

I've always wanted kids and the older I get, I feel like my window of opportunity is closing (which it may already have lol). I am hopeful for the future. But I'd be lying to myself if I say things are ok. Life has been a constant struggle. And as I get older, everything just seems to get tougher. Anyways, thanks for hearing me rant.

I appreciate everyone that made it this far lol.

Jollibee - two peice chicken joy, fries, and a pineapple quencher. And gravvvvyy!

TW: gender dysphoria

I ended my relationship of several years in january and was planning on resetting my life somewhat and focus on myself. I move into my new place in september and wasn't even gonna think about dating until I got situated there.
Well of course, about six weeks ago, I met a woman online, or rather she reached out to me, answering a post I made looking for gaming buddies. We hit it off right away, exchanged pictures and started talking daily to each other, about hobbies, interests, politics, fears, ambitions...
I was pretty scared because she seemed too good to be true and there were some warning signals that I chose to ignore - or rather I chose to trust her. She has some issues (that we actually share) and I was understanding and didn't push her when it came to certain things. I thought my trust was either going to pay off big or it would be a lesson. Now I don't know what it is.

Since we live a few hours apart we decided to meet up during my summer vacation which is this week. We had made plans to spend a day together and get used to each other in person, very low pressure.

Well, yesterday she dropped the bomb on me. She is trans, her photos were of some other person and she is too scared to send me an actual picture or meet up with me. She is basically living as a shut in and she rarely leaves the house. She thought, if I got to know her and we fell in love, all of that wouldn't matter. So she lied to me and just pushed the thought of our date to the side, knowing it wouldn't happen.

The sad thing is, I don't have a problem with her being trans, I would like to meet her and see if we have a future even after she lied to me. But in reality I don't know if this person even exists as they say. All of our conversations were very real, I don't doubt the connection we have for one second but after being deceived like this and her unwillingness to prove her existence to me, I don't see how I can go on. I feel betrayed and it really hurts and I know she is gonna hurt just as much and it breaks my heart but I can't go on like this.

If you happen to read this A, I'm sorry, I had to vent.

Dinner: Spaghetti aglio e olio with parm.

EDIT:
Clarifications/Update

First of all, thank you so much for your sweet comments, support and advice and for staying mostly respectful. I read all of them and thought I'd offer some more info:

Some of you suggested, I meet up with her anyway. I would have liked to do that but she told me, that she doesn't like her appearance and her body and she could not face me the way she looks, so there's really no chance of that happening.

Some people questioned the state of her transition and suspect this to be the source of her insecurities. For the record, she told me a time line and general state of her transition but at this point it doesn't matter since I have a hard time believing her and I wont get to see her anyway.

As for the update:

I messaged her, told her all my thoughts and feelings and she reiterated, that she could not face me in the near future and that she wants to hide in her room and dream of our future instead.

You can call me a naive fool but I still don't think that she lied about everything, I know it sounds weird but she was pretty upfront with some of the bad realities of her life, just not the extent. I think that's partly why the whole story was believable to me. The pictures she sent me weren't of some model, they were very average. She maintains, that pretty much everything she told me about her life is true except that she is, and I quote "trans and ugly". That broke my heart, its fucking sad. I think she is completely terrified and very lonely and she sees no future version of herself that could be any different so she chooses to dream instead.
And I can relate so hard because I used to live in my own head for a long time. I didn't like myself and struggled with human connection but I got desperate at some point and started living life. I had it easy compared to her though, she doesn't see a way out of her situation.

So I offered her to think about a friendship instead, which I know is risky and stupid. I just feel that's the thing, she really needs most right now and some of you suggested that as well. I'm scared to drag her along but I'll give it a shot if she agrees. We decided to give our communication a rest for now and talk in a few days about where we stand and how to proceed. I will think about some hard boundaries since I don't want to feed this phantasy of our future any more. Also I will try to find resources about how to deal with someone who lives as a shut in. Maybe I can be a positive influence in her life.

At the end of the day, no matter what she told me, she is still an awesome person in many regards.

I'm 32 years old... I've known about my attraction to men since forever, but I have developed genuine sexual/romantic feelings for a few female partners also throughout my life. It was a major internal conflict through high school. Even as a kid, I always felt that claiming bisexuality was an out for me to avoid labeling myself as gay. Growing up, this notion has only been more solidified as I move through life. A lot of people genuinely believe that a man cannot be bisexual, and if he is, then he's really just gay. My own lesbian best friend has said this... despite knowing that I'm in the closet. Idk... she's even made some "gay-intolerant" statements that implies she wouldn't understand my struggle.

I grew up in a "ghetto-suburban" area that's relatively progressive, but my community (friends, family, acquaintances) are overall homophobic and think they're "from the streets"... They have a few gay friends, but have made a lot of homophobic statements in the past. The only gay people they regularly hang out with are lesbians, not actual men who likes other men. My parent's aren't exactly homophobic (they have plenty of gay friends) but they have made statements that make it hard for me to want to tell them. My dad himself has told me that my Grandma would be "very disappointed" if I was gay. This was within the last few years. I have some gay friends that know, but most of them start trying to get with me instead of actually trying to help me process this. One even tried to "out" me 🙄 because I was "in denial". So... my family is homophobic, my lesbian best friend is gay-phobic, my community is homophobic, and my gay friends just want to hook up... It feels like I keep getting denied who I am everywhere I go and whoever I talk to. I just want someone to say "you are bisexual." I've even had a few gay people scoff at me and go "you mean you're secretly gay" when I tell them I'm bisexual... Seems like straight people want me to be either gay or straight and gay people want me to be exclusively gay. Why are people so uncomfortable with bisexuality? Towards men at that. I think my Lesbian friend is having trouble understanding me because she came out in middle school and have had absolutely no friction with that. She was accepted by everyone. The most homophobic dudes also. I don't think I'll get that same grace

I've gotten to the point where I'm very comfortable in myself being bisexual. I genuinely love both genders, and enjoy "doing things" with both. I don't want to exclude either gender from my dating pool. I would say I'm ready to come out, but I just need a way out since I still live with my brother and our landlord. I'm working towards being completely independent in case I need to withdraw from my family and rest of my community should they not receive the news well. I'm not ashamed of myself, but the possible repercussions are very real. And my community can be vindictive.

The frustrating part is... I'm chronically single. I go on lots of dates, but ultimately, I just feel like I haven't met anyone, male or female, that's worth it to give up this amazing independent life I've built and am continuing to build for myself. The list of "attractive" people I've dated and chose not to pursue a relationship with is long lol

That doesn't bother me, dating can be so fun, and I've met a handful of friends this way when we decide that we're not going to work out, but I have and have always had way too many friends in very toxic relationships that I'm very careful in who I choose to build a life with together.

Often, people start questioning my sexuality because i'm "too attractive" to be single, but its genuinely less of a in the closet situation, and more of a "havent met the one" situation as corny as it sounds. Everytime, I really wanted to say, "I'm bisexual... I like both men and women and i'm still single... by choice." But then I feel like it's going to become a "are you bi? Or are you really gay" debate which I just don't have the time or energy for anymore... I'm tired of trying to validate MYSELF to people.

To be honest, Idk what this post is really about... I just want to feel heard by someone.

It's the first time I need to ask for rent money 🫠

Moved to Japan 8 years ago as an English teacher, survived COVID here and was paying back my college bills (from SoCal) just fine. After COVID the yen gets super weak and I can't afford to live out here anymore, so I look for jobs. After a while find something that seems like an amazing opportunity, and good pay (USD)in a new field so switched jobs about a year ago.

I got to stay in Japan and the town I have been in, get paid in USD in Japan is amazing, and don't need to relocate.

It was a great year finally saving money, and had a blast having time and money to spend time with friends, but starting this year around Feb the amount of contracts we get has dried up. Slowly going down and about a month and a half ago stopped. I keep getting promises that it will pick up but I don't trust it lol

So now I'm looking for new work while hoping the contracts pick up again, and this happens when I finally start dating someone. My horrible dating life could be its own post 😂.

But here I am at my friend's coffee shop eating

Banana Bread with ice cream, Its not the best choice while needing to save money I know but if I need to cut my losses and go back to America I want to see my friends.

So send prayers and good vibes that I find another job, the good thing with my current work is if it picks up again I can maybe do both, just treat it like a side gig but in the mean time I need money for bills.

Featuring an overcooked pizza. Too crispy for my liking.

I think I should have settled for the narcissist.

She was willing to get married to me so long as I gave her everything she wanted, and not just materialistically. She was also willing to do the same. Sure, her parents were racist and she was ignorant. She had no time management skills, never took accountability for her actions and had a criminal record as well as a 5 year marriage she hid from me. She somehow always made me feel bad about having an opinion she didn’t agree with which lead to arguments and my apologizing for expressing my opinions.

But she had money, knew what she wanted, was beautiful and the sex was great. The good sex was the first red flag ironically.

I left her on February 16th. One day after my birthday and two days after Valentine’s Day which was also the night I said I loved her.

I spent hundreds of dollars on her between flowers, dinners, and booking the trip for Valentine’s Day.

She gifts me a $40 bottle of knock off cologne for my birthday.

I got out of her car, and said I’m done with you and walked away. She never reached out for an explanation or to try and fix things. She blocked my number and social media accounts before I even boarded the plane to go home.

It was long distance, I flew down to see her twice in 4 months. Spent a total of 10 days together. She was supposed to meet my parents the following month after the break up.

I’ve been crying myself to sleep more often than usual over the past two months. Thinking that despite the potentially harmful situation I was going to enter, that I should have just taken the psychological abuse I was being set up for. To accept that nothing else was going to come my way. I say to myself that I shouldn’t have left and just suffered in silence because she was a means to an end just like I was to her.

I’m genuinely tired of dating, I enjoy being alone but done like the feeling of being lonely.

This is why I wish I settled.

EDIT: to add what caused the break up. It was her consistent lateness over the weekend and never apologized about it. I waited over an hour at the airport for her when she lived 40 min away. She made us late to dinner reservations, and late checking out of the Airbnb.

When I asked her about it, while my voice was trembling because I didn’t want to cry, she told me to fix my tone when I spoke to her.

im at the airport with my husband. all the shops are closed and through conversation with this very nice airport staff member, i found out that there weren't any vending machines in this place. she asked me if there was anything in particular i was looking for, and i told her that im just looking for a cold bottle of pepsi.

her shift ended and im sitting on my phone in my wheelchair. i hear a voice call out to me, and the woman is returning with two bottles of pepsi. she had remembered of a single vending machine that only the staff could get to. i thanked her and she left.

she has no idea how much i needed this. me and my husband can't afford food. we are only at the airport because my FIL died and the military is helping us out. our roommates are giving me such a hard time (to put it extremely lightly) that im too scared to go downstairs to the kitchen and get whatever food we might have. hell, im straight up too stressed to eat. i dont feel safe at home.

this woman made me remember that life is actually worth living. that good does exist in this world. that i am deserving of kindness. she unknowingly helped me out during one of the worst points of my life. and i will be forever grateful.

Never done one of these but I guess I just really wanted to put it into words.

I’ve been in this relationship for going on 6 years soon. (Me25) (She28) and it’s been the best I’ve ever been in since the start, never had I wanted to better myself and continue to do so for someone so strongly before, nor ever felt as supported and cared for in my life by anybody else. The only thing is the sex life between us, things had started very strong and very frequent in the start.

I know that sort of intimacy is supposed to slow down as time goes on but, we’re like still in our twenties y’know? And surely I haven’t slowed down at all. It’s just that lately it’s come to a point where it feels like a really big hurdle to get her in the mood, and I don’t mean that in a way where I’m saying that it’s troublesome or annoying, I know things take effort. It’s just that it wasn’t like that before. We’ve talked about it before and she’s started to really question her own sexuality, in the sense of being potentially asexual. This makes it really hard for me, any time I have feelings of intimacy it just turns into guilt and I generally feel gross. Ever since she’d mentioned that she feels the way she does it’s made me second guess whether or not she actually wants to be having sex or if she’s just trying to fill a quota to make sure I don’t go anywhere. There’s a part of me that’s like “well absolutely not, no matter what I love you” but at the same time now, I don’t think it’s normal to feel like a monster to have typical human feelings. I’m just not certain how to make it not feel personal when we’ve gone from 2-3 times a week to once a month and if it’s on that month, if I don’t finish fast I’m not finishing.

Who knows, maybe I should just mellow out and not think about it too much, because really she’s just the sweetest, goofiest, and loveliest person ever. We basically feel like we’d known each other since forever in other lifetimes and I wouldn’t trade the world for it. However, again these feelings can’t be normal. A tiny bit of history for us is that we’ve been living together since the very start of the relationship and never had problems outside of this. We even just recently got a kitten and he’s kickass. But yeah anyways, I know it’s a little scatter brained and I know that I’m the only one who can say if it’s worth it to continue to make it work, just putting it all into words and maybe looking for advice on the matter

Pic: Zelsius for lunch

It's frustrating being in this position. We've been working together for almost a year now, and she's so great. I think she is the most beautiful woman I could or ever would come across in my life. Talking to her is effortless, even if I'm still occasionally deathly afraid of messing something up, or saying something wrong. She's smart. She's incredibly witty with her jokes and comebacks, and oh my god her smile. Wow.

I'm obviously not going to say it's love or anything like that. While we've had deeper conversations and have gotten to know each other on more than a coworker level, we've never really spent time together outside of work besides the occasional dinner that a few other coworkers were at also. I mean I've been in previous relationships, I've been in love before.. there's just something about this, about her, that's different.

I don't particularly believe in the supernatural or a higher power, but it almost feels like the universe is trying to push me towards her. I really want to branch things out and get to spend some time with her outside of work, maybe go to a movie or something, but I can't. She's in a relationship. Even if I may feel like something special is being left on the table, it's obviously not my choice or my place to make that choice. I'm not going to tell her either. Because I don't want to meddle in something I shouldn't be, and I certainly don't want to make things awkward between us and just in general for her.

Unless something crazy changes, she'll never know how I feel. Yes, I'll have my frustration, yes I'll have my heartache, yes I'll have a what-if that eats at me. So be it. I still get to see her for 8 hours of my day and talk with her and laugh with her. If that's all this ever would be, so be it.

Picture is some Hawaiian fajitas from a restaurant I went to recently.

Dinner is what I had for Father’s Day because it makes me happy. Tlayuda Mixta for those wondering - very delicious.

Basically as it says in the title.

TLDR: My 6 month old daughter had a febrile seizure that required me to administer CPR and it’s a lot to hold onto.

This is gonna be ranty and prob disjointed because I’m still not 100% all there mentally.

Leading up to the event, I was getting her ready for bed. I had taken her temp about an hour prior and it was within the lower range the doctors said was safe, she had vaccines that morning so was running a little fever. I put her in a lightweight footy, put her on my chest and she fell asleep. After about 10-20 minutes she popped her head up and stared at me for a second and her eyes rolled up in her head while she sounded like she was gasping for air. Immediately followed was a full body seizure. I called my wife in to help and as I put her on the bed she was turning all shades of grey and blue. She became totally unresponsive and wasn’t breathing after the seizing subsided. The whole time our owlet sock is screaming at us showing her O2 and heart rate dropping. Wife called 911 while I put her on the floor and did chest compressions for about 15-20 seconds until she started coming to. EMS came and her fever had spiked to 102. When we got to the hospital she had another seizure albeit less severe. 6 hours in the hospital later they determined it to be febrile seizures, gave her meds and she was discharged without incident.

I hardly slept and just spent the time dozing off for 10 seconds at a time and waking up panicked to continue watching her while she slept. She slept so much today coming off the meds they gave her, I was terrified that when she finally woke up she’d be different or have some sort of complications related to the lack of oxygen. But she didn’t - she started smiling and laughing at me once she saw me despite everything she went through and holy shit, it broke me up. i literally collapsed on the floor with elation. I’m really conflicted because on the one hand I’m very thankful that she came out of it alright, but at the same time I’m struggling with reliving the whole ordeal - the mental images and sensations of giving her CPR are very overwhelming when I remember them - and wondering if there’s anything I could’ve done better and there’s also a degree of guilt for not catching the fever sooner. If anyone has gone through something similar what kinds of things helped you get through the mental hurdles?

Also, please, if you have a young child and haven’t taken a CPR/First Aid class, do it ASAP. Idk what I would’ve done if we hadn’t had that knowledge.

Edit for clarification

Edit for gratitude:
I cant get to replying to everyone’s comments because they’re all making me ugly cry, but thank you so much to everyone for the well wishes and words of advice. I’ve never played so much Tetris in my life, but if it helps why not. I was apprehensive to post this on Reddit, but I honestly feel so much more validated and like I did exactly what I needed to do. Putting words out into the universe and hearing affirmations back has been immensely helpful in stifling my self-doubts. Thank you all again.

It makes me a little crazy because she has a PHD so she should know. I don’t say anything about it, though, because who cares. That’s all, nothing crazy. Pizza made in my Ooni.

Pan seared Grassfed sirloin and oven chips (broccoli was consumed off screen.) I'm an American and moved to England in 2020 with my English wife. I thought the lack of friends was because of the pandemic. Six years in, it seems to be something else. I cant quite understand how the english speak. I feel like when they speak in a way that is clear to me it's too late. I had real close relationships in California but here there seems to be a layer between me and everyone I know. We also found out I'm autistic which does not help

Ive been struggling with feeling alone lately. I’m 28 and most of my childhood friends have moved on. I lost touch with everyone which I don’t really care THAT much about. But I’ve made a few really good friend over the years I still talk to and hangout with but as we all get older everyone gets busy and I don’t really feel like I’ve got that close connection with anyone anymore. Idk if it’s just me or if I’m just overthinking it.
I also have only had 1 real girlfriend, some failed talking stages but that’s it. Everyone else seems to have such an easy time dating and idk why it seems almost impossible for me.
I feel like I’m in this endless cycle where I get up early, work all day, come home and eat dinner and in a couple hours I go to bed and do it all again. Sometimes a really wish I had someone to talk to everyday or to share things with but It feels like I’ve got no one.
Not trying to spew a sob story, just wanted to know if anyone else feels this way or if it’s just me

Not dinner, but pizza and fruit for lunch

Dinner was Rice with Cashew Chicken.

I didn't get any real financial education as child and teen. Sure, the usual "don't spend money on stupid things" talk but nothing else really. No talk over money at all. I don't know how much my parents make. I don't know how much their mortgage still is. I don't know how much money my parents can gift me for a down payment if I should buy a house. It's just vague shit all day every day. They just keep telling me "we got your back, don't worry".

My girlfriend is the complete opposite. My MIL works at a bank so I guess this is where it comes from. At 22 she already has a condo, two investment depots, a detailed breakdown plan on how much money we could pay for a house etc. Honestly I am so proud and amazed of her.

I'm paying my last car rate next month for a car I don't really need as much (not a sports car) and that had an engine failure last year.

I've started investing and saving(!) just last year. I needed to ask my parents for money for every big thing that came up... new Washing machine, Trailer hitch, oh and the engine repair of course.

I just feel so incredibly dumb in terms of money and finances. I feel like I wasted so much time not saving anything, with prices just going up and up, not being smart with money. I feel so behind now seeing how my GF got so much going for her already and I have .... nothing.

Made lots of mistakes, lied on a resume, made it very far and far more qualified compared to the other coworkers. Can’t afford my rent let alone car note, now I’m expected to ship out for military service as a last resort, not bad I suppose.

Apple post dinner cause i dont feel like waking up for work tomorrow

Kind of baffling how despite having a pretty solid life with great friends, great family, a hobby or two and also working, i find a way to continue to feel that dread that feels like a literal hole in my heart.

Its been a lot of the last 10 years of my 20 years of living, sometimes its worse than others. But what else is there than to continue.

One must imagine sisyphus empty